The Seahawks’ Offense Looked Great As They Trounced The Colts

It’s only one game, so I’ll do my best to not overreact, but that was an impressive Seahawks victory against a pretty good all-around team in Indianapolis. I know everyone likes to crap all over Carson Wentz – and he makes it easy to do sometimes – but he wasn’t the reason why the Seahawks beat the Colts 28-16. Now, granted, he didn’t go out and put his team on his shoulders either; my point is, there’s a great supporting cast around him – on both sides of the ball – plus a coaching staff that’s probably underrated.

And yet, the Seahawks made that win look pretty easy. That was an 11-win team from a season ago, with a stadium full of crazed fans, and the Seahawks had their way with the Colts!

There’s a lot to be impressed with, but I have to start with the offense. That was clearly my biggest worry heading into the season, and while it’s only one game, that’s far and away better than I ever would’ve expected, especially this early in the year. Not only did Russell Wilson rack up 254 yards passing and 4 TDs, not only did the running game generate 140 yards on the ground (with a 5.2 yards per carry average), but we got started right off the bat marching down the field and putting up points. The Seahawks scored touchdowns on their first two drives of the game, and on three of their four first half drives in total.

With the defense doing just enough, that amounted to a 21-10 halftime lead. As opposed to the other way around – which is usually what we get with your average Seahawks game – there was no need to frantically scramble to catch up in the second half. There was no need for the defense to be perfect to allow us to crawl back into the game. We got to be the aggressors on defense in the second half, while slowing things down on offense and running to bleed the clock.

It wasn’t a super-successful effort in the second half. Both teams traded punts and fumbles into the middle of the fourth quarter, but even with some struggles, it always felt like the Seahawks could move the all at will if they really needed to. Which is what they did in zipping down the field to take a 28-10 lead with just under 7 minutes left in the game. The Colts got a garbage-time TD, but that was it.

Wilson, as I noted above, was amazingly efficient (18/23 passing, 11 yards per attempt), hitting receivers on all three levels of the defense. Apparently, the Colts are notorious for suppressing the deep ball, but we still managed a 30 yarder to D.K. and a 69-yard touchdown to Lockett. Both of those receivers were great; Lockett had 4 for 100 and 2 TDs, Metcalf had 4 for 60 with 1 TD. Gerald Everett also got into the action with 2 catches for 20 yards and a TD.

Chris Carson was magnificent, running the ball 16 times for 91 yards; none of the other running backs on the team really did much (Penny ended up leaving with an injury). Carson also caught 3 balls for 26 yards, which is always good to see. The offense in general was humming, particularly at the most important points of the game: right off the bat, and to close it out. You love to see it.

The defense was everything you’ve come to expect from the best version of this era of Seahawks D. The Colts’ running game was held to a 3.8 yards per carry average (helped by 4 Wentz scrambles for 23 yards). Wentz himself was held to a 6.6 yards per attempt average. We were all over him in this one, getting 3 sacks, and pressuring him a lot more on top of that.

Rasheem Green carried over his torrid pre-season; THIS is the guy every Seahawks fan dreamed about when he was originally drafted in 2018. He had 4 tackles (1 tackle for loss), 1 sack, 2 passes defended, and 2 QB hits. Benson Mayowa and Darrell Taylor each chipped in with 2 tackles, a sack, and 2 QB hits. And Bobby Wagner and Jordyn Brooks led the team in tackles with 13 and 11 respectively.

I didn’t notice a lot from the secondary, either good or bad, which is probably as good as we can hope for right now. We weren’t torched, obviously, but I also don’t see any passes defended in the stat sheet (nor any picks, for that matter). Of course, the Colts are pretty depleted in their wide receiver room, so this was a nice, soft landing for our cornerbacks as we try to figure out the best combination of starters going forward.

Overall, I’m pretty happy with how this game went! It’s always nice to feel comfortable and not have to panic for three straight hours. The Seahawks usually take years off of our lives; in this one I think they finally put some years back on.

