I’m Expecting Nothing From Josh Gordon On The Seahawks

I think we can all agree that this is a no-risk move for the Seahawks, in making a waiver claim on Josh Gordon. At least, no risk that’s obvious at this time. The mind can imagine just about anything happening that might be a POTENTIAL risk, but let’s live in the real world for a moment.

Feel free to peruse Gordon’s Wikipedia page if you want a refresher course on all his problems; I’m not really too interested in all of that. Drugs are apparently high on the list, as well as some mental health stuff? I dunno, I’m sticking to football on this one.

Josh Gordon in 2013 was the best wide receiver on the planet. There’s just no debate. In a 2-game stretch that year – with the likes of Brandon Weeden and Jason Campbell throwing to him – he caught 24 balls for 498 yards and 3 touchdowns, which I have to believe (without doing any research whatsoever) is the best 2-game performance by a receiver in NFL history. Just imagine if he’d had Tom Brady throwing to him; he probably would’ve broken the universe!

Then, the problems, starting with an abbreviated 2014. He was out of football for 2015-2016, then came back for another abbreviated season in 2017. In 2018, the Browns finally had enough and he was shipped to New England for real this time (and not just in our 2013 dreams), where he was fine. At times he sparkled like the Josh Gordon of old, but he’s also now LITERALLY old(ish, at 28, but who knows how many years he’s taken off of his career with his troubles?), and he also had to leave the NFL for a spell before returning earlier this season.

With a knee injury, and I’m sure just being tired of all the bullshit, the Patriots finally had enough. They traded for Mohamed Sanu and that was all they needed to release Gordon. He’s apparently passed the Seahawks’ physical over the weekend, and all signs point to him at least getting in the mix as early as this week.

My reservations for this move start with the fact that if the Patriots couldn’t make it work with Gordon, what makes anyone think it’s going to work in Seattle? He’s not the explosive mega-athlete he once was in Cleveland, so is he really an improvement over D.K. Metcalf, for instance? We KNOW he’s not better than Tyler Lockett, and if he’s also not going to take snaps from Metcalf, then that means we brought in a #3 receiver to take over for David Moore or Jaron Brown.

Fine. I’ll buy that.

I believe that Josh Gordon is better than David Moore and Jaron Brown. That’s wonderful. Even with the Seahawks needing to pass more this year (to keep up with their wretched defense), we’re still not the Chiefs or Texans or Bucs. We don’t usually throw THAT much. If we’re talking about a guy who’s getting targets/touches behind Carson, Lockett, and Metcalf; how many targets/touches are we talking about? 3-4 per game? How much of a difference could he possibly make?

We’re also talking about a roster that – not for nothing – currently sits 8 wide receivers deep make that 7 wide receivers deep, with the waiving of Greg Jennings yesterday, with only 2 true tight ends. I don’t think you’re bringing him in to be the next Will Dissly, because I don’t think he really blocks all that much. And he’s certainly not coming here to play special teams. So, unless we run into a spree of injuries at the position, again this seems like a needless move at a position of relative strength (wide receiver is always going to get a boost with a quarterback like Wilson, no matter who he’s throwing the ball to).

Who knows? Maybe I’m being overly negative. Maybe those 3-4 catches per game will make all the difference. Or maybe it won’t matter on a per-game basis, but maybe he makes a clutch catch here or there in crunch time. It doesn’t have to be Gordon coming in and catching 200 yards per game; his impact could be a lot smaller in scope, but no less important in our overall goal of making the Super Bowl.

What I do know is that this whole experiment is a ticking time bomb. I feel like the best case scenario is he plays for the Seahawks in 7 more regular season games, plus the playoffs, as a small contributor to a well-oiled machine of an offense. The worst case scenario is he never plays a down; the Seahawks try him out, he can’t pick up the playbook, he reinjures himself, or he needs another leave of absence to get his head straight. I don’t think he’ll be a Percy Harvin-level distraction where he’s punching out teammates. My hope is that he’s not a different type of Percy Harvin-esque distraction.

Maybe this was more due to Darrell Bevell not being a good enough play-caller, or there not being a consistent voice in the offensive scheme when he was paired with Tom Cable, but when the Seahawks had Harvin and later Jimmy Graham, they never could make the offense work. Either they spent too much time trying to force-feed the ball to one guy (Harvin), or they flat out refused to throw the ball to the other guy in the red zone (Graham). When the offense faltered, it was always because the Seahawks didn’t know how to properly incorporate their new superstar acquisitions.

