Could The Seahawks Be Okay At Quarterback?

Recently, I wrote about the Seahawks roster at every position other than quarterback. The conclusion I came to was that there’s potential for improvement, but still probably too many holes to fill in this one offseason. If enough draft picks and whatnot pan out, maybe we can head into 2023 and do enough damage in free agency to lift us back into the playoffs.

My take on the quarterback position, however, is that the guys we’ve got on the roster right now should be bad enough to help us tank for a quality draft pick next year, at which point we should go all in on a rookie QB to be our next franchise player. But, what this blog post presupposes is … maybe we don’t?

Okay, not quite. But, there’s been this concept that’s been gnawing at the back of my mind for a while now. The 2018 Los Angeles Rams went to the Super Bowl with Jared Goff at quarterback. What we’ve come to learn about Jared Goff since he was drafted first overall in 2016 is that he’s not as terrible as he showed in that rookie season. Of course, that was under the tenure of Jeff Fisher; Sean McVay was hired going into the 2017 season. What we also know about Goff, however, is that he’s not as good as his two (?!) Pro Bowl seasons either. McVay essentially declared he can’t win it all with Goff under center.

Yet, the system was good enough to get them all the way to the very end with a mediocre QB like Goff. That’s obviously intriguing to us as Seahawks fans.

Because here we are, with Shane Waldron as our offensive coordinator, looking to run something very similar to the system McVay installed with the Rams. And, here we also are, with Drew Lock and Geno Smith, mediocre quarterbacks just as Goff has been.

These aren’t apples-to-apples comparisons, though. Waldron is, obviously, a diluted form of McVay; McVay is largely seen as an offensive genius, and someone who might be “The Next Bill Belichick”. I don’t know if I’d go that far, but he does seem to be one of the top five-or-so head coaches in the NFL right now. And, I think it’s fair to say Lock and Smith haven’t shown to be anywhere near as competent as Goff, though obviously Lock is younger and less experienced (in other words, he very well could be as competent as Goff, we just haven’t seen him in a Rams-style offensive system yet).

What it boils down to is this: how reliable is this Rams system? Once you know the ins and outs, can literally anyone run it? Or, does it take the finesse and knowledge of a McVay to make it function as it should (to say nothing of a quarterback as capable as Stafford to push through as world champions)?

If it’s just a rock-solid system and anyone can do it, then I think I’m not out of bounds when I say Drew Lock could appear to be better than expected, as early as this season. If Jared Goff can take the Rams to the Super Bowl, why couldn’t Drew Lock take the Seahawks to the playoffs (especially when they let in three wild card teams now)? We’d need the defense to make huge leaps in development, and we’d probably have to rely more on our running game than the Rams ever have under McVay, but I don’t think it’s batshit crazy to come to this conclusion.

Look, am I saying it’s likely? Absolutely not. The smart money is totally and completely on the Seahawks to NOT make the playoffs in 2022. And, in fact, I don’t want them to, because what would be the point? We’re never winning a Super Bowl with Lock or Smith under center, no matter how good the roster is around them, or how good the scheme could potentially be. While the Seahawks will never actively try to tank, I hope a series of misfortunes befalls this team week after week after week, until we’re left with two picks in the top five (because I also hope a series of misfortunes befalls the Broncos to a similar degree). I’m talking injuries, I’m talking hail marys going against the Seahawks/Broncos, I’m talking about an unsustainably terrible record in one-score games. I want all of it. I want these to be the two unluckiest and most inept teams in all of football. THAT is my dream.

Not a Drew Lock-led Seahawks team squeaking in as a seventh seed only to lose in the Wild Card round.

Defending The Seahawks On This Kenneth Walker Pick

There’s a weird consensus around what the Seattle Seahawks did in this 2022 NFL Draft. People seem to be heartened by the fact that the Seahawks filled some very important holes, and they did so by not reaching. You didn’t hear a lot of chatter about how the Seahawks took guys most experts projected a round or two later. If anything, you heard chatter about how well the Seahawks picked certain guys who might’ve fallen to them unexpectedly. There was, of course, only one trade-back, and it happened well into the third day. Not a lot of fucking around by the Seahawks; as a fan, I appreciated it.

But, the downside to what the Seahawks did – again this is the opinion of the Consensus At Large I’m talking about here – is that they totally and completely neglected the quarterback position, while at the same time taking a running back with the 41st pick.

I’m on record, first of all, that you can’t call this the worst quarterback draft class in recent history – maybe the worst class of the last 2-3 decades – and then give the Seahawks a reduced draft grade for not taking one. Are you listening to yourself? Just because the Seahawks are rolling with Geno Smith and Drew Lock at the moment – and believe me, I’m no fan of either – doesn’t mean they should have doubled down by drafting a guy who’s not going to be any better than them. What’s the point of bringing in a third mediocre QB to throw into the mix? What is Malik Willis going to do to help us win a championship?

That’s one argument I refuse to have. If any of these rookie QBs eventually pan out, then we can have that conversation. But, don’t pretend like you’re out here touting these guys who the NFL passed over multiple times in this very draft!

The other issue is the simple fact the Seahawks took a running back in the second round. I can see this argument, at least, so let’s talk about it.

The Seahawks very much had a need at running back. Chris Carson, Rashaad Penny, and Travis Homer are all on the final season of their respective deals, while DeeJay Dallas has two years remaining. Carson is currently injured – with a significant, probably career-ending neck issue – and there’s no sign he’ll be ready to play this year or ever again. So, I would discount him immediately; even if he’s cleared by doctors, it wouldn’t shock me to see the team cut him. Rashaad Penny – until late last year – has been constantly injured throughout his career. That’s the whole reason why he only signed a 1-year extension with us! He’s good, maybe even elite, but I’ll believe it when I see it that he can stay on the field for a full season, let alone multiple seasons. And Travis Homer is strictly a backup in this league; he’s just a guy and not even all that good of one, from a football-talent perspective. For what it’s worth, ditto DeeJay Dallas.

The prevailing theory on running backs in the NFL is that quality backs can be found anywhere, all the way down into the 7th round and even among the undrafted rookies. Just get a guy, plug him into your lineup, and you should be fine. These are also, usually, the same people who want to throw the ball 95% of the time, so I don’t know if I’m totally buying what they’re selling. Travis Homer (a 6th rounder) and DeeJay Dallas (a 4th rounder) would seem to argue against the notion you can get a good back anywhere. But, by that same token, Chris Carson (7th rounder) and how great he’s been when healthy is all the ammo they need. Not to mention Rashaad Penny (1st rounder) is the poster child for why you DON’T draft a running back high.

I guess my question, then, is when is it NOT too early to draft a running back? What’s the line of demarcation?

