What I Saw In Week 3 of the Seahawks’ Preseason

A whole lotta crap!

Actually, that’s not true.  Or fair.  The starting defense showed me quite a bit.  Red Bryant is still the monster he was last year before he got injured in that Raiders game.  Chris Clemons had a nifty interception when he dropped back in coverage.  Trufant flashed his Pro Bowl ability with a sack, a tackle for loss, and no significant receiving yards against (from what I noticed, anyway).  Even Aaron Curry was out there making plays on both defense and special teams.

The defense could’ve done a lot more if they weren’t on the field for so long.  Unfortunately, once again, the starting offense couldn’t stop tripping all over their dicks.  Someone is gonna have to get Pancakes Carpenter some blocking help on that right side; he’s getting killed on the most basic outside pass rushes.  This thing is getting to be the worst kind of broken record.  Tarvar can’t get any time to pass, which means I don’t get to rip the guy apart for being unworthy to start in the National Football League!

Of course, at this point I still have to point out that the offensive coordinator isn’t really helping Tarvar out any.  Darrell Bevell needs to take advantage of our abundance of tight ends and start loading the line.  We need MORE rushing plays, MORE rollout passes, MORE quick slants and three-step drops.  The combination of a Swiss cheese line and Tarvar’s questionable decision-making ability necessitates taking the offense out of their hands so to speak.

I figured the offensive line would take some time to gel, but I didn’t count on things being this dire.  I’m not saying things won’t get better; I’m just saying I figured they’d be more ahead of the game at this early point.

Harkening back to my post earlier in the week, we saw a field goal!  Hell, we saw two, both from over 50 yards!  In addition (and something unrelated to what I wanted to see from this game), Jon Ryan was by far the MVP of this game.  He averaged over 50 yards per punt (with a whopping three punts going 60+).  Now, obviously you never want to say the MVP of your team is the punter, but we’ve got to pull our silver linings where we can grab ’em.

Also, HEY NOW, was that ever an exciting 105 yard kickoff return!  This bullshit with all the touchbacks is really starting to piss me off.  Maybe it was because it was Denver in August (as opposed to, say, Chicago in December), but the NFL really screwed the pooch on this thing.  I never in my wildest nightmares would’ve thought that these touchbacks would become so rampant.  It’s just a God damned abomination.

In a quick rundown of some other things:

Football Jesus hardly got to play, so I guess that’s one way to avoid a quarterback controversy.  All we can do is bemoan the fact that we’re not getting a real competition to begin with.  I dunno, what does it really matter?  When we’re 0-5 at the BYE week, we’ll most likely see Whitehurst anyway.

Another bright side is we didn’t have to see Kelly Jennings tonight!  And look, the world didn’t end!  Wouldn’t it be something if our favorite whipping boy found his name on the list of final cuts?

And, finally, Tim Tebow probably could have been worse, but he still looked pretty terrible.  Suck it, Denver.  No one likes you and by all accounts you all smell.

Here’s to the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes.  Cincinnati and Washington will both be formidable opponents, but with the way this offense is playing, I still like our chances.  Way to go Carroll & Schneider!  It’s like that South Park episode with the Pro-War and Anti-War protesters.  By signing guys like Sidney Rice and Zach Miller, they’ve given the illusion that we’re competing in 2011; but by running out an inexperienced offensive line with a gallons-full-of-suck quarterback, clearly we’re poised to lose upwards of 14 games (or more) in an attempt to draft our quarterback of the future.

It’s called Having Your Cake & Eating It Too.

1 thought on “What I Saw In Week 3 of the Seahawks’ Preseason

  1. Pingback: My Pointless, Stupid Predictions For The 2011 NFL Season | Seattle Sports Hell

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