Fortunately, in this case, I don’t believe Gordon is that level of superstar. He’s fine. As I said before, he’s a #3 on this team, and maybe with the low stakes and low expectations, he can thrive in such a scenario. Being just one of the guys, as opposed to the one everyone is counting on to make every single big play.

What I absolutely DON’T want to see is this hindering D.K. Metcalf’s progress. Metcalf is the future; Gordon is a half-year rental. Metcalf is coming off of his best game as a pro and needs to continue to get opportunities to thrive with our quarterback. Gordon needs to be content with taking over for David Moore, or otherwise chipping in on some sub-packages.

I generally prefer to be pleasantly surprised over getting my hopes up only to be let down later. I think this is the perfect time to keep my expectations as low as possible. I wish Josh Gordon all the luck in the world, as long as he helps the Seahawks win football games.

Seattle Sports Hell 2013 NFL Power Rankings – Week 8

Tomorrow, I’m going to write a “We’re Halfway There” post on the Seahawks, since they’ve completed 8 games.  Here’s a hint:  the Seahawks are pretty fucking good.

Since I’ve already pretty much reduced all power rankings as being worthless, I suppose I should try to defend why I still have the Seahawks in the #1 position in mine.  I’d say that’s 90% me being a homer, 5% wishful thinking (especially with $700 on the line waiting for me in Tahoe if we win the Super Bowl), and 5% the cold, hard truth.

Tomorrow, I look squarely at the Seahawks.  So, today, I can look at the rest of the NFL.  The Denver Broncos have a world-beating offense, but they’ve been very fortunate with a lack of injuries at their skill positions.  And, I just don’t trust Peyton Manning when the weather turns cold.  Maybe, if he only had to play in the cold for one game, and that game was the Super Bowl, MAYBE he could swing it.  But, the way things are going, the whole road to the playoffs is going to be paved in cold-weather cities.  Unless Indy really is for real and they somehow overtake Denver in the playoff seedings, you’re looking at Manning playing playoff games in either Denver, New England, or Kansas City before he even GETS to the Super Bowl in New Jersey.  You’re telling me he wins 3 cold-weather games in a row?  I don’t think so.

Kansas City, as I’ve said all along, show me something when you play someone good.  It wouldn’t shock me in the slightest to see this team go 14-2, split their season series with Denver, and somehow find a way to win the AFC West.  But, if they do that, I guarantee they lose in the Divisional Round to whoever takes them on.  I also think, sometime soon, they lose a game to a bad team they should’ve beaten.  Come on, it’s Alex Smith!  It’s Alex Smith, an elite running back, and no one else!  This team’s good, but this team can be beaten.

Indy scares me, but Indy scares me a lot less on the road.  They also scare me a lot less with the Seahawks at full strength along the offensive line.  And, unlike most other Power Rankings, I like to look ahead in mine and predict where we’ll be at season’s end.  Indy is close, but they’re not there yet.

Finally, in the AFC, you’ve got the Patriots.  Tom Brady is falling apart.  He’s got all his weapons back, and everyone has been saying all season long, “Just you wait until Tom Brady has all his weapons back!”  Well, I’M WAITING!

In the NFC, you’re looking at three teams besides the Seahawks:  Packers, 49ers, Saints.  The Seahawks don’t play the Packers this year, but if they were to face them in the playoffs, I don’t think I’d be all that concerned.  Their loss of Randall Cobb is a crusher.  I don’t think the Seahawks have anyone who can cover that guy enough to be effective.  Nelson and Jones, on the other hand, would be manhandled by the L.O.B.

I think the Seahawks go into San Francisco later this year and I think we come away with the win (and lock up the division right there, no fuss, no muss).  And, I think the Saints lose their grip on the top seed when they come into Seattle on Monday night.  In week 13.  After our BYE week.

Over the past five games – where the Seahawks have been on the road for four of ’em – we haven’t looked our best.  But, we came out of that stretch 4-1, and that’s about as good as we could’ve hoped for going into the year.  With five of our last eight at home to close the year out – plus a BYE week thrown in for extra comfort – I would expect to see more of the elite performances we’ve come to expect out of this team.  But, more on that tomorrow.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this pic:

Well ... well look.  I already told you:  I deal with the god damn players so the head coach doesn't have to!  I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people!  Can't you understand that?  What the hell is wrong with you people?

Well … well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn players so the head coach doesn’t have to! I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people! Can’t you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

On to the rankings.


  1. Seattle Seahawks (7-1) – Yikes.  Our offensive line is scary-bad, and yet we’re still 7-1.  Cannot WAIT for Okung to get back.  Also, don’t hate too hard, because this defense is Top 3 in the league, easily.
  2. Denver Broncos (7-1) – You can see the Broncos trying to work in their running game.  If it ever develops, that could spell doom for the rest of the NFL.