Let’s just, for the sake of argument, look at the NFL’s rushing leaders from last year, and see where those guys were selected:

  1. Jonathan Taylor (2nd round, 41st overall)
  2. Nick Chubb (2nd round, 35th overall)
  3. Joe Mixon (2nd round, 48th overall)
  4. Najee Harris (1st round, 24th overall)
  5. Dalvin Cook (2nd round, 41st overall)
  6. Antonio Gibson (3rd round, 66th overall)
  7. Ezekiel Elliott (1st round, 4th overall)
  8. Elijah Mitchell (6th round, 194th overall)
  9. Derrick Henry (2nd round, 45th overall)
  10. Damien Harris (3rd round, 87th overall)
  11. Melvin Gordon (1st round, 15th overall)
  12. Austin Ekeler (undrafted)
  13. Javonte Williams (2nd round, 35th overall)
  14. Alvin Kamara (3rd round, 67th overall)
  15. Josh Jacobs (1st round, 24th overall)

I could keep going and going. So, for you anti-running back crowd, where’s the cutoff? I know there’s a contingent who thinks even the third round is too early! Yet, of the top 15 running backs last year, 13 of them were taken in the third round or higher. 10 of them were in the first or second rounds. In fact, the sweet spot seems to be right around pick 41, where both Taylor and Cook were selected, to say nothing of Derrick Henry – running back god – who was taken four picks later.

So, if there were no good quarterbacks to be had, and the Seahawks had a pretty urgent need for a quality running back (both to replenish their own supply, as well as to help compensate for shaky quarterbacking we’ve got on our roster currently), why would you shit-talk this team for doing the prudent thing and taking the best running back available? When MOST of the best running backs are taken somewhere in this range, and there was a pretty obvious drop-off in talent in this draft after Breece Hall was nabbed at 36 by the Jets.

For that matter, why aren’t the Jets getting as much shit for taking a running back five spots earlier?!

The next running back off the board went to the Bills at 63; his name is James Cook, and at least one article I read noted him as being among the most overrated coming out of this class.

You jump in there, take the reins of the Seahawks’ draft, and you tell me who you would’ve taken instead. We’d just grabbed Boye Mafe at 40; our third rounder was Abe Lucas at 72. Between those guys and Charles Cross at 9, we addressed our offensive line and got a pass rushing lotto ticket.

I don’t see a lot of point in taking one of the second or third-tier wide receivers, when we already have Lockett and are looking to extend Metcalf. David Ojabo stands out as a name, that would’ve been an idea (especially since it looks like we’re quasi-throwing out the 2022 season anyway). Maybe the center, Cam Jurgens, who went to Philly. Maybe a talented inside linebacker. I dunno, it’s easy to speculate now, but let’s revisit this in a year or two and see who among the players between 41 and 72 turned out to be better than Kenneth Walker.

I mean, this could all blow up in my face and Walker could be a collosal bust in the vein of Christine Michael. But, as I also said previously, just because you get bitten in the ass before by taking crappy running backs too high, that doesn’t mean you just give up on the entire concept. If Walker turns out to be a stud – like Taylor, like Cook – who doesn’t want that on their team? Who looks at Jonathan Taylor and thinks, “Nah, I’d rather have some pass rushing project who will probably cap out at 6 sacks per season.” That’s insane!

Like it or hate it, the Seahawks love to run the football. Who’s going to get a better opportunity to shine – not just as a rookie, but over the next four years – than Kenneth Walker? Rashaad Penny would not only have to prove the last 5-6 weeks weren’t a fluke, but he’ll also have to stay healthy for 17 games in order to keep Walker at bay. And, even then, it might not be enough, if indeed Walker is as good as we think he might be.

You gotta really look at a team, its needs, and its scheme, before you can start throwing out these opinions about how idiotic it is to take a running back at 41. I guarantee you the Colts and Vikings aren’t regretting it. And, I don’t care who’s under center, Walker is only going to be an even bigger help as we throw against 8-man boxes. Let Lockett get underneath some deep balls. Let Metcalf go up and catch passes in traffic. They’re going to be just fine. The play-action game is going to be off the charts.

And when we finally do get our quarterback of the future in the 2023 class? He’ll be stepping into a fantastic situation. Walker should have everything to say about just how great it’ll be.

The Seahawks Drafted More Non-Quarterbacks On Day Three

The next few years of Seahawks football are going to be greatly dictated by how well these players pan out. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, the Seahawks are in Rebuilding Mode. Now, this isn’t your grandfather’s Rebuilding Mode; it shouldn’t have to take a decade to get back to the promised land if you do things right. But, by foresaking the quarterback position in this draft – leaving us with Geno Smith, Drew Lock, and We’ll See – my expert analysis is that the Seahawks are planning on finding their quarterback of the future in the 2023 NFL Draft.

As they should.

So, what does that mean for 2022? Well, that means building up the roster around the quarterback position. Constructing this warm and fuzzy protective cocoon, where a rookie QB in 2023 can step right in and at least give us competence. How many careers have been derailed because a rookie quarterback’s confidence was destroyed by a terrible offensive line, or a lack of weapons to get the football to? Sometimes, if your team is truly terrible, you have no choice but to take that quarterback (usually #1 overall) and hope for the best. But, I’d rather do what I suspect the Seahawks are doing now, and hold off for a year until a better opportunity presents itself.

In the process of building up the roster around the quarterback position, that means returning to the mantra of Always Compete. Letting anyone and everyone participate in fighting for starting jobs. Coaching them up, throwing them out there in live NFL games, and seeing who rises to the top and who needs to be cut. The Seahawks have drafted a class for this express purpose. The more starters we find, the better the team will be going forward. The more blue chip superstars we find, the likelier it’ll be that we can return to a championship level.

I’m pretty confident we’ve got our Day 1 starting left tackle in Cross. I’m guessing he’ll be fine. I’m also pretty confident – with Abe Lucas at least as competition for the spot – we’ve locked down our right tackle position, either with him or Jake Curhan. I’m guessing they’ll also be fine. Walker will likely back up Rashaad Penny at first, but I think at some point he’ll take over and at least be a quality rotational running back, if not an outright stud. And, I think the floor for Boye Mafe is Alton Robinson. I hope he’s significantly BETTER than Alton Robinson, but he’ll at least be NFL-ready to step in there and contribute in some capacity.

There’s a floor there with all of the picks from the first two days of the draft where they’re at least contributing to the team. There’s also, of course, a ceiling that could be off the charts, depending on how they fit within our system and how the coaching staff gets them to improve.

But, it’s the Day 3 picks where we could see some dividends. How did we build up that last Seahawks championship squad? Lots of success in the 4th-7th rounds. I’ll go in order, for those who forgot: Walter Thurmond, Kam Chancellor, Anthony McCoy, K.J. Wright, Richard Sherman, Byron Maxwell, Malcolm Smith, Robert Turbin, Jeremy Lane, J.R. Sweezy, Luke Willson. To say nothing of the undrafted guys we selected from 2010-2013 who contributed greatly to what we were doing.

It’s handy that the Seahawks took cornerbacks back-to-back in this draft, because I’d like to talk about them together. Bryant won the Jim Thorpe Award in 2021 for the best defensive back in football. He played at Cincinnati opposite Sauce Gardner, which means that teams probably avoided Gardner’s side like the plague, and therefore Bryant had ample opportunities to defend the pass. Why he fell to the fourth round, then, is a mystery.

