Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team: Playoffs Consolation Game

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And just like that, my season’s over.  All that’s left is to figure out the draft order for next year.  Since I’m officially in the 3rd place game, the highest I’ll be drafting next year is 7th, and that’s if I beat one of the two best teams in the league this week, who improbably lost in the semi-finals along with me.

I couldn’t have asked for a better matchup.  I was playing the consensus Best Team In The League (i.e. “Whatever Team Has Patrick Mahomes 2018”) and he ended up having his 3rd-worst week of the season, with a total of 158.10 points.  For your reference, he AVERAGES 183.30, so this is quite a dip from his normal production.  He got under 10 from JuJu Smith-Schuster, under 1 from an injured Aaron Jones, and under 10 from George Kittle; along with some pedestrian numbers across the board from his elite QBs and other studs.  A late insertion of Marlon Mack into his FLEX got him 25.90 points and hurt my chances quite a bit.

But, I mean, this is all on King Flippy Nips.  My team has been a JOKE over the last three weeks, and I only advanced this far thanks to my opponent last week suffering a slew of injuries.

True, I had injury issues of my own.  Nick Foles – in place of the lost Carson Wentz – got me an even 10 points.  I smartly benched Jameis Winston (who had less than 4 points against the Ravens), but Derek Carr did dick against the Bengals.

Ultimately, the reason why I lost boils down to two of my best skill guys:  Tyreek Hill and Adam Thielen.  It sucks, because those guys are BIG reasons why my team was as good as it was!  But, they got me 8.10 and 3.90 points respectively when it mattered most, and that was all she wrote.  I had monster games out of Chris Carson and Ezekiel Elliott, Robert Woods and the Chicago defense did good-enough.  But, my team scored 131.45 points in just a DREADFUL playoff effort.  And, so now I’m left to fight for a slightly-better draft spot.

I would’ve lost to all but the very worst of the Consolation Bracket teams this week, so it’s not like my playoff seeding even mattered.  Indeed, had I been excluded from the playoffs this year, I’d be in the Consolation Bracket Championship Game, playing for a #1 overall spot in the draft next year.  So, I have that to dwell upon all off-season.

I guess I’m relieved it’s all finally over.  I don’t have to sit around anxiously all day and night Sunday through Tuesday.  I can finally watch the Seahawks and the rest of the NFL games in peace.  But, it’s yet another year with my name NOT on the league’s championship trophy.  I like my friends an awful lot, but I have no trouble telling you that I deserve that honor more than the lot of them combined!

Why, you ask?  Fuck you, that’s why!  I want it!  That’s enough.

Here’s my final week lineup:

  • QB1 – Jameis Winston @ DAL
  • QB2 – Derek Carr vs. DEN
  • WR1 – Tyreek Hill @ SEA
  • WR2 – Adam Thielen @ DET
  • RB1 – Ezekiel Elliott vs. TB
  • RB2 – Chris Carson vs. KC
  • TE – Cameron Brate @ DAL
  • FLEX – Robert Woods @ AZ
  • K – Ryan Succop vs. WAS
  • DEF – Chicago @ SF

My bench is:  Kerryon Johnson, Boyd, Adams, Foles, Wentz, Bell (IR).

No point in making a bunch of moves when your season is over.  I dropped the Pittsburgh tight end because I don’t trust any offensive player against the Saints’ defense.  Brate seems … good enough.  As for the pickup of Kerryon Johnson – who just hit the IR – that’s more of a nab for the future.  I don’t know how the rules are going to change in this league, or how many keepers we’re going to be allowed next year, so I might as well take a flier on someone who could be a stud next year.  I wasn’t going to use Adrian Peterson anyway, and I doubt anyone in the championship game will care if he’s out there.  Plus, his existence on the waiver wire really isn’t my problem.

Depending on who drops what, I might make a waiver claim between now and the weekend, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

This week’s opponent is the immortal Korky Butchek.  He’s got a very good team who has, for whatever reason, underachieved in recent weeks.  I’m sure he’ll beat me, so I better get used to drafting 8th next year.

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