The Stupid Mariners Lost A Series To The Stupid Phillies

Look, the NFL Draft starts later, the Kraken are on a playoff run, and clearly the Mariners suck, so of the three, one of them is getting the shaft here.

We won on Tuesday 5-3, big hairy fucking deal. Marco Gonzales went 5 innings, gave up 1 run on only 75 pitches, and was trusted to go no further. Kelenic and Teoscar hit homers, whatever.

The Mariners blew Game 2, by a score of 6-5. Logan Gilbert was mediocre, but left with the lead. Justin Topa blew the save by giving up 2 runs in the 8th while getting zero outs. We wasted a J.P. Crawford grand slam, whatever.

The Mariners also wasted a magnificent George Kirby start in the rubber match, where he went the full 8 innings, giving up 1 run on 4 hits and a walk, while striking out 7, all on 89 pitches. Yes, that’s right, a lefty and some bullpen guys mowed us down and we lost 1-0.

We’re 11-14 now and we’re headed to Toronto to go get fucking annihilated. Maybe a little revenge for us beating them in the wild card round last year. At least they won’t have Robbie Ray to kick around. Of course, no one in the A.L. will have Robbie Ray to kick around this year, because he’s dead. Or having surgery and is out for the entire season. One or the other (same dif, really).

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