The Mariners Feel Their Rotation Is Set?

So, I guess there was this interview with Jerry Dipoto on 710am recently where he said the Mariners are more or less set with the starting pitchers they have.  Don’t expect any major moves – either via free agency, or trades – between now and Spring Training.  This, in spite of the fact that at the moment, there are a TON of starting pitchers on the free agent market.  The supply is high, the demand appears to be low for now, and so you know what that means:  good pitchers could be brought in for a song.

And the Mariners aren’t going to take advantage of this?  Are they fucking NUTS?

This feels like a Once in a Decade type of thing.  Usually, Major League Baseball’s free agency period is a feeding frenzy of 30 ravenous coyotes all going after one small, dying group of deer.  The biggest, toughest ones snatch the best players for themselves, leaving the rest of the league trying to squeeze blood from a stone (lots of weird metaphors here, I apologize).  Every once in a while, the Mariners go big game hunting, but more often than not, we’re among the lower-level teams picking off the scraps.

But, this year, there’s actual talent on the market!  That the Yankees, Red Sox, Dodgers, Cubs, and Angels have all passed over!

On the flipside, you’ve got the Mariners, whose plan apparently involves going into 2018 with the same set of rotation pitchers they had at the end of 2017.  I know I ranted my way down this rabbithole on Twitter earlier in the week, but let’s run down everyone:

  • James Paxton – has never stayed healthy in his entire career
  • Felix Hernandez – clearly on the downside of his career, also coming off of multiple seasons of injuries
  • Mike Leake – who was very good with the M’s late last year, but those were his first 5 games as a member of the American League, so he had the element of being an unknown on his side (he also out-pitched his career numbers to an amazing degree, so it’s safe to say 2018 Leake is in for some heavy regression)
  • Ariel Miranda – who is just a so-so fifth starter type as it is, who faltered GREATLY at the end of the season last year
  • Andrew Moore – who just got POUNDED almost each and every appearance
  • Marco Gonzales – who also got POUNDED almost each and every appearance
  • Erasmo Ramirez – who probably had his best-ever sustained run of greatness last season after being traded back to the M’s, but you’re a fucking FOOL if you believe that’s going to continue on into 2018 and beyond
  • Hisashi Iwakuma – who is coming off of a lifetime of injuries, who is currently on a minor league deal, and who knows if he’s even recovered from last year’s debilitating arm issues?

And that’s not even getting into all the other AAA nobodies we have in this organization who are all surely just as bad as all the AAA nobodies we had to suffer through in 2017 thanks to all the injuries and nonsense.  At least we don’t have Yovani Gallardo wasting our fucking time with his bullshit.

I mean, this is a joke, right?  That the Mariners are “set” with their starting rotation?  You do realize we’re in the FUCKING American League West, with the best team in all of baseball (the Astros) who have done nothing but get BETTER this offseason (especially if they figure out a way to bring in Gerrit Cole).  Then, there’s the Angels who finished 2 games ahead of the Mariners in 2017, who still have the best player alive (Mike Trout), and who brought in the consensus best free agent pitcher/hitter in the world (Shohei Ohtani).  Then, there’s the Texas Rangers, who had the same record as the Mariners last year, and had injury issues of their own to contend with.  Oh, and you can’t dismiss Oakland out of hand, because they always deal in up-and-coming prospects and you never know when it’s all going to come together for them out of nowhere.

What have the Mariners done?  They traded for a second baseman that they’re converting to a centerfielder, they signed a reliever, and they traded for a first baseman who might not be any good (and who might not even be any better than the first basemen we had last year).  That’s it.

This is a team, mind you, with a majority stake in their own fucking regional sports network!  They’re practically printing money!  And this is all we can muster?

Don’t forget, this is also the team that refuses to tear it all down and start a rebuild.  Which, fine (they probably couldn’t anyway, because no one in their right minds would give legitimate prospects for the likes of aging veterans like Cano, Cruz, or Felix, no matter how much the fans are clamoring for it).  We’ve got these veterans, we’ve got a solid offense, let’s play to win now.

Well, then LET’S GO!  Let’s sign one of these stud starting pitchers still out there on the free agent market!  What, we had all this money to pursue Ohtani, but we don’t have a few sheckles for Yu Darvish or Lance Lynn or any of the numerous starting pitchers out there who are BETTER and MORE RELIABLE than the ones we have under contract?