The Rest:

  1. Kansas City Chiefs (8-0) – I was as high as anyone on the chances of the Chiefs making the playoffs going into this year, but perfect after 8 games?  That’s pretty ridiculous.
  2. Indianapolis Colts (5-2) – BYE week, BYE week, Andrew Luck, BYE week.
  3. Green Bay Packers (5-2) – The Packers lose a bunch of players on offense and they’re 5-2; the Falcons lose a bunch of players on offense and they’re 2-5.  Don’t ask me how the world works.
  4. San Francisco 49ers (6-2) – Whoop-dee-doo, they beat up on the Jacksonville Jaguars, BFD.
  5. New England Patriots (6-2) – Was looking a little grim, but the Dolphins are the Dolphins.
  6. New Orleans Saints (6-1) – Just Drew Brees being Drew Brees.  332 yards, 5 touchdowns; ain’t no thang.
  7. Cincinnati Bengals (6-2) – Andy Motherfucking Dalton!  I tell you, Jack Dalton’s Disappointing Nephew really took a leap forward!  That’s a little MacGyver reference for … you know what, look it up on Wikipedia yourselves, I’m tired!
  8. Detroit Lions (5-3) – Man, this offense is scary-good in the final two minutes of a game.
  9. Carolina Panthers (4-3) – These rough-and-tumble Carolina Panthers are here to F your S up!
  10. Chicago Bears (4-3) – The Bears aren’t too happy with the Cowboys right about now, that’s for damn sure.
  11. San Diego Chargers (4-3) – The Chargers aren’t good.  If they end up making the playoffs, that only means it’s because the AFC is who we thought they were.
  12. New York Jets (4-4) – Me and 7 buddies did that Total Wins Pool that they talk about on Grantland before the season.  Technically, you’re supposed to have 10 guys doing it, with each picking three teams, so no one has to get stuck with the Jaguars, but we were under a time-crunch and I could only get 8 total.  Anyway, the Jets were the next-to-last team picked, and they’ve ended up with 4 wins in their first 8 games.  Not too shabby for a team no one expected anything from.
  13. Atlanta Falcons (2-5) – Man, just when I was singing Matt Ryan’s praises and preventing outside poachers from trading for him to be their keeper, he goes out and lays THAT egg.
  14. Dallas Cowboys (4-4) – If I was Dez Bryant, I would’ve been throwing a shit-fit too.  Of course, that having been said, I’m pretty glad we don’t have a diva like that on the Seahawks (*knocking on wood that Percy Harvin isn’t that diva*).
  15. Baltimore Ravens (3-4) – I have nothing to say about the Ravens.  That’s me not saying anything at all if I don’t have anything nice to say.
  16. Arizona Cardinals (4-4) – Finally broke the streak of teams losing the week after playing the Seahawks.  I knew it was you, Fredo!
  17. Buffalo Bills (3-5) – What did you expect, the Bills to go in and keep pace with the Saints?  What’s wrong with you?
  18. Miami Dolphins (3-4) – Look, what you do with your money is your business.  If you want to go out and give Mike Wallace a huge contract, that’s on you.  But, don’t fuck with the emotions of fantasy football players the world over!  If you invest in a guy like Mike Wallace, then you should build your offense around a guy like Mike Wallace!  Instead of just having him be part of a crowd of mediocre receivers, highlight the man!
  19. Houston Texans (2-5) – Will the Case Keenum Express continue to dominate all comers?
  20. Cleveland Browns (3-5) – I guess when you replace Brandon Weeden, you get everyone falling all over themselves praising you.  But, Jason Campbell isn’t very good.  Keep that in mind.
  21. Tennessee Titans (3-4) – Probably the best timing of any team’s BYE week.  Jake Locker should be fully healthy and ready to prove himself.
  22. Oakland Raiders (3-4) – Nice win over a team they should beat.  The Steelers are, in fact, terrible.
  23. Philadelphia Eagles (3-5) – Two good offenses, two crappy defenses, so of course it ends up with the Giants winning 15-7.  If Foles was healthy, that game turns on a dime as soon as Vick goes down.
  24. Washington Redskins (2-5) – It boggles my mind that the Redskins are still in the running in the NFC East.
  25. New York Giants (2-6) – It boggles my mind even MORE that the Giants are still in the running in the NFC East.
  26. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-5) – I’d like to think that the outcome would’ve been different had the game been in Pittsburgh, but I don’t think that’s necessarily true.  What do the Steelers do to turn this around?  Do they hang onto Roethlisberger and wait for everyone else around him to develop?  Do they trade their star quarterback and blow the whole thing up?  It would seem to me Ben still has some good years left in him, but his body does take a pounding week-in and week-out.
  27. St. Louis Rams (3-5) – They play a tough home game against the Seahawks.  But, Clemens is their quarterback.  And they’re one injury away from starting … who?
  28. Minnesota Vikings (1-6) – What do you call a quarterback controversy when all three quarterbacks are equally terrible and ill-fit to be starting in the NFL on this particular team?  Is Joe Webb still around?  Can we make it a 4-way tie of terrible QBs?
  29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-7) – So, in two weeks, the Bucs will be playing on Monday Night Football at 0-8 against the Miami Dolphins.  Is it too late for ESPN to schedule Heidi instead?
  30. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-8) – Your 2013 Jacksonville Jaguars.

