Fun Times To Be Had At A Tacoma Rainiers Game

It was a spur of the moment situation.  I was home alone, sitting at my laptop, trying to figure out what I wanted to do for lunch.  There was Thai food, there was a bagel shop, there was a new pizza place I’ve yet to try, there was Round Table Pizza (which I love, and which has better-than-you’d-expect hot wings).  Then, a tweet came across my feed from the Tacoma Rainiers.  This weekend is Throwback Weekend, and on Saturday they were playing as the Tacoma Giants (1960-1965), with cool old school Tacoma Giants hats going to the first 1,000 fans in attendance (black back for 2/3 of the circumference, white front for 1/3 of the circumference, orange letter T with black outline, orange button on top, and orange curved bill.  Here’s a photo if you can’t picture it.

I wanted that hat as soon as I saw it.  I also figured a 5:05pm game at Cheney Stadium would be more fun than going to a movie (which was my original plan; I can still see A Quiet Place anytime), so I jumped at the opportunity.

Wanting to get there early enough to get a good parking spot, and ensure I got my hat, I left my house at around 3pm.  I live about 3 and a half miles from the stadium through town, so I wasn’t worried about the drive.  But, I wanted to gas up my car and get cash from my bank, so I wanted to get a jump on that, as the park opens up 90 minutes before gametime.  When I got to the gas station, I found something seriously wrong with my car; even though I clearly had less than a quarter of a tank, the gas pump was reading it as if my tank was full after less than a gallon had been put in.  Figuring this was some error with the car’s sensor, I tried to pump more gas into it and it started gushing out of the opening.  This was … a new problem for me.  I’ve never heard of this happening before.  I paid for what little gas I’d pumped and sat in my car, weighing my options.

Option 1 – go to the bank, get my cash, and go to the game anyway.  I have a 2017 Prius that I just bought in December, and while I didn’t have a ton of gas, I surely had enough to get me to Cheney Stadium and back, with enough left over to go back to the dealership for repairs.

Option 2 – go to the dealership right then and see if by the grace of God they could sneak me in today.

Considering I knew I had to be in Lynnwood the next day, I figured I didn’t have enough gas to get me there and back.  I didn’t want to drive my 1980 Camaro to Lynnwood and back because I’m trying to not put a ton of miles on it anymore.  I couldn’t skip out on going to Lynnwood, because it was for a going-away dinner for a buddy of mine who’s moving to Cleveland of all places.  And, I didn’t know when I’d have the time after that, as I have to work during the week (and commute back and forth to Seattle at that).  So, I went straight to the dealership.  Fortunately, they gave me a loaner, so I’m able to get around until they’re able to look at my Prius, which wasn’t going to happen for at least a couple days.

Luckily, I was in and out of there in time to still go to the Rainiers game.  I got there around 4pm – which is about 30 minutes later than I’d wanted – but they had plenty of hats left over, so I didn’t come away with nothing.

Boy, I’ll tell you, Cheney Stadium is really nice!  For less than $30, I was 7 rows up, just to the third base-side of home plate (basically between the dugout and home plate).  Here’s a photo of my view.  I guess they have tickets as low as $7?  It’s a remarkably good deal, any way you slice it (especially when you compare it to Mariners games at Safeco Field).

You’re not getting away with cheap food though.  It’s not ridiculously expensive, but you get the idea.  I paid, I dunno, $6-$8 for a footlong hot dog, and around that price for a footlong corndog.  I didn’t walk around pricing everything, but that’s the idea.  I also didn’t get any beer, so I have no idea what that was running, but I’m sure it wasn’t free.  If I would’ve gotten a seat in the first four rows (or thereabouts) behind home plate, it looked like they had a bunch of free food and/or waiters walking around taking your order (presumably for drinks?).  I don’t know what those seats cost, but it could very well be a nice deal with the food spread factored in.  Also, while Cheney doesn’t have regular outfield seating you’d find at Safeco, there are some field-level seats out in left field that look pretty slick.  Imagine if the Safeco bullpen areas had a net in front of them instead of a wall, and you could just sit there; I don’t know what these tickets cost either, but I know I want to try it sometime.

If you just want a cheap, fun day at the ballpark though, you’ll find plenty of seats with sick views of the field for less than $20.  There’s also a little grass hill down the first base line where I assume you sit the cheapest.  And, I think there’s like a party deck place or something that you can get a seat in, with close access to alcohol stands and whatnot.  I dunno, check out the website and figure it out!

Casey Lawrence got the start in this one, and an error by the first baseman cost him a possible double play (it for-sure cost him one out, and one of the two runs he gave up that inning).  Overall, he wasn’t super sharp, but he finished his day by getting 7 strikeouts for his last 7 outs; he went 4 innings, giving up 3 runs (2 earned, officially).  Josh Smith followed, going 3 innings, giving up 4 runs (2 earned, thanks to a bad error by the right fielder); Dario Alvarez went the final 2 innings, giving up 1 run.