You know what really gets me?  Every time the Mariners decide to bite the bullet and hit the free agent market in earnest, they have to over-pay to bring in the guys they sign.  Sometimes it works out (Cano and Cruz have been great signings, for instance), but a lot of times they’re busts (Carlos Silva anyone?  Jarrod Washburn?  ET FUCKING AL).  Now, we have a chance to get some really GOOD players on the cheap (what are they going to do, retire in protest?  GTFO), and what do we do?  Clutch our purse strings and claim poverty.

Bullshit.  Fucking BULLSHIT!

God damn these fucking Mariners!  WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING HERE YOU GUYS???  You do realize the M’s are WAY WORSE than both the Astros and Angels!  You do realize we have to play everyone in our division 19 times apiece!  That’s 76 games – almost HALF YOUR FUCKING SCHEDULE – and you’re not even fucking trying.

Well, if you’re not going to try, then blow the fucking thing up.  But, these half measures are fucking killing me.  Normally, when I write a season off before it starts, it’s because the Mariners are fucking miserable failures.  But, this year, if you planted the Mariners in any other mediocre division, they’d probably net at least 10 more victories than they will in the A.L. West.  Fucking unbelievable.

Except, no.  VERY believable.  Welcome to YOUR Seattle Mariners, everyone!  Just shoot me in the fucking head right now and get it over with.

The Mariners Finished 78-84

Tied for 14th-worst record in baseball, with the Texas Rangers.  And, by virtue of the Rangers having a superior record than the Mariners in 2016, that means we win the tie-breaker!  Hurrah!  We’re drafting 14th!

Hey, it could’ve been worse.  Sure, it could’ve been a lot better, but I guess we just HAD to win those three games in the final week!

I have nothing to say about the series against the Angels.  I’m just going to run through some numbers.  I’ll have a proper End Of Season Recap when I’ve had time to digest everything that’s happened.

78-84 is good for 3rd in the A.L. West, behind the division-winning Astros and the nothing Angels.  The Astros were 23 games better than the Mariners.  Go ahead and let that sink in.

78-84 is good for 7 games back of the second Wild Card spot.  The Twins ended up taking that, as I believe I’ve mentioned before.  The Royals, Rays, and Angels all stood in our way as well.  Oddly enough, every team out of the playoffs was under .500 in the American League (there were two teams in the N.L. with winning records that failed to make the playoffs).

The Mariners finished 40-41 at home; 38-43 on the road.  The Mariners finished with a -22 run differential (by the Pythagorean winning percentage, we should’ve been about 1 win better).

Here are the Mariners’ records by month:

  • April:  11-15
  • May:  14-14
  • June:  15-12
  • July:  14-12
  • August:  12-15
  • September:  12-16

The Mariners’ peak was 3 games over .500, which I believe they achieved twice; the nadir was 8 games under .500.  The longest winning streak and losing streak were both 6 games.  The Mariners were 7-5 in extra innings games.  They were 26-15 in 1-run games.

Here are the Mariners’ final records against their A.L. West foes:

  • Houston:  5-14
  • Anaheim:  7-12
  • Texas:  11-8
  • Oakland:  12-7
  • Total:  35-41

That means the Mariners were 43-43 against everyone else.  Not great, considering every other American League division had a minimum of 2 playoff teams; we really should’ve done a better job cleaning up in our own division.

Jean Segura led the Mariners in batting average with an even .300.  Nelson Cruz led the team in OBP with .375, and Slugging with .549 (it would stand to reason, then, that he led in OPS with .924).  Cruz led the team in homers with 39, and in runs scored with 91; he led the entire American League in RBI with 119.  Robbie Cano had the team lead in hits with 166.  Cano and Seager tied for the team lead in doubles with 33.  And Ben Gamel took the team lead in triples with 5.  Jarrod Dyson was your stolen base king with 28.

The less said about the pitching, the better, but here are a couple of nuggets.  You want to know who led the team in innings pitched?  Ariel Miranda, with a whopping 160!  Paxton led the team in strikeouts with 156 and in wins with 12.  Yovani Gallardo led the team in losses with 10.  Nick Vincent, naturally, led the team in Holds with 29.  And Edwin Diaz finished with 34 saves.

