The Bitterly-Disappointing Seattle Sports Hell Power Rankings

I have absolutely nothing to say up here, so let’s jump right into the rankings.

  • Philadelphia (8-1)
  • New England (6-2)
  • Pittsburgh (6-2)
  • L.A. Rams (6-2)
  • New Orleans (6-2)
  • Dallas (5-3)
  • Kansas City (6-3)
  • Minnesota (6-2)

A lot of shuffling of teams who were on a BYE this week.  While the Rams may or may not be the real deal, they have almost the exact same schedule as the Seahawks, and they’re playing a helluva lot better.  Dallas is certainly taking charge, though again, we’ll see if Elliott gets re-re-re-re-re-suspended, and what that means for their consistency.  The Vikings feel pretty good to me, but no where near a Super Bowl-calibre team.

  • Seattle (5-3)
  • Detroit (4-4)
  • Washington (4-4)
  • Carolina (6-3)
  • Buffalo (5-3)
  • Tennessee (5-3)
  • Jacksonville (5-3)
  • Oakland (4-5)

I can’t rank the Seahawks behind the Redskins; WE’RE BETTER THAN THEM!  They didn’t beat the Seahawks, the Seahawks beat the Seahawks (and they tend to do that a lot).  Detroit could be poised to go on a nice little second-half run, if they can take down the Vikings a second time.  I’m not so much a believer in Carolina because I’m not so much a believer in Cam Newton.  Starting to really come around on that Jacksonville defense though.  Don’t let me down, Oakland.  I feel like putting the Raiders in the top half is a stretch, and more leap of faith than anything else.

  • Atlanta (4-4)
  • N.Y. Jets (4-5)
  • L.A. Chargers (3-5)
  • Baltimore (4-5)
  • Denver (3-5)
  • Miami (4-4)
  • Arizona (4-4)
  • Indianapolis (3-6)

These are the teams that are boring as fuck to watch.  So, yay to this week’s Seattle/Arizona Thursday Night game, I guess.  Part of me wishes the Colts would just fire their coaching staff already.  I feel like Chuck Pagano would be better served in an organization that knew what the fuck it was doing.  Like the Steelers, or the Packers or something.  I mean, almost any other coach with that Colts team is probably winless right now.

  • Chicago (3-5)
  • Houston (3-5)
  • Tampa Bay (2-6)
  • Cincinnati (3-5)
  • Green Bay (4-4)
  • N.Y. Giants (1-7)
  • San Francisco (0-9)
  • Cleveland (0-8)

Lotta teams no one expected to be in this group (Houston, Tampa, Cincy, Green Bay, Giants).  The 49ers are secretly turning into my worst nightmare:  a young, talented team, tanking this year, though they just traded for a potential franchise QB, and they’re almost guaranteed to get another Top 5 draft pick in 2018.  They are going to be SCARY in 2-3 years (maybe as early as NEXT year)!  Cleveland is the opposite of that.  Though, let’s be real, they probably dodged a huge bullet in not pulling off that A.J. McCarron deal.  If that guy isn’t a dud, then my name isn’t Steven A. Taylor.

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