Down 7-0 in the bottom of the 6th inning, the Rainiers mounted a rally, loading the bases on singles before a sac fly and a 2-run error made it 7-3.  The Rainiers made it interesting in the bottom of the 8th, but could only add on one more run.  The Sacramento River Cats extended the lead to 8-4, and the Rainiers couldn’t do much of anything against a guy throwing 96 mph smoke in the bottom of the 9th.

I kept score of the game in the little program they were handing out (of course, I had to buy a Rainiers souvenir pen, because I always forget to bring my own pens to these things when I’m by myself and want to keep score), which I haven’t done in ages.  I still get a kick out of it, because I’m a boring dork, but that’s neither here nor there.

I’m planning on going to a lot more games in the future.  I mean, I might as well, right?  I’m living in Tacoma for the foreseeable future, and I’ve got a lot of free time to myself.  Not enough time to warrant season tickets (or any of the season ticket packages, as I never know when other plans might crop up), but still, I hope to take advantage of more of these spur of the moment type deals.

It’s a pain in the ass for people from up north to come down to Tacoma, and I get that; I make that drive at least 4 days a week when I find myself visiting Seattle for work or leisure.  But, if you’ve got a day to kill, it’s highly worth your while.  Tacoma’s got a lot of cool things going on; great bar scene, great food spots if you know where to look.  Come early and stay late!  You can’t let the concept of shitty I-5 traffic run your whole life!

The Mariners Blew The Minnesota Home Opener

There was a time early last season when I took it upon myself to try and track the numbers for Mariners hitters with RISP.  That was because the M’s started off abnormally bad in this area, and I was curious to see how bad it could get, or how long that badness would remain.  Those numbers started to normalize as we got into late April and May, but for a while there, it was pretty dire!  And the team really struggled as a result.

I don’t know if that’s been as big of an issue thus far, through a week’s worth of games, but a performance like yesterday (2/17 with RISP) is pretty much as bad as it gets.  The Mariners were getting on base like crazy yesterday, with 8 hits, 4 walks, and 2 Twins errors.  There were only 2 clean innings for the Twins’ pitching staff/defense, and yet the Mariners were only able to muster 2 fucking runs, both in the first inning.  Pathetic, all the way around, and a game the Mariners absolutely should’ve won, Cruz or no Cruz.

For a while there, it looked like we might pull it out.  Paxton was dealing through five innings.  But, getting into that third time through the lineup, Joe Mauer singled to lead off the bottom of the sixth, and Miguel Sano smashed him in with a 2-run jack.  It’s funny how much lip service the Mariners were paying to this notion of limiting the exposure of our starting pitching, and utilizing this massive bullpen we’ve accumulated.  But, Scott Servais has really just been managing like every other fucking manager since the dawn of time.  We’re in the midst of 4 off days in 2 weeks; there will never be this many rest days outside of the All Star Break the rest of the season.  Also, we’re rocking a 4-man rotation, which means we have an 8-man bullpen.  No one as of yet has been worked to death.  And we ALL know the numbers of just about every single hitter when he sees the same pitcher for the third time in a game.  And yeah, I get it, Paxton’s pitch count was low, and he was kicking ass up to that point.  But, how many times do you see that?  It happens ALL THE TIME.  Guys dominate, then they get into the 6th inning or whatever, and all of a sudden the other team is hitting tee shots off of him.  All it takes is a weird bloop single and one bad pitch that catches too much of the plate, and BAM, 2-run home run.  A 2-0 game becomes a 2-2 game.  Then, you try to squeeze an extra few outs out of Dan Altavilla, and BAM again, you’re down 3-2.  Then, the stupid fucking umpire botches an OBVIOUS called strike 3, followed by the hitter taking that gift and turning it into another solo homer on the very next pitch, and BAM, it’s 4-2 and you’re sucking Fernando Rodney’s arrow-shaped dick in the ninth.

Just stop pissing down my leg and telling me it’s raining, that’s all.  If you’re going to talk about lightening the loads of these starting pitchers, then STICK TO IT!  Pull them after the second time through the lineup (unless the offense has it out of reach, but only walk that tightrope if we have a 3 run lead or more).  THIS IS WHERE THE GAME IS GOING!  Shorter starting stints, and supplement that with longer bullpen arms.  Altavilla is never going to be a competent multi-inning reliever; he’s a 1-and-done guy.  I’m talking about having more Wade LeBlancs, more Casey Lawrences, and save those hyper-power arms for the 8th and 9th innings.

