A Paragraph With The Mariners – 115

Josh Bard has got my vote for Man Of The Year.  First, he breaks up John Lackey’s no-hit bid, and now as of the minute I’m writing this in the top of the 5th inning with 2 outs, he’s 3 for 3 with a double and a Grand Slam to break this shit open 7-2.  Anyway, I tried to look up and see how many Grand Slams the M’s have hit this year (I can only remember the Jose Lopez slam off of Putz and maybe one other by Alfonzo?), but apparently that’s not a stat people like to keep track of.  Anyway, Josh Bard!  I think he’s pretty much the perfect backup catcher:  left-handed, has some pop, doesn’t seem to mind not playing everyday, doesn’t seem to let that lack of playing time turn into rust.  And he has 10 RBI on the season now, which is a third of Ichiro’s season total (you know, our everyday right fielder).  In other news, Milton Bradley’s season is done as he’s having surgery on his knee.  Still better than Carlos Silva.

A Paragraph With The Mariners – 44

And what do you know? The 3 days I was at the Gorge were the 3 days I would’ve been driven to the edge of sanity with this fucking team. A 5-1 10-inning loss on Saturday (after a particularly impressive win the night before) on a Felix Hernandez start (I think I heard somewhere that this was the 7th consecutive loss on a Felix Hernandez start). Then, two paltry relievers were jettisoned (Texiera and Colome, worthless piles of crap). THEN, on Sunday, I got to hear part of the rubber match against the Angels, since we somehow got AM radio reception at our campground. Got to hear the part where the Mariners – behind the big bat of their newly promoted catcher Eliezer Alfonzo – raked to a 7-2 lead midway through the game. Didn’t find out until I got back home that the game ended up as a 9-7 defeat. Which would’ve made the 1-run defeat in Memorial Day’s home-opener against the Twins all the more demoralizing. Whew! Glad I missed all the crap! Woke up this morning to discover these very same Mariners beat up on these very same Twins 7-1 to open up June. We were 8-19 in May after 11-12 in April. That’s 19-31 over the first two months. Cliff Lee Trade Watch is in full effect. Also, Felix Hernandez Suicide Watch for signing that extension in the offseason.