Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team: Week 13

I’m a man on the brink of destruction.

I took another one on the chin this week, losing to Space Forcin’ 178.53 to 170.70.  I had an opportunity, but I froze, and it bit me in the ass.  If I’d picked up Chase Daniel and dropped Derek Carr, that would’ve been the difference.  Space Forcin’ had Daniel going on Thursday, so of course he blew up for 25 points.  There were any number of other issues – JuJu Smith-Schuster scoring on a 90+ yard touchdown against the inept Denver Broncos secondary, Philip Rivers being unstoppable; or on my team getting another crap game from Wentz, AP and Greg Olsen – but the bottom line is if I couldn’t beat a team with Mahomes on BYE and with Kamara getting under 12 points, then I just don’t deserve to win.

So, this is it.  The final week of the regular season.  I’m 5-7, in 6th place.  Still 3rd in points scored; still 2nd in points against.  This year is a clusterfuck of epic proportions.  The team ahead of me is 6-6; I can only pass him if I win and he loses (because I’m way ahead of him in points).  The team behind me is also 5-7.  If I lose and he wins, I’m out of the playoffs.  If he loses, I’m in the playoffs regardless (because, again, I’m way ahead of him in points).

I don’t deserve any of this.  But, I also deserve every single bit of this.  Because I play this stupid fucking game by choice; no one’s putting a gun to my head!  I could quit any time.  And yet I continue to put myself through this.  I’m miserable all day Sunday as I obsessively check score updates; I’m miserable all day Monday as I sweat out yet another close game.  I’m miserable Tuesday through Saturday because I’m in this fucking position of having one of the three best teams in the league while on the outside-looking-in.  I need a miracle and the guy I need to win next week just lost Alex Smith and Jack Doyle.

As for my team, I lost Andy Dalton for the year, so that’s fun.  Thankfully, I wasn’t planning on playing him ever.  Jameis Winston is now my Ride Or Die #2 QB, so I’ll live and die with a potential 4-INT game hanging over my head.  Before Monday Night’s game, I dropped Dalton for Derrick Henry, but I never expected to hang onto him long.  Indeed, I was able to flip him for Philly’s Josh Adams.  It’s Week 13, I’m not gonna make a waiver claim and NOT play him immediately!  So, he slots in for Carson.  I do think Carson will play well against the 49ers – and watch this be the game he scores 3 TDs – but I think Adams is going to be more reliable, more explosive, and more of a workhorse over Seattle’s committee.  Plus, this way, if Carson stinks, I don’t have to sit there being miserable the entire afternoon.

No more BYE weeks to kick me around, so here’s this week’s lineup:

  • QB1 – Carson Wentz vs. WAS
  • QB2 – Jameis Winston vs. CAR
  • WR1 – Tyreek Hill @ OAK
  • WR2 – Adam Thielen @ NE
  • RB1 – Ezekiel Elliott vs. NO
  • RB2 – Josh Adams vs. WAS
  • TE – Greg Olsen @ TB
  • FLEX – Robert Woods @ DET
  • K – Matt Bryant vs. BAL
  • DEF – Chicago @ NYG

My bench is:  Carr, Peterson, Boyd, Carson, Brown, Bell (IR).

This week I’m going up against Korky Butchek again.  He’s the #2 team in the league, in record and in points.  I’m not posting his lineup because I don’t give a fuck anymore.  I’m not obsessing over this thing like I’ve been doing.  My lineups are set in all my leagues, I’ll check before game times to make sure there are no injury/inactive surprises.  But, once 10am on Sunday rolls around, I’m not opening up Yahoo again until Tuesday morning.  I don’t want to know who my opponent has going this week, because I don’t want to feel that pang of misery every time I see one of his guys scores a touchdown.  I just want to watch football and try to enjoy myself.  If I make the playoffs, great.  If I don’t, then whatever, I’ll try to rip shit up in the Consolation Bracket.

I should be favored in all those games – barring more injuries – because I’m far and away better than the bottom 4 teams.  So, watch me lose in the first week.

Every year I tinker with the thought of quitting fantasy football.  That urge is going to be tough to beat after this season if I’m eliminated from the playoffs.  I mean, how is this fun?  What makes this a worthwhile endeavor?  These are the questions I’ll be asking myself in the weeks ahead.