One more note about the offense before I close this out.  8 hits, none of them for extra bases.  That’s fucking absurd.  I know with Cruz and Zunino out, our power is limited, but where are the doubles?  Yeah, it’s nice that Vogelbach had 2 more hits to add to his hot start, but where’s the power?  What about Jean Segura?  He had 30+ doubles the last two years; he’s got 2 through 6 games so far.  And Ryon Healy, so help me God, what a fucking BUST this guy is!  WHOSE DICK DO YOU GOTTA SUCK TO BRING IN EVEN A DECENT-HITTING FIRST BASEMAN???  Also, you still spell your name like a fucking asshole.

Another Friday off-day.  Cool.

The Mariners Kicked Off 2018 With A Series Win Over The Indians

Saturday didn’t go quite as expected, following Thursday’s miracle victory over Corey Kluber on Opening Day.  James Paxton took the hill for Game 2 and was supposed to dominate, as is his Canadian way.  Instead, he was blasted for a first inning Grand Slam, and ultimately gave up 6 runs in just under 5 innings to take the L.  The bullpen – led by Casey Lawrence’s 2.2 innings of shutout relief – kept the team in it, as the offense chipped away at the deficit.  Homers by Haniger and Cruz (and RBI singles by Cano and Segura) made it a 6-5 game, but that’s where it remained, as the M’s really couldn’t do anything against Cleveland’s superior late-inning relief corps.

This put Sunday’s game in real jeopardy.  Thankfully, the pitching and hitting were up to the task.

Mike Leake started off the year just as strong as he finished 2017, going 7 innings, giving up just 2 runs on 5 hits and 3 walks, while striking out 4.  RBI doubles by Segura and Seager tied the game in the fifth inning, and homers by Gordon and Haniger put the game away in the seventh.  Juan Nicasio did his damnedest to almost blow it in the eighth, with a 2-run homer given up.  But, Edwin Diaz was on fire in the ninth to put the game away, and earn his second save of the short season.

Mitch Haniger is on an absolute tear through three games, with a double, 2 homers, 3 RBI, and a whopping 2.227 OPS.  Cano, Cruz, and Gordon are all off to hot starts at the plate as well (though Cruz apparently twisted his ankle on Saturday – after his second homer in two games – and may or may not miss some extended time).  Segura started to pick things up in yesterday’s game, and Ichiro and Seager have had their moments.

The defense played particularly well in this series, with Gordon flashing the leather all over the place.  Ichiro stole a homer on Saturday.  The backup catchers (with Zunino starting the season on the DL) have blocked a number of important pitches, and Ryon Healy – while doing nothing with his bat – has picked a number of tough balls on throws to first.

The injury to Cruz follows in a long line of hilarious injuries, as he did it while slipping on stairs in the dugout or some damn thing.  I mean, what fucking ancient gypsy witch cursed this team?  If you find out, let me know so we can cut her fucking heart out.  I’d like to say when he and Zunino return, this team is going to look unstoppable on offense, but that would presume we won’t have another five injuries happen between now and then!

Still, pretty cool to take 2/3 against the Indians, who look great and figure to be in the hunt for the best record in baseball.  Now, we hit the road, and for some reason have three more off-days in the next two weeks.  We also feature as the opponent in home openers for San Francisco (tomorrow) and Minnesota (Thursday).  Also, lots of day games in this stretch, so it’s truly one of the oddest starts to a season in recent memory.

Tomorrow, Marco Gonzales gets his first start of the season, before the rotation turns over with Felix again on Wednesday.  Assuming Cruz won’t play the next few days, I’m curious to see what we’ve got in Dan Vogelbach.  Ryon Healy already looks pretty miserable at the plate, and Vogelbach wasn’t able to muster much more than a few futile swings and misses in his start at DH yesterday.  The long national nightmare of a black hole at first base continues apace.

My 2-Part Mariners Preview: My Expectations For 2018

Wish in one hand, shit in the other.  You get the idea.

And so here we are, Opening Day.  We’re all overflowing with optimism.  Well, not all of us.  Super annoying baseball fans are overflowing with optimism, but what do they know?  They’re just excited baseball’s back, as if it’s not the longest death march every fucking year.  Six months of this shit, plus a month of playoffs (or, hell, maybe more).  It starts today and lasts the rest of our fucking lives.

You want my opinion on the 2018 season?  MOOD.

I dunno, I feel like I’ve written this same exact fucking preview every year for the last decade.  Honestly, I can see this season going one of two ways:  either the Mariners do shock the world and break the playoff-less streak, or they completely and totally fall apart and end up with a Top 5 draft pick next year.  I don’t think there’s a middle-ground, at all.  And, if I were a betting man, I’d bet the ol’ farm on the latter.

So, let’s get into it.  Let’s talk about the plan; the bundle of twine and duct tape holding the season together.  Let’s see how Jerry Dipoto and Scott Servais try to MacGyver their way to contention.