The Mariners finished 7th in the A.L. in runs scored with 750.  8th in ERA with 4.46.

I could go on and on, but I’ll call it a day right there.  All told, the offense was worse than I expected, and the pitching was as bad as I feared.  Of course, I hoped for the best with the pitching, and it indeed may have been better had everyone not gotten injured.  But, overall this is probably the record the Mariners deserved.  This is probably the best indication of who these Mariners were.  Sure, they might’ve been a bit better with a full season out of Paxton and Felix, and with ANY season out of Smyly, but with their flaws, this was no playoff team.  Not now, not ever.

You want to hear something really sad?  In two years managing the Seattle Mariners, Lloyd McClendon was 163-161.  In two years managing the Seattle Mariners, Scott Servais is 164-160.  Over these last two years, the Mariners are exactly 1 game better than they were the previous two years.

God I hate baseball.

Thank Christ There’s Only Three More Of These Fucking Things Left

On a day where the Minnesota Twins – a season after losing 103 games – clinched the second Wild Card spot (thanks to an Anaheim Angels defeat, glory to God), the Seattle Mariners dropped to 77-82.

The Twins feel like nothing special, right?  They started out as the Washington Senators in 1901, went to three World Series in their first 60 years as the Senators (winning one), then moved to Minnesota and became the Twins.  Since then, they’ve made three more World Series (winning in 1987 and 1991), but since THEN, really haven’t done much.  Just another American League team in another American League city.  You know, the city of wherever it is the Minnesota Twins play.

Would it shock you to know that this is the 7th time they’ve made the playoffs since 2002?  You’re probably more of a baseball fan than I am, so you probably already knew that.  But, here’s a team that was last good in 2010, when they won the A.L. Central with 94 wins.  Since then, in order, they’ve lost 99, 96, 96, 92, 79, and 103 games.  Suffice it to say, the Twins have been pretty terrible the last six years.

AND YET, somehow they’re at 83 wins and counting, having secured a Wild Card spot with four games to go.


I never thought I’d be jealous of the Twins, but here I am.  It’s not like they’re in some huge market!  They don’t spend the most money or have some genius GM.  I mean, maybe all that losing translated into high draft picks that they were subsequently able to hit on, but that’s a roll of the dice as much as anything!

It’s when confronted with information like that where I start to think Seattle truly IS cursed.  Or, maybe it’s just the Mariners organization, I dunno.  But, here we are, 16 seasons of playoff-free baseball in a row.  And counting!  Because, where does this fucking thing end?  Paxton can’t stay healthy, Felix is on his last legs, the rest of this rotation is full of soft-tossing knobs who give up home runs like they’re the antidote.  And, oh let’s see, Nelson Cruz will be 38 years old next year; Cano will be 35 (and in his 5th season of a 10-year deal).  Some of the younger hitters look promising, but they’re no guarantees, and this team’s success really depends on Cano and Cruz playing like superstars!

Even IF this team were to win the lottery and put together a magical Wild Card run in 2018, the clock is ticking on our studs.  I could just as easily see this team continue to spin its tires in the mud for a few years before they have to blow everything up and start all over again.  At that point, what are we talking about here?  Over two decades of either mediocrity or outright filth.


Erasmo Ramirez got the start yesterday and was sort of okay.  The defense was shit, as usual, but the offense bailed everyone out and got him a no decision.  He appears to have a rotation spot waiting for him next year, which is everything you need to know about this organization.  That’s Paxton-Felix-Leake-Erasmo as your top four guys heading into the offseason, with the likes of Miranda, Marco, Albers, and Moore vying for that fifth spot.

Of course, that CAN’T happen, and it won’t happen.  The team will make moves this offseason, bring in at least one guaranteed new starter, with probably a small handful of other guys to compete for a back-end starting job, but barring some trades (which you know are coming), these are the guys we have to look forward to.  And Erasmo, very much, is in that conversation.  Maybe not as a #4, but certainly as a #5 or as a long reliever/bullpen type.  I, uhh … yeah.  Neat.

