I just don’t know how you trust this team, you know? The Seahawks have been flying by the seat of their pants on a crazy-unsustainable amount of luck, and yet they still managed to disappoint somehow. The Seahawks should be the 3-seed; they should’ve beaten the 49ers last week. They failed to do so, and that’s ultimately going to be their downfall.

As predicted, everyone is trying to spin this off as a good thing: going to Philadelphia vs. playing at home against the Vikings. Sure, the Eagles are the inferior of the two opponents, but the Vikings are trash, Kirk Cousins is this generation’s Tony Romo (the guy who never won the big one, but whose stats are always going to have him in the conversation among Top 10 QBs in any given season), and I’ll take a home game over a road game any day of the week. Don’t give me this crap about the Seahawks being 7-1 on the road! They’re also 10-2 in one-score games, and as in all things, it’ll even out in the end.

I said this before and I’ll say it again, the most important thing about winning the NFC West wasn’t necessarily hosting a game in Wild Card weekend, but it was pushing the 49ers down to the 5-seed, as they would’ve been highly likely to prevail in the Divisional Round, thereby giving us a chance to possibly host the NFC Championship Game. Or, failing that, then the 49ers could’ve lost in the Divisional Round, and that’s probably the best team in the NFC out of your hair entirely!

Instead, not only do we have to go on the road for the entirety of the playoffs, but our very next game is almost certainly going to be against those very same 49ers, who will be healthy and rested and everything I’ve already talked about ad nauseam.

That’s actually the best-case scenario for this season. The worst-case scenario is losing this weekend to those Eagles, and I’m here to tell you it’s not only on the table, but it’s piping hot and ready to be served.

I mean, sure, we can point to their 9-7 record and laugh and laugh, but as this Ringer article succinctly points out, these terrible division winners tend to win more playoff games than they lose (including our very own Seahawks, on two separate occasions this century!). Yes, the Eagles are banged up, but their guys are starting to come back, and since this is the playoffs, anyone who’s able to walk will be playing this week. Carson Wentz isn’t on the same plain as Mahomes or Wilson or Lamar Jackson, but he’s gutty. He’s a winner. He’ll come through in the clutch more often than not.

These Eagles, under Doug Pederson, also have a terrific playoff record, particularly as underdogs with their backs against the wall. They’re the epitome of the Nobody Believed In Us team.

So, let’s break it down.

Defensively, the Seahawks gave up the 7th most yards; the Eagles gave up the 10th fewest. The Eagles are particularly great against the run, giving up the third fewest rushing yards per game at 90.1. It’s translated to the Eagles giving up 22.1 points per game vs. Seattle’s 24.9.

The Eagles also give up the fourth-fewest third down conversions at 34.2%; the Seahawks are in the middle of the pack at 38.4%. The Seahawks’ defense generated the second-fewest sacks in the NFL at 28 (tied with the Falcons and Lions, only 5 more than the bottom-feeding Dolphins); the Eagles are in the middle of the pack with 43.

With the game being in their home stadium, with their crazy fans going wild, give the defensive edge to the Eagles by a wide margin.

Offensively, the Seahawks were 8th in yards, the Eagles 14th. The Eagles were marginally better in passing yards, but they also threw it almost 100 more times than the Seahawks. The Seahawks really shined rushing the ball, 4th in the NFL; but the Eagles weren’t too bad either, at 11th. Considering their defensive strength is stopping the run, while our defensive strength is absolutely nothing, I don’t know if you can even give the Seahawks the edge in the running game.

You could MAYBE give the Seahawks the edge in the passing game, but the Eagles’ secondary is starting to get healthy. And, while both teams have significant injuries at their skill positions, the Eagles still have two great tight ends, which just so happens to be one of the Seahawks’ weakest spots to defend in the passing game. If anything, I’d give a SLIGHT edge to the Seahawks (because Russell Wilson), but if anything I’m leaning towards even.

I’d say the kicking game is remarkably closer than I expected, with a slight edge to the Seahawks in the punting game.

So, with all of these matchups going away from the Seahawks, why should I expect us to win this game? Because we have 2 more wins? You mean those two games where somewhat reliable kickers missed game-winning field goals at the end? We’re banking all of this confidence on two flukey kicks?

You know what happens if the Seahawks lose those two games (to the Rams and 49ers) like we probably should have? We’re currently sitting at home watching the Rams play in our spot! So, don’t tell me the Seahawks are definitely way better than the Eagles, because we’re not.

That doesn’t mean I think it’s going to be a blowout. Like most Seahawks games, this will be within one score by the end. And, in that case, there’s a CHANCE the Seahawks could prevail, if things break right, and if we can squeeze a little more luck out of this season.

Realistically, though, we need Jadeveon Clowney to play (he has yet to practice this week) and play well. We need Quandre Diggs to return from an ankle sprain and play well. We need Shaquill Griffin to play considerably better than he did last week. We need someone to step up for Mychal Kendricks. Ideally, Ziggy Ansah will finally step up and reveal himself.

And that’s all just to keep us in it! If one or more things break down in that previous paragraph, it wouldn’t shock me in the slightest to see the Seahawks lose by a couple scores.

Offensively, we have to try to find a running game against a stout rushing defense. We need to get this offense to do literally ANYTHING in the first half, so we’re not in a huge hole by halftime. That means playcalling needs to improve, our scheme coming into this game needs to be top notch, and our offensive line needs to figure out a way to give Russell Wilson a few seconds to throw the fucking ball!

I don’t have high hopes at all for this game. I’ll watch. I’ll gut it out to the bitter end. But, I’m not excited. If anything, even if the Seahawks win, it’s just delaying the inevitable. If we don’t lose this week, we’ll DEFINITELY lose next week, so what’s the point? I’d almost rather pick a few spots higher in the 2020 draft, all things considered.

The 49ers are better, the Saints are better, the Packers are probably better, and this weekend I believe the Eagles will show they’re better. On their own field, anyway. Reverse it and I think the Seahawks get the job done, but that’s not our lot in life, because we blew the division once again.

Not a gread headspace to go into the NFL playoffs.