This game will go one of two ways. If this is a Seahawks team like every other Seahawks team, then they’ll go into San Francisco as 3-point underdogs, with their backs against the wall, and come away with a victory no one is really expecting. However, if this ISN’T the Same Old Seahawks, then they’ll continue to look hit-or-miss on offense and absolutely atrocious on defense.

My emotions after the loss to the Vikings – the second in a row for the Seahawks – led to an initial stance that the season is over and this team is fucked. Starting out 1-2, with back-to-back divisional games against probably the two best teams in the NFC West, is a recipe for disaster. Especially when those teams do well at everything we struggle at.

Logistically, it makes no sense for the Seahawks to look even remotely competent against the 49ers this week. They’re SO good along the offensive and defensive lines, they have a good head coach and a great offensive scheme, and they have tons of talent at wide receiver and tight end (with just-enough talent at running back). All it would take is a relatively-harmless game from Jimmy G to not totally muck things up. Considering their offensive line – and considering our lack of pass rush the last two weeks – it’s easy to see why the 49ers are favored.

But, we’ve also seen these scenarios before. Every year, at some point, the Seahawks go in the tank and everyone writes them off. Then, they find themselves in some impossible situation – going up against a better team on paper – and figure out a way to pull it out in the end. That’s why I’m inclined to pick the Seahawks to win even though all evidence would point the other direction. We’ve seen this movie before, repeatedly.

That doesn’t change my sentiment from earlier this week. I hate this team. It’s deeply flawed and we already know three weeks into the season we have no shot at a Super Bowl. What’s worse is that we can’t even bottom out properly because there’s just enough talent to hang around .500 and maybe make a wild card. But, even if we did bottom out somehow, the Jets would own our fucking pick anyway. The writing is on the wall in big, bold letters made out of human feces.

Which leads me to wonder: what if this team really IS bad? I feel like, at best, if the Seahawks prevail it will be by 3 points or fewer. If that’s the case, then this will be one of those back-and-forth games where the team with the ball at the end will have a chance to win; in other words, best case scenario this game is a coin flip. What if we call heads and it lands tails? Then, we’re 1-3 heading into a Thursday Night matchup with the fire-hot Rams. Now THAT team looks like a Super Bowl contender! Then, we’ve got a road game at Pittsburgh against that insane defense, followed by a home game against the Saints and another stout defense. We could be 1-6 sliding into Halloween with a home date against the Jags, at which point dysfunction will have swallowed this team whole.

That seems unrealistic, of course. You can’t TOTALLY rule it out, but you can pretty much rule it out.

My gut tells me things are probably okay, and we’re dealing with a Same Old Seahawks situation. But, it’s still frustrating, and nerve-wracking, and anxiety-inducing. Which is another reason why I hate this team. Why does it ALWAYS have to be this way? I know the bad teams will point and say, “At least you’re not us, forever rebuilding, never built.” But, I dunno. I’d take a little variety, or at least a little certainty.

I don’t know what to expect from this game. If the Vikings game was like the Buffalo game from last year, then we should see a much better performance on both sides of the ball from the Seahawks this week. If they have an ounce of pride whatsoever, I’d expect a sharper, crisper game. I’m picking the Seahawks to win, mostly out of spite, because I just don’t give a shit anymore. I’m going away this weekend and if I have any luck whatsoever, I’ll miss the game in its entirety and come home to find out we just won.

If the Seahawks do win, I’d expect the defense to get a lot of pressure on Jimmy G. The 49ers will still get their points, but shouldn’t score in the 30’s. I would also expect the Seahawks to look much better on offense in the second half than they’ve looked all year, but that’s just a flukey thing that’s bound to right itself sooner or later.

If the Seahawks lose, it’ll be because the 49ers are in Russell Wilson’s face early and often. A loss would likely be a low-scoring affair on both sides, with the 49ers prevailing late. Maybe the Seahawks get a garbage-time touchdown to keep it close, but ultimately the onside kick will flop against us.

I say 26-23 Seahawks. Followed by a total dismantling by the Rams on Thursday Night.