Seahawks Position Breakdown 2021: Tight Ends

Let’s finish this week’s Seahawks coverage on an underwhelming note! We can’t very well shoot our wad all at once; let’s save receivers and the O-Line for next week.

I’m actually quietly stoked for the tight end room this year. I don’t know if that’s warranted or not, but I guess we’ll see.

Gerald Everett is the big “get” for us, having signed a 1-year $6 million deal (with a 2022 void year costing us $2 million in dead cap space next year). Everyone I’ve heard talks about what a fantastic move that was for the Seahawks. Obviously, he has familiarity with the Rams’ offense, being a regular contributor for them the last four years. There was obviously a need for the Seahawks to address this position, after the Greg Olsen debacle a year ago. Everett has largely been healthy and relatively productive in his career. And, by all accounts, he looks like he’s fitting in beautifully so far in training camp!

That leads to the question of: why is he only on a 1-year deal? He’s young enough, he’s competent enough; we couldn’t have locked him in for 3 years at this salary average?

But, you have to follow that up with: how much should we really expect out of a Gerald Everett? When you think of the vaunted Rams offense since Sean McVay took over, do you REALLY think about the tight end position? As any fantasy football player will tell you, it’s easy to get sucked into punting on the position in the draft, then settling for one of the Rams guys in free agency. Once in a while, they’re good for a TD, but more often than not, the Rams have prioritized the wide receiver almost exclusively in the passing game, with various running backs also seeing good value as pass catchers out of the backfield.

Tight ends are oft-overlooked in the Rams’ offense. What makes you think that’ll be any different with Shane Waldron here in Seattle?

The Seahawks are another team, by the by, that have some elite wide receivers in their arsenal! With D.K. Metcalf and Tyler Lockett hogging the lion’s share of the targets, and with Russell Wilson being notorious for spreading the ball around every game, what is a Gerald Everett going to do for you that any other guy off the scrap heap couldn’t? Just because he’s a step up from Old Man Olsen doesn’t mean he’s necessarily worth $6 million per year.

We’ll see. Time will tell. I still like Everett, even though I don’t think we saw tremendous value in the signing. Either he blows up and commands more money next year, or he plays as expected and goes down as yet another overpaid tight end we’ve employed in the Pete Carroll era (or he under-performs and is REALLY a bust).

Behind him, we have Will Dissly back for his fourth season. After having his first two years cut short due to injury, he managed to play in every game in 2020. Granted, his production per-game has gone down every year, but I would argue he’s still a quality weapon for this offense, and a fantastic #2 tight end for this team. Particularly in his ability to help in pass protection. It’ll be exciting to see what he can do in a contract year, especially with what could be a very good crop of new tight ends coming out of the draft in 2022.

Colby Parkinson is an exciting prospect, who was drafted in the fourth round last year, and really only saw action in one game – a 40-3 blowout at home against the Jets – but he’s 6’7 and could be a tremendous weapon in the red zone given his frame. He doesn’t seem like much of a blocker, but Everett and Dissly already fill that role anyway; you bring Parkinson in for the mismatches he creates; either slower, shorter linebackers have to take him on, or teams have to spend secondary resources on him, that might still be too small to deal with his unique frame.

I am SO GLAD that the Seahawks didn’t invest any more heavily in the tight end position than they did with Everett, because why would you draft someone like Parkinson in the fourth round if you’re just going to bury him on your roster? He’s the #3 guy, it’s not like you’re asking him to assume a starting role in year two. This is exactly what the team should be doing with someone like him: bring him along slowly, hope his hands are as soft as advertised, and hope that he maybe develops into a starting-type tight end in year three.