Bryant is certainly the more polished cornerback between him and Woolen. He seems to be a higher floor/lower ceiling type of player. It wouldn’t shock me to see him contribute right away, but I fully expect him to see considerable snaps as the season progresses. Woolen, on the other hand, looks like a fascinating prospect whose floor could be as a training camp cut, but whose ceiling could be as an All Pro.

6’4, 4.26 40-yard dash, 42-inch vertical. This guys looks like an athletic freak. He’s also, notably, a former wide receiver who converted to corner just a few years ago. His skills are raw and there are liabilities in his game as it currently stands that may prevent him from ever making a dent in the league. That being said, if he works at it, and the team is able to unlock his potential – with the athleticism he already possesses – he could be an absolute monster. There’s a lot to clean up, though, so I wouldn’t bank on it.

If the Seahawks just drafted bookend starters at cornerback to go with bookend starters at offensive tackle, I’d say we’re in good shape for the next half-decade or so. If the Seahawks just found one eventual starting cornerback in this class, I’d say they did their job well. If neither of these guys pan out, then I think we have a serious problem. Because, either we brought in the next Tre Flowers – who we’re forced to start because we have no better alternatives – or we have to go back to the drawing board next year (with Sidney Jones on a 1-year deal, and with Tre Brown still a big question mark).

Just as I’m not holding my breath for Boye Mafe in the second round, I’m not convinced Tyreke Smith will be much of anything either. I know elite pass rushers exist from outside the Top 5 of the NFL Draft, but it seems like those guys are total unicorns. Even with someone like Darrell Taylor – who I’m very happy with – he had to miss a year due to injury, and even then wasn’t, like, a Pro Bowler or anything in 2021. He was fine. He showed potential to be even better, but we’ll see if that comes to fruition.

I would project both Mafe and Smith as third down pass rushing specialists, especially as rookies. I wouldn’t expect either to be very good against the run, though Mafe at least has a better track record in that regard. Smith seems like a blind dart throw. Alton Robinson is probably his ceiling, but his floor is probably a special teamer who rarely – if ever – sees a snap on defense.

I don’t know what to say about Bo Melton or Dareke Young, the 7th round receivers we brought in. Melton seems to have a slot receiver build, but I don’t even know if that’s his forte or not. Young is a much taller receiver from a small school who probably projects more as special teams help. Of the two, Melton probably has the better chance of seeing offensive snaps, but let’s not kid ourselves here. We have quite the depth chart going so far, with Lockett, Metcalf, Swain, and Eskridge/Hart all having experience.

If anything, I wonder what this says about Eskridge’s status. He didn’t show a lot as a rookie last year, though a concussion saw to it that he wasn’t able to play a ton. Nevertheless, when he was in there, he didn’t make much of an impact. I don’t know if Melton plays a similar style or not (word is Young actually has played all around the offense in college, even taking handoffs on the regular, like a taller version of Deebo Samuel), but it’ll be interesting to see the pressure on Eskridge and how he responds.

That being said, probably don’t count on these rookie receivers to do much of anything AS rookies. Just take it as a win if they even make the team.

The 2022 draft class by the Seahawks will be defined by the top six guys we selected. The better those players are, the better our chances will be to turn this thing around in a hurry. If they struggle, though, it could be a long, dark period in our immediate future.

Seahawks Positions Of Need For The 2022 NFL Draft

Look, you’re not going to trick me into doing a bunch of research on the countless college football players out there – the vast majority of which will never set foot in a Seahawks uniform – so stop trying to make me care about something that will have no affect on my life! I can’t fathom a bigger waste of time than mock drafts, especially when you get to the people trying to predict draft day trades; what are you doing? Does your job analyzing football pay you that well? Or what IS it like being a lottery winner?

Anyway, I hope you didn’t come here for that. I tend to wait until AFTER the Seahawks make a draft pick before I start researching guys. That also goes for trades and free agent signings. This is the universe I live in, the multiverse of infinite possibilities bores the everloving shit out of me (yes, I’m looking at you Marvel and DC).

So, instead, let’s talk about the Seahawks, their holes, and the positions I’d like to see them go after in this year’s NFL Draft.

For starters, let’s look at where we’re picking:

  • Round 1 (9th overall) from Broncos
  • Round 2 (40th overall) from Broncos
  • Round 2 (41st overall)
  • Round 3 (72nd overall)
  • Round 4 (109th overall) from Jets
  • Round 5 (145th overall) from Broncos
  • Round 5 (153rd overall)
  • Round 7 (229th overall)

We received all the picks from the Broncos in exchange for Russell Wilson (giving them our original 4th rounder, 116th overall, in exchange for the 5th rounder). We obviously lost our original 1st rounder (10th overall) to the Jets in the Jamal Adams trade, but got their 4th rounder in the process (yay). We traded away our 6th rounder to the Jags (188th overall) for Sidney Jones, which I think was an excellent deal in retrospect (especially since we were able to re-sign him on a 1-year deal).

Our draft board looks significantly different than it did prior to the Wilson deal. I wouldn’t say it looks GREAT (you’d obviously go back in time and take back the Jamal Adams deal if you had a time machine), but much better than it would have. Not even the Seahawks – the kings of trading back – loved the idea of waiting until the 41st pick before making their first draft selection (to say nothing about having only six picks total).

Here’s where we put the obligatory Trade Back Warning. Yes, the Seahawks love nothing more than to trade back and acquire more picks. But, as it turns out, it seems like more than half the league is thinking the same thing. Which means, one would think, there isn’t quite the same value there once was in playing things more conservatively. If the draft is so mediocre, then odds are having “more bites at the apple” will only mean having more bites into a disgusting worm wiggling its way under the skin. I hope the Seahawks DON’T trade back, but rather zag where everyone else zigs: stay and pick, or even move up if the right guy is sitting there.

I especially hope the Seahawks don’t trade back from 9th overall, but again, that’s with little-to-no knowledge of the guys projected to go in that part of the draft. It’s very possible the Seahawks could trade into the teens – getting an extra third rounder or some such thing – and still get the guy they want. That’s almost certainly because the “guy they want” is someone nobody’s projecting to them, and will therefore be a shock to the world. Because, other than trading back in the draft, the Seahawks adore being the “smartest guys in the room” and reaching for players who would still be there a round or two later (while claiming everyone else in the NFL really wanted so-and-so and would’ve taken him if given the opportunity, in spite of zero proof confirming this allegation).

With that out of the way, let’s dig into the positions of need for the Seahawks, and when they should be drafted.

The biggest – without question – need for the Seahawks is quarterback. But, as I’ve said all along, I hope the Seahawks don’t draft a QB, and instead use this draft to bolster elsewhere, while still more or less tanking the season with Geno Smith or Drew Lock to get a high draft pick next year (and use our package of multiple #1’s if we have to, to move up and draft the real quarterback of the future from a better selection).

