Let Free Agency Begin: Seahawks Re-Sign Breno Giacomini

This is a win every way you slice it.  No, it’s not Beastmode, nor is it Red Bryant, but I would argue the importance of this signing is ALMOST on par.

With Pancakes Carpenter losing a full year to an ACL tear, we’re going to need a guy like Giacomini who was able to come in during the last half of last season and be a solid contributor to a line that got better and better as the season wore on.  It’s quite possible Carpenter goes on the PUP list at the beginning of the season, so at least we’ll have some continuity on that end.  And, if/when Carpenter comes back, that just means we have some real good depth in reserve.

Let’s face it, if we’ve learned nothing from the last three seasons, it’s that you NEED plenty of quality backup offensive linemen, because you almost NEVER go a full season with the same five guys.  And with the way each and every starter on our line – Okung, Gallery, Unger, Moffitt & Carpenter – have all proven to be injury prone, being able to retain a guy like Giacomini – who not only has starting experience, but QUALITY starting experience – is a God damn coup.

Plus, I think I heard on the radio that Pancakes Carpenter might project to be a starting left guard, should things break down on the Gallery front.  Hell, as long as our first round draft pick is starting SOMEWHERE on the offensive line, I’ll be happy.  If he’s better served in the middle of the line, fine, whatever.  Get it done!

It’ll be interesting to see what the Seahawks are able to get done between now and the draft.  This is a promising start to our free agency season.

On Why I Think The Seahawks Will Go 2-14

This year’s Seahawks team will be, in a lot of ways, like last year’s team.  I think when they win, for the most part, they’ll  look okay; and when they lose, they’re going to get beaten into submission!

One exception might be Week 1 at San Francisco.  I certainly don’t think the Seahawks will win this game (in fact, my money is on the Seahawks losing by double digits), but the Seahawks COULD keep it interesting.  Could.  I dunno, maybe I’m not as down on Alex Smith as the rest of the world.  Sure, Alex Smith sucks, but is he really THAT bad?  My definition of THAT = Tarvaris Jackson & Charlie Whitehurst.  In his career against the Seahawks, Alex Smith has been pretty okay.  8 passing touchdowns (another 2 running) vs. 3 interceptions.  Tack on the fact that when he’s been healthy, Frank Gore has been killing Seahawks like Lionel Cosgrove kills zombies (5.75 yards per attempt career vs. Seattle), and I’d say right there that’s enough.  But, San Fran also has a good rush defense.  And their pass defense can’t be THAT bad (see:  above definition of THAT).  My guess:  San Francisco 24, Seattle 13.

Week 2 at Pittsburgh, just forget about it.  We’re going to be slaughtered.  If we literally make it out of the Steel City alive, I’ll be shocked.  What I’m trying to say is, they’re going to beat us so bad, a group of disgruntled, despondent players (probably led by Sidney Rice, Robert Gallery, Leroy Hill, and punter Jon Ryan) will likely attempt to overtake the cockpit during their flight home and crash the plane into Mount Rushmore instead of suffer the ignominy of playing one more game under this conglomerate of Seahawks players.  My guess:  Pittsburgh 44, Seattle 0.

Our best and likely only chance at a victory before the BYE will come in Week 3, during the home opener vs. Arizona.  Much like the San Francisco game, I just don’t see it happening for us.  If Tarvar is still standing and starting, this is where you’re first going to start hearing the steady stream of boos via the home crowd who paid good money for shoddy footballing.  It won’t all be Tarvar’s fault, but he will cough up the ball more than once.  The Cardinals, meanwhile, will have given Kevin Kolb the softest landing possible (week 1 vs. Carolina, week 2 @ Washington) as he steadily leads them to a 3-0 record while not looking all that amazing.  My Guess:  Arizona 31, Seattle 20.

In Week 4, again, forget it.  At home, vs. Atlanta, it’s going to be a repeat of last year down to the yard.  I don’t understand why everyone is so down on the Falcons this year; they had an awesome year last year, they’re bringing just about everyone of import back, and if they can stay healthy at quarterback, they should be able to continue rocking and socking opponents.  They might not win as many as they did last year, but they’ll still be in the playoffs!  And, as I said before, I got them in the Super Bowl.  My Guess:  Atlanta 45, Seattle 17.

Chock up an 0-5 record after Week 5 when the Seahawks go on the road to face the Giants.  First of all, they’re just better than us.  Secondly, they’ve got a HUGE bone to pick with us for taking a playoff spot last year (at 7-9), when they finished 10-6 and stayed home.  They still haven’t lived down that whole 12th Man/False Start fiasco game, so believe me when I say they’ll be looking to throw it down our throats.  My Guess:  New York 33, Seattle 13.

Week 6 is our BYE.  This is when everyone is saying Tarvar will be benched in favor of Charlie Whitehurst.  I concur.

In Week 7, we go to Cleveland.  A lot of people are riding Cleveland’s jock this year even though they didn’t do a whole lot last year.  Are you REALLY buying into Colt McCoy?  I know Peyton Hillis is like White Running Back Gold, but I dunno.  They jumped up and bit a couple of playoff teams last year and I think that’s exciting, but for Cleveland to withstand the long haul of a season (when they play in a division featuring Pittsburgh and Baltimore) is expecting a little too much.  In spite of that, this is a road game.  This is a road game that starts at 10am in the Pacific Time Zone.  This is the third consecutive road game to start at 10am in the Pacific Time Zone (of the five we have all year).  I don’t have to tell you how the Seahawks fare in this type of situation.  Nevertheless, I see them keeping it reasonably close.  My Guess:  Cleveland 16, Seattle 6.

I think we’re likely to see our first win in Week 8, when we play host to the Cincinnati Bengals.  Cincinnati will be one of a handful of teams we’ll be competing with in the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes, