Predicting The NFL Season, After Week 1

I was gone all week last week, so I never got around to doing this.  Now, week 1 has happened and it’s up to me to not over-react.  I feel confident!

NFC East
Philadelphia Eagles
Dallas Cowboys
New York Giants
Washington Redskins

I know the Eagles looked like balls against the Browns, but I think they still have too much talent and too much good coaching.  I think they figure it the fuck out, start running the ball with more regularity, and their defense will continue to be opportunistic going forward.  I’m seeing the Eagles and Cowboys tied with 10-6 records and I’m seeing both of them making the playoffs.  I’m also seeing the Giants taking a bit of a step back.  Why?  Because they’re coming off of a Super Bowl run, and because I drafted Eli Manning.  Bank on no better than 8-8, with a lot of injuries and a lot of Eli trying (and failing) to do too much.  The Redskins are this season’s Panthers (exciting high draft pick quarterback), but with a better defense.  I’m seeing 5-6 wins.

NFC North
Green Bay Packers
Chicago Bears
Detroit Lions
Minnesota Vikings

Yeah, the Packers lost, but they’re not as good as the 49ers.  That having been said, they’re still fucking amazing on offense and they’ll get just enough out of their defense to squeak out an 11-5 record.  I’m seeing the Bears at 10-6 and getting that second Wild Card (spoiler alert:  the Seahawks won’t make the playoffs this year).  Detroit is no better than 8-8, probably more like 7-9.  That defense is THE WORST.  Minnesota probably gets you around 5 wins.

NFC South
Atlanta Falcons
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Carolina Panthers
New Orleans Saints

LOVE the Falcons this year (but, then again, I love the Falcons most years).  Still, I think they have a sweet schedule and if they can get past the Broncos this weekend (at home, where they are nearly unbeatable), they likely go 6-0 going into their BYE.  I think the Bucs improve, but I think they finish around 9 wins and on the outside looking in.  I think the Panthers take a huge step up to .500, but they still need a defense.  I think the Saints completely fall apart, tank it in the second half, and end up with like 4 wins.  Good luck to all you fucks who kept Drew Brees.

NFC West
San Francisco 49ers
Seattle Seahawks
Arizona Cardinals
St. Louis Rams

San Francisco 49ers:  best team in the NFL.  I am guaranteeing 14 wins right now.  My gut tells me they go 15-1.  That defense is absolutely unstoppable and their only real test going forward is At New England.  And, what I don’t get?  Everyone is clowning on their offense, but Alex Smith showed me a lot last year in just being steady.  Then, in the playoffs, he looked REALLY clutch in those two games.  I think the Seahawks end up with 8-9 wins, I think Arizona ends up with 7-8 wins, and I think the Rams end up with 6-7 wins.  Don’t check my math on these things, because I’m not exactly going through every team’s schedule predicting wins & losses through week 17.

AFC East
New England Patriots
New York Jets
Buffalo Bills
Miami Dolphins

The Patriots are the Patriots, lock ’em up for 11-5 or 12-4.  The Jets are the Jets and they’ll end up 8-8 or 9-7.  The Bills are dreadful and they’ll end up with 6 wins.  The Dolphins are the worst team in all of football and will win 1-2 games.  One caveat:  if they go back to Matt Moore, I think they rise up and surpass the Bills.  Only problem:  I don’t think New Head Coach goes with the change unless Tannehill gets injured.

AFC North
Baltimore Ravens
Cincinnati Bengals
Pittsburgh Steelers
Cleveland Browns

I like the Ravens a ton and think they win 12-13.  Even though they got destroyed last night, I still like the Bengals for 10 wins and a Wild Card slot.  I think the Steelers underachieve, end up 8-8, and start questioning whether or not they need a new head coach.  I think the Browns rival the Dolphins, but their defense keeps them afloat for 3 wins.

AFC South
Houston Texans
Tennessee Titans
Jacksonville Jaguars
Indianapolis Colts

It’s the Texans and it’s everyone else.  I think the Texans coast to a #2 seed with a 12-win year.  The Titans improve, but they still end up with 7 wins.  The Jags are the Jags and they end up with 4 wins.  The Colts are the Colts and also finish with 4 wins.

AFC West
Denver Broncos
San Diego Chargers
Kansas City Chiefs
Oakland Raiders

Broncos:  10 wins.  Chargers, 9 wins and the final Wild Card.  Chiefs, 6 wins.  Raiders something like 4 wins.

NFC Playoffs
1.  San Francisco
2.  Atlanta
3.  Green Bay
4.  Philadelphia
5.  Dallas
6.  Chicago

AFC Playoffs
1.  Baltimore
2.  Houston
3.  New England
4.  Denver
5.  Cincinnati
6.  San Diego

Wild Card Round
Green Bay over Chicago
Philadelphia over Dallas
New England over San Diego
Cincinnati over Denver

Divisional Round
Green Bay over Atlanta
San Francisco over Philadelphia
Baltimore over Cincinnati
New England over Houston

Championship Round
San Francisco over Green Bay
Baltimore over New England

Super Bowl
Baltimore over San Francisco

I do think the 49ers are pretty unstoppable, but in the Super Bowl anything goes.  Hell, at least it’s not another New England/Green Bay prediction …

6 thoughts on “Predicting The NFL Season, After Week 1

  1. I have a bit of a different outcome. Some divisions of yours are right on though. I think there will be one surprise team in the Super Bowl and one obvious team (probably New England). NFC team in the Super Bowl: Arizo…. no. … no. ‘Skins. Seriously, I think RG III is the greatest quarterback to bless this league since Tom Brady, who only loses because he’s not in the mood for a win. I think the Redskins are going to be really really good and… maybe not make it all the way, but surprise everyone and go maybe to the NFC Champs.

    or something.

  2. Can I go on?

    I think Seattle will surprise with a victory in Green Bay. If they do, they’ve become the shit they’re supposed to be (even though it’s only two games from now). If they don’t, not a big deal. Expect losses (obviously) at GB, New England, and SF. A few others are maybes. I think the key game is going to be Chicago at Soldier Field on Dec. 2. If they can win there that would mean they are legit by then and they’ve just undone the only team they’re going to tie for (if they’re good enough to win) for the Wild Card birth. That’s my prediction.

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