It seems counter-intuitive, therefore, to say that IF the Seahawks are bound and determined to draft a quarterback, they should do so in the second round. But, I think there’s a general consensus that the chances of busting on a QB in the top half of the first round is pretty high, while there might be some real interesting value at the top of the second round. More than anything, I know the Seahawks don’t pick in the Top 10 very often, so I’d like them to not waste that pick on a guy likely to suck. I’d rather they go after another position of importance, with better odds to fill that hole. If we waste a second rounder, it’s not as big of a deal (especially since we have another second rounder sitting right there).

I mean, let’s look at it logically: what are the odds the Seahawks hit on all three of their top picks? Pretty low, right? It seems much more likely that one of those three will be a bust; better to have that bust be one of the second rounders, and not the #9 overall pick.

I’m holding out hope that an elite left tackle is still there at #9. I know Duane Brown is just sitting there, and could probably be had on a 1-year deal, and would most likely be competent-to-good as long as he’s healthy. But, I would MUCH rather fill that void for the next however many years, while also giving him 2022 as a learning year before we go out and get our next franchise quarterback.

Failing that, I think pass rusher has to be the play. There’s a small part of me who wouldn’t mind seeing the Seahawks take the very best cornerback in the draft if he’s still sitting there – I certainly wouldn’t hate taking the guy who’s projected as being The Next Jalen Ramsey – but left tackle and “pass rusher” are such GLARING holes on this team, that I just don’t think you can fill in the later rounds (especially left tackle). Not if you want your chances of success to be high.

I want my first three picks to be LT, DE, and BPA (Best Player Available), which could be a corner, a linebacker, a center, or even a running back (if a really, really, REALLY good one is there). I don’t want to see a tight end, wide receiver, safety, or run-stuffing defensive tackle taken there. Save those spots for later in the draft, if necessary.

But, it’s the Seattle Seahawks we’re talking about, so they’re going to do whatever the hell, and we’re going to sit here and do summersaults trying to talk ourselves into the moves they make.

The Seahawks, Again, Re-Signed Geno Smith

It appears to be a 1-year deal for $4 million, with incentives taking it up to $7 million.

I don’t know what this means. I mean, I sort of do. This is what you get when you suck, but you’re told that you can compete for a starting job next season. Considering the incentives – and the value as a whole – it seems to indicate the Seahawks believe pretty highly in Geno’s chances.

A 1-year deal for $4 million for a backup quarterback isn’t the most outrageous cost in the world. But, I’ll ask again: who were we competing against? Who was clamoring for the services of Geno Smith?

Are we talking about the three games he started last year? On the surface, I guess you could make an argument his numbers looked okay. In four games (recall the Rams game he entered in the fourth quarter), he had a 103.0 passer rating, with 5 TDs and 1 INT. He even had a 68.4% completion percentage. But, I would argue those numbers were propped up by his performance against the Jags (the very worst team in football), and he was a big reason why we couldn’t prevail in two VERY winnable games against the Steelers and Saints. Ineffectiveness and late-game mistakes cost us against those flawed opponents, which ultimately cost us a shot at the playoffs last year.

Geno Smith is who he is, and everyone in football knows it. He’s a backup quarterback, period. No one else was going to offer him a starting job, or even a CHANCE at a starting job. At best, he was looking at the minimum, to compete for a backup job, in a new system. So, again, who were we competing against? Retirement? If that’s the case, then clearly his heart isn’t in football to begin with, and what are we doing?

But, on the flipside, 1 year for $4 million (up to $7 million, I’m assuming, based on playing time in the regular season) is a bargain for a starting quarterback, no matter how mediocre he is.

I think it’s fair to say Geno Smith has the inside track to be the starter in Week 1 over Drew Lock. Because Drew Lock stinks, of course, but also because Geno knows the system and has rapport with the players.

This has the feel of the 2011 Seahawks, with Tarvaris Jackson at the helm. T-Jack was a respected veteran who had the admiration of his teammates; that seems to be what Geno has now with these guys. I’m sure they’ll play their asses off for him. But, I’m also sure it won’t be enough to make a difference.

There is, I’ll admit, an outside chance that Geno Smith is just competent enough to take us to an annoyingly mediocre 7-10 or 8-9 record, which has us both missing the playoffs AND missing out on a Top 10 draft pick next year. Fuck that. God, do I hate the sound of that nonsense. It’s further bolstered by the fact that I think the roster outside of the quarterback position is relatively solid, with a chance to be further improved with quality draft picks and an opportunity for young guys to step up in starting roles.

So, it boils down to our schedule in 2022. The Seahawks were dead last in the NFC West, which gives us that coveted last place schedule. But, that only accounts for a handful of games (in this case: the Giants and Jets at home, and the Lions on the road). For starters, it wouldn’t shock me to see the Seahawks blow one of those games. But, the rest of our schedule looks MEATY.

The NFC West is still vastly superior to us; that accounts for 6 games. Then, we catch the vaunted AFC West, the consensus Toughest Division In Football. Those should be 4 more defeats. We round it out with the NFC South. The Bucs are good, the Saints are better than us (plus that one is also on the road); we catch the Falcons and Panthers at home (both should be winnable games, but I could see us losing one, if not both).

I’ll generously give us a 1-5 divisional record, but a 1-2 record against the bottom feeders, and another combined 2 wins against the AFC West and NFC South puts us at 4-13 on the year, which SHOULD be good enough for a Top 5-ish pick.

That’s WITH Geno Smith starting all the games, mind you. Don’t even get me started on how low we can go with Drew Lock or someone else.

Most interestingly, I wonder what this means for the Baker Mayfield rumors. He seems to think the Seahawks are a quality destination. Lots of pundits have the Seahawks high on the list. But, with Lock and now Geno under contract, are we REALLY going to keep three quarterbacks on the roster? The only way Baker makes sense is if Geno’s contract is in no way guaranteed. But, the way it was reported, it makes it seem like Geno is the guy. We’ll see, I guess.

I do think this puts the Baker thing to rest, which is probably best for everyone involved. I’m still Team Tank 2022, and I think Geno Smith gives us a great chance to see that to fruition.

What If The Seahawks Got Baker Mayfield?

All right, calm down people. I’m not sitting here advocating for the Seahawks to acquire Baker Mayfield, in case that’s the conclusion you jumped to. GET OFF MY ASS! We’re just talking things through here.

The situation is this: the Browns traded for Deshaun Watson, and gave him a batshit crazy all-guaranteed contract. Somehow, Watson allegedly sexually harassed (if not outright sexually abused) dozens of women, and yet he held all the cards when it came to his future? How does this work? Browns gonna Browns, of course, but it would seem multiple teams were prepared to go to this great length – burning down the league’s leverage in the quarterback contract market for all future superstars – so I guess I would just point to the insanity of the NFL owners themselves. They’ll cater to an alleged abuser, but they won’t even give a tryout to a guy in Colin Kaepernick fighting for social justice. Okay.

Anyway, the Browns have Watson, they also just signed Jacoby Brissett to be his backup, and all the while there’s Baker Mayfield in the final year of his rookie deal, making around $18 million. Not an outrageous sum of money for a viable starting quarterback, but the question remains: IS Baker Mayfield a viable starting quarterback? One that can lead a team to a championship?