That also leaves open the possibility for a fun prospect in Tyler Mabry to break onto the roster as the #4 guy. He was an undrafted player last year who spent most of the season on the practice squad. So, right there, he’s been in our system, and the team likes him enough to keep him around and try to develop him. He’s another offensive-minded tight end who – if he does that part of his job well – could earn more reps and more opportunities to round out into an all-around tight end.

Failing that, there are more rookies on the squad who could sneak through onto the practice squad. And, of course, there’s always Luke Willson out on the scrap heap, if injuries mount and we have a need to fill in the cracks.

My overall grade on the tight end room is a B. I don’t have to worry about these guys, unless literally EVERYONE gets injured at the same time. The top two guys will probably be in that B+ range, with the bottom two guys in the B- range. Regardless, there isn’t a ton of variance. Depth is a question mark – with the bottom two guys having less than 2 years’ experience – but I also don’t think we’re as tight end-heavy of an offense as many other teams in the league, so what does it matter? They chip in from time to time, otherwise they need to block well and be an occasional outlet for Wilson when he’s in trouble.

The Seahawks Signed Gerald Everett & Traded For Gabe Jackson

Today’s my birthday and I’m flying to Las Vegas later this morning, so we’re keeping this short and sweet.

Yes, the Seahawks were in need of a tight end, with the retirement of the waste of $7 million that is Greg Olsen and the impending free agency of Jacob Hollister. No, I do not have a high regard for the tight end position in our offense, and don’t think we should be putting our limited resources to overpaying for veterans.

Nevertheless, welcome Gerald Everett. 1 year, worth up to … $7 million (with $6 million guaranteed).

He was underwhelming as a member of the Rams, but nevertheless this makes sense as a signing, since he was a free agent, and we just hired our offensive coordinator from that organization. Of course Shane Waldron wants at least ONE player who’s familiar with the scheme he’s planning to run. Everett, in his four years in the league, has never had a season with more than 41 receptions (2020) or over 417 yards (also 2020). Was that due to Jared Goff & Co. not taking advantage of Everett’s skillset? Was that due to their wide receivers being elite and hogging all the targets? Or … was that due to scheme, and this particular style of offense doesn’t feature the tight end the way you’d expect as a team signing a guy for $7 million?

If it’s the scheme, and the Seahawks are going to run that scheme, then I think that’s a problem. If it’s because of there being elite receivers on offense … I mean, what do you call D.K. Metcalf and Tyler Lockett? Finally, it strikes me that if Everett had this great skillset, he would command more in free agency than 1 year and $7 million. Shit, the New England Patriots just signed TWO free agent tight ends to big money contracts, and that’s after drafting two tight ends the year before!

I’m not getting my hopes up. Thankfully, Everett is young and doesn’t appear to have had any significant injuries, so unlike – say – Ed Dickson, or again, Greg Olsen, it’s reasonable to expect Everett to play a full 16-game slate.

The move I like is trading for Gabe Jackson! The Seahawks needed a new STARTING left guard, and it looks like they have a good one.

Are you like me? Are you sick of watching the Seahawks continuing to dumpster dive the interior of the offensive line? Well, fret no longer! Jackson appears to be reliable at keeping guys off the quarterback, which is precisely what Russell Wilson has been clamoring for all offseason. He’s also notoriously healthy, which is big, since the Seahawks have employed a revolving door at left guard the last … forever? I have no idea; time is nonexistent.

He’s locked in for the next two seasons, and this will only be his eighth year in the league. So, he’s a veteran, he knows how to handle himself in the league, and something freaky would have to happen injurywise for him to miss time. So, look out for that, because “something freaky” seems to follow the Seahawks around like a storm cloud.

All he cost the Seahawks was a 5th round pick in 2021. Considering it seems like the Seahawks are prepared to punt this draft entirely – now with only three picks remaining, none earlier than late in the second round – I’ll take a starter at guard for a 5th round pick in a draft where scouts can’t really do a ton of scouting.

