Mariners Hire Lloyd McClendon, Seattle Sports World Goes Right On Not Giving A Shit

Lloyd McClendon has been the hitting coach for a successful Detroit Tigers team for many a moon.  Prior to that, he was the manager for a terrible Pittsburgh Pirates team for fewer moons.  Prior to that, I guess he was a Major League baseball player, mostly a backup/utility-type guy.  All I can say is:  at least we’re not getting another fucking former catcher.

Seriously?  What’s with all the catchers?  What makes a shitty, no-hitting catcher so qualified to manage baseball teams?  Not for nothing, but wouldn’t you want a guy who was successful at being a baseball player?  I dunno.  It probably doesn’t matter.  But, if you insist on going the former-player route, you might as well go with someone good.

I have no opinion on the Lloyd McClendon hire, just like I had no opinion on the Eric Wedge hire, just like I probably had no opinion on the … whoever the hell it was before Wedge.  Wak?  There was someone in between for a few months, right?  I dunno, who can keep track?  More importantly, who WANTS to keep track?  These are the Mariners!  By the time you finish that there cigarette, it’ll be time for the Mariners to hire a new one!

Honestly – and I know most people probably won’t give a shit about this – the most important aspect of the Mariners hiring McClendon isn’t his track record of working with great hitters, nor is it his experience handling a young, inexperienced ballclub.  No, the most important thing is the fact that he is one of, like what, three black baseball managers currently in the game?  I’m not saying that makes him qualified, or that he will be any GOOD, but I’m just sayin’.  It’s something.  Good for the Mariners.  Who knows, maybe it’ll buy us some karma points.

Like I said, I can’t get too excited about this.  Have you seen our players?  Have you seen our upper management?  Have you seen this team over the past decade?  Lloyd McClendon could be the second-coming of … whoever was the best baseball manager in the history of the universe, and we’d still finish somewhere below .500.  Or, we’ll throw away all of our young prospects in a feeble attempt to win now and STILL finish somewhere below .500.

I’ll tell you one thing, though.  Those Mariners commercial guys are going to have a field day with that incident where McClendon walked away with a base after being ejected by an umpire.  And, at least we should have some exciting, heated arguments to look forward to the next time Felix gets squeezed by the strike zone; a little McClendon/C.B. Bucknor action!  Who doesn’t love a good managerial tirade?

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