It’s obvious to anyone with half a brain that the Browns have shit the bed in this one particular scenario: they want out from under Mayfield’s guaranteed money. Unfortunately, most of the big ticket quarterback moves have already been made. Aaron Rodgers is staying with Green Bay. Russell Wilson is now with the Broncos. The aforementioned Watson is with the Browns. Matt Ryan went to the Colts. Carson Wentz … went to the Commanders. Tom Brady is back with the Bucs. The Vikings are committed to Cousins, the Dolphins are committed to Tua, the Saints look to be committed to Jameis, the Jets are (apparently) committed to Zach Wilson, the Giants are (bafflingly) committed to Danny Dimes. Of the quarterbacks who are reported to be available in trades, Jimmy G should head that list, and so far there haven’t been any takers. So, where’s Baker’s market, exactly?

If the Browns cut Baker, they’re on the hook for his entire salary. But, they obviously can’t keep him around through training camp, because he almost certainly won’t be there, as he’s now demanded a change of scenery.

If I’m the rest of the NFL, and I had the slightest inkling in bringing in Baker, I’d play hardball and force the Browns to cut him. Then, swoop in with a lowball, incentive-laden offer to take him on as a 1-year flier.

No fanbase is excited about Baker Mayfield, though. It’s undeniable that he had a bad season in 2021, so there’s that taste in everyone’s mouths. He did have the torn labrum in his non-throwing shoulder, though, which undoubtedly affected his on-field play. He’s also, not for nothing, irritatingly over-exposed in TV commercials (based on his personality, I guess, because it’s not a reflection of his performance in actual professional football games). Even before his 2021 injury-plagued season, it’s not like Baker Mayfield was the epitome of an elite franchise quarterback. Odell Beckham’s dad more or less saw to making that clear to everyone with a Twitter feed.

He’s not particularly tall, he’s not particularly athletic, his arm isn’t particularly strong …

Funny Office Space quotes are funny …

And that’s where we are now. I still think the Steelers are the most logical destination for him, because he feels like a Steelers-type quarterback. Plus, he’d get two chances a year to stick it to the Browns, which I’m sure he’d love to do.

But, the Seahawks keep coming up in the rumor mill, and I have some free time this morning, so let’s get into it.

I’m just putting this back out into the universe for anyone who wants to read it: my number one preference for the Seahawks is to tank in 2022. That means, likely, giving Drew Lock as many reps as he can handle and watching him crash and burn spectacularly. That does NOT mean bringing in a middling veteran to annoyingly steal wins we don’t need. Draft a great pass rusher in the first round this year (or an elite left tackle, if one is still available), draft a couple of quality starters in the second round, and wait to draft a quarterback until 2023.

I have no number two preference. All other options for the Seahawks are going to be met with disdain. That includes Baker Mayfield.

If we MUST bring him in, then I would rather we wait for the Browns to cut him, and sign him to that aforementioned lowball, incentive-laden offer. I’ll admit, if that comes to fruition, I’d be intrigued.

I’m curious about what a healthy Baker Mayfield can accomplish, who is savagely pissed off at the world and hyper-motivated to rehabilitate his image. Don’t forget, it wasn’t that long ago when the Browns were lauded for taking him above the rest of his 2018 draft class. Of course, now we know Josh Allen was the true prize, but at first there were lots of questions about Allen’s accuracy and whatnot.

Ryan Tannehill is a name that gets bandied about. As a former Top 10 draft pick who flamed out with his original team, he became a … pretty good quarterback when he was inserted onto the right team. He doesn’t have to do too much, so long as Derrick Henry is healthy, but when he’s asked to step up, he tends to make plays more often than not. Now, EVERY team thinks they can rehab their own guys (to wit: the Giants with Danny Dimes), and it’s becoming sort of a disturbing trend. Most of these quarterbacks flame out for a reason, so giving them opportunity after opportunity is only going to prolong the mediocrity that’s so prevalent at the position.

But, if anyone can be “the next Ryan Tannehill”, I could see it being Baker.

Now, I’m not saying Tannehill is some great shakes, but he’s fine. Could Baker also be fine? Sure, why not?

The thing is, I don’t HATE the rest of the Seahawks’ roster. Assuming, of course, that they don’t trade away D.K. Metcalf. You know. If they do that, then the rebuild is almost certainly going into overdrive. But, with D.K., we’ve got two elite receivers, two stud tight ends, one potentially elite running back (with the high likelihood we draft another), and a pretty solid offensive line (whenever we figure out the left tackle spot).

I also don’t HATE the defense. We’ve got a new coaching staff and a tweaked scheme. Our interior linemen look good, we signed a promising pass rusher away from the Chargers, we’re moving on from Bobby and getting younger at linebacker, we’ve got Darrell Taylor who looks outstanding, and our secondary has a high floor, if not quite so high of a ceiling (unless Tre Brown returns from injury and asserts himself as the next great cornerback on this team). Don’t get me wrong, we still need an infusion of hot talent from the draft, but the bones are there for a quick turnaround (assuming we eventually get the right quarterback).

Could Baker Mayfield join this roster and lead us to a 9-8 record? It wouldn’t shock me in the slightest. That might be a worst-case scenario in its own right, though, because 9-8 doesn’t seem like it’ll be good enough to catch a Wild Card spot, even with the expanded playoffs we’ve made our new reality.

However, I firmly do NOT believe Baker joins this roster and makes us a divisional contender. He certainly doesn’t make us a Super Bowl contender. At which point, his addition to this team just smacks of Pete Carroll refusing to rebuild through the draft like we need to.

And this scenario only gets scarier the more the Seahawks have to give up to get him here. The Browns are reportedly looking for a second round draft pick; that’s asinine. I wouldn’t give up anything higher than a 5th rounder, and even then, the Browns better be paying the bulk of his contract.

The thing is, I don’t think the Browns want him to go to the Steelers. And, if they cut him, I think that’s his top destination; I think he’d do everything – including taking a minimum contract from them – to make it happen. So, the Browns should be happy to take a 7th rounder from us – and pay the entirety of his contract – just to get him out of the AFC. Because, there won’t be anyone more motivated to beat up on the Browns if he’s in Pittsburgh (a city that already hates Cleveland with a passion).

In conclusion, Baker Mayfield is my nightmare. But, ultimately I don’t think he’ll be a Seahawk when it’s all said and done. Good luck, Steelers fans.

Thoughts On The Colin Kaepernick Situation As It Stands Now

Everything, on both sides, feels very performative about the whole Colin Kaepernick thing. I don’t think we’re really getting the full truth from anyone. Of course, it’s impossible to ever get a straight word out of NFL front offices, the best we can hope for is to piece together what gets leaked to the major NFL reporters and news breakers and try to suss out what’s truth and what’s lies.