On the plus side, I’m expecting the Seahawks to work overtime on the undrafted players this year. Maybe – with all teams at a similar disadvantage in scouting – we can use our smarts and ability to recruit guys to our advantage in getting the best undrafted players to sign with us!

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2019: Winning A Squeaker

Very little about my team pleased me this week. The underwhelming performance kicked off with a thud on Thursday Night, when Scary Terry was well on his way to a solid game. He had 7.90 points at halftime, when it was discovered that Case Keenum had a concussion and was out for the rest of the game. Washington’s backup is a total bust, so 7.90 points was all Scary Terry could muster, as balls flew WELL out of his catch radius.

Sunday morning kicked off promising enough, though. Cooper Kupp had 35 points relatively quickly in his game. Gardner Minshew threw for 3 TDs, and even Carson Wentz did all right for himself against my Buffalo defense (who got me SOME points, which is all I was really asking for). But, of course, the INSTANT I bench Daniel Jones, he reverts back to Danny Dimes! He’s gotten me 80 points for my bench in his best two games of the year; meanwhile whenever I start him he’s that fucking Michigan J. Frog sitting there like a wart on my ass!

“Mediocre” is the best word to describe the rest of my team. The best of the rest was Tyreek Hill’s 14.10 points in the Sunday Night game.

Meanwhile, TheGangUnderperforms had quarterback troubles as expected. Big games from Julio Jones, Leonard Fournette, and Stefon Diggs kept him in it. Heading into Monday Night, I had a tenuous 25.35-point lead and no one left to play. He had Pittsburgh’s defense, who went into the halftime just doing okay, but apparently really turned it on after I went to bed. In the end, I won 147.55 to 145.20. Here’s to better times.

***

The win pulls me up to 4-4 on the season, in fourth place (I have tiebreakers over all the other 4-4 teams; there are four of us in total at 4-4) by way of having more total points. I’m fourth in total points, but there are a bunch of us who are really close; I still have the second-most points against. If I lose this week, at least one team will leapfrog me; more on that later.

***

We’re back to basics this week. Only one prominent player on BYE and that’s Kupp. I’m sticking with Wentz & Minshew (for as long as he’s still starting; damn you Nick Foles, don’t take this away from me!), because I don’t like Dimes against that Dallas defense. I’ve got Hill and Hilton as my receivers, both in okay matchups. Gotta love Le’Veon Bell for the first time this year, going up against whatever Miami has going on with their defense. Zeke is back and well rested, so he should pour it on against the Giants. I’m Ride Or Die with Waller and Jacobs, so let’s hope the Raiders do well against the Lions.

I don’t get to keep A.J. Green in my IR spot anymore, since he’s projected to come back after this week’s BYE, so that’s a little good news/bad news. I had to drop Gerald Everett to make room, but I can’t really justify keeping a second tight end with so many good players out there. I also dropped Robbie Gould, who effectively won me last week’s game with his 9 points, but also cost me David Montgomery (I had to drop someone), who I KNEW it was only a matter of time before he started kicking ass. That one really hurts, because I’d tried my damnedest to keep him, but the roster crunch is real.

To fill the empty spot, I picked up Jaylen Samuels, who I somehow got even with my relatively low waiver priority. It doesn’t look like James Conner is going to be out long (if at all), but I don’t mind stashing him on my bench for at least this week. I also picked back up Derrius Guice to put in my IR spot. They have him on track to suit up in Week 11, so he’s definitely someone to hang onto for the stretch run.

***

My opponent this week is Koncussion Protocol, who has a 3-5 record, but has about 6 more points scored on the season; so indeed, if he beats me, he’ll pass over me in the standings.

Thankfully, he has a number of guys out this week. Brees, Austin Hooper, and the Rams’ defense are all on BYE, plus Cam Newton is still recovering from injury. That leaves him with the very good Deshaun Watson, and the very okay Kyle Allen. His receivers are D.J. Chark and Allen Robinson; his running backs are Aaron Jones, Marlon Mack, and Derrick Henry. He’s got Kittle at tight end and Green Bay’s defense going up against the woeful Chargers. I have three of his guys in another league I’m in, so I’m sure the fantasy football gods will find a way for me to lose both games somehow.