Matt Flynn Is The Best The Seahawks Could’ve Done

Given the circumstances, I couldn’t be happier with how this whole quarterback thing went down.

We weren’t getting Andrew Luck, we weren’t getting Robert Griffin, we weren’t getting Peyton Manning.  In essence, we weren’t getting the three best quarterbacks on the market in this offseason.  Where would that have left us?  Drafting the third, fourth, fifth, or sixth best quarterback out of college?  All of whom would be COMPLETE unknowns, yet almost assuredly downgrades from the top two guys picked.  Or, there were any number of crappy veterans out there, from Chad Henne, to Kyle Orton, to Jason Campbell, to Vince Young, to David Garrard, to Alex Smith … with the much-maligned Smith being the best of the bunch.  Then again, would you (as the Seahawks) REALLY want to sign Alex Smith to his sixth different offense?  I think he CAN be good, but I would still like to see him do it over more than just the one season before I invest too heavily.

As far as I can tell, Matt Flynn was the fourth-best option out on the market this offseason.  Yeah, he’s only started two games in the NFL, but that’s two more games than anyone coming out of college.  And besides, Peyton Manning is one hard hit away from the grave.

I have a lot of confidence in this move.  Yeah, the Seahawks have led us astray in the past with the last two quarterback signings.  But, those were two guys we KNEW would stink!  Charlie Whitehurst?  That was a total pipe-dream at best, picking another team’s third stringer.  And Tarvaris Jackson?  That might be the most bemoaned signing in franchise history!

Matt Flynn, on the other hand, comes in with a lot of fanfare.  This is the guy EVERY Seahawks fan wanted (at least, those fans smart enough to know who WOULDN’T be available … myself and my Drew Brees fantasy notwithstanding).  Matt Flynn was the ultimate prize, and not only did the Seahawks get him, but they got him for a reasonable deal!  So, if everyone is wrong and he flames out:  no big whup.  We go right back to the drawing board.

Or, we draft a project quarterback in this draft and hope HE makes something of himself.

I’m excited.  You know why I’m excited?  Because we’re going to have an open quarterback competition.  We can all probably take Pete Carroll’s words with a grain of salt at this point, but at least PUBLICLY this will be an open battle.  I’m sure if Tarvar comes out of the gate like a man possessed, they’ll give him the nod.  But, here’s the thing:  Tarvar in no way, shape, or form is going to come out of the gate like a man possessed.  He’s going to come out exactly as he has his whole career.  And Matt Flynn is going to beat him.  And we as Seahawks fans are all going to rejoice because we will have a starting quarterback who is BETTER than Tarvaris Jackson!

That’s more back-handed compliment than outright insult on Tarvar’s behalf.  Tarvar isn’t the WORST quarterback in the world.  I would take Tarvar right now over every other quarterback available in free agency this offseason (except Manning, of course).  Tarvar is an okay quarterback.  He’s an 8-8, middle-of-the-road quarterback.  The problem with Tarvar is:  he has a ceiling.  And he’s reached that ceiling.  Tarvar is never going to be better than he is right now.  And that is simply not good enough for a franchise looking to get back to the Super Bowl.

Matt Flynn, being better than Tarvar, means that he has a HIGHER ceiling.  A ceiling that could potentially lead us deep into the playoffs.

I want you to watch a video.  It’s a video of Matt Flynn’s first start against New England in 2010.  In that game, he went 24/37 for 251 yards, 3 TDs and 1 INT.  He had a passer rating of 100.2.  The Packers would go on to lose that game by 4 points, but I want you to pay special attention to our guy in his first NFL start.  I want you to see how very decisive he is!  I want you to marvel at his decision-making, and I want you to compare him in your mind to Tarvaris Jackson.  I want you to remember all those times Tarvar took a needless sack because he held onto the ball for 8 seconds when he should’ve gotten rid of it after 4.  It’s about ten minutes long, so settle in and get pumped.