Here’s what I believe: I don’t think the NFL wants him back. However, I think if anyone in the NFL thought he’d help their team win, they’d try to sign him. Now. Post … whatever. Post George Floyd, post BLM protests, post a more general acceptance that guys were kneeling for injustice and not to be anti-American (though, of course, there’s a great percentage of people who will always believe the worst; I do think there’s been a bigger shift in the acceptance of the act)

I also believe there’s a very performative aspect to what Kaepernick says to the public. He claims he wants to return to football. He posts videos and is now traveling around throwing to receivers. Seems like it could be genuine, and it seems like he’s still in good shape and still has the strong arm. If you buy the argument that a team would sign him if they thought he’d help them win, and if you buy the argument that he wants to return, then it seems like a no brainer, right?

The Seahawks, as it turns out, just traded away their franchise quarterback. They have nothing on the roster at this point besides Drew Lock, who stinks. They allegedly have a progressive head coach and front office, and they play for a city that is very progressive and would be largely accepting of a player like Kaepernick. This wouldn’t have the kind of furor that him signing in the deep south might engender; it feels like the no brainer to end all no brainers.

The rub is, now the excuse to not bring Kaepernick back has to do with the fact that he hasn’t played since 2016. That’s a pretty legitimate reason to question a guy; can someone with a five year layoff return and be an effective quarterback? He’ll be 35 in November; most quarterbacks that age or older are either the elitest of the elites, or they’re backups. But, what does a quarterback making the minimum cost? A million or two? Feels like a pittance if he’s able to actually help your team win games.

That’s where I don’t really buy Kaepernick’s sincerity when it comes to returning to football. You’re telling me a quarterback-needy team wouldn’t even offer him the minimum? Is he really that poisonous to the establishment? My guess is he thinks he’s better than the minimum. Right or wrong, that five year layoff rejects that premise. I feel like, if he really wanted to return, he’d jump at the next minimum offer he got. But, I don’t think he’s actually putting himself out there. I think he’s performing for the cameras and putting on a big show, to parlay this into more important moves down the road. Maybe running for office, maybe using his influence in other ways to affect change.

Don’t get me wrong, Colin Kaepernick was screwed over by the NFL establishment. But, at this point, more people would be cheering a team that signed him than would be burning jerseys. It’s not like he’s going to be able to kneel for the anthem anyway; the NFL saw to that by doing the anthem while players are still inside. Of course, we don’t question why an anthem is needed in the first place; what’s the point? We need to pledge allegiance to the flag in order to watch a sporting event? Do you hear how dumb that sounds?

If he’s adamant about being a distraction even after he’s signed, then there’s your proof once and for all that he’s not really interested in playing football. But, if he’s actually sincere, then give him a minimum non-guaranteed deal and let him play ball. What’s the harm?

You don’t like Colin Kaepernick? I sure as shit bet if he won a bunch of games for you, you’d change your tune.

I’m not saying he’s the answer. I’m not saying he’d be as effective as he was in 2012 and 2013. I saw the way his career went in the tank even before all the brouhaha. But, is he better than Geno Smith? I would say absolutely. Is he better than Drew Lock? Almost certainly. Could he lead the 2022 Seahawks to the Super Bowl? No way. Could he lead us back to the playoffs? I doubt it. But, maybe. He might also be just as bad as Smith and Lock, in which case the Seahawks would tank 2022, which is what I really want anyway.

More than anything, I’m over the media circus. Shit or get off the pot, all of you. All this posturing is getting old.

Have The Seahawks Done Enough At Cornerback?

The Seahawks seem pretty well set at safety. Quandre Diggs is back in the fold, Jamal Adams isn’t going anywhere anytime soon; the two of them comprise the highest-paid safety tandem in the NFL. Then, there’s Marquise Blair and Ryan Neal backing them up. That seems like a very solid group, maybe even the best group of safeties in the entire NFL.

Or, you could say it’s the most injury-prone safety group in the NFL. Either way, there isn’t a ton of coverage going on, especially with Adams being deployed as a sack specialist. What about, you know, the guys who try to prevent opposing wide receivers from gashing us up and down the field? What about the cornerback spot?

Coming into this offseason, we really only had Ugo Amadi and Tre Brown locked in as sure bets to make the 2022 roster. Amadi is a hybrid safety/nickel corner, and Brown was a rookie coming off of season-ending injury. That’s not really … good.

With the start of free agency, some things are becoming clearer. Our best corner, D.J. Reed, won’t be back. Our next-best corner, Sydney Jones, is back. Conceivably, if Brown returns fully healthy, the duo of him and Jones feels strong-ish. But, there’s also a lot you could easily question about going with those two.

As insurance, the Seahawks signed Artie Burns, who played with the Bears under new defensive guru Sean Desai. We also, just today, brought back Justin Coleman, who was great with us in 2017-2018. He went away to make the bulk of his money, but now he’s reasonably-priced again and can help us solidify our nickel corner spot.

It’s tough to say, this early in the offseason, whether or not Burns or Coleman have legitimate shots at making the team, or are just here as camp fodder. Burns appears to be earning $2 million, so that feels significant, but it’s unclear if he’s also a nickel or if he plays outside. That makes a big difference. If the Seahawks are just stockpiling nickel corners, then it would make sense that we look to the draft once again. But, maybe we’re sold on Brown, and he’s healing as he should. Then, it’s fair to wonder if the Seahawks are more or less done, with a secondary that looks like this:

  • Sidney Jones (CB)
  • Quandre Diggs (FS)
  • Jamal Adams (SS)
  • Tre Brown (CB)
  • Ugo Amadi (FS/CB)
  • Marquise Blair (SS)
  • Ryan Neal (SS)
  • Artie Burns (CB)
  • Justin Coleman (CB)

Is that enough? It’s clear what we’ve done at the safety position means we’ve opted to go cheap on corner, but there also appears to be real value guys in that group. Lots of underrated talent earning less than they probably should. It leads me to believe that the Seahawks are opting to use their draft picks in the first two rounds at other areas of need. Probably offensive tackle and defensive end. Maybe (but I hope not) quarterback.

It’s hard to get too excited about this team, knowing the black hole we have at the most important position. Really, does it MATTER if the Seahawks are good in the secondary, if they’ve got Drew Lock or Geno Smith or even Baker Mayfield behind the center? It’s not like we’re going to have the world’s best defense; this isn’t going to be the Trent Dilfer Ravens or anything. You have these conversations when you’ve already got the franchise quarterback, not when you just traded him away. Making marginal improvements with a non-elite secondary only matters if you’ve got the QB to carry the rest of the load.

But, until we know what the Seahawks plan to do at QB, we can’t just sit here and bemoan that one spot. There are other things to talk about! Like the return of Justin Coleman. Do you think he still has it? I’m legitimately curious! He was never better than when he was with Seattle. Now he’s back!

Just as we’re shifting away from the style of defense we played here in his heyday. Ha.

OMFG: The Seahawks Traded Russell Wilson To The Broncos

I did not expect to take a shower and return to dozens upon dozens of tweets talking about a Russell Wilson trade. If I’m being honest, I foolishly hoped the MLB had worked out an agreement on a new CBA. This is … decidedly different news.

