Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2021: How Low Can We Go?

Snoopy & Prickly Pete lost to Sloane N Steady 178.00 – 115.33. Thankfully, it didn’t matter that I started A.J. Brown over D.K. Metcalf (a 20-point swing), nor did it matter that I started Taylor Heinicke over Jameis Winston (a 26.15-point swing), because I got very little out of Mac Jones, CEH landed on the IR, Justin Tucker somehow only got me 3 points in game where the Ravens scored 31, and Noah Fant did Noah Fant things (which involve, almost exclusively, disappointing me). Of course, benching Metcalf, and continuing to refuse to start Jameis speaks to my poor fantasy football instincts. Should I even be allowed to run this team anymore? I’ll take your answer off the air.

That game dropped me to 1-4 on the season, in last place (tied with another 1-4 team, but he has over 100 more points than me).

Someone dropped 49ers running back Trey Sermon, so I made him a waiver claim this week. He’s not doing much of anything right now, but this whole year is dedicated to playing for next year, so my goal is to keep him (and pray he ends the year as a viable replacement for CEH). I waived Jimmy G, who has exhausted all his usefulness to me. He won’t be the starting quarterback there for long, and he’s obviously not a keeper candidate, so there’s no point in dragging his carcass through the season.

Once my claim went through, I needed to make another move. Because, with CEH officially hitting the IR, I needed to pick up a second running back to play this week. The only other running back I had on my roster was another 49er – Jeff Wilson – who is on the PUP list and won’t return for another few weeks. So, I dropped him, moved CEH to my IR spot, and picked up Bears running back Khalil Herbert.

Herbert took a bunch of snaps away from Damien Williams last week – who both played in pretty much a 50/50 share with David Montgomery on the shelf – but is slated to get the lion’s share of the running back load with Williams on the COVID IR. I very well may have to stream a second running back from week to week, but here’s hoping Herbert turns out to be something.

Here’s my lineup for Week 6:

  • Taylor Heinicke (QB) vs. KC
  • Mac Jones (QB) vs. DAL
  • Diontae Johnson (WR) vs. SEA
  • D.K. Metcalf (WR) @ PIT
  • Ezekiel Elliott (RB) @ NE
  • Khalil Herbert (RB) vs. GB
  • Noah Fant (TE) vs. LV
  • CeeDee Lamb (WR) @ NE
  • Justin Tucker (K) vs. LAC
  • L.A. Rams (DEF) @ NYG

This week, Jameis is on a BYE, and Justin Fields is going up against Green Bay. Fields had a season-high 11.95 points last week against the Raiders in a victory. He didn’t have to do much and doesn’t seem to be anywhere close to a viable fantasy quarterback. I don’t love the Mac Jones matchup against the Cowboys – whereas Fields against a poor Packers defense might actually be interesting – but at least Jones has a couple 20-point games under his belt. I need to see literally ANYTHING from Fields before I can put him back in my starting lineup.

With Trey Sermon also on a BYE, the only other skill guy I have is A.J. Brown. I’m benching him because he still fucking sucks, though I may insert him over Metcalf, because I don’t trust Geno Smith to get him the ball as far as I can throw him. I may also have my hand forced because Metcalf is dealing with injury issues and could possibly sit for this game.

I’m going up against Space Forcin’, who had two guys go last night:

  • Patrick Mahomes (QB) @ WAS
  • Tom Brady (QB) @ PHI
  • Davante Adams (WR) @ CHI
  • Chris Godwin (WR) @ PHI
  • Antonio Gibson (RB) vs. KC
  • Chase Edmonds (RB) @ CLE
  • Dalton Schultz (TE) @ NE
  • Brandin Cooks (WR) @ IND
  • Matt Prater (K) @ CLE
  • Carolina (DEF) vs. MIN

Brady and Godwin already combined for 14 points under their expected totals, which should help a great deal. Mahomes, on the other hand, could easily make up for that all by himself (against a TERRIBLE Football Team defense). I don’t love Edmonds against the Browns, and I think Schultz could be in for a long game against the Pats. Luckily, I avoided Alvin Kamara, who is on BYE this week.

I’m happy I got the 49ers running back, but I’m still pretty dismayed that zero of the quarterbacks on my roster have emerged. This is not the way I wanted this season to go.

Splinter League Round-Up!

I kicked some fuckin’ ass last week, over the guy who had Lamar Jackson and his 60+ points. It was my first 200-point week! My lowest total came from my 49ers defense, and that was still a respectable 11 points. This week, I’m already in a huge fucking hole, though, as both Evans and Godwin stunk it up last night. Kamara is on bye, which hurts, but I get another week out of Hubbard. I also managed to nab the Colts’ defense, with the 49ers on BYE; they’re expected to CRUSH Houston, so watch them give up 35 points. I can’t keep playing .500 ball all year and expect to make the 4-team playoffs! My team is too good for this!

Where Do The Seahawks Go From Here?

And, quite frankly, where do I go with my fandom from here?

I don’t expect the Seahawks to go into Pittsburgh and win this Sunday night. I come on here before every game and give my thoughts on what I think will happen; it’s usually a Friday ritual before the game two days later. Two things have happened this week that lead me to believe the streak might be coming to a close at some point: Russell Wilson mashed up a finger on his throwing hand, and the Kraken started playing games that count in the standings.

