Alternate title:  The Mariners Won A Baseball Game By Scoring More Runs Than Their Opponent

They bumped the series finale against the Nationals up to the early morning Pacific time so they could avoid an impending rainstorm and get the whole game in.  While most of us were hoping for a rainout, if for no other reason than to stave off another defeat, the Mariners shocked the world by being semi-competent.

Ariel Miranda managed a workmanlike 5 innings, giving up 2 runs in that fifth to give the Nationals a 2-0 lead.  In the top of the sixth, Nelson Cruz jacked a 3-run home run to give the Mariners a lead, and Scott Servais proceeded to stop fucking around.  He went immediately to our good bullpen guys in hopes of locking down the first Mariners victory in a week.

Zych worked a scoreless sixth, Pazos worked a scoreless seventh, Vincent & Scrabble worked a scoreless eighth, and Edwin Diaz reclaimed his closing duties on the strength of TWO WHOLE ADEQUATE PERFORMANCES, and somewhere in there the Mariners added an insurance run to give the Mariners a 4-2 victory.

The top of the order really did the heavy lifting in this one.  Segura had a couple hits and a run; Cano had two more hits, an RBI, and a run; Cruz (getting his second start in right field) had the aforementioned 3-run homer; and Seager and Valencia each had a hit to round it out.

There are no take-aways from this one.  The Mariners got a win in a game featuring their best healthy starting pitcher; it’s as simple as that.  This isn’t the start of a great turnaround, it’s just a random win, because in baseball it’s impossible to literally lose every single game.  Hell, even Charlie Brown’s team had a win or two!

The Mariners are still a game out of last place (tied in the loss column) in the entire American League, five games out of the second Wild Card, and 11 games behind the Astros in the A.L. West.

In a shocking development, the Mariners went a whole day without making a Big League roster move, so that’s something.  With all these injuries and shuttling of players, it feels like we’re just wrapping up our fourth month of Spring Training for Christ’s sake.

This weekend, the Mariners go to Boston for three games.  It would be nice to pick up some games on the team that’s currently holding the second Wild Card spot, but wish in one hand and shit in the other, you know?  I just hope no other important people go on the DL between now and Monday.

On the Mike Zunino front, in his three games since being called back up from Tacoma, he has one hit (a homer) and 7 strikeouts in 11 at bats.  I just … I could NOT be more disappointed.  Y U MAKE ME LONG FOR THE RETURN OF TUFFY???