Earlier today, it was reported Aaron Rodgers was set to sign a 4-year, $200 million deal to stay with the Packers. That immediately got the Seahawks beat writers discussing Wilson; would you pay him upwards of $50 million per year to stick around through his late 30’s?

I would not. Even though Rodgers has also been short on Super Bowl appearances, he’s largely carried that team in ways Wilson hasn’t. Rodgers has done more with worse Packers teams, is my ultimate point. He has multiple MVP awards for a reason. When the Seahawks have tried to model their offense around Wilson’s arm – to the detriment of the running game – he hasn’t been enough all by himself to get us over the hump. And, the way things were headed, it was never going to work long term. He was always going to butt up against the notion that he needs a strong running game and defense to take us back to the Super Bowl. Paying him $50 million a year or more wasn’t going to help us in any way, shape, or form. That’s just going to make it that much more difficult to fill out a proper roster.

Don’t give me this about the Rams and other teams kicking the can down the road. That’s easy to say when your highest paid players are the stars at the most important positions. It’s easy to look at the Rams as a model franchise who can pay the QB position a lot of money and still win it all, when they have Aaron Donald (the best football player alive, regardless of position), Jalen Ramsey (one of the top corners in the game, decidedly a premium position), and quality players all along the defensive line around those guys. The Seahawks are paying a middle linebacker and a safety who can’t cover anyone gobs of money that would be better spent along the DL and at CB.

It’s fair to question, at this point, whether or not we have the right front office in place – with Pete Carroll at the epicenter – to lead the next rebuild, or the search for our next franchise quarterback. Time will tell. But, running it back for the sake of running it back was never going to lead to a championship in 2022, or 2023 in all likelihood.

If we’re not going to win a Super Bowl in the next two years, then what are we clinging to Russell Wilson for?

  • The Broncos get: Russell Wilson & a 4th round pick
  • The Seahawks get: Drew Lock, Noah Fant, Shelby Harris, two 1st rounders, two 2nd rounders, and a 5th rounder

One of the first rounders is the 9th overall pick this year. We also get the Broncos’ original 2nd rounder this year, so that’s something.

It’s easy to look at the players and cringe. Fant is easily the best player the Seahawks are getting in return. He’s a value tight end this year, then would make nearly $7 million next year if we retain him (he’s also young and good enough to warrant an extension, if we’re so inclined, but I would imagine we’d wait until after this season to do so).

Harris is a defensive end who will be 31 this year; he’s just a guy. His season high in sacks is 6.0, which he’s done twice and appears to be his ceiling. The note that he’s a respected veteran holds no water with me. He’s making $7.5 million in base salary this year, and $8.5 million next year (his only guaranteed money is $5 million this year, so we could cut him prior to 2023 for no dead cap hit).

Everyone is going to point to Drew Lock and wail; I can’t blame you. He might be the worst starting quarterback in the league, and I don’t expect that to change anytime soon. He might even be too bad to be anyone’s backup; I can’t imagine Geno Smith being worse, for instance. I won’t sugarcoat how bad Lock is; I don’t expect his play to improve in Seattle. Even if we go HARD to becoming a run-first team, you still have to throw the ball around 50% of the time. He doesn’t have the accuracy or ability to do much of anything in the NFL.

It’s all about the draft picks. It’s also about finding a quarterback who will buy in. It’s about getting rid of an aging, short pocket passer who can’t hit the intermediate-middle route and whose legs’ best days are long behind him. I dread what Wilson will look like in five years.

The Seahawks aren’t the Rams; they’re like most other teams in the NFL. To succeed in this league at a high level, you need to build up your roster and hit on a rookie QB. Teams with good quarterbacks on rookie deals tend to be the best. This at least allows us the opportunity – with some high picks this year (three in the top 41 or so) – to start building up the roster. If we have a down season, then come back with more high picks next year, the rebuild might not take as long as expected.

You can sweat the Seahawks and their draft classes since 2012, but they sure as shit knew what they were doing those first three years, when they were picking relatively high. It’s hard picking in the mid-to-high 20’s. They were also rumored to be taking serious looks at Mahomes and Allen (even, I believe, showing up at their respective Pro Days) when Wilson was firmly entrenched as our franchise quarterback. I don’t know why you do that if you’re not at least sniffing around at a possible replacement. Plus, they obviously hit on Wilson in the third round, so it’s not like these guys have no clue.

As someone who was sick and tired of the Let Russ Cook argument – a failure in execution, 100% – I’m fine with seeing him go. This is the best time to get the most value out of him; we’ve seen him at his best. We had a tremendous decade-long run with him at the helm, including multiple divisional titles, two Super Bowl appearances, and one title. Maybe the Broncos squeeze some more elite passing years out of him, but I don’t know if he’ll win any more championships the rest of the way. And I think his final years in the league will rival some of the biggest drop-offs we’ve ever seen at the position. He finally got hurt in 2021 and had to miss games; you think that’s going to be the last serious injury he ever has? He’s getting older and slower, and he’s not Tom Brady.

It’s never ideal to trade a franchise quarterback in the hand. There’s a VERY good chance the Seahawks squander this deal, that the players we get in return do nothing, and we whiff on the draft picks. In which case, the coach and GM will be gone.

But, I don’t believe they were ever going to win it all again with Wilson either. Since it became clear Pete & John were going nowhere, this was the only way to shake things up and see if we could rejuvenate this franchise. It’s a long shot, but what else did we have to look forward to?

A 2022 season with Wilson might’ve seen the Seahawks reach the playoffs again, but we’re also in one of the most challenging divisions in the league, so a wild card spot was probably our ceiling. Followed by a loss in the first or second round of the playoffs.

Following that, we would’ve looked forward to yet another protracted and annoying battle in the media for Wilson’s next contract extension (if he was even remotely interested in sticking around, which I don’t believe he was). Either that, or another protracted and annoying media campaign where Wilson tries to force another trade anyway. Who wants to endure that?

I’ll take the clean break. I’ll take leaving on reasonably good terms. I’ll take the positive memories we have, over the sour ending we were likely to see.

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2020: Tua Err Is Human

  • Pre-Season Week 1 HERE – Here We Fucking Go Again
  • Pre-Season Week 2 HERE – Corona-Draft Prep
  • Fantasy Draft HERE – Nobody Beats The Wiz!
  • Week 1 HERE – Crisis Averted!
  • Week 2 HERE – Everything That Could Go Wrong
  • Week 3 HERE – Some Nobody Did, In Fact, Beat The Wiz!
  • Week 4 HERE – Literally Everyone Beats The Fucking Wiz
  • Week 5 HERE – Signs Of Life!
  • Week 6 HERE – And Tua All A Good Night
  • Week 7 HERE – Tua Be Or Not Tua Be, That Is The Question
  • Week 8 HERE – Tua Thine Own Self Be True
  • Week 9 HERE – Tua The Window, Tua The Wall!!!
  • Week 10 HERE – Tua Infinity & Beyond!

Again, I just want to say: I don’t know how I’m doing this. I don’t know how I’m still winning games. I don’t know WHY these opponents of mine keep underperforming their projections. I DON’T KNOW! It boggles the mind. 162.75 to 131.29, Nobody Beats The Wiz over Colinoscopy Time.

I’m 6-5 on the year, currently sitting in fifth place in the standings. I have the third-fewest points scored and – more importantly – I have the second-fewest points scored against me.

It wasn’t a 200-point week for me, but it wasn’t awful either. Bad news on the Jameis Winston front: he never played. Instead I was played … for a sap! I mistakenly thought – since he subbed in for Drew Brees the previous week when Brees left the game injured – that Winston would slide right in there and run with the job. Instead, Taysom Hill got the nod, and I was less than ten minutes too late in picking him up after I noticed the announcement. You hate to see it.

But, I was able to slot Kirk Cousins back into my starting lineup and he got me a whopping 32.1 points! A helluva lot better than Carson Wentz’s 16.75 for my bench. Tua, on the other hand, had a really tough day, scoring only 10.15. He was benched by Miami’s coach late in the game, BUT he’s already been reinstated as the starter this week against the Jets. If he doesn’t tear shit up in this one, I’ll officially be worried about his long-term prospects; the Jets are literally THE worst.

I also ended up benching Jerry Jeudy in favor of Dolphins receiver DeVante Parker (who was a free agent, and one of my original draft picks lo those many weeks ago). Jeudy stunk (6.7), but Parker played great (18.1)! A.J. Brown (16.2) had a solid game thanks to a late TD, Ezekiel Elliott (19.4) showed why he’s so great, CEH (20.7) had a rare multi-TD game, and new tight end Dallas Goedert made me proud with 18.7!

As for Colinoscopy Time, he had five guys score less than 7 points apiece; that’s not going to get it done, even with Deshaun Watson leading the way with 38.8.

My only move this week (at press time) was to drop Jameis Winston, because I had to clear room for one of my 49ers receivers to come off IR. I don’t know yet what my other move is going to be (since I have two 49ers receivers on IR, and both could possibly return to action this week), but since I refuse to post this thing on a holiday (and since I refuse to post this thing on Friday, after a whopping three Thanksgiving games have been played), you get to live in a little suspense for a week. Here’s my potential lineup:

  • Tua Tagovailoa (QB) @ NYJ
  • Carson Wentz (QB) vs. SEA
  • A.J. Brown (WR) @ IND
  • DeVante Parker (WR) @ NYJ
  • Josh Jacobs (RB) @ ATL
  • Ezekiel Elliott (RB) vs. WAS
  • Dallas Goedert (TE) vs. SEA
  • Deebo Samuel (WR) @ LAR
  • Harrison Butker (K) @ TB
  • L.A. Rams (DEF) vs. SF

Again, the choice comes down to Wentz vs. Cousins. Cousins is going up against Carolina, who would probably be the safer play. HOWEVER, it’s my understanding that the Panthers have a pretty awful rush defense (giving up the 6th most fantasy points to running backs), and the Vikings have the world’s greatest running back in Dalvin Cook (who I have in my other league, and is 100% my MVP). So, I kind of anticipate the Vikings giving all of their fantasy love to Cook. This will also be a good week to see if the Seahawks’ defense has indeed turned a corner, or if the last game against the Cardinals was a fluke.

CEH is a no-go because the Chiefs are playing the Bucs, and their rush defense is amazing. Since the Chiefs rarely run the ball as it is, that makes CEH too touchdown-dependant for my tastes. Deebo Samuel isn’t ideal – since he hasn’t played since October 25th due to injury – but I think the 49ers will need to throw the ball a lot, so he could be a target machine in that offense.

I actually like my Miami and Philly players in this one; I think Goedert could have a great game against the Seahawks. I also think my running backs could be poised to carry me a little bit, as I worry about A.J. Brown against that Indy defense. Finally, this could be the game where my kicker busts out (since Tampa’s defense should HOPEFULLY force the Chiefs into attempting a few field goals, instead of ONLY touchdowns every single scoring drive). And, I’m pretty high on the Rams’ defense against the 49ers (especially at home, where the Rams are often much better than on the road, even in these fanless COVID times).

Since I don’t totally hate my matchups, WATCH ME SHIT THE BED! I’m going up against Korky Butchek, who really fucking destroyed me in Week 3. He just lost his franchise quarterback in Joe Burrow, so he’s reeling a little bit, but as you’ll see there’s plenty of talent left over:

  • Jared Goff (QB) vs. SF
  • Drew Lock (QB) vs. NO
  • Diontae Johnson (WR) vs. BAL
  • D.J. Moore (WR) @ MIN
  • James Robinson (RB) vs. CLE
  • Raheem Mostert (RB) @ LAR
  • Jonnu Smith (TE) @ IND
  • DeAndre Hopkins (WR) @ NE
  • Matt Prater (K) vs. HOU
  • Tampa Bay (DEF) vs. KC

I’m just assuming he’ll insert Mostert over Zack Moss (who he currently has in his lineup), because Mostert is 150 times better (plus he’s someone I’m counting on in my other league, so of course he’ll come back to bite me in the ass here). I’m also half-expecting Korky to find an alternate defense, because I can’t imagine why anyone in his right mind would start a defense going up against the Chiefs.

I don’t totally love any of his matchups, really. Lock against the Saints looks like a nightmare. Goff is always a 3-INT game waiting to happen. Baltimore’s secondary is pretty solid. Cleveland’s defense is pretty stout up front. And if Stephon Gilmore follows Hopkins all over the field, that could be a long day for someone who is always a fantasy stud. D.J. Moore against the Vikings is probably his best matchup, but the Panthers have two other really good receivers they love to throw to, and you never know who’s going to be left in the lurch on that team on any given Sunday.

That being said, I can envision a scenario where any or all of those guys have great games (okay, probably not Lock). Don’t think I’m not supremely irritated he’s got Jonnu Smith and I’ve got A.J. Brown; I can’t see more than one of those guys having a good game against the Colts (my money’s on Smith).

Korky and I are two of the worst teams in the league (he’s one of only two teams that have scored fewer points than me this season. The difference between my 6-5 record and his 4-7 is … quite honestly bad luck! He actually has the FEWEST points scored against him, which is kinda mindblowing. It wouldn’t shock me to see the both of us duking it out in the Consolation Bracket for a #1 overall seed next year. If he beats me this week, that’ll open the door for the surging Sausage Shaped Pest to claim my spot in the 6-team playoffs. Sausage Shaped Pest is 5-6, but has almost 50 more points than me; if he beats Space Forcin’ and I lose, we’ll be tied in record, with one week to go in the regular season.

Who should I happen to play next week? Sausage Shaped Pest, of course! So, even if he stays within a game of me (meaning we both win, or we both lose), it’ll all come down to next week’s outcome. I would need to win and him to lose this week for me to clinch one of the final playoff spots. Pray for me! Pray for Nobody Beats The Wiz!