He wasn’t perfect, mind you.  There were plenty of check-downs to beat the band.  But, he was taking what the defense gave him, he was moving the ball, and he was leading his team the way a quarterback is supposed to lead.  Shaking off the mistakes, coming back for more, and taking chances when chances are warranted.  I mean, shit, he came within a few more seconds of leading his team to a victory against a very good Patriots team in a Sunday Night, nationally-televised game!

We all know what he did against Detroit, in only his second start, in the final game of the 2011 season; and you can say what you want about Detroit’s shitty defense and the amount of Yards After Catch the Packers had.  I’ll just point to his  first start against the Patriots and say, “That Detroit game wasn’t a fluke.”  This guy COULD be for real.  And I couldn’t be more pleased.

Seattle Seahawks Quarterback Prospects Extravaganza 2012!!!

And the 2011 season isn’t even fucking over yet!  But, like I’ve never, ever said:  it’s never too early to start talking about who’s going to be your starting quarterback next season!

I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m about 95% sure Tarvar is going to be under center in the first regular season game for YOUR Seattle Seahawks.  Maybe Definitely I’m a pessimist, but that’s how I feel, and I generally think articles like these (which have already been written to the point of nausea, and which will certainly be written a million times over between now and the start of next season) are a total waste of time.  Then again, if it weren’t for the great and incessant need to waste as much time as humanly possible, why would blogs exist in the first place?

Plus, you know, a girl can dream and all that.

Peyton Manning – I’m going to start off with the looniest prospect to be Seattle’s quarterback next year, because it’s NOT GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN, PEOPLE!  Even one blog post, about this idotic, topic, no matter how much, you might respect the writer, is too many fucking blog posts about this idiotic topic!  The dude has probably played his last game, but that’s beside the point, because why in the hell would he sign here?  And why would we sign HIM?  He’s been out of football for a year, he’s one nasty hit away from being a paraplegic, and he’s going to be 36 when next season starts.  So just fucking stop it, all right?  Quit being an asshole and writing about why the Seahawks should or shouldn’t sign Peyton Manning, because it’s not going to fucking happen, the end.

Matt Flynn – Now, here’s a guy who makes some sense!  This is an interesting case, because his stock has never been higher and probably never will be higher, at least, as long as he’s still a backup.  That’s good and bad.  Good because you know what he’s capable of; you know what his ceiling is.  And boy, WHAT a ceiling!  480 yards, 6 TDs, over 70% completion percentage, a 136.4 passer rating … yeah, it was against Detroit (whose defense was in the bottom third in the league against the run and the pass), but still!  Those numbers don’t fuck around!

Which is bad, obviously, because his stock is so high, that means he’s going to cost a whole bundle of arms and legs to sign.  I still have no real idea if Green Bay is going to franchise him; the last I heard they weren’t.  But, it would be smarter if they did (for them, anyway).  Assuming Flynn isn’t franchised, then I don’t see why the Seahawks couldn’t get him.  We’ve got some of the deepest pockets in the league, and our cap space has to be among the best (what with all the young starters we’ve got up and down our roster).  If this front office wants Matt Flynn, this front office will sign Matt Flynn.  No ifs, ands, or buts.

The thing I wonder is, DO the Seahawks want Matt Flynn?  People like to mention the fact that John Schneider was in Green Bay when they drafted Flynn, as if that makes it a done deal that we’re just going to go out and pick him up.  But, if John Schneider likes Matt Flynn so much, why didn’t he try to barter with Green Bay LAST offseason, when this team was looking for a change of quarterbacks?  You can try to blame the lockout all you want, but there’s no reason why a lockout would prevent GMs from talking to other GMs.

Or, for that matter, why not two years ago, when the Seahawks went hog-wild to go after Charlie Whitehurst?  Are you telling me that two years ago, Charlie Whitehurst was THAT much better than Matt Flynn?  Schneider could’ve walked away from Green Bay the day he signed with Seattle and taken Matt Flynn with him for the price of a song.  And last year, that price might’ve been two songs, but it sure would’ve been a far cry from what it’s going to cost this year.

What this leadership tandem of Schneider and Carroll has shown is that they’re not afraid to go after projects.  Guys who have never played in the NFL.  If they see talent in someone, no matter how far out of left field they find them, they’ll pick him up.  So, why wouldn’t they drop Green Bay a 5th round pick last year to get Matt Flynn?

