Steve Cishek Fucking Sucks

And don’t give me any lefty/righty shit, he’s been bombed against batters hitting from both sides of the plate.  He fucking sucks, and he needs to be off this team before 2017.

This has everything to do with locating pitches, and Cishek sucks dick at that aspect of pitching.  Just because he throws sidearm, he seems to think it’s okay to lob sliders right down the middle of the fucking plate.  That is, of course, when he’s not throwing them off the plate, outside of the catcher’s grasp, behind the left-handed batter’s box, and into the fucking stands because he can’t control for shit!  Or, when he’s not throwing his oh so intimidating fastball.  You know, the one where he has NO FUCKING CLUE where it’s going to end up once it leaves his hands.  (here’s a hint:  it’s going to end up IN THE FUCKING BLEACHERS, YOU ASS CLOWN!)

You thought Fernando Rodney was bad?  He was fucking Mariano Rivera compared to Cishek.

Hey Steve Cishek, maybe instead of sucking Jesus’ dick on Twitter all day every day, how about you learn how to control your fucking pitches?  Your God schtick can eat my asshole; no one gives a fuck!  Pray for no more blown saves.  Make that your prayer of the day, you fucking miserable cunt.

Edwin Diaz needs to be the closer, starting to-fucking-day.  Cishek needs to be put on waivers.  If someone claims him, then fuck it, good riddance.  If no one claims him and we have to eat his salary, then fuck it, it’s only money and the Mariners own the fucking network they televise on, THEY’LL SURVIVE!

You want to improve the fan experience?  Kick Steve Cishek’s worthless ass off the team and find literally anyone else who has an arm capable of throwing a ball.  He will be less enraging than our former closer.

4 thoughts on “Steve Cishek Fucking Sucks

  1. He just blew the last chance….. BOOM Stick ties it up then he gives it away. I was at opening day and hated him since then. POS! Release him at once!

  2. Now he’s with the Cubs, and we have to deal with his ass. Tonight he came up in the bottom of the 10th in a very important game. He gave up a single, and then walked three in a row to give up a walk off walk. I almost couldn’t force myself to listen. I just kept wishing Joe Maddon would take him out, but instead, Cishek finished the game with something like 7 straight balls.

    On a side note, it’s not surprising that he’s religious. Religious and Incompetent seem to go hand in hand. Grow up and take responsibility for your life. Enough of the childish fantasies of an invisible judge in the sky that hates abortion, but hands out miscarriages like they’re candy. Read the bible (which religious people almost never do), and see what a crazy piece of crap it is, then go back to the drawing board on your pitching.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *