Be On The Lookout: Seattle City Cops To Dress As 49ers Fans At Seahawks Game

I’m more or less a pretty easy-going guy in real life.  I tend to roll with the punches pretty good when I’ve got a bunch of work dumped on me.  I like to maintain an even-keel temperament whenever inconveniences befall me.  At this early hour, there are really only a couple of things I can think of that REALLY cause me to lose my shit:  people fucking with my car in some way, and bad things happening to my favorite sports team while I’m watching the game live.

Damn Right!

Damn Right!

I don’t know if it’s a thing where I’m bottling up all my angst and finding that it releases itself in these specific instances, or if I just happen to channel it during my regular day-to-day life, only to unleash it when things go sour, but whatever the cause:  I really get worked up about these sporting events.

I don’t go to a lot of live sporting events.  Percentage-wise, I attend more Husky football games than anything else.  I’ll go to a handful of Mariners games (I would go to more if they were worth watching, i.e. “Good”), a couple of Husky basketball games, and maybe AH Seahawks game.  Of the four, I probably enjoy going to Seahawks games the least, and here’s why.

First and foremost, they are easily the most expensive tickets in town.  Even when they’re not Super Bowl favorites, you’re still paying over $100 for a shitty seat in the 300-level.  It’s bogus.  It takes FOREVER to hike all the way up there and you feel like you’re a mile away from the field.  Bottom line:  I just don’t care for the CenturyLink Field experience.  I love our stadium when I’m NOT there, but yeah.  Then, there’s the fact that the games are always on days or nights before I have to work.  I don’t necessarily need alcohol to have a good time, but I do necessarily need alcohol to tolerate thousands of other people who have spent all day drinking alcohol.  Since I work on weekdays, though, I can’t really justify getting blitzed the night before for a Seahawks game.  At least with the Huskies, they play on Saturdays, so I’ve got a full Sunday to sleep it off.

It’s why I can’t understand NFL tailgaters.  Don’t you people have JOBS?  If they drink at Seahawks tailgates like I drink at Husky tailgates (and, by all accounts, they do), I don’t see how they can function the following day.  I need a pizza and a pint of ice cream just to get my ass off the couch on Hangover Sunday.

Anyway, getting back to my original point, I tend to get upset when I go to these live sporting events.  Lots of fans are passionate about the teams they follow, so I’m not saying I’m anything special; going to these events are very visceral experiences.  The person you are in your professional life is not the person you become when you enter that stadium or that arena.

Now, for me personally, I tend to avoid conflict.  Even when I’m at a game, I’m not out there LOOKING to pick a fight.  However, that having been said, and especially when I’ve had a few bunch, when I’m at a game, I am out there looking to defend myself and my friends and my fellow fans at the slightest sign of dick-headery.

Let’s say I go to this game this Sunday (where, as you can read here, there will be cops dressed up as 49ers fans to “get” those of us who are too rowdy).  And, let’s even say that I’ve decided to blow it out with a day of drinking beforehand (which, ostensibly, are the types of people these undercover cops are trying to apprehend).  If I’m sufficiently plastered and I’m in a section with some nearby 49ers fans, I’m not going to make it my business to make their lives miserable, unless they start making mine miserable first.  I know there are jackasses out there who will mercilessly taunt opposing fans, even if they’re not doing a damn thing.  On the one hand, yeah, they’re tool-bags.  But, on the other, when you attend a game as the opposing fan, shouldn’t you expect to be given the business?

I think that’s why you always see these opposing fans more-often-than-not acting like the jackasses they are.  Clapping way too long and way too loud for a simple first down.  Constantly yelling at and taunting the home fans around them.  Being way too emphatic in their gestures because they’ve built up in their minds an experience where they have to be on edge at all times.  They WANT the hometown fans to bait them into an exchange.  To a point, it’s just good fun, especially when the tables turn and you’re able to shout them down with your own first downs.  It’s like a game, and as long as the home team wins, you’ll have the last laugh.  But, if it goes beyond that point, then you’re just distracting from the game, and what’s the point of that?

Save your fighting for the parking lot!  That’s what I’m trying to say.  Be a fan, be yourself, but if you don’t want to be verbally abused, then sit down and shut your ass up.  You’ve gone into hostile territory, so either learn to turn the other cheek, or stay home.

People in the media – fuddy-duddies and the like – will preach that we all Stay Classy Seattle.  Yeah, because football is a classy fucking affair, with your ballgowns and your top hats and such.  This ain’t the ballet!  Staying Classy is another way of saying, Be A Doormat.  Seattle sports fans already have a big enough chip on our shoulders from years of watching teams be the worst at sports.  Now that we’ve got an elite team, we’re supposed to curtsy and give opposing fans a pleasant experience?  Fuck that!  It’s not like these are human beings we’re talking about; they’re 49ers fans!  The best they deserve is our absolute contempt.

So, Seahawks fans, if you’re going to the game this weekend, be careful.  Don’t let the PC Police win.  Don’t cross the line and get yourselves kicked out.  That just helps the 49ers dummies, and we wouldn’t want that.

Also, if you manage to sneak alcohol in, go to a bathroom stall to pour it into your soda.  I can’t tell you how many times that little move has saved me dozens of dollars on in-stadium alcohol prices.

1 thought on “Be On The Lookout: Seattle City Cops To Dress As 49ers Fans At Seahawks Game

  1. Pingback: 6 Down, 17 To Go: The 49ers Are A Bunch Of Dildos | Seattle Sports Hell

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