Mike Marjama got his first Major League start at catcher and got 2 hits, including a double.  I didn’t see how he looked, because I was working, but that’s a memory that’ll last him a lifetime.  Jacob Hannemann got his second career start (both in this series) and had a hit, a run, and an error.  He, of course, started in place of Guillermo Heredia, who was shut down earlier this week and will have shoulder surgery.  He should be fine by Spring Training though.

Shae Simmons gave up a walk-off home run to keep the Mariners from sweeping this dopey series, so good for him.  We’re still drafting 16th right now, which means I have to root for the stupid fucking Angels this weekend.  There are still FIVE teams we can leapfrog, so let’s get to losing Mariners!  Do something RIGHT for once!

The Mariners Keep Winning & So Does Everyone Else

The Mariners have a 3-game winning streak.  How about that.

King Felix came back and didn’t embarrass himself.  He was on a pitch count of around 50 pitches or so, and ended up going just a hair over that trying to get the final out in the fourth.  He gave up a double to his final batter and was pulled for Ryan Garton to get out of the little mini-jam.

Which brings up a quick aside, as I’d like to praise Scott Servais for this thing he’s been doing lately.  I suppose I only noticed it because so many of our fucking starters this year have gone well under the 5-inning mark, but when it’s early in a game and the starter is clearly faltering, when Servais pulls him, he doesn’t go immediately to the long reliever, which I agree with 100%.  With a bunch of runners on base, and the other team clearly seeing & hitting the ball well that day, you don’t need to replace one mediocre starter with another mediocre starter (and what is a long reliever if not a mediocre starter?).  You need to bring in a standard one inning-type reliever to put the clamp down on further scoring that inning.  Then, assuming he gets out of the jam, go ahead and bring your long reliever in the NEXT inning, with a clean slate and no runners on base.

It’s not a big thing, but I think it’s very smart and deserves to be acknowledged.

Anyway, getting back, Felix held the Rangers to 1 run over his 3.2 innings of work.  He gave up 3 hits, 0 walks, and 3 strikeouts, and generally kept the Rangers off balance most of the time he was out there.  I’m not creaming my pants or anything, but it’s certainly better than a lot of what we’ve seen from this rotation in recent weeks.

Then, from the fifth inning onward, Andrew Albers took over, closing this game out.  He went a full five innings, giving up 3 runs on 3 hits, 1 walk, with 6 strikeouts.  It was announced before the game that Ariel Miranda is going to get some time off to rest his over-worked arm (which is certainly the prudent thing to do), and for the time being Andrew Moore is going to make the start on Sunday in his place.  People on Twitter were rightly manic about the snubbing of Albers – who has been a better pitcher for this team this year, and deserves the honor of taking over the rotation spot Miranda is vacating – but my hunch is after this turn, Albers will get his shot again.  Or, even if he doesn’t, it’s not like this team has suddenly, magically, fixed everything that was wrong with its rotation.  This team WILL need its long relievers again before the season is over!  You haven’t seen the last of Andrew Albers, I promise you!

It would’ve been a magnificent outing for Albers, if not for the 3-run homer he gave up in the bottom of the seventh.  But, by that point, the Mariners had racked up a 10-1 lead, so we weren’t in any danger.

In their 3 wins this series, the Mariners beat the Rangers by a combined score of 28-8.  THE BATS ARE ALIVE!  Just in time to be silenced in Houston this weekend, because we can’t have nice things; but on the off-chance that they’re not, this is the perfect time for this offense to be heating up.

Haniger finally went hitless, but did walk and score a run.  Segura had a hit and a run.  Zunino had 2 walks, a hit and an RBI.  But, those are small potatoes compared to the heavy lifting being done by the middle of the order.

Cruz, Seager, and Yonder Alonso (dropped from 2 to 6 in the lineup, which is exactly where he fits best) combined to go 9 for 12 with all the doubles and homers, as well as 7 of the 10 runs scored, and 8 of the 10 RBI.  Don’t look now, but Seager is up to 25 homers on the season, and Cruz is up to 33.  GREAT time for them to get hot!

Unfortunately, as I alluded to in the title, in spite of this 3-game winning streak, the Mariners haven’t made up any ground on the Twins, as they’re still 3.5 games back.  The M’s did do a good job of passing the Rangers, Orioles, Royals, and Rays, and we’re holding steady a half game back of the Angels (the only team between us and the Twins now), but as I keep saying, time’s a-wastin’.  15 games left in the season, including 3 against the Astros this weekend, and 3 against the magma-hot Indians (winners of 22 straight, an all-time American League record) next weekend.

