In my ongoing series of A Week Late Mariners Transactions, I present to you a trade with the San Francisco Giants.  Part of me is surprised that the Player To Be Named Later hasn’t already been announced, since this deal is so old it can do whatever a week-old person can do.  Drool, I guess.

Who is Chris Heston?  Exactly.  He was a rookie starter for the Giants in 2015, making 31 starts, and apparently threw a no-hitter against the Mets that year.  If you look at his 2015 numbers from April through July, I think you’d come away pretty impressed with Heston (for a rookie).  He went 6 or more innings 13 times out of his first 20 starts.  Then, he apparently hit a wall in August and September, with his overall performance really falling apart, going 6 innings or more only once in his final 11 starts.

Then, in 2016, thanks to an apparently-deep rotation, Heston spent the vast majority of the year in the minors.  He made 14 pretty pedestrian starts in AAA, and now he’s here, in another Jerry Dipoto-esque trade for a guy who was really good recently, but is hoping for a bounce-back year.

I guess throw Heston in the mix with Karns, Miranda, and Whalen for one of the final rotations spots behind Felix, Kuma, and Paxton.  I say “one” of the final rotation spots because if we’re forced to go with two of those guys to fill the final two spots, we’re in deep doo-doo.  Thankfully, the Mariners are still in the market for another veteran starter, likely an “innings-eater”, so someone who most likely won’t get anyone’s dick hard.

I can already see myself endlessly complaining about the starting pitching on this team all damn season long.  Who’s looking forward to another frustrating around-.500 finish?  I know I’m not!

Meanwhile, the Sounders won the MLS Cup, the Huskies are in the College Football Playoffs, and we’re all still wallowing in the afterglow of the 2013 Seahawks’ Super Bowl victory.  You keep trying hard, Mariners!  I’ll do my best to continue giving a damn!