How Can The Seahawks Get Andrew Luck?

Because what else am I going to write about, the Mariners?

I’ve already gone on and on at length about why I think the Seahawks will lose on Sunday, but I haven’t really gone into what I’d like to see.

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To be honest?  I’ve already given up on this season, as is readily apparent.  I’m at absolute no-confidence in this football team, so my thought process is:  why even bother?  We should lose all our games, grab the Number 1 overall draft pick, and then watch in horror as Andrew Luck tears his ACL in the Rose Bowl (what can I say, I’m a Glass-Half-Full kinda guy).

That having been said, it’s not like I’m going to sit there when the game is on in front of me and actively root against my team.  I’ve been conditioned for 30 long fucking years to root for this God-foresaken team; that’s not something you can just shut off when you’re in the moment.

Away from the moment, I’m all for it.  LOSE!  LOSE ALL YOUR GAMES!  But sitting there for three hours watching your team get pounded, it’s pretty much the most miserable experience ever.

And, there’s a real-world problem with this Lose ‘Em All mentality.  NFL teams aren’t constructed to lose 16 games in a season.  The perfect storm of utter and collosal shit has to happen for a team to lose enough games to take the Number 1 Draft Pick!  First of all, you need a bad quarterback (check).  It would help if you’re putting a lot of young guys or draft picks into starting roles (check), and for peace of mind, toss in a green kicker in his first full-time NFL kicking gig (check).

That’s all well and good, but then you have to factor in the injuries.  The worst of the worst tend to have the most of the most injuries.  It’s counter-productive to be starting all these young guys and then have all these young guys end up getting injured.  What’s the most important thing for an offensive line to have (aside from, I’m assuming, talent)?  Continuity.  These guys need to play a full fucking season together!  We’ve had oodles and oodles of injuries along our offensive line for YEARS now and it’s getting to be re-GodDamn-diculous!

We’re also starting youngsters in the secondary.  Well, that’s a TERRIBLE spot to suffer injuries!  Sure, it’ll increase our chances of going 0-16 tenfold (approximately), but we need those guys getting experience so they’re ready to be bigtime contributers next season!

The perfect scenario is the old San Antonio Spurs case where they were a perennial playoff team, then they lost David Robinson, tanked a full season, and came back the very next year with new draft pick Tim Duncan like they never missed a beat.  It’s what many say Indy should do with Peyton Manning, even though you have to figure Manning has another 5-6 good years left and why would you draft Andrew Luck to have him sit for 5-6 years (especially when you just re-signed Manning to a million-billion dollar contract extension)?

But, that shit ain’t easy.  San Antonio was already pretty much a veteran team to begin with.  We’re not.  We need to simultaneously suck hard without key core young guys missing significant time due to injury!

That’s a fine tightrope that will need to heavily take into account the final factor most teams need to be the biggest loser:  luck.

You gotta have bad luck!  You’ve got to get screwed on some critical calls by the refs.  You’ve got to have some last-minute turnovers to send your comeback efforts down the toilet.  You’ve got to have your kicker miss an extra point that would’ve sent the game into overtime.  You’ve gotta have these things ALL go against you!  A surefire pick-six needs to dribble harmlessly out of your defender’s hands.  A punt returner needs to slip and fall on his own just as he’s ready to bust one for a touchdown.  I could go on and on.

Most people think it takes an incredible amount of skill (or lack thereof) to go 0-16, when in reality it takes an incredible amount of luck.  Luck, injuries, raw players being thrown into the fire, and a whole mess of bad quarterbacking.

I think the Seahawks have what it takes, but when push comes to shove, is that what I REALLY want?  An NFL season is a LONG fucking drain when your team goes winless (or mostly winless).  Eyes on the prize and all that, but I don’t know if my heart is truly in it.

1 thought on “How Can The Seahawks Get Andrew Luck?

  1. Well written article fellow Seahawks fan! Made me both laugh my ass off, and fight back a few tears. We certainly have been shit on with injuries in the last few years(08′ the year of no WR’s) and pretty much no LG since Hutch left. I’m torn between rooting for victory and rooting for epic downfall with a chance to grab Luck. But i agree, the young guys need plenty of experience to be strong contributors in the years to come. Sidney Rice definetly looked the part against Atlanta today, as did Doug Baldwin(Luck’s WR at Stanford). I hope to god that we are just bad enough to get the 1st pick in the draft while not sustaining any catastrophic injuries. Here’s to the 2012 NFL Draft! Go Hawks!

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