The Rotation

  • Felix Hernandez
  • James Paxton
  • Mike Leake
  • Marco Gonzales
  • Erasmo Ramirez
  • Ariel Miranda
  • Andrew Moore
  • Rob Whalen
  • Chase De Jong
  • Wade LeBlanc
  • Hisashi Iwakuma?

Normally, I just hit you with a 5-man rotation (in this case, the top five names, whenever Ramirez gets healthy), but why bother stopping there?  Ramirez is ALREADY injured, and while they say they won’t need the fifth spot in the rotation until April 11th or some damn thing, you know he won’t be healthy by then, so that puts Ariel Miranda (blessedly starting the season in Tacoma, where he belongs) in line for at least one start.  Quite frankly, it wouldn’t shock me in the slightest if he’s called up sooner than April 11th because someone ELSE got injured.  I’m looking at Felix, I’m looking at Paxton, I’m looking at Marco Gonzales.  Pick your poison!

And believe me, they’re all poison.  I’d start aligning your expectations with mine pretty soon, because there’s no saving this rotation.  It’s abysmal.  Felix is not the Felix of old and he’s never going to be.  He’s going to give up annoying dingers with his nothing fastball, he’s going to walk a ton of guys because hitters have been told to lay off the changeup, and he’ll kinda sorta keep the Mariners in a lot of games, but only if the offense comes to play.

Paxton is great, but obviously can’t stay healthy and never will.  It’s always some damn thing, and the saving grace has always been that it’s never anything really serious.  It’s never a bad shoulder or elbow injury … but you know they’re coming.  It’s only a matter of time.  And, when those injuries hit, his career is pretty much over.  Maybe just rent property in the Maple Grove, don’t buy.

I like the IDEA of Mike Leake more than I think I like the actual pitcher.  I think he’s just okay, but far from special.  He’ll be like Felix in a different way; he’ll probably keep this team in a lot of games (again, if the offense shows up), but he’s rarely going to wow you with his stuff or blow other teams away.

I don’t even really like the idea of Marco Gonzales, much less the actual pitcher.  I think it was a bust of a trade that brought him here, I think he’s only in the rotation because he’s out of minor league options, and while he had a good Spring Training, we all know that means nothing.  These types of pitchers (go ahead and throw Erasmo Ramirez into the mix – who had a great stretch of starts last year, but don’t expect THAT to last), who are just gifted a spot on a 25-man roster due to being out of options, RARELY end up panning out.  If they were worth a damn, they would’ve solidified their status as bona fide Major Leaguers a long time ago.  What are the odds they manage to put it all together – COINCIDENTALLY – the same year they run out of minor league options?  You see my point.

The rest of those guys are just guys.  Iwakuma will never pitch in the Major Leagues again.  Wade LeBlanc has been brought in to be a long reliever, but I could see him getting a spot start or two.  Andrew Moore sucked last year, and didn’t really wow anyone with his Spring.  Chase De Jong is just a guy.  And, while Rob Whalen turned some heads (until his disaster of a final start back on the 18th), he also appears to be just a guy.

The plan with this rotation is to try and limit their innings to 5-6 per start, in the hopes of keeping guys fresh and healthy, and limit the damage opposing offenses can do the third & fourth times through a lineup.  So, the day-to-day management on Servais’ shoulders is going to be pretty hefty.  That’s also going to put a high burden on the bullpen to pick up the slack.  And, since Major League Baseball has stubbornly refused to expand gameday rosters beyond 25 players (in spite of the fact that the game is obviously going in this direction, and therefore teams will need more arms than ever before), that either means over-working your ‘pen, playing with a smaller bench (as it is, there’s usually room for no more than 4 players on your bench, and 1 of those guys has to be a backup catcher), or running guys back and forth from Tacoma to Seattle.  The problem, of course, is when too many starters have too many games in a row where they’re not pitching enough innings, the bullpen is gassed, there aren’t any off-days, there aren’t any guys to bring up from Tacoma, and you’re essentially throwing games away because you just need the starter to pick the team up, regardless of how terrible he is.  With a team like this Mariners team – that often finds itself (in recent seasons) only a handful of games out of the playoffs – they can ill-afford to just throw games away.  Sure, it’s a marathon and all that, but it’s a marathon that ultimately comes down to a couple seconds at the finish line.

I think the Mariners are doing the best with what they have, and the plan is sound in my mind.  But, the pitchers just aren’t good.  And the ones that are good aren’t reliable.  It’s easy for me to see a similar deluge of injuries happening this year, and the whole season just falling apart.

