When the Seahawks won Super Bowl XLVIII, I got a lot of crap for the website’s name. Granted, I’ve gotten a lot of crap for it before the Seahawks had their run, because it’s not great and I’ve never really been satisfied with it. But, I think it’s fitting, for what I do here.

If you’re not really familiar with my writing on Seattle sports, you’d probably expect this site to be run by Negative Nancy, and her good friend Debbie Downer, but that’s not totally accurate. Granted, the teams can be terrible, and I’ll do my fair share of pissing and moaning about it; but, sometimes the teams can be great, and it’s okay to revel in it and look on the bright side from time to time.

Seattle isn’t Sports Hell because we’re shrouded in this cover of ineptitude. We’re not CLEVELAND, for crying out loud! We’ve had SOME success. But, there is a long history of failure, of coming close and having our guts ripped out, and going forward there will always be something to bemoan.

The NBA is gone and is probably never coming back.

In baseball, you’re not far away from your next embarrassing failure.

Someday, this run of positivity will run out in Seahawkland and we’ll be left with a painful unknown.

And the major college sports in this city will never measure up to the national powerhouses.

It’s all intertwined: the past, present, and future. It’s the nature of the beast. You follow sports, and you’re bound to get your heart broken. The Seahawks could go down in history as another dynasty, the Mariners could finally win a World Series championship, the Sonics could return, we could get an NHL franchise, and the Huskies could somehow do the impossible … all of that could happen and I’d STILL keep the name Seattle Sports Hell.

Because I’m a Seattleite. And I know, no matter how good things may be in the moment, the other shoe is bound to drop any time now.


Born in Tacoma, WA, graduate of the University of Washington in 2003 with an English major (focus on Creative Writing).  I have a day job, an apartment, and a bitchin’ 1980 Camaro that I’ve had since I was 16, with a total cosmetic & engine overhaul at some point in the last decade.

My favorite book is A Confederacy of Dunces, my favorite TV sitcom is Newsradio, my favorite TV drama is either The Sopranos or Breaking Bad, my favorite movie is some combination of The Shining, Bloodsport, The Royal Tenenbaums, Boogie Nights, and The Big Lebowski.  And, if you thought that was a cop out, my favorite band/musical artist is some combination ten times as long (Jimi Hendrix, Aerosmith, Radiohead, Nirvana, Notorious B.I.G., Pearl Jam, James Brown, Sigur Ros, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Guns N’ Roses, Faith No More, Daft Punk, Prince, Alice In Chains, Explosions In The Sky, Miles Davis, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Aphex Twin, Built To Spill, Metallica, Orbital, The Flaming Lips, David Bowie, and so on and so forth).

I’m notorious for staying home on weeknights and getting lit up on weekends.  In casual social settings, I prefer a dark beer, a red wine, or even a fruity cider.  In my power-drinking mode, you’ll often find me with a Bud Light in my hand and a dozen or so empty cans in front of me.  I love going to comedy shows, long walks on the beach, and talking shit about a pretty sunset.  I have music playing at almost all times when I’m awake to drown out the crushing loneliness I inflict upon myself voices in my head various ways I could finish this sentence.  I also like to write about non-sports stuff and try to finish a short story whenever inspiration strikes.  Finally, I’m about a B+ bowler.

If you think you’re the woman for me, send nudes to P.O. Box 329, Seattle.  My ideal mate is someone who has absolutely no interest in me whatsoever, so my ideal mate is pretty much everyone.