I missed the entirety of last night’s game. When I went to bed, the Mariners were down by the score of 2-1, but I didn’t watch any of the first few innings either. If I’m being perfectly honest, watching a bunch of old episodes of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia was more appealing than trying to get myself interested in a Mariners game against the Angels. Two teams, 4 games under .500 coming into the evening, battling it out for sole possession of second place in the A.L. West. That’s got Yawn written all over it.
I’ll be the first one to admit it, I don’t have the same juice that I had even a year ago. I can’t remember the last time I saw a full game that I didn’t also attend in person. I REALLY can’t remember the last time I saw a full game that I didn’t also attend in person that didn’t in some way feature Felix Hernandez on the mound. And I wonder if I’m slowly going the way of the casual, fair-weather fan.
I read an article on Joss Whedon quitting Twitter. Don’t ask me why; I’m not a particular fan of his work, nor was I a follower of his. But, he said something interesting that struck a chord; he said, “When you keep doing something after it stops giving you pleasure, that’s kind of rock bottom for an addict.” That’s the absolute epitome of being an addict, expecially of hard drugs like heroin. At first, it feels like the best thing ever. So, you continue to do it. By the time you realize that you feel nothing after having done it, that’s when you know you’re doing it just to not feel shitty all the time.
Watching the Seattle Mariners used to give me great pleasure. I’d ride the highs by jumping around and cheering like a maniac. I’d suffer the lows by swearing my face off and throwing things. Every year – even over this last decade – I’d legitimately get myself all in a lather about our chances at contending. And, every year, I’d have to suffer the season falling through our grasp. Sometimes it happened in late May, sometimes it happened in late September. But always with the crushing realization that we’d once again failed to make the playoffs.
2003 was the last time the Mariners won over 90 games. Since that year, there have been three other winning seasons. In 2007, the Mariners won 88 games. In response to that, the Mariners went out and signed Carlos Silva and traded for Erik Bedard. We were really going to make a push for the post-season based on all the promise we’d just experienced. In 2008, the Mariners lost 101 games and everyone was fired. In 2009, somehow the Mariners won another 85 games. In response to that, the Mariners went out and signed Chone Figgins and traded for Cliff Lee. THIS TIME, we’d do it right! In 2010, the Mariners once again lost 101 games.
In 2014, the Mariners won 87 games. In response to that, the Mariners went out and signed Nelson Cruz and traded for J.A. Happ. The Mariners right now are 11-16 and well on their way to another 101-loss season.
All the things we should’ve seen coming – and indeed a lot of the things we DID see coming – have come. Our young starters have been spotty. Our bullpen – after an insanely great 2014 – has regressed terribly. Our young hitters are struggling, no one is getting on base, and when they do, no one is really hitting with runners in scoring position. We overlooked all of this going into the season, because all we could see was an 87-win squad from 2014, largely unchanged, with the addition of the big bopper we’d been sorely lacking. And, with that bopper actually producing … we’ve still managed to be far worse.
Aside from Felix, this is a hard team to watch. You could say that about any of the Mariners teams since he came into the league – and indeed, I HAVE been saying that for as far back as I can remember – but I’ll tell you this much: even in our worst years, I still watched a higher percentage of Mariners games than I’ve bothered with this year. Why sit through something when you know they’re just going to find a way to lose? When you wake up insanely early like I do every day, it REALLY has to be worth your while to want to stay up until 10pm or later. And, for the most part this season, I just haven’t had it in me. I’d rather catch up on some sleep than watch this Mariners season die by a thousand papercuts.
Baseball has never really had a super strong hold on me. It was always a sport growing up that I’d rather play in my backyard than watch on TV. I’ve always said I’m not a baseball fan, I’m a Mariners fan. Nothing has changed in that regard. I’m still a Mariners fan, I suppose. But, my desire to follow the team as closely – on television or in print – is waning considerably.
At this point, until the Mariners seriously start to turn this around, I’m a Felix fan. Until further notice, I’ll be watching every fifth day. This team is going to have to work at it to get me back, because I refuse to get my hopes up again for another losing season.