I’m thinking, while they don’t necessarily need to wait to see if a guy is a sure thing, they CERTAINLY didn’t expect what Flynn did to the Lions in Week 17.  Then again, maybe after the disaster that was the Charlie Whitehurst debacle, Schneider and Carroll are a little gunshy when it comes to trading for other teams’ second fiddles.

Either way, I don’t see how they could possibly pass on Matt Flynn, after he’s done what he’s done.  I mean, shit, the Seahawks brought Matt Hasselbeck in here from Green Bay as a backup, and at that point he’d attempted all of 29 passes in two regular seasons behind Brett Favre!  Matt Flynn COMPLETED more passes than Hasselbeck attempted, and in only one game!

Now, I’m not saying there won’t be competition.  Obviously Miami is looking for a quarterback, as is Washington, Cleveland, and maybe even Jacksonville.  They can’t all get their guys from the draft!  After Luck goes to Indy, there are only a small handful of guys you’d want to trust, starting and practically ending with the Heisman Trophy winner.  But, I gotta think if the Seahawks really want Flynn, they’re going to get him.

If he’s a free agent.  It’s a whole other ball of worms if Green Bay franchises him and holds him for ransom.  If that’s the case, then they’re probably going to hold out for a Number 1 or a 2 and a 3.  It’s a risky venture, because if the teams in need call your bluff, then you’re over-paying for a guy who probably won’t play a down next season.  Either that, or they’ll force your hand and make you drop your asking price.  But, usually in these cases, the team with the supply wins out over those in demand and gets what it wants.

My main concern, in this scenario, is the overall cost in getting Flynn.  While I can make the argument that the kid has proven he’s a bigtime player in this league, I can also point to the fact that it was only one freakin’ game, against a defense that was God awful!  In that sense, is he really worth it?  I mean, I don’t want to call Kevin Kolb a bust just yet, but it’s not like he was Arizona’s savior out of the gate this season!  It’s not the money I’m concerned with, it’s the draft picks and/or the players on the roster we would have to trade that I want!  Yeah, it’s only been two drafts, but Carroll and Schneider have been pretty fucking shrewd in their draft picks.  I’d like to see what they can do when they have a pick in every single round; just imagine the starters we could get out of that!

All of that was just a long-winded way of saying, “Yes, sign Flynn if he’s a free agent; no, don’t sign Flynn if he’s going to cost a shitload of draft picks.”

Trade Up For A Super Stud In The Draft – This … is another option.  It’s difficult to defend this option, but it’s certainly out there.  Ever since New Orleans and Mike Ditka traded all of their picks to draft Ricky Williams … I’m not gonna lie to you, you’re gonna get killed in the press if you do this!  If we’ve learned anything over the years as football fans (and especially as Seahawks fans), is that if you have a few bad drafts in a row, your team is going to get remarkably worse.  You need the talent, you need the depth that comes from a draft class.  Whiff too many times, and you’re going to find your team sorely lacking in many key areas once your team is gutted by injuries, old age, and free agency.

Essentially, what this option means is:  you’re giving up an entire draft class worth of potential starting talent and potential depth … for one guy.  Which could set your team back more than it would leap forward with the one stud you got.

If you’re going to sell the whole farm for one golden goose, you better be damn sure that bitch lays you some 24-karat eggs.

I think by now, if you’ve read this blog enough, you know how I feel about Andrew Luck.  But, let me reiterate:  I would not only trade the Colts however many draft picks they want for the right to draft Andrew Luck, but I would sell my soul to Satan himself to see my team led by a bona fide superstar.

Anything less than Andrew Luck, ehh, I don’t know.  To be honest with you, I don’t know a whole lot about the other college quarterbacks.  Robert Griffin III might be good, or he might be like just about every other Heisman Trophy winning quarterback (a total bust at the next level).  After that, you got me.  I’m sure I’ll learn more as the draft approaches, but right now, if the Seahawks are going to trade up for anyone BUT Andrew Luck, I’d probably be pretty sick about it.  Not necessarily angry, but I’d be so God damn overcome with creeping, nagging doubt that it would be impossible to feel good about such a move.

Some Other Loser Quarterback Who Lost His Starting Job Because He’s A Loser – I’m not going to dignify some of these other names with their own sections in this post, because I don’t feel they even deserve mentioning.  For the record, the following quarterbacks I’m about to mention would never in a million years be signed by the Seattle Seahawks in 2012 because none of them are notably better than Tarvar.

