I don’t think any of the things I’m about to talk about will move the needle in any significant way – in your interest-level of the 2020 Seahawks, or in actual game-impact – but stuff happened and I feel compelled to talk about when stuff happens (considering how little stuff has been happening of late).

Neiko Thorpe. How does that guy float your boat? When you lead off a post about a guy who plays almost-exclusively on Special Teams (and not even as a return man, but just a guy who stops opposing return men sometimes), I should think that lowers your expectations in a hurry that we’re going to be discussing anyone of actual import. I like Neiko Thorpe! Don’t get me wrong here, guys like him have value. He does a lot of the dirty work and he does it quite well. There are so many little hidden plays on Special Teams that don’t really get the credit they deserve, that you can get a lot of impact from a guy like Thorpe without having to spend a lot of money.

But, also, like, his next tackle will be his 100th (in what will be his eighth season). If you just look at his stat sheet, you’ll see that his biggest contribution there – to the Seahawks anyway – are the three fumble recoveries he’s collected in his four seasons here. Also, not for nothing, but the number of games he’s been healthy for has gone down every year he’s been here (he played in a career-low seven games in 2019). With Thorpe, you’re looking for consistency. But, he brings nothing to the table defensively, and ideally I think you’d like to fill that roster spot with someone who’s not ONLY a standout on Special Teams, but someone who can contribute in some sort of meaningful way – at least on a rotational basis – in some of the nickel or dime packages.

Working my way down the list of Seahawks moves, they rescinded the Exclusive Rights Free Agent tender to Malik Turner. You might remember Malik Turner as the receiver who dropped the WIDE OPEN would-be first down throw late in the NFC Divisional Round game in Green Bay. I’m not saying he single-handedly cost us a chance to advance, but I’ll go ahead and let you finish this sentence for yourself.

Word has trickled in that the Seahawks might still be interested in keeping Turner, but not necessarily guaranteeing him the money he’d get as an ERFA-tendered player (what little that is, anyway). This is similar to what they did with Jordan Simmons, though with Simmons the concern was more injury-related. Turner just might not be good! Also, this rookie draft class looks to be STACKED with talent at wide receiver. Tyler Lockett, D.K. Metcalf, David Moore, and Phillip Dorsett are all virtual locks to make the team (barring something completely out-of-the-blue); so there just might not be any room at the inn for ol’ Turner (especially if we use one of our top two or three draft picks on yet another stud receiver). Therefore, guaranteeing Turner ANYTHING seems idiotic, and you wonder why we even tendered him in the first place (you also wonder why he hadn’t signed his tender yet, but maybe that’s normal).

Finally, I guess the Seahawks are just going to sign every single middling interior offensive lineman NFL free agency has to offer? If you thought they were done after tendering Joey Hunt, signing B.J. Finney, Chance Warmack, Brandon Shell, Cedric Ogbuehi, and bringing back Jordan Simmons (on top of the holdovers we’ve got, like Jamarco Jones, Ethan Pocic, Phil Haynes, and still-future-cap-casualty Justin Britt), then apparently you’re nuts, because not only CAN’T the Seahawks stop, but for some reason they also WON’T stop. It’s really something; someone should call a doctor.

Mike Iupati is back! If he’s back, then that means he’s in the running to continue starting at left guard. If that’s the case, then you figure he has to be the frontrunner at that spot, because he started for us last year, he’s a solid long-time veteran, and he’s got a history of great success in this league. So, if he’s the frontrunner, then WHAT THE FUCK are we doing with all of these other guys we brought in?!

This tells me that there will be multiple significant cuts along the offensive line, not just Britt. There could be a real surprise release somewhere in the mix (I’m looking at D.J. Fluker, if I’m being honest), which makes me wonder – of all these O-Line contracts we’ve handed out this offseason – how many of them are fully guaranteed? Which of these guys are camp fodder being thrown into the mix as “competition”, but probably don’t have a realistic chance to win a starting job or even make the team?

The move I understand probably the least is Joey Hunt. He’s making a little over $2 million this year on his original round (sixth) tender. He took over at center for Britt last year and was Good Enough. In all honesty, as a sixth round draft pick, I think we’ve managed to squeeze the most possible value out of someone with his size and skillset. He’s youngish, he’s stayed relatively healthy in his career, he’s shown real toughness and grit in dealing with some of the fiercest defensive tackles in football; at around $2 million, I’m happy spending that amount of money on someone who’s going to be my starting center. But, if he’s going to be in a dogfight with three or four other guys, and ends up losing out to someone like Finney or Pocic or even Haynes, then $2 million is kind of a lot of money to spend on a backup (especially with how tight up against the salary cap the Seahawks are every single year).

We’ll see, I guess! Ours is not to reason why and all that.