The last two weekends have been, quite possibly, the best weekends of my Mariners life. I should warn you that I have terminal long-term memory loss thanks to thousands upon thousands of hours of brownout drinking (to say nothing of the hours of blackout drinking I’ve been involved with, the number of which escapes me), so I can’t remember much beyond the last two weekends. But, suffice it to say, I haven’t felt this good about this baseball team in YEARS.
Actually, there was a period of time last season, from July 16th through August 1st, where the Mariners went 13-4, to go from 16 games below .500 to 7 games below .500; and another stretch from August 11th through August 22nd, where the Mariners went 10-1, to go from 12 games below .500 to 3 games below .500 (before they started playing near-.500 ball and then finally falling off the cliff to end the season). Those were some pretty good times, but they proved to be faulty. The pitching was insane, the competition was weak, and the hitting was unreliable. Those Mariners weren’t doing what these Mariners are doing now.
Granted, winning six in a row against the lowly Astros and the disappointing Angels isn’t exactly like beating up on the Rangers and A’s, but it’s a start. The Mariners are now 6 games under .500 with a little over two months to play. It’s not unfathomable to think that this team could pick up 3 games in August and 3 games in September to finish 81-81. Remember, at the beginning of the season, we all had 81-81 on our radar, and we all agreed that 81-81 would be a “step in the right direction” and therefore a success. Don’t get all cocky on me, Mariners fans! You know what you said!
This weekend was just plain fun, no doubt about it. A 10-7 throwback game on Friday that had me looking for names like Sorrento, Davis, and Amaral (you know, all those old Mariners greats!). A 4-2 squeaker that saw the Mariners generate 4 runs on 6 walks, 2 passed balls, 1 sac fly, and 1 hit. And finally, a 12-5 drubbing where Felix got to enjoy a ton of early run support and cruise to an easy victory.
This weekend had everything! Homers (2 by Miller, 1 by Seager, Smoak, and a grand slam by Franklin), Pitching (wins for Saunders, Iwakuma, and Felix; saves by Wilhelmsen), a Cycle (Brandon Barnes, who went 5-5 on Sunday), a no-hit bid (Erik Bedard, who took himself out of the game after 6.1 no-hit innings and 109 pitches), and a bunch of really crappy umpiring calls in the finale. We’re at a season-high 6-game win streak now with no end in sight! The Indians come to town today and have the misfortune of facing our three worst pitchers; good luck chickenfuckers! You’re gonna need it!
With training camp on the very near horizon, the Mariners are about to be overshadowed by the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man of sports teams, but the more they decide to play like this, the more relevant they will appear. It would be in your best interests, Mariners, to reach that .500 mark as soon as possible. With that mark comes talk of contention, where crazy, delusional folks like myself tend to make bold, idiotic proclamations. It’s summertime in Seattle, I want nothing more than to make bold, idiotic proclamations!