I love the name of Seattle’s new NHL team! I love any team name that doesn’t end in ‘s’, I love how fucking weird it is, and I love that it’s inspiring really strong reactions one way or another. You either love it or hate it, and I’m FOR THAT!

Is it dumb? You betcha! But, it’s also cool as fuck, and I won’t hear otherwise!

I’m also a big fan of the color scheme. Dark blue and light blue – TWO BLUES! – with just a little bit of red (and, presumably white for the road uniforms). No green, which I’m fine with, since we have the Sounders and those insufferable alternate jerseys for the Seahawks and Mariners.

I didn’t love the Sockeyes. I didn’t want the Emeralds or Evergreens. Seals and sea lions and some of the other animals indigenous to the Pacific Northwest are just, I dunno, boring? Lame? We already have the Seahawks, so I didn’t want another bird name. I honestly did like the name Totems because I thought it sounded cool to say, but come on, what kind of mascot is that? Some top-heavy, awkward piece of Native American artwork lumbering around on the ice? Plus, again the Seahawks’ logo features a bird that’s generally found on many totem poles.

Seattle professional sports teams have weird, unique names/mascots. The Supersonics? What’s that? The Seahawks? Mariners are just drunken men of the sea. And, let us not forget our beloved XFL Dragons! Why wouldn’t the Kraken fit right in?

I’m so happy I could burst! In my old age – pushing past the 40-year old barrier in less than eight months – I was resigned to the fact that I would be annoyed by whatever the franchise chose. I never in my wildest dreams thought they would ACTUALLY go with the Kraken! I thought, “Oh, there’s a funny name to get some people worked up, before they ultimately choose something safe and ordinary.” But, how wrong I was!

Let the rest of the NHL world laugh at us and mock us! They won’t be laughing when we’re hoisting the first of many multiple Stanley Cup Trophies! At least one for every tentacle within the first decade of existence. That’s not too unreasonable!