When A Win Is Really A Loss: Seahawks Over Cardinals

Look, I understand.  Most people don’t want to hear from sorry fucks like myself.  It’s not that they don’t want to talk about it or don’t want to debate you; they don’t even want to acknowledge the notion!  The fact that, as a fan, you’d be willing to throw away an entire season just to get the Number 1 pick is so abhorrent, you pretty much cease to be a human being upon even broaching the idea.

And yet, we all know the Seahawks are terrible.  Just God-fucking-awful.  We KNOW they’re not bound for the playoffs this year; and even if there’s the fluke of flukes (like last season’s 7-9 division championship) and the Seahawks somehow find a way – against all fucking ODDS – to make the playoffs:  we can all say without a shadow of a doubt that this team, led by this quarterback, throwing behind this offensive line, is no fucking contender for a Super Bowl.

So, let’s just cut the shit, all right?  Yesterday’s win was absolutely fucking horrible!

I’ll ask you here, all you yea-sayers, what was the point of that?  What’s the good that we derived by beating a bad team and taking a significant blow to acquiring Andrew Luck?  What have we LEARNED?  It was a 13 to 10 victory – at home – where our offense only generated 261 yards, and we won because the other team missed two make-able field goals!

Arizona is a fucking terrible team.  Their defense is absurdly bad.  And yet, they sacked us 4 times and tackled us for loss another 7 times.

We, the home team, were penalized 8 times (often of the false start variety).  Our quarterback was barely over 50% passing for a meager 171 yards!  He looked absolutely miserable out there and was booed on more than one occasion, deservedly so.

And, in spite of all of that, we’re now 1-2.  That’s just fucking great.  It’s playing bullshit teams like these – these in our very own fucking division – that’s going to prevent us from bottoming out the way we desperately NEED to bottom out!  You know what 5-11 is going to get us?  Matt Barkley.  Anybody enthused with the prospect of drafting a pretty-boy USC quarterback who has only shown he’s a collosal choke-artist in close (and important) football games?  Because I’m sure as shit not!

This win was completely and utterly pointless.  The worst part is, it buys Tarvar another week.  Not that I think benching him makes any difference, but does anyone in this city want to see him and his happy feet for 16 games?  Does anyone want to see him come back as our starter next year?

Keep it up, Seahawks fans!  Keep cheering on this team (as opposed to rooting for tanking) like the dithering sycophants you are!  If this Seahawks team ends up winning a bunch of games like this, then guess what!  You’ll be looking at Year Two of the Tarvar Experience!

I’m so fucking disgusted in everything right now.  Fuck this team.  Why don’t they just go out and sloppily handle Atlanta next week while we’re at it?


I will say this, as one positive, before I hang ’em up for the evening.  There’s a lot to like about this defense.  Kam Chancellor and Earl Thomas look like so much of the real deal, I’m amazed.  It’s been a quarter century since we’ve seen safeties this good on this team!

Also, to finish on some tasty sour grapes:  Kevin Kolb sucked about 40 dicks yesterday!  That was a sight to behold!  For as much as I hated seeing us win this game, I hate Arizona just as much, and it’s nice to know that Kolb probably isn’t the savior Arizona thought he was.  If we can contribute to his confidence being shaken, that could spell great things going forward.  How awesome would it be if Arizona whiffed on their bigtime quarterback acquisition?

So, I guess yesterday wasn’t 100% bad.  Pardon my French from earlier.

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