His kicker is also the Rams’ kicker, and this is really interesting. He dropped Legatron to pick up Mason Crosby. I have to believe someone out there is willing to stash a second kicker on his bench for a week in order to upgrade to one of the best in the game. Since I’ve already got Tucker, I don’t see the point, but bully for whoever out there needs the boost.

Yahoo has me favored pretty comfortably, but I see a lot of touchdown-hungry players on his team, so nothing is taken for granted by the Space Pirates!

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2019: Back In The Saddle

Well, it wasn’t the prettiest, but a win is a win. I finally got some good luck in the “points against” department, when Mandelbaum’s Gym had a tough time scoring. Of course, he left Bridgewater on his bench (almost a 20-point swing, but no one was benching Kyler Murray against the Giants) as well as Latavius Murray (nearly a 30-point swing over Kerryon Johnson) and the Saints defense (a 10-point swing over the Bears) which all three combined would’ve been enough to give him the week (and would’ve been enough to cause me to quit fantasy football forever). 168.90 – 118.25. Complain enough on a blog nobody reads and the fantasy gods will finally smile upon me eventually!

I actually made all the right calls, except for the QB spot. Tyreek Hill somehow got almost his projected points, in spite of Mahomes going down with a freak injury. T.Y. Hilton had a good game, as expected. Darren Waller rewarded me for all my weeks of confidence in him with a 2-TD day (should’ve been 3 if not for a holding penalty); Zeke exploded for a nice Sunday Night game. And I even went ahead and benched Le’Veon Bell against the Pats (8.60 points scored) in favor of Josh Jacobs, who had a solid 16.40 points against the Packers.

But, as has been the case all year, I can’t get it right with my QB’s.

Daniel Jones is benched from here on out. I can’t believe I could’ve gotten Stafford and Godwin for him in trade after his 41-point week; it’s probably the dumbest decision anyone has ever made in fantasy football history. He had a terrific matchup in a high-scoring game against the Cards and couldn’t get out of his own way. Meanwhile, Minshew – once again – had a terrific day for my bench. What can I say? I’m an idiot.

***

The win this week brought my record up to 3-4, which officially puts me in the 6th seed for the playoffs, if the season ended today. There’s remarkable parity in my league right now, aside from the top guy who’s 7-0; the next seven teams are either 4-3 or 3-4, and we’re all within 155.02 points of one another. I have the third most points scored, and the second most points against.

***

It’s a real shame that Dimes isn’t worth a damn, because I’d love for nothing more than to be able to bench Carson Wentz this week, as he travels to Buffalo to go up against my defense. There’s just no good that can come from your quarterback going up against your defense. My hope is for Wentz to get on track, while the Bills still get some sacks or something; maybe a fumble return for a TD by one of the skill guys losing the ball. Long odds, but I can’t put Dimes in anymore, particularly on the road against the Lions. Worst case scenario is that Wentz throws a bunch of picks, but then the Eagles score a bunch of garbage points with their running backs. I hate this matchup.

With Zeke on a BYE, I’m rolling with Kupp, McLaurin, Jacobs, and Bell as my Big 4. Waller is still in there as my TE of choice, but the Texans apparently shut down tight ends with regularity, so I’m probably in for a terrible week.

My FLEX spot is the real disaster this week, as Hilton has a bad matchup against the Broncos, and Tyreek Hill has Matt Moore throwing to him. At this point, I’m leaning towards Hill over Gerald Everett; maybe he’ll take a WR screen to the house or something.