I’m looking at you, Kyle Orton, Jimmy Clausen, David Garrard, Brady Quinn, or Jason Campbell.  Why would the Seahawks go after ANY of these guys when they’ve just spent the past season with Tarvar under center?  Sure, he’s bad, and he’s definitely not a significant part of Seattle’s future, but neither are any of those other schlubs I just mentioned!  If I absolutely HAD to pick one, I’d probably go with Garrard, because he’s shown to be pretty accurate (and a guy who avoids interceptions) on a team with absolutely no weapons through the air.  After that, the rest of those guys can fuck right off.

In the end, what do I think will happen?

It’s tough to say, because there are so many variables.  My gut tells me, though, that the Seahawks keep Tarvar, they draft a quarterback either in the first round (if a top-tier guy is available) or they trade up in the second round to get an Andy Dalton type guy, they let him sit for the entire 2012 season, and then they hand over the reigns in 2013.

That’s just my gut talking, though.  Don’t listen to him.  Dream big!  Matt Flynn in 2012!!!

Suck For Luck Impotence Rankings Vol. IX

I’m pretty sure I made some declaration some weeks back about how I was going to see this thing through to the bitter end.  Well, to hell with that; the Suck For Luck Impotence Rankings have had a good run.  It’s going on hiatus for a while though, because who cares?

Before I close shop on this feature, I’d like to talk about quarterbacks and the NFL Draft.  Obviously, the Seahawks are going to have to draft a quarterback in the 2012 draft, so I thought I’d take a brief look back over the last 8 NFL drafts.  Why 8?  Because 2004 was the last truly great draft for NFL quarterbacks; it’s something we’re going to have to hope repeats itself if we ever want to have hope in Seahawksland in the foreseeable future.

In the past 8 NFL drafts, 104 quarterbacks have been taken.  Out of those 104 quarterbacks, I would estimate 20 have been servicable on the NFL field.  That’s being GENEROUS, because I’m including Alex Smith who has long been considered a huge bust (but has proven to be at least a competent game manager at times, including this year where the 49ers are dominating); Jason Campbell, who has at least shown in the past season-plus that he’s capable of winning games for the Oakland Raiders; and Kyle Orton, who for a while there was playing middle-of-the-road football until he lost his job this year for a rebuilding Broncos squad.

Now, if you want to count the truly ELITE quarterbacks out of that 104, you’re looking at the following list (in no particular order):

  • Eli Manning
  • Philip Rivers
  • Ben Roethlisberger
  • Matt Schaub
  • Aaron Rodgers
  • Joe Flacco
  • Matt Ryan
  • Matthew Stafford

Again, I’m probably being generous there; you could easily knock that list in half and I probably wouldn’t argue with you too much (still, we’re talking about 3 Super Bowl winners, another 3 who’ve made it to the playoffs more than once, Schaub who has two 4,000+ yard seasons under his belt and was well on his way to a third before he was injured last week, and Stafford who has proven to be excellent when he can stay healthy).  So, to be generous, let’s count ’em all:  8.  8 guys in 8 years.  These are franchise quarterbacks we’re talking about here!  Everyone who picks a quarterback in the first round does so with the expectation that THEIR guy will be a franchise quarterback.  And in the last eight seasons, we’ve averaged 1 per.

Of course, that number isn’t etched in stone.  Some of these guys I haven’t included in the 8 might just need more time.  But, I think it’s pretty safe to say that the bulk of the guys who I didn’t list AREN’T going to be turning any heads any time soon.

Want to look at it another way?  Let’s just look at the first three rounds.  Because, let’s face it, anything after that your chances are Slim-To-Fucking-None.  Do you know who has been even remotely worth a damn from the rounds 4-7 in the past 8 drafts?  Matt Cassel, Kyle Orton, and Ryan Fitzpatrick (all in the ’05 draft).  That is IT!  Of the 20 quarterbacks I referenced earlier, 3 of them came after the third round.  Only Matt Schaub was picked in the third round.  And only Andy Dalton was picked in the second round (the jury might still be out, but considering what he has achieved as a rookie, I’d definitely put him in the servicable pile).

That leaves 15 quarterbacks, who were all picked in the first round.  Out of a total of 23 quarterbacks taken in the first round.  But, let me remind you, I’m being generous here with my rankings!  In addition to those 8 elites above, and the other servicable guys in the last paragraph, I included the following, who are all first rounders:

  • Vince Young
  • Jay Cutler
  • Alex Smith
  • Jason Campbell
  • Sam Bradford
  • Josh Freeman
  • Mark Sanchez
  • Cam Newton

Vince Young is a head case and currently a backup; Cutler has a cannon of an arm, but hasn’t really put it all together yet; Smith and Campbell I’ve talked about; Bradford doesn’t even have two full seasons under his belt yet; Freeman could be great, but he’s yet to play with a full allotment of weapons; Sanchez could be terrible, but he’s been bequeathed an otherworldly defense and a pretty-good running game; and Newton LOOKS like the real deal, but he’s still a rookie leading a 2-7 team absolutely nowhere.