Sadly, this feels like a good time to play one last game of fetch with Old Yeller before we take the Mariners out behind the barn and shoot ’em.  The last game I attended was back in August for Edgar Martinez Weekend, so I figure I should get out to one more before it’s all said and done.  Next week features the final six home games of the 2017 season; I recommend getting out there one last time to do the same.  If things hold as predicted, I’ll be going to the game where Corey Kluber klubs us to death.  Should be good times.

Mariners Look Up “Too Little Too Late”, See Their Reflection

It’s nice to see Marco Gonzales have a little success, I guess.  He was still only able to go five innings, but I have to assume that’s because he’s coming from the bullpen and hasn’t yet been stretched out.  Still, 5 innings and 3 runs is far and away his best outing start of the season.  He got into a couple of mini-jams, but was able to get out of them without throwing away the game.  He struck out 6 and walked only 1, while spreading 8 hits around.  And, he got his first win in a Mariners uniform (and his first Major League victory since 2014).  When you tack that onto his 4 shutout innings from his previous appearance, let’s hope that’s the start of a nice, successful run to close out the season.

It’s nice to see the offense bust out in a big way.  Haniger continues to smoke the ball, with 2 more hits (including a double) and 2 more runs scored.  Cano had 3 hits (including a double), with a run and an RBI.  Cruz had 2 hits and 2 runs; Seager hit a 3-run bomb and also scored 2 runs; Ben Gamel also had a 3-run bomb as part of his 3-hit day.  On top of that, Zunino and Alonso both had 2 hits apiece to really drag this game kicking and screaming past the 3-hour mark.

And sure, it’s nice that the dregs of the bullpen mopped up the final four innings without giving up another run.  All in all, it adds up to a nice 10-3 victory for the Mariners, evening up the series, bringing their record to within one game of .500, and maintaining the 3.5 game deficit from the second Wild Card.

All of these are nice things, but they won’t mean a damn thing until the Mariners are able to manage a winning streak.

The encouraging thing is, the Mariners might FINALLY be able to do something here.  It’s going to take everything they have, and if I had to bet the family farm, I’d 100% bet against it happening, but as of the middle of September – with just over 2 weeks left in the season – the Mariners might have finally fleshed out a starting rotation.

I know, right!  But, go with me on this, I’ve had a long day week month life.

Mike Leake has looked awfully solid in his first few starts here.  If he can keep it up, he’s a nice little #3 pitcher for this rotation.  He goes tonight.

Then, there’s Felix.  The last time he came off the DL, he was able to make 8 starts before re-injuring the same body part.  Of those 8 starts, 5 were useable.  Given how late we are in the season, 5 good starts should be plenty.  He goes tomorrow (he’ll be on a limited pitch count for the first game, but that’s what we have all these long relievers for).

Then, we’ve got Paxton kicking off the Houston series.  The last time he came off the DL, he was able to make 14 starts before getting injured again.  Of those 14, 12 were useable.  That’s more than enough.

Then, there’s Erasmo Ramirez.  He never gets injured.  Sometimes that’s a good thing, sometimes you just wish he’d go on the DL for the rest of your life.  He’s riding a 6-game Quality Start streak that has to be the best run of pitching in his entire career.  He has almost single-handedly held this rotation together while Felix and Paxton have been gone.  If we have to go with a #4 starter, I’ve seen worse.

Then, there’s TBD.  I’m going to flip the fuck out if Ariel Miranda is still in this rotation come Sunday, because as we’ve clearly seen, both Marco Gonzales and Andrew Moore have both pitched excellent in recent games.  Either way, you have to expect Miranda is on the world’s shortest leash; it’s really more of a Chinese finger trap at this point.  I have to expect, if he gets the start, there will be a man warming up in the bullpen right alongside him before the game even gets going.  If you consider the team’s fifth starter just a Bullpen Day for the month of September (knowing full well that if by some miracle the M’s make the playoffs, they’ll never need a fifth starter, and likely won’t even need a fourth), I’d be okay with that.

