The Seahawks Drafted Jordyn Brooks, Yes In The First Round

I know, I know, let’s get it all out of our systems.

HAHA! SEE, THEY DID DRAFT IN THE FIRST ROUND, AT PICK 27, YOU STUPID FOOL!!!

Look, I’ll be the first to admit when I’m completely incapable of giving a shit wrong, but what can I say? The logic was sound. Indeed, the team even admitted they HAD a tentative agreement to trade back with the Packers in place, who apparently “got a better deal” from the Dolphins, one spot ahead of us. The Dolphins, in turn, got a fourth round pick to move back four spots, which isn’t a ton, but would’ve fit nicely in between our two fourth rounders (plus, you have to figure Brooks still would’ve been there for us at 30).

Oh, were you expecting a defensive end? Were you holding out hope for one of these stud receivers? Had you resigned yourself to taking the first running back off the board (but were secretly titillated deep down, because you know how much this team loves to run the football and you desire the rage that builds from a dark place whenever teams over-value the running back position)?

Were you like me and thought, “They just signed Bobby Wagner to this huge extension that they can’t get out from under for probably another two years, so there’s NO WAY IN HELL they’d ostensibly select his successor with their first overall pick!”? Look, as the t-shirt says at the end of Bad Santa, shit happens when you party naked. This quarantine has affected us all in unique and special ways.

I don’t know anything about Jordyn Brooks, other than he spells his name annoyingly. His name sounds like he’s one of the Mean Girls. The comparison we’re all lazily going to attribute to him is “he’s the next Bobby Wagner”, so CONGRATS Seahawks fans! We just drafted a 5-time first-team All Pro! That’s what that means, right? We can clap our hands and call it a day!

Meanwhile … what do we do with the 5-time first-team All Pro we’ve currently got on the roster?

Who knows? Obviously, it’s too early, so speculation can go a hundred different ways. The natural inclination is to assume K.J. Wright will be cut, but as everyone talked about ad nauseam, he earned a $1 million roster bonus last month; if they were going to cut him, wouldn’t they have done so BEFOREHAND? I don’t think NFL teams are in the business of giving out money to be nice. They could theoretically try to renegotiate with Wright, but I’m leaning more towards the team keeping him on and having Brooks learn from behind two of the best (and, obviously, step into whatever role opens up if either of them gets injured).

This is also interesting from a Cody Barton perspective, which I don’t know if people are really too focused on at the moment. This selection would clearly indicate that Barton is not a serious candidate to ever replace Wagner, and in the shorter term, I doubt he’s even in the plans to replace Wright at weak-side linebacker. Which – elementary my dear Watson – means Barton’s destiny appears to be at the strong-side linebacker spot (which Bruce Irvin owns for 2020).

Clarity is a thing most fans strive for, but in the real world it’s just not realistic. There are so many variables, so many things outside of our control; all you can do is give yourself the tools to succeed and try to set yourself up as well as possible to weather any storms that come your way. The Seahawks know this as much as any team in the league. You can’t go chasing waterfalls holes to plug in the dike, because inevitably more and more holes pop up just as soon as you’ve plugged the last one. Inevitably, this game of Whac-A-Mole is a losing proposition, because in your haste to fill those perceived holes, you’re passing on better players at positions of relative strength. I think that’s what we’ve got to hope for here. There were three defensive linemen already off the board (in what wasn’t considered to be a tremendously-great D-Line class) plus any number of pass-rushing linebackers taken; was the drop-off in pass-rushing talent steeper than it was at coverage linebacker?

That’s the hope, for us as fans, anyway. I seemingly remember trying to make a similar argument to talk myself into when we drafted Christine Michael (another Mean Girl maybe?), and we all know how that turned out. Draft at a position of strength – really adhering to that Best Player Available credo – and enjoy the spoils of untold riches at one spot on the team at the very least. Or, wipe your ass with the first pick of your draft, on a guy who will never make an impact because he’s blocked by clearly-superior veterans.

Apparently, the Seahawks treat every NFL Draft like they’re making waffles. You know how the first waffle sucks balls because the iron isn’t warmed up enough, so it comes out limp and undercooked; you throw that waffle away because you know the rest of them will be dark and crisp and delicious. Well, the Seahawks just need to pick a guy first – regardless of who it is – so they can be tossed in the garbage.

Stay tuned for Day Two of the NFL Draft, where the Seahawks will be making waffles that are scrumptious as a motherfucker!

Or, shit, maybe the next few picks will be Quarterback, Punter, and Radio Announcer; really lean into drafting guys at spots we’re already proficient in.

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