Jim Harbaugh Needs To Keep His Whore Mouth Shut: A Look At The Seahawks, 49ers & Rivalries

Every great team needs a great rivalry.  That’s just the way it works.  It’s not as satisfying to waltz into the Super Bowl having mowed through inferior competition.  You’d like to beat at least one team that’s on your level.  And you’d like it if that team was as loathesome as the San Francisco 49ers.

The Seahawks have had rivalries over the years, but they always felt Less Than.  The Raiders and Broncos, primarily.  They were 1 & 1-A, with Kansas City not far behind.  Then, we got squeezed out and shoved into a makeshift NFC West division with teams we’d hardly played before.  And, almost immediately, we were the best team in that division, as the Rams went on the long, slow decline.

Yeah, the Rams were a little irritating at first, but once their wheels fell off, they were just another team to feel sorry for.  Then, the Cardinals were good for a minute, but by then the Seahawks were on the decline.  With the rise of the 49ers, and the very-sudden rise of the Seahawks, we finally have something!  And, thanks to guys like Jim Harbaugh and Colin Kaepernick, we finally have something worth hating!

I’m tired of our biggest rival being the refs.  Or the Steelers.  It’s fucking stupid!  You can’t have a rivalry with a team that hardly knows you’re there.  It’s a waste of time and energy hating something that looks at you with nothing but indifference.  And you can’t fabricate a rivalry with a team that already has well-established rivalries; it’s just not done.

Thankfully, the 49ers are here.  And, truth be told, the 49ers don’t have much of a rivalry with anyone either.

The 49ers used to share a division with the Atlanta Falcons and the New Orleans Saints.  This was a division called the “NFC West”.  You thought having a team in St. Louis was bad, think about being in Atlanta or New Orleans and having to fly out here three times a year (back when the Rams used to be in Los Angeles) at a minimum.  The Falcons and Saints have almost always been terrible throughout the duration of their existences.  Ditto the Cardinals.  The Rams were decent in the early 80s, but when compared to the dominance of the 49ers in the 80s, it was no contest.

The 49ers had to revert to rivalries with teams in other divisions.  The New York Giants, the Chicago Bears, the Washington Redskins, the Dallas Cowboys.  Even then, how does that work?  You’re not guaranteed to see them in the regular season, and you’re not even guaranteed to see them in the playoffs!

I dunno, maybe I’m misguided.  Maybe the 49ers really did have a good hate-on for the Rams or the Saints or something.  I doubt it, though.  At the very least, they didn’t have the kind of rivalry you think of when you think of the greats throughout the years:

Bears/Packers
Steelers/Browns
Bills/Dolphins
Giants/Eagles
Packers/Vikings
Redskins/Cowboys
Raiders/Steelers
Patriots/Colts

To have a great rivalry, ideally you need to be in the same division.  Or, you have to have a series of high-profile regular season & post-season games (like the Raiders & Steelers in the 70s, or the Patriots & Colts in the 00s).  You need to be established franchises who have been around for a while, and for the love of God, you both need to be good at the same time!  Your games need to MEAN something!

And now, these games between the Seahawks & 49ers finally mean something.  Starting last year and going forward, for as long as these two teams are still good, which should figure to be at least the next decade if not longer.  Granted, these two teams have only been in the same division since 2002, so we’re only going into our 12th season together.  But, great rivalries have to start somewhere.  And, thanks to the likes of Jim Harbaugh, and these stupid adderall suspensions, we’ve got gallons of fuel to throw on this fire.

On the one hand, nothing that Jim Harbaugh said was wrong.  The NFL DOESN’T release what the drug actually was that they were suspended for.  Adderall is a known masking agent for other things.  Whatever it is that they’ve been suspended for, the bottom line is it IS cheating.  Nobody wants to be known as cheaters, nor do they want the stigma that they only won “because” they were cheating.  Shit, the New England Patriots still haven’t recovered from being labelled cheaters in that whole Spygate thing!  I agree with everything Jim Harbaugh said in that little portion of his interview.  And, if anyone other than Jim Harbaugh had said what he said, I’d be sitting right here agreeing wholeheartedly.

But, it’s Jim Fucking Harbaugh.  He can eat a bag of dicks as far as I’m concerned.  He’s a vile creep and I hope he gets Super AIDS in the very near future.  Jim Harbaugh is my sworn enemy and he can suck shit before he talks about MY team!  I can bash my team all I want, but that’s because they’re MY team.  I’ve put in the time!  It’s like family at this point.  Jim Harbaugh is a member of the McCoys, and them’s fightin’ words.

It’s amazing to me how Jim Harbaugh is a grown-ass man, yet he doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut.  You ask most any other head coach in the NFL about the Seahawks and PED problems and they’re not touching that question with a 10-foot pole.  Jim Harbaugh is supposed to be this amazing, genius head coach, but he sure can be a stupid fucking idiot sometimes.  Which, granted, makes him interesting to interview.  But, he also succumbs to the ol’ Locker Room Bulletin Board more than he needs to.

As each day goes by, that playoff defeat to the Falcons sticks in my craw more and more.  I want so desperately to go back in time and have the Seahawks win that game, just so we could have the chance to go into San Francisco and bash their brains in.  The Week 2 primetime game against them in CenturyLink Field this season can’t come soon enough.

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