So, you know, the blueprint is there.  Decent starting pitching, lots of clutch hitting, and the bullpen needs to catch fire the rest of the way.  5 games against the Rangers, 3  against Oakland, 3 against the Angels:  all should be winnable games.  Then, there are 3 against the Astros and 3 against the Indians.  I know the Astros are our kryptonite, but we’re going to have to find a way to win at least 2 of those games this weekend.  And I know the Indians are riding an insane 20-game winning streak, but we just have to hope they cool the fuck off before we play them at home next weekend, and again take 2 of 3.

Realistically, I think the Mariners need to go 13-4 the rest of the way to lock up the second Wild Card.  That would put us at 85-77.  Right now, the Twins (who currently hold that spot) are 75-69, with 18 games to go.  If we went 13-4 and the Twins went only went 9-9, we’d beat them by 1 game.  So, yeah, that’s what we’re looking at.  And let’s not forget the three teams in between us and the Twins (Angels, Rangers & Royals), nor the two teams still hovering around just behind us (Rays & Orioles).

When you lay it all out there like that, it really looks daunting.  It’s different when you see the Mariners are 3.5 games back.  Theoretically, you can make that up in a week!  But, when you factor in how few games are left in the season, and you realize your fate isn’t in your hands anymore, it seems impossible, doesn’t it?  Crazier things have happened, but I have to admit this would be one of the craziest.

What a damn, fucking waste this season has been.

Ariel Miranda Needs To Be Done For The Year

Feel free to put him in the bullpen if you must, but I’m not even sure he’s good enough for that role right now.  Maybe in a blowout, in lieu of using a backup catcher to eat an inning, you can go ahead and throw Miranda in there.  But, at the VERY least, he needs to not be starting anymore.

And don’t give me this shit about how he threw 6 no-hit innings in his last start!  “No hitters” cease to mean a God damn thing when you walk 6 people and give up a run!  The fact of the matter is, Miranda hasn’t been worth a damn since the end of June; he’s only ranged from mediocre to Fucking God Awful, and it’s time to give him a break.  Yes, we all appreciate his good health this year, but it’s getting to be fucking ridiculous to keep running him out there when the world is destroying him.

Last night, the Mariners lost 5-3 to the Rangers.  Someone for the Mariners pitched six innings, giving up only 1 run.  That someone was Andrew Moore, in relief.  As you might have suspected, Ariel Miranda got the start, and couldn’t finish the second inning.  He gave up a 2-run double in the first, and another 2-run double in the second, and that was that.  1.2 innings, 6 hits, 3 walks and only 1 strikeout.  Fucking PATHETIC.

The Mariners did about as well as could be expected against Cole Hamels, getting 3 runs off of him in his 6 innings, but couldn’t crack the Rangers’ bullpen.  Haniger continued his torrid September, with 3 more hits (just a triple away from the cycle this time around) including a 2-run homer.  Seager had the other RBI on his solo homer in the second, his 23rd homer on the season.  While this year has been a step back for Seager compared to his 2016, he has quietly put up a very Kyle Seager-esque stat line when compared to his career numbers.  It’s a bummer to see his batting average, on-base percentage, and RBI numbers all down, but the power numbers are still there, which lessens my concerns about his future prospects.

Not a whole lot out of the rest of the lineup, though.  0 for 6 with RISP generally won’t get the job done.

Yeah, so anyway, time’s a wastin’, Mariners!  Now might be a good time to rip off a 10-game winning streak!

Bad Offense/Bullpen Tanks Mariners

I didn’t watch a minute of this game.  Ariel Miranda threw six no-hit innings and still somehow gave up a run.  After six, the game was tied at 1-1, then Emilio Pagan immediately gave up a 2-run home run.  The M’s were 0-4 with RISP.  On top of it all, new Astro Justin Verlander won his first game with the new team.

I have a fuckload of work to do and I don’t give a shit about this Astros series.  So, go check out my 2017 NFL predictions in case you missed it.

Ariel Miranda: Human Fucking Jugs Machine

Apparently, durability gets you the utmost praise in the Mariners organization nowadays.  The Mariners just traded for someone named Mike Leake from the St. Louis Cardinals for a minor league infielder and cash.  Cash towards the international free agent signing market and just plain ol’ cash to offset Leake’s high contract.  He’s apparently owed $53 million after this year (counting a $5 million buy-out in 2021), and the Cardinals have forked over $17 million, meaning the Mariners essentially have Mike Leake on a 3-year, $12 million deal.