The Bullpen

  • Edwin Diaz
  • Juan Nicasio
  • Nick Vincent
  • James Pazos
  • Marc Rzepczynski
  • Dan Altavilla
  • Casey Lawrence
  • Wade LeBlanc

There are obviously a number of guys starting out in Tacoma, so I’ll stick with the Opening Day 8 for the time being.  Right off the bat, the Mariners lost David Phelps for the season, as I believe he’s going in for Tommy John surgery.  That was going to be a huge part of our late-inning dominance.  Recall we just traded a bunch of prospects to the Marlins for his services before the deadline last year, where he made all of 10 appearances before being shut down with an injury.  Now, he’s out for all of 2018, and this is the final year of his deal before he’s a free agent.  So, not only did we throw a bunch of prospects away, but we wasted $5.5 million dollars this year, just so he can go out next year and pitch for somebody else.  Why would he stay?  Why would the Mariners commit to spending more money on him?  This is Drew Smyly all over again.  GREAT TRADE DIPOTO!

As for the guys who are here, there’s a lot to like about Edwin Diaz and Juan Nicasio.  But, of course, when will Diaz turn back into a pumpkin?  All our other closers – dating back to, I want to say, Kaz Sasaki – have had 1-2 good years before falling apart.  Well, Diaz has been up here for around 1.5 years, so it’s time for him to suck.  As for Nicasio, I’m getting a real Joaquin Benoit vibe.  Remember that guy?  He was around forever, never got hurt, was always a reliable 8th inning guy?  Then, when he donned a Mariners jersey, he was hurt within the first month of the season?  I’m just saying, let’s see the guy do something for a couple months before we get too excited.

Nick Vincent was a workhorse and our most reliable pitcher in 2017.  Of course, he got tuckered out in September, due to all the overuse, so they took it easy on him this Spring.  Yeah, I feel like that’s a bad sign.  If he’s not an arm injury waiting to happen, he’s certainly a terrible pitching season waiting to happen.  Pass.

Lefties Pazos and Scrabble should be okay, but you never know.  Tony Zych was finally shit-canned because he can’t stay healthy; that’s a bummer.  I loved his stuff and thought he had really dominant potential.  In his place, Altavilla has won a job.  He was all over the place last year, but it wouldn’t shock me to see him settle down and have a good year.  Might take a while for this team to realize how much better he is than someone like Vincent (who I expect to struggle early and often), but they’ll probably have no choice but to use Altavilla in some high-leverage situations before too long.

Then, we’ve got a couple of long relievers.  The Mariners brought in Wade LeBlanc, who I guess has been converted to relief?  He’s got no minor league options, so either he comes here and eats up innings like a champ, or he’s cut.  The problem with this signing is, if he’s not absolutely terrific, I have a hard time seeing him stick on the 25-man roster.  This team likes to bring guys up from Tacoma far too often, and needs relievers with minor league options so they can dick them around.  That’s why I like the chances of someone like Casey Lawrence (who I assume still has options, but I refuse to go online to research).  Lawrence had a bonzer Spring Training and essentially came out of nowhere to win a job in the Bigs (he was a starter last year, brought up & down a few times when guys got injured, but wasn’t anything special).  I assume if he does well, he’ll STILL be sent back and forth to and from Tacoma, because Mariners gonna Mariners.

Having a couple of innings-eaters in your bullpen is going to be critical, so here’s hoping those guys manage to keep us in enough games to be relevant.  But, the more of our back-end of the bullpen guys get injured or otherwise have terrible years, the higher the chances this entire house of cards comes crashing down.  To make the playoffs, the Mariners will need to have one of the 5 best bullpens in the American League (maybe even Top 3), to compensate for that disaster of a starting rotation.  Do these guys inspire that sort of confidence?  I gotta say, replacing David Phelps with Wade LeBlanc is a BAD start to this season that’s only going to get worse from here.

The Everyday Players

  1. Dee Gordon (CF)
  2. Jean Segura (SS)
  3. Robinson Cano (2B)
  4. Nelson Cruz (DH)
  5. Kyle Seager (3B)
  6. Mitch Haniger (RF)
  7. Ryon Healy (1B)
  8. Mike Zunino (C)
  9. Ichiro (LF)
  • Mike Marjama (C)
  • Dan Vogelbach (1B)
  • Guillermo Heredia (OF)
  • Andrew Romine (INF)
  • Ben Gamel (OF) – DL
  • Taylor Motter (OF/INF) – Tacoma

I like that lineup.  I like it a lot more with Ben Gamel in the fold, but we probably won’t see him at his best for a while.

I expect Gordon to be fine defensively, but I do expect him to struggle at the plate.  That’ll be rough.  I think Segura will be fine.  I think Cano will be okay (I think we’re still in the gradual stage of his decline; I don’t believe the cliff is here yet).  I think Cruz will have his ups and downs (I could see him succumbing more to injury this year than his past 4 years combined).  Kyle Seager is what he is and I’m going to stop trying to wish into existence another level to his game.  I think Hangier will be good when healthy, but again I think he’ll rarely be healthy.  I think Healy is sort of a nothing guy who might have a few good games here and there, but for the most part will be mediocre.  I think Zunino will be great!  I like him to make a big jump in his game!  Not only will he NOT be sent down to Tacoma to work on his swing, but I think he’ll be in the conversation for the All Star Game (and might even make the team as a backup).  As for Ichiro, I can only see it ending badly.  Final year with Griffey bad.  Like, waived in the first month or two bad.  He’s got no power, he’s down in speed, he had pretty much no Spring Training, and he’s coming off of a minor injury.  Just seems like a recipe for immediate disaster.