The guy I didn’t mention was David Montgomery, who I’ll once again have to drop (just as soon as the stupid Bengals finally rule A.J. Green out, so I can keep him in my IR spot), as I need a kicker this week, and there’s no way I’m letting Justin Tucker go. There aren’t a lot of great options on the free agency pile. I woke up super early on Wednesday morning to try to get Detroit’s kicker, but this whole IR spot situation is a real fiasco; I ended up losing out on him to the guy who has Dallas’ kicker, making my pickin’s even slimmer. I might have to go up until gametime on Sunday before filling out my roster in full.

As I noted earlier, I’ve got Buffalo as my defense. I could see them really dominating the Eagles and doing really well for me; I could also see them give up 30 points and really stinking up the joint. So, fingers crossed everything works out in my favor!

***

My opponent this week is TheGangUnderperforms, who in spite of his name really blew out his opponent last week! I lucked out with Lamar Jackson being on BYE; he’s forced to put Baker Mayfield in there up against the Pats’ defense. He also has Darnold going up against the Jags, so he could have a lot of QB problems much like yours truly!

Julio Jones should have a field day against the Seahawks, regardless of who’s throwing to him. I’d also wager highly on Stefon Diggs busting out against the Redskins (particularly if Thielen is out). Fournette has been an absolute workhorse for the Jags, and against the Jets should have no problem putting up big points. Ekeler has been a monster in the passing game, and it wouldn’t shock me to see him come up big in a difficult matchup with the Bears. He currently has Jimmy Graham as his tight end, who isn’t my favorite, but has a favorable matchup against the Chiefs’ defense. And his flex is currently Calvin Ridley, who isn’t good (now that I say that, watch him dominate).

He’s got the Saints’ kicker, who should ball out against Arizona; and the Steelers’ defense against Miami, so look for all the sacks and all the pick-sixes you can imagine.

I really don’t have a good read on what’s gonna happen this week. He’s got some really scary guys who could have enormous games, but he’s also got some possible duds in there (as do I, on both counts). This is a game I probably SHOULD win (I’ll be a slight favorite as soon as I pick up a kicker), but trying to predict fantasy football is about the dumbest thing you can do.

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2019: How Low Can I Go?

You may have read that I was all set to hand away Week 6, by not playing a tight end or a defense. On Saturday morning, I finally came to my senses.

I did the math, and I saw a game I could maybe steal if things went my way. For starters, Washington’s defense was still out there. And, until they gave up a couple garbage touchdowns late to Miami, they were having a fantastic day. Miami owes me at least 8 points for putting in Fitzmagic; who knows, maybe the Redskins could’ve gotten a late pick-six or something if Rosen played the entire game! I hate them with all of my being right now.

I also picked up Gerald Everett for the Rams. There weren’t a lot of great options out there (though, apparently I spaced out on Hunter Henry’s presence on the waiver wire, so that’s on me). It sounds like Everett COULD’VE had a solid game, but either there were drops or Goff was terrible or probably both.

I dropped Chris Thompson and David Montgomery to make those two moves. This week, I put in a claim for Montgomery again, dropping Washington’s defense because I’m gonna just roll with the Bills from here on out. Thompson is still safe and sound out in free agency, for now, with a case of turf toe (I think I’m probably over-rating him some a lot, but that’s neither here nor there).

I ended up losing to Crazy N8’s Prostates 178.30-161.95. The Rams royally screwed me, in multiple leagues. Alongside Everett’s dud, Cooper Kupp couldn’t get going either. I otherwise had good-to-great games from most of my roster. Wentz, Hill, Scary Terry, Zeke, and my kicker all were fantastic! The main problem with my team is my second quarterback, and there’s really nothing I can do about that but ride it out with the two rookies and hope for favorable matchups as the season progresses. I smartly sat Danny Dimes (who had only 2.85 points against New England), but Gardner Minshew wasn’t really much better (4.25 points against New Orleans). You can’t win games when your second QB is sucking all the life out of your team!