So, who is Mike Leake?  Well, he’s a career National League pitcher who got his start in the Bigs in 2010.  Since 2012, he’s made at least 30 starts per year, peaking in the first half of 2015 before he was traded from the Reds to the Giants.  He signed as a free agent with St. Louis in 2016 and has seen a sharp decline in his abilities.  Or, maybe just his results, but I’m willing to bet it’s both.  This year, he’s 7-12 with a 4.21 ERA, so he immediately becomes the Ace of the Seattle Mariners.

And, of course, right there in Jerry Dipoto’s quote, he calls Leake, “one of the most durable starters over most of the last decade.”  That’s the bar you have to clear to make it on the Mariners, because this season can seriously go fuck itself.

Ariel Miranda, about to give up another home run …

Ariel Miranda is another one of those durable types.  He tends to get lavished with praise for the simple ability to not land on the DL, though less praise is coming by the start, because YEESH is he fucking terrible.

Staked to a fucking 6-2 lead, Miranda proceeded to fuck that all away and couldn’t even get through the fifth inning in the process, giving up 4 MORE home runs, to put him at a Major League-leading 35 on the year, in 27 fucking starts, or nearly one and a third home runs per start.

That’s what you get when you combine a shitty fastball with a shitty arsenal of off-speed pitches and a general shitty command of all of it.  Fastballs in the 91 mph range might be considered “average”, but to me they’re shit.  Anything below 94 mph – if you don’t have a significant amount of movement – is a worthless fastball at the Major League level.  You’re only going to get swings and misses if you totally fool the hitter into expecting that you’re going to throw something else.  Combine that with a change-up that tends to float out over the middle of the plate more than dive towards the dirt, and you’ve got a recipe for one of the worst fucking pitchers in the league, from a homers-given-up perspective.

In case it wasn’t abundantly clear by now, THIS is the reason why he was a sixth starter heading into this season (before Drew Smyly got hurt), and THIS is the reason why the Mariners still have a lot of work to do before next year to shore up this rotation.  Because I don’t think we can afford to suffer through another year of Ariel Miranda making 30+ starts, unless he makes a dramatic improvement in his overall pitching presence.

You know what’s odd?  He doesn’t even necessarily get more homer-prone the second and third times through the lineup.  Of his 35 homers, 13 of them have been given up in the first inning, his worst inning by far.  He seems to settle down in the second inning, but this would still make him a miserable candidate for the bullpen, because out of the gate he’s throwing meatballs right down the middle of the plate!  After the second inning, he slowly but surely gets worse as the game goes on, until you get past the sixth inning, when the sample size is too small (ostensibly, if Miranda is pitching into the seventh, eighth, or ninth innings, he’s probably on top of his game that day, which is exceedingly rare).

So, yeah, the Mariners blew a 6-2 lead yesterday, ultimately losing 8-7.  David Phelps got injured again, probably because he was rushed back into pitching after his last DL stint.  Christian Bergman was used in a rare (for him) late-game, short-inning appearance, going 2/3 of an inning, giving up a hit and a walk before being pulled by Scrabble, who allowed the game-winning run to score on his only pitch of the day.

Just a perfect end to a disaster of a road trip.  5-7, including a 5-game losing streak to close it out.  The Mariners went 12-15 in August (not shocking, considering the road slate they were faced with) and have fallen 4 games back of the second Wild Card, behind the likes of Tampa, Texas, Baltimore, Anaheim, and Minnesota.

Day off today followed by a 10-day, 9-game homestand.  The M’s don’t have to travel any farther than the state of Texas the rest of the regular season, but considering all the teams (save Oakland) are legitimately better than us, I could see September being a real ball-buster.

Thank Christ football season is officially upon us starting tomorrow.  God Awgs!

Mediocre Baltimore Pitcher Shuts Out Mariners

Dylan Bundy.  Grandmaster D.  Plenty of teams have scored off of him.  In fact, in MOST GAMES teams have scored off of him.  But, with the Mariners in town – CLEARLY exhausted from this punishing road trip in this ridiculous August schedule – he was able to shut us out over 9 innings, allowing one infield hit, walking 2, and striking out 12.

