Free Agent Watch: Mariners Retain Shawn Kelley

Slow news week, I know.  Can’t help it; any writing I’ve managed to muster has gone into a recap of my Mexico trip.  Still trying to find a way to recap it that won’t get me fired or thrown in jail …

HEY, SHAWN KELLEY’S BACK!  It’s like he never left!

So, look, it’s Shawn Kelley.  He’s a right-handed reliever who throws hard, throws strikes, generally puts up solid numbers, but every once in a while looks like a total assclown.  He alone is no one to get too excited about.  But, throw him in a bullpen that looks as stacked as any in the Major Leagues and you’ve got something pretty special.

It sucks … just a little bit, when the most exciting, most talented portion of your baseball team is your bullpen.  I’d like to go back in time, to those good Mariners teams of the late 90s and early 00s.  Back when they would’ve KILLED for a bullpen this good.  I’d like to tell everyone who watched, “I know we could use a bullpen to get over that hump, but PLEASE, cherish what you have!  Solid starting rotations, other-worldly hitting, a front office you could feel confident in!  Treasure it!  Stay here!  Stay as long as you can!”

Here’s the 6-man bullpen as I see it:

  1. Tom Wilhelmsen
  2. Stephen Pryor
  3. Oliver Perez
  4. Shawn Kelley
  5. Charlie Furbush
  6. Lucas Luetge

There’s also:

  • Carter Capps
  • Josh Kinney
  • Chance Ruffin
  • Maybe Hector Noesi

One would think something’s gotta give, especially if Capps comes out in Spring on fire.  Everyone had the brilliant idea this offseason of trading from this heaping strength to bring in some firepower elsewhere in the lineup.  Thus far, all we’ve done is hoard, like that guy in your fantasy football league who holds onto too many quarterbacks expecting to wheel and deal, only to fail and give up when the going gets tough and he absolutely needs to fill a hole elsewhere.

I’d sure like to see this team bring in a quality starter.  But, yeah, I guess having Shawn Kelley back is cool too.

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