I’m interested to see what Marjama brings; I have no opinion one way or the other on what his season will be like.  Vogelbach is the story of Spring Training, but that won’t last.  He won’t get much in the way of playing time, and when he does get a start, he won’t make the most of his opportunities.  Heredia is a nice bench outfielder; hope he’s fully healthy.  Romine is a guy; I could see him getting waived in favor of Motter (who also is just a guy, but a younger, cheaper guy).

This season will go down the toilet in a hurry if guys like Cano, Cruz, and Seager all struggle.  I like Segura to hit, but I could see his power continue to be limited by Safeco and this cold Seattle weather.  And, of course, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that younger guys like Haniger and Zunino do struggle at the plate (injuries aside) and this team is left scrambling.  For the most part, I believe the offense will be okay, and I don’t think ALL those bad things will happen, but I don’t think the offense is good enough to compensate for the shitty pitching.  Frankly, I don’t think ANY offense would be good enough to compensate for the shitty pitching on this team.

The last couple times the Mariners really bottomed out, we went 61-101 (in 2008 & 2010).  I could see something around that number yet again.  My prediction?

65-97

The 2018 Seattle Mariners:  Feel The Excitement It’s Faaaaannnn-Tastic Suck Our Dicks, You’re Just Here For The Beer & Fried Crickets Anyway!

Do The Mariners Have One More Playoff Push In Them?

Last night, the Mariners beat the Angels 8-1 to come within one game of sweeping them in this 3-game series.  A 3-game sweep would, incidentally, put them in a dead heat with the Angels, if they can get there this afternoon.  After today, there are 18 games remaining in this absurd baseball season.  The Mariners are within striking distance at 3 games out, but this is it!  The time to strike is NOW!  The Mariners need to rip off a super hot streak the rest of the way and sprint to this finish line!

We got another impressive start from Andrew Albers, with 6 innings of shutout ball.  Even more impressive was the Mariners’ offense, who ripped off a 6-spot in the bottom of the fourth to put this thing away early.  After Albers, we made it the last three innings with our D-squad bullpen guys (Altavilla, Simmons and Lawrence) just giving up one garbage-time run.

Mitch Haniger was just a double away from the cycle (and one base-runner away from getting a fifth at bat to try to get that double), knocking one in and scoring three times.  Nelson Cruz added another mammoth 3-run homer and Robbie Cano had 3 hits, 2 RBI, and a run scored.  For what it’s worth, Haniger has come back to life lately.  I hope that means he’s fully healthy and getting back to the hitter he was in April (and not, say, just a fluke).

I don’t know how much longer we can ride this gravy train, but Erasmo Ramirez goes for his sixth consecutive quality start this afternoon.  Please, dear God, give this to me!

Mariners Pull Off Brilliant Comeback To Get Back To .500

That game had it all!  Yovani Gallardo struggling to get through three innings, giving up 2 runs in the process (and lucky it wasn’t a fuckload more); Casey Lawrence relieving him in the fourth and absolutely imploding, giving up 4 runs in 0.1 innings; necessitating recently called up reliever Ryan Garton to come in and finish it out; followed by Marco Gonzales – in his new relief role – going a whopping FOUR shutout innings to keep the Mariners in the ballgame.

You want your game MVP?  You start with Marco Gonzales.  Never thought I’d say that before.

Robbie Cano got off the schneid, hitting his first homer since July 22nd, a 2-run job back in the third to momentarily tie the game.  With the A’s re-taking the lead at 6-2 in the top of the fourth, as Gonzales kept the evil forces at bay, the offense went to work.

Segura and Alonso hit back-to-back solo jobs in the fifth to make it 6-4.  Then, an inning later, Segura doubled home Zunino to make it 6-5; and two innings after that, Zunino hit a solo shot to deep right-center to tie the game at 6-6.  Edwin Diaz – in a non-save situation, because tie games in the ninth will never have a save situation the rest of the way at home – locked it down for one more shot to win it before extras.

Segura led off the inning by reaching on an error to first.  Alonso hit a single to move him to third, and Cano was intentionally walked to load the bases with nobody out and Cruz & Seager due up.  Would this be the greatest Marinering of all time?

ALMOST!

Cruz struck out for the second time on the day, and has really looked bad at the plate in recent games.  After some outfield shuffling – to get Khris Davis’ noodle arm out of left, as if Bob Melvin had sensed something in the force – Seager hit a shallow fly ball to left field of all places.  On Khris Davis, the M’s might’ve sent Segura home on a tag; without Khris Davis, the M’s had to hold.  Two outs.