Overused memes are overused …

I’m sure having Bundy throw 116 pitches will have no effect whatsoever on his arm, given his extensive injury history.

Yeah, I just think the Mariners are tired.  I think a 2-week East Coast road trip for a team from Seattle this late in the season is patently absurd and Major League Baseball should be ashamed.  Say what you want about the NFL, but at least they go to great pains to try to make a fair schedule for everyone; this bullshit where the Mariners have to play 21 out of 28 games on the road is some fucking next-level schedule trolling.

Still, the M’s picked a pretty shitty time to waste a quality start.  Erasmo Ramirez is on the roll of his life, with this his fourth game where he’s gone 6 innings while giving up 3 runs or less.  To wit:  6 innings, 5 hits, 2 walks, 2 runs, 7 strikeouts.  I don’t want to know how the sausage is made; I don’t want to hear about how unsustainable it is; I just want to sit here and enjoy it.  Obviously, it won’t last, but given the state of this rotation – where we’re about to go a full turn without a win – you have to try to appreciate the little things or you’ll lose your fucking mind.

But look, the pitching staff is what it is.  I hate to give another spin to this broken record, but this team is obviously only going to go as far as the offense will take it.  I get that sometimes you just don’t have it, but this is absolutely a game the Mariners should have won.  You’re telling me you can’t get three runs across on Bundy?  I know the game ended up 4-0 in favor of the Orioles, but if you push across three runs in six innings, then you’re looking at the teeth of the Mariners’ bullpen, not the likes of James Pazos and Casey Lawrence.  This is absolutely a missed opportunity, and one of the many games we can all look back on when the M’s miss out on the second Wild Card by a single game.

The Mariners try to salvage a 6-6 road trip this afternoon with Ariel Miranda going on get-away day.  Ubaldo Jimenez is as bad as it gets, so if the M’s can’t score any runs today, then I fucking quit.

Mariners Gag Away A Heartbreaker As Marco Gonzales Pitches Himself Out Of A Job

You can’t say the kid was robbed of his opportunity.  After getting his feet wet in Tacoma, the Mariners called him up at the beginning of the month; he’s had 5 starts in the month of August.  In exactly 0 of those starts did he go a minimum of 5 innings.  His ERA is 7.40 in that span, he’s averaged almost a homer-allowed per start, he gives up a ton of hits and for a guy who’s supposed to be known for his control, he sure does walk a lot of guys.  His change-up is supposed to be his best pitch, but boy do I see him leave that hanging out over the middle of the plate more than I see him striking guys out with it.

With his latest huge embarrassing failure yesterday – 3.1 innings, 5 runs – I think we’ve finally seen the last of him in the rotation.  It’ll be September the next time his turn comes up in the rotation, which means rosters will expand and we can bring up someone from Tacoma like Sam Gaviglio, who can at least get us through five fucking innings.

And yet, in spite of all that, the Mariners managed to scratch and claw their way to a 4-3 lead at one point, as well as a 6-6 tie after Gonzales was pulled.  Ben Gamel was the big stud of the day, with 2 hits (including a homer) and 5 RBI.  Valencia, Seager, and Cruz all chipped in on the day as well.  Unfortunately, the bullpen couldn’t be perfect.  The Mariners NEED the bullpen to be perfect if they’re going to win games like these, but it’s just not realistic to see that come to fruition.  Christian Bergman did a yeoman job getting through 2 innings, giving up just the one run (particularly getting out of the jam Gonzales put him in in the bottom of the fourth).  Emilio Pagan got through the final 2.2 innings to save the rest of the bullpen, but he too gave up a run, and that ended up being the decider.  The Mariners put the first two runners on in the top of the eighth, but couldn’t push either of them home and that was that.

What was once a tremendous start to this road trip as late as last Friday, has suddenly taken a sour turn over this 3-game losing streak.  The Mariners need to win one of the next two games to ensure at least a .500 road trip, which I think we all would’ve taken around this time two weeks ago.  But, considering the M’s started out 5-2, ending up with a 6-6 or 5-7 road trip would be a collosal disappointment.  Here’s hoping Erasmo Ramirez and Ariel Miranda can work some magic to right the ship.