Yesterday, first the Big 10, then the Pac-12 announced they’re canceling fall sports. I blame myself and I blame all of you.

I mean, clearly, no one is taking this virus seriously enough. Granted, some people are more reckless than others, but no one is doing enough and it starts at the very top (with asshole politicians who politicize a health issue rather than do everything within their power to quell this thing) and trickles all the way down (to the people who keep going to parties and motorcycle rallies and otherwise believe this is some elaborate hoax or whatever the fuck). I’m just fed the fuck up with everyone and I can’t wait until the country rushes out a vaccine that’s only partially effective and that a significant portion of the population won’t want to take anyway because who in their right mind would trust this government to do ANYTHING in the peoples’ best interests? If there was some way to charge everyone $100 and make them get a shot six times a year, then MAYBE the vaccine would be worth a damn, but if they can’t fucking profit off of the weakest and least fortunate, then what’s the motivation? This country is so fucked.

As you can see, I’m not happy about this. I ask for and receive so very little out of this life. One of my simple pleasures is getting together with my friends and tailgating before Husky games (followed by either attending those games or watching them on TV). Saturdays are the best days for sports and football is the best sport there is, because you can fuck off to your heart’s content, eat and drink whatever you want, and you’ve still got all day Sunday to relax and recover! This is an absolute and total nightmare!

Of course, there’s been a last-ditch effort by players (who want to play) and coaches (who want to coach) to get their respective conferences to at least hold off on making a decision. You know, if the season starts at the end of September, that gives you a lot of weeks still to figure out a solution that works for everyone. They feel that they can be careful, keep everyone in line, and protect the players better than if they’re left to their own devices AND there’s not the dangling carrot of football to keep them motivated to stay safe (because, obviously, since a bubble isn’t possible, they’d be left to their own devices regardless, but now they don’t have that motivation). But, obviously, it comes down to money.

The conferences will hide behind the medical until they’re blue in the face – apparently something about long-term heart issues even in healthy people who get COVID-19 – but it’s clearly a liability issue, which means it’s a money issue. College football and its respective programs don’t want to be sued into oblivion. Probably understandable, although here’s a solution: guarantee kids their FULL fucking scholarships and DON’T force kids to play who don’t want to play! At that point, whatever liability waiver should be good enough; if you can’t sue these institutions for the simple act of football – in and of itself – being a dangerous sport to one’s long-term health with concussions and whatnot, then I don’t see why COVID should be any different. But, you know, my specialty is more aligned with Bird Law, so there’s probably something I’m missing here.

Part of me also wonders if this isn’t in response to the Pac-12 players banding together to demand, you know, proper safety measures and money for their services. Instead of kowtowing to demands (and, obviously, without sufficient time to actually hammer home any sort of real agreement), it’s easier to just say, “Fuck it, let’s deal with it in the spring!”

That’s sort of the silver lining here, if there is one: football can always be played in the spring. I guess. That’s assuming this country has its collective shit together which – based on what I’ve seen … my entire fucking life – is a pretty tall fucking order.

But, if by some miracle things are better then, obviously the conference is thinking about having fans in the stands, which was never going to be realistic in the fall. Baseball teams obviously have their mega TV deals, as do the rest of the professional sports. But, the Pac-12 has Larry Scott as its commissioner, so I think the conference actually has to pay the networks to televise our games; I’ll have to double check that, but it sounds right. Certainly, there isn’t anywhere CLOSE to the type of money the SEC is raking in (which is why they’re still optimistic about playing this fall, because they’re a REAL conference with actual leadership that gives more than half a shit about the sport of football, unlike Larry Scott who’s over here talking about the world championships in handball or whatever the fuck like it’s actually something important). Of course, all the Pac-12 has is its universities with their billions of dollars in endowments, so SURELY they would never survive the loss of five home games’ worth of football tickets!

I mean, at this point I don’t even care about what this means for the college football playoffs or any of that nonsense. I just want to watch college football! And regular football and movies in actual movie fucking theaters and go bowling and go inside public buildings without worrying I’m going to somehow catch something that I’ll accidentally pass along to my retired parents. It’s fucking laughably absurd that America is the fucking worst at containing this thing when the blueprint is right fucking there! Follow the fucking science and stop listening to the asshole politicians who just want to keep everyone fucking divided all the fucking time!

Or, you know, keep being fucking creeps who are too ‘Murican to wear facemasks because SUCK ON MY FREEDOM BONER THAT’S WHY and let this virus or the next one that comes along continue to ravage our lives until the end of fucking time. God bless us everyone!