That brought up Mitch Haniger, who worked the count just enough to have their pitcher throw a wild pitch through the legs of the catcher.  Segura came scrambling home, and the Mariners won it!

Afternoon game today to get the sweep.  Don’t fail me now!  Don’t forget what the Astros are bringing to town!

Mediocre Baltimore Pitcher Shuts Out Mariners

Dylan Bundy.  Grandmaster D.  Plenty of teams have scored off of him.  In fact, in MOST GAMES teams have scored off of him.  But, with the Mariners in town – CLEARLY exhausted from this punishing road trip in this ridiculous August schedule – he was able to shut us out over 9 innings, allowing one infield hit, walking 2, and striking out 12.

Overused memes are overused …

I’m sure having Bundy throw 116 pitches will have no effect whatsoever on his arm, given his extensive injury history.

Yeah, I just think the Mariners are tired.  I think a 2-week East Coast road trip for a team from Seattle this late in the season is patently absurd and Major League Baseball should be ashamed.  Say what you want about the NFL, but at least they go to great pains to try to make a fair schedule for everyone; this bullshit where the Mariners have to play 21 out of 28 games on the road is some fucking next-level schedule trolling.

Still, the M’s picked a pretty shitty time to waste a quality start.  Erasmo Ramirez is on the roll of his life, with this his fourth game where he’s gone 6 innings while giving up 3 runs or less.  To wit:  6 innings, 5 hits, 2 walks, 2 runs, 7 strikeouts.  I don’t want to know how the sausage is made; I don’t want to hear about how unsustainable it is; I just want to sit here and enjoy it.  Obviously, it won’t last, but given the state of this rotation – where we’re about to go a full turn without a win – you have to try to appreciate the little things or you’ll lose your fucking mind.

But look, the pitching staff is what it is.  I hate to give another spin to this broken record, but this team is obviously only going to go as far as the offense will take it.  I get that sometimes you just don’t have it, but this is absolutely a game the Mariners should have won.  You’re telling me you can’t get three runs across on Bundy?  I know the game ended up 4-0 in favor of the Orioles, but if you push across three runs in six innings, then you’re looking at the teeth of the Mariners’ bullpen, not the likes of James Pazos and Casey Lawrence.  This is absolutely a missed opportunity, and one of the many games we can all look back on when the M’s miss out on the second Wild Card by a single game.

The Mariners try to salvage a 6-6 road trip this afternoon with Ariel Miranda going on get-away day.  Ubaldo Jimenez is as bad as it gets, so if the M’s can’t score any runs today, then I fucking quit.

The Mariners’ Offense Caught The Red Eye To Atlanta Before The Finale Yesterday

What a waste of a perfectly good Yovani Gallardo start!  I mean, he won’t win any awards for going 6.1 innings and giving up 3 runs, but he pitched into the seventh inning for the first time in forever, and until that knockout 2-run homer, he was on a pretty good roll!

The offense just brought nothing to the table.  3 hits and 2 walks, that’s it.  0 for 1 with RISP, and just 4 LOB.  It obviously didn’t help that Seager got the day off, as he’s recovering from his stomach bug, but it’s just a bummer the team couldn’t complete the sweep when it was right there for the taking.

In other roster transaction news, Casey Lawrence was brought back up.  He was sent down for Sam Gaviglio the other day, but with Jarrod Dyson going on the DL, we were allowed to swap those pitchers right back.  Also, Taylor Motter made his return – starting for Seager yesterday – as it looks like we may have seen the last of Danny Espinosa.  Try to keep that name in mind, as he’s sure to be an occasional answer on those Lookout Landing Sporcle quizzes.  The Danny Espinosa Era consisted of 3 hits in 16 at bats across 8 games, 2 of them doubles, with 2 runs scored & 2 RBI.

In spite of the downer of an ending, the road trip overall is off to a fine start.  We put just a little bit of distance between us and the Rays, one of our competitors for that second Wild Card spot, and we’re still hanging in there overall, 1.5 games behind Anaheim.  Now we go to Atlanta, where quite frankly we should dominate.  Whether we will or not is, of course, anybody’s guess.  It’s going to be pretty fucking depressing if we go out and tank this series.

In Injured Pitching News, I heard that all our guys – Phelps, Paxton, Felix, and even Kuma – are on some sort of throwing programs and hence on the mend.  Some guys are closer than others, and I’m sure that will make itself known to me at some point soon.

The Mariners Stop The Bleeding

Of course, there’s more than one way to stop the bleeding.  For instance, there’s physically running out of blood!