The loss drops me to 2-4 on the season. I’m in 8th place, firmly ensconced in the Consolation Bracket. I have the 6th most points scored, and I’m now officially up to the very most points scored against. Here’s how unlucky I’ve been: the rest of the league combined averages 155.17 points against per week; I’ve averaged 186.51. That’s like my opponent having an extra QB posting a GREAT day that I’ve got to account for each and every week just to win these fucking games! What kind of bullshit luck is that? Someone in the league averages only 122.62 points against! If I played his exact schedule, I’d be 5-1 right now and in the driver’s seat for a top 2 seed.

I hate fantasy football so fucking much.

***

The good news is, with Tyreek Hill officially back and kicking ass, I’m at full strength. This week, I’ve also got no one on BYE, so I just have to set my lineup based on matchups.

Wentz is always locked in, though if there was a week to sit him, it might be this one. Danny Dimes is hosting Arizona’s shitty defense, while Minshew is on the road against Cincy’s equally-shitty defense. I’m honestly struggling between the two – I think Minshew is the better player, but I think that Giants/Cardinals game will be higher scoring. So, I’m gonna go with Dimes again, but fool me twice six fucking times and you’re out of here, buster!

In spite of last week’s bungling, Cooper Kupp is one of my starting wideouts every week going forward. Hill is obviously a must-start as well. Both are in pretty great matchups (especially Kupp, going against Atlanta’s nothing defense). Zeke and Bell are also must-starts for me, though I’m a little less certain about Bell going up against New England’s defense on Monday Night. I might panic at some point and swap him out; but his ability in the check-down passing game is – I think – too good to pass up. My alternative is Josh Jacobs against the Packers, but I dunno. It’s on the road, and if the Raiders are down in that one, I could see them go away from the rookie. Jacobs probably has the higher upside over Bell, but I’m going with the safer play.

I’ve got Waller locked and loaded as my starting tight end the rest of the way, though I might hold onto Everett for a bit for some depth and/or as a trade chip. For my FLEX, I’ve ruled out Scary Terry (vs. SF), Montgomery (vs. NO), and Everett (he’s a TE). It boiled down to Jacobs or T.Y. Hilton and, without looking at their schedules, if I get burned on this one, I’ll likely just roll with Jacobs the rest of the way (unless he has an obviously terrible matchup). With Hilton’s Colts hosting the Texans, my hope is that it’s high scoring enough to see Hilton bust out with a big game. The more I think about it, the more I’m regretting it; if nothing else, just know that Hilton is projected to score more than Jacobs by Yahoo, so if I fail, I’ll gladly blame the website.

I love Tucker against the Seahawks – Baltimore should be able to move the ball at will – and I love love LOVE Buffalo’s defense at home against Miami (so watch Fitzmagic come out and torch ’em like he’s been known to do on occasion).

***

My opponent is Mandelbaum’s Gym, who features Mike Evans as his most-prominent BYE. He’s got Kyler Murray in a juicy one against the Giants, his other two QB’s are playing against one another (Bridgewater over Trubisky in his lineup for now).

He’s pretty well stacked at running back, with the returning Saquon Barkley (when he was originally injured, he was projected to still be out this week, but of course he makes a miraculous return in time to face my fantasy team; what else is new?), Kerryon Johnson, and Joe Mixon. Even without Evans, he’s still got Michael Thomas and Larry Fitzgerald as his wideouts, so that’s not too shabby at all. And, he just picked up Hunter Henry from waivers, who dropped 30 points last week in his return from injury. He has Houston’s kicker and both the Saints and Bears’ defenses (he’s starting the Saints at the time of this writing).

Yahoo has me projected to win pretty handily (around 20-point favorites), but I’m done trying to predict how these games will go. Odds are I’ll score around 160 and he’ll score around 220 and I’ll be back on here bitching and moaning again about the pisspoor luck my Space Pirates are cursed with. Fuck fantasy football.