Seahawks Death Week: What Needs To Stay The Same

This doesn’t need to be terribly long – after all, we’ve got other fish to fry on this website today – so we’ll bang this one out real quick.

At the very tippy-top of this list is one:  Tom Cable.  The man is a fucking WIZARD!  He pretty much single-handedly waved his magic wand in front of this offensive line unit and turned them into a formidable force of nature, all within a single season with next-to-no training camp!

I don’t know how he does it.  The past two years, this team was as worthless as worthless can be on the O-Line.  Is it all Tom Cable?  Did we get lucky with some key draft picks and free agent signings?  Tough to say.  But, the fact that we can still get 100-yard rushing days (against the likes of the #1 rushing defense in the NFL) out of guys like Lemuel Jeanpierre, Paul McQuistan, and Breno Giacomini … that spells MVP in my book.  Tom Cable is the MVP of this entire team and deserves to be recognized as such!

Of course, keeping him around shouldn’t be too hard.  The only way we lose him is if he finds a better offer somewhere else.  I don’t think he would leave for a lateral move like a coordinating position, so it would most likely have to be a head coaching job.  Unfortunately for us, every year there are always a handful of openings, so even IF we dodge a bullet this offseason, I wouldn’t bank on Tom Cable being here after next year.

Can someone ramp up the research on cloning already?  Just so we can create a Tom Cable clone to keep coaching our offensive line (and then destroy all information on cloning so no one else can do the same).

With Tom Cable as my 1-A in the Things To Keep Department, you KNOW who my 1-B is.

Marshawn “Pay The Man” Lynch!  I’ve already talked about him enough this week, but let’s go over the finer points real quick:  he’s a scoring machine, he’s impossible to take down on the first, second, or even third hit, he’s easily the most like-able guy on the team, Skittles are delicious as fuck, and his nickname is fucking BEASTMODE!  And he’s only 25 years old, so he’s got a good half-decade before he completely falls apart (unless he’s the type of guy who gets his money and lets himself go; I hope to high heaven that’s not the case here).

He’s my favorite player, Seahawks.  Do the right thing.  Do the right thing and sell a shitload of jerseys while you’re at it; I’m sure that’ll help mitigate some of the expense of re-signing him.

You know who’s third on this list?  I wouldn’t have thunk it at the start of the season (indeed, I kind of poo-poo’d this move when it originally happened), but Alan Branch is CERTAINLY deserving of some love from the Extension Fairy.  6’6, 325, he’s quite the healthy compliment to Brandon Mebane and Red Bryant along that defensive line.  For a guy who went from being an afterthought to a guy who was regularly praised for his quality play, that’s a helluva story I’d like to see continue on into the coming seasons.

Remember when the Seahawks lost Marcus Tubbs and were completely inept along the middle of the defensive line?  Yeah, now we’ve got three Marcus Tubbs’ and they’re all starting!

Fourth on the big board is Michael Robinson.  Can we PLEASE stop going year-to-year with this guy?  Have we learned nothing from the Mack Strongs of the world?  If your team has an elite fullback, your team will have an elite running game.  If Beastmode is the cock plowing through the other team’s defense, then Robinson is the condom keeping him safe.  WRAP IT UP, SEAHAWKS!!!

Finally, you know what REALLY needs to stay the same?  The way Pete Carroll and John Schneider evaluate talent.  Remember all of those ass-clowns talking shit about our draft last year?  WHERE ARE THEY NOW???  How many teams out there drafted four good-to-elite starters in the 2011 draft?  (Moffitt, Carpenter, Wright, Sherman).  As ROOKIES no less!  Oh, and let us not forget good ol’ undrafted Doug Baldwin, who ALSO as a rookie went and led this team in receiving.

Don’t listen to the haters Pete & John.  Keep doing your thing.  Even if no one else believes, I have faith.  You’ve won me over from day 1 and I’ll stand behind you.

Just, for the love of God, give me a quarterback this offseason!

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