The point is, while 15 out of 23 sounds like pretty swell odds for a team drafting a QB in the first round, not all of those 15 are guys you’d actually feel comfortable handing the keys to your franchise.  Sure, their fanbases have to talk themselves into the Jay Cutlers and Alex Smiths of the world because that’s who they’re stuck with; but you know they’d rather have Aaron Rodgers, Philip Rivers, or even Ben Roethlisberger instead.

I know I have the utmost confidence that Andrew Luck will be that next Elite-Level quarterback.  But, will there be a second?  In only 2008 and 2004 have we had multiple Elite-Level QBs in the past 8 drafts.  Who knows?  Maybe it’s an Every Four Years kind of thing.

Anyway, without further ado, the Final Suck For Luck Impotence Rankings:

  1. Indianapolis (0-10) – Fuck you, Indianapolis.

Who Or What Are An Oakland Raiders?


Apparently they suck at throwing the ball but are good at running the ball (which we negate by being good defensively against the run and kinda mediocre against the pass).  And apparently they’re really good defensively against the pass, but can’t stop a running back to save their lives (which we negate by being terrible at running the ball anyway, and very inconsistent throwing the ball).

So, if this thing plays by the book.  If instead of throwing human beings out on the field, we just play this game out on paper :: it will end in a 0-0 tie after one uneventful overtime.

Injuries could be a bit of a factor for both teams.  Okung looks to be sidelined for at least a week with his other stupid ankle acting up (something tells me his lower extremities weren’t cut out for this cut blocking shit), which is really too bad because when he was out there last week, we were running the ball down Arizona’s throat.  Was that coincidence?  Did it just take them a little while to get what we were trying to do offensively?  Or is Okung that much of a factor in the run game?  I guess we’ll find out, because Oakland is 28th against the run, giving up 138.9 yards per game.  So, that’s the magic number I guess.

We MIGHT be getting Mebane and Jennings back.  That’s going to work wonders for our depth, plus should shore up some of those run deficiencies we saw at times last week.  I’m not guaranteeing they’re playing, but I heard somewhere there’s a chance and that’s good enough for me.

As for the other team, did you know that Bruce Gradkowski is “technically” their Number 1 quarterback?  I did not as well (except I totally did because I’m in a scramble this week to fill a quarterback on BYE in my fantasy team).  I guess Jason Campbell really is a bust; I mean, if you can’t keep Bruce Gradkowski off the field, Jesus!  Personally, if it were me out there, and I was unable to supplant Bruce Gradkowski, I would kill myself.  But, you know, that’s me.  I have pride.

It also looks like a couple of wide receivers – in a corps that’s already pretty bad to begin with – are going to be out.  I don’t know what that means exactly; if we can shut down Larry Fitzgerald, I’m pretty sure we can shut down the best of what the fucking Raiders have to offer.

Bottom line:  the Seahawks SHOULD win this game.  We’re more talented at more positions (and, let’s face it, we’re more stable at more positions, including front office and head coach).  That having been said, on a scale from 1-13, with 13 being the most confident that the Seahawks will win, I’m officially a 1 for this game.

What do we have going against us?  Well, for one, the road thing.  I’m not going to sit here and say we exorcised all of our demons just because we beat a terrible Bears team.  Exhibit A:  20-3 loss to St. Louis.  Are the Raiders really that much worse than the Rams?  No way.

Also, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?  59-14 against the Broncos IN Denver?  Seriously, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?  If that’s the Raiders at the peak of their ability, then they just might be the most dangerous team in the NFL.  Then again, the week before, they went into San Francisco and lost 17-9, so go fucking figure.

It sucks playing these kinds of teams.  These teams where you don’t know if they’re going to be world beaters or world losers.  Are we going to catch them in a week where they turn the ball over 4 times and look completely mentally challenged on offense?  Or, are we going to get them when they bust loose for 200 yards rushing, hitting for long gains in multiple drives?

What we have going for us is that WE’RE one of those teams too.  You never know if we’re going to run out of the gates stomping everything in our path, or if we’re going to make Pete Carroll’s white hair fall out due to incompetency on offense and/or defense.  Teams can throw on us.  Will the Raiders do that this week?  Or will we make just enough plays to keep them in check?

The last time we played the Raiders in the regular season, we stomped their shit in on Monday Night Football about 4 years ago.  I don’t think this is going to go the same way; but it’d be cooler if it did.