14-14. That was the Mariners’ record for the month of May. Sometime last week – I want to say it was before the Cleveland series – a bunch of clever media types were Tweeting about how the Mariners had the same record this time last year, as if that were some big prize. What, exactly, about the 2014 season was a success? The fact that we didn’t make the playoffs yet again? That part about how the offense was just a small tick above totally embarrassing? What the FUCK do I care about how the Mariners were doing last year, when last year isn’t the objective? Just because the 2014 Mariners had a couple hot months doesn’t mean the 2015 Mariners are going to suddenly spring to life.
So far, over 50 games, the Mariners are two games under .500, at 24-26. That feels appropriate to me. This is a .500 baseball team; let’s not kid ourselves. They’ve put all their cards on the table in these first 50 games; all sizzle and no steak. Solo homers for days, but a terrible on-base percentage. Good starting pitching, if only they could stay healthy. Key bullpen guys not living up to their 2014 reputations. And the key to all of this: no help on the horizon.
The guys we have need to play better for the Mariners to win more often. It’s as simple as that. We’re two months in and it’s the same broken record for this team. Now, we’ve got at least a month without Paxton, probably two. This is the part of that Simpsons episode where Bart’s going to lose Santa’s Little Helper if he doesn’t pass obedience school, except the dog won’t learn and Bart’s going crazy with frustration until finally Lisa suggests spending what little time he has left with the dog playing and running around. There’s no point in getting angry with the Mariners because they can’t hit. They never could! Just sit back, let the season wash over you, and enjoy what time you’ve got left before they ultimately fail to make the playoffs yet again.