As long as I have Kraken games to watch, I’m going to try to write about them. Hockey is new and fun and interesting and I’d like to keep up on it in the early going, to see what soaks in. I haven’t fully embraced a new sport since the tail-end of 1995 with the Mariners and Major League Baseball. I was 14 at the time; my brain was much more malleable. I spent all of 1996 devouring that team – and the game as a whole – to try to learn all the little nuances. I read the newspaper most every day, I poured over the box scores; I was obsessed. As a result, even though that 1996 team severely underwhelmed (mostly thanks to a Randy Johnson injury that knocked him out for most of the year), that was probably my favorite Mariners team. A scrappy bunch of underdogs that couldn’t quite recapture the magic of their 1995 predecessors, but still had lots of fun players to root for (many of whom would go on to make the playoffs again in 1997).

I’m 40 now; I don’t expect I’ll be quite so rabid about the Kraken. But, right now, I’m much more interested in them than I am with a go-nowhere Seahawks team missing its best player in what’s looking more and more like a Season From Hell.

I know Geno Smith looked semi-competent in the fourth quarter of that Rams game last week, but again I would contend the Rams were playing him differently than Wilson, to try to bleed clock and force us to be perfect on multiple drives. I also know it’s easy to try to talk yourself into this not being the Same Ol’ Geno Smith of old. Of New York Jets fame. The huge, embarrassing bust who could never get out of his own way. The walking back-breaking interception waiting to happen. It’s fun to think this older, wiser Geno Smith might have stepped up his game significantly in the years he’s been backing up Russell Wilson.

I think that’s nuts. I think that’s a great way to get your hopes up, only to find them dashed on the floor as the Steelers’ defense gets in his face early and often. He’ll revert to his old habits in short order, I guarantee it. Lots of unnecessary checkdowns. Lots of errant passes. Lots of turnovers and 3 & Outs, with brief glimpses of competency.

It’s also easy to talk yourself into the Seahawks’ defense stepping up and carrying this team for a few weeks. What have they done so far that would lead you to believe they’re capable of that? Sure, the Steelers on offense have looked moderately inept with a WELL past-his-prime Roethlisberger looking like he should have retired three years ago. But, he’s not dead yet, and I don’t know if he’s had the luxury of going up against a secondary this mediocre.

Of course, Tre Flowers was just waived this week – picked up by the Bengals, for some reason – so maybe there’s a little Addition By Subtraction going on? Let’s hope so, but I’m not holding my breath.

I kind of expect this game to be ugly and low scoring, but I also think it’ll end up being a blowout, where they beat us by multiple scores. Maybe something like 20-3?

And if this is indeed what we have to look forward to as Seahawks fans, then I can’t see myself giving nearly as much of a shit. My coverage of the Washington Huskies has been flushed down the toilet; I didn’t even watch one minute of the loss to Oregon State! There’s no way I’m driving myself batty with a Seahawks team that’s going to embarrass us on a weekly basis.

I have better things to do with my time. Like watch Kraken games.

The Kraken Won Their First Game Ever In Nashville

I got home a little late, so I missed the beginning of this one; I walked into the house and it was already 1-0 Nashville, where it looked like they got a goal on a quick little flukey play off a face-off in front of the goalie. Just like Tuesday, all the deficit meant was that it was time for the Kraken to go to work.

We took advantage of both first period power plays to go up 2-1 after one frame. Jared McCann scored the first-ever power play goal in Kraken history less than a minute into it. This followed a massive hit by Vince Dunn on one of the Predators, who then engaged Dunn in a fight. Both were sent out for fighting, and the power play was tacked onto their guy for roughing. Outstanding!

Almost immediately after tying the game, the Kraken took advantage in the Nashville zone, forcing them to trip our guy approximately 12 seconds later. That led to a nifty little goal by Brandon Tanev, who was in the right place as the puck bounced straight to him with the goalie not looking.

Early in the second period, there was a foul on a Kraken player; we had a chance to see if we could keep our streak alive of stopping opposing power plays. However, 84 seconds into it, we got dinged by a second penalty and couldn’t prevent the goal with a 2-man disadvantage. The game was tied and there was still a lot of time left in the second power play session, but we managed to stop the bleeding there.

A few minutes later, we were able to score the go-ahead goal by Alex Wennberg to maintain our 3-2 lead heading into the final frame.

That last period was intense! It really looked like the focus shifted to an extreme defensive mindset by the Kraken: hunker down, flood the area in front of the goalie, and don’t let them get behind you or be in position to get anything cheap. Philipp Grubauer was amazing in that third period! I don’t know how many shots he took in that frame, but in the game he saw 30 and it felt like the vast majority came in the third. The Predators had the puck in our defensive zone for damn near the entire 20 minutes. They had a few really excellent chances, but Grubauer blocked them all.

Then, with about two minutes left, desperate to tie the game, the Predators pulled their goalie. In the fracas, we managed to get the puck away and Tanev scored his second goal of the game, with an empty net. The Predators – finally – managed to score with about 40 seconds left in the game to make it 4-3, but we held on to close out the victory.

Did the Predators pull their goalie too early? My dad seemed to think so, and felt vindicated when he saw them score eventually. But, I didn’t mind the aggression. They’d just spent around 18 minutes in our zone trying in vain to score 5 on 5. This was the defense I’d been led to believe we’d be seeing all year long; it was really stifling when we needed it most!

Either way, it was fun to see the Kraken get their first-ever victory. I’m starting to narrow down my list of players whose jersey (sweater?) I wouldn’t mind getting. I won’t get one right away – to see what the vast majority of people end up with – but I’m definitely getting one at some point!