A 17-Game NFL Season Is Fucking Stupid

I don’t remember ever writing about this when the news was originally released, because it’s just so dumb I didn’t even want to think about it. But, it was announced that on May 12th, there will be an announcement of this year’s NFL schedule (an announcement of an impending announcement, only SLIGHTLY less fucking stupid than a 17-game schedule), and I was reminded of what the Seahawks’ schedule is going to look like in some shape or form.

Eight home games, nine road games.

Sigh.

I mean, what are we even fucking doing here? At the heart of the matter: it’s just so fucking unnecessary! Who wants this? Well, obviously the people raking in the dollars want this, but what percentage of fans were clamoring for this? I guess it’s not like people are going to suddenly not watch their favorite teams, or boycott the additional week or whatever, but as we’ve seen with the expansion of the days per week that it’s on television, flooding the marketplace with more and more football is itself a bubble that’s going to burst sooner or later.

The NFL is special, in large part, because of its scarcity. 16 games over 17 weeks, a pittance compared to the rest of the major sports leagues. You can hardly find a time of year where we’re not bombarded by the NBA, MLB, NHL, and MLS. Yet, the NFL is confined to September through January (seeping into August with the pre-season and early February for the Super Bowl), and confined to Thursday through Monday during the week, with four off-days out of the seven.

And, as we’ve seen by failure after failure of spring football leagues, no one is interested in non-NFL or non-NCAA football products. Why? Because that’s where the best of the best reside.

Which gets me to my next point: people want to watch the very best football players, but forcing them into playing an extra game is only going to increase the odds that those elite-level talents get injured. ESPECIALLY when you’re only allowing every team a single BYE week! And especially when those BYE weeks are spread out between Weeks 4 and 13; that’s an insane spread! So you’re saying those unlucky teams who have their BYE within the first month of the season have to then play 14 consecutive weeks, plus the playoffs if they’re so lucky? What kind of utter fucking lunacy is this?!

I don’t care how much better quarterbacks are today than they were two decades ago, there still aren’t enough to go around the league ONCE, let alone enough to stock teams with competent backups. You have to be so incredibly lucky to have your QB survive a full season, that at some point sheer randomness is the biggest factor in deciding whether a team is Super Bowl-calibre or not. How is that fun?

Then we get back to the imbalanced schedule of it all. Half the league has nine home games, the other has eight? This is fair? You know what has worked perfectly since it’s been implemented? The 16-game schedule based on the previous year’s divisional finishes and a rotating set of games against intra- and inter-conference foes. Now we get this bullshit with a fifth inter-conference game?

If you’re bound and determined to expand the games, why not go right to 18? You know that’s what you really want anyway! Why this unnecessary spoonful of sugar? It’s going to happen, so just fucking do it! Or, at the very least, do it after both conferences have had an opportunity to enjoy the same advantage of an extra home game in a season.

Will it work out that way? Fuck no! They’ll expand to 18 games as soon as humanly possible; meanwhile the NFC will be fucked out of a year’s glory.

It’s so annoying. God the NFL is dumb. Fucking do whatever you want, I don’t care.

Probably the worst part is: they’re saddling us with an extra week’s worth of the agony that is fantasy football. Easily the most stressful part of my life, just got that much more stressful. Happy fucking Friday, everyone!

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