The Mariners got the W, though.  That’s all that matters, I guess.  Before the game, a number of moves were made:

  • Andrew Albers was called up
  • Sam Gaviglio was called up
  • Casey Lawrence was sent to Tacoma
  • Thyago Vieira was sent to Tacoma
  • Christian Bergman was DFA’d

Albers we knew would be our starter last night.  Lawrence we had a pretty good idea would be going back down, since he pitched 4 innings the night before, and Servais is on record as saying the Seattle-Tacoma shuttle is going to be in full effect for the rest of August.  Vieira was also used the night before, and was really only up here for depth until we needed to activate Albers.  Gaviglio makes as much sense as anyone to come back to Seattle.  He can start, if the team feels like making a move (*cough* GALLARDO *cough*), or he can slide into a long relief role, which is probably what will happen.  As for Bergman, we needed room on the 40-man for Albers, and if I’m not mistaken, we were able to DFA Bergman earlier this season and still retain him in Tacoma.  I can’t imagine the market for a pitcher like Bergman is very big, unless Jerry Dipoto has a twin brother who is also a Major League GM.

Albers looked good!  Kind of a shock to the system, but that’ll happen when you’ve done nothing but throw shit against the wall for the last week trying to see what’ll stick.  5 innings, 6 hits, 1 walk, 1 run, 4 strikeouts.  The run was of the solo homer variety, but it’s not like we haven’t seen that before, from everyone else in this God-foresaken rotation.  I’ll hold back on making any grand sweeping statements of positivity until I see him make a second start in a Mariners uniform, if it’s all the same to you.

At 3-1, this was the rare Mariners victory where the good guys scored less than 4 runs.  The Mariners are now 60-61 on the season; this is only the FIFTH time the Mariners have won a game while scoring less than 4 runs, which is simply astonishing, yet it also explains literally everything about this year.  In fact, 5-42 is the Mariners’ record when scoring less than 4 runs, which means they’re 55-19 (.743) when they score 4 runs or more.  Holy mother of God.

Segura & Heredia get some kudos for having 2 hits apiece at the top of the lineup.  Cano and Cruz had an RBI apiece, which is nice considering Seager was out with an illness.

The lion’s share of the kudos go to the bullpen, though.  Emilio Pagan relieved Albers and went two very strong shutout innings, striking out 4.  Scrabble and Vincent combined to lock down the eighth, and Diaz got his 26th save.  Now that’s more like it!

The victory, combined with losses for all the teams ahead of the Mariners for the second Wild Card spot, means we’re back to 1.5 games back.  It won’t mean much if the Mariners can’t keep it up.  Winning this afternoon would be a good start.  After that, it’s an off-day, followed by a 2-week East Coast trip to Tampa, Atlanta, New York (Yankees), and Baltimore.

Maybe it’s best for the M’s to get out of town for a while.  If they’re going to totally implode, might as well be away from the booing onslaught of the hometown crowd at Safeco Field.  Then, when they get back and it’s officially football season, we’ll all resume not giving a shit.

Baseball!  Catch the excitement!

Seattle Mariners – Totally And Royally Fucked Up

I got nothing.  Five losses in a row, all at home, all against teams you’re directly competing against for the Wild Card.

This one was on Gallardo, because he’s a piece of shit, no-dick loser who gave up 8 runs in 4 innings.  He forced the M’s to use Casey Lawrence for 4 innings, who gave up 3 runs of his own.  The only even REMOTELY interesting thing about this game was the Major League Debut of Thyago Vieira, who’s able to hit 100mph on the reg.  He struck out 1 in his 1 inning of work.

The offense, again, didn’t do a whole lot, but what do you expect?  First pitch of the game, Gallardo gave up a homer.  The M’s were able to get one back in the bottom half of the first, but not to be out-done, Gallardo proceeded to give up 6 more runs in the second.  Just like that, it’s 7-1 and we can all go fuck ourselves.

I know it’s standard operating procedure for the Mariners to have these runs of brilliance, followed by these soul-crushing runs of ineptitude, but as you probably gleaned by now, it’s getting a little late in the season for this bullshit.  At this point, I have to start wondering if it’s the pressure.  If it’s just too much for this team.  Are they not able to handle success?  Is the thought of a playoff Mariners team so foreign to them that it melts their brains?  Believe you me, if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes lo those 16 years ago, I don’t think I’d believe it myself.

This loss drops the Mariners to 2.5 games out of the second Wild Card.  59-61, tied with Tampa, behind the likes of Anaheim, Minnesota, Kansas City, and Baltimore; just a half game ahead of Texas and a full game ahead of Toronto.

Today, we get the Mariners debut of Andrew Albers.  He last started a game in the Majors in September of last year.  He’s been killing it in AAA this year in the Braves’ organization and recently came over in a trade for cash or some damn thing.  I’m sure he’s terrible; nothing to see here.

I’m starting to really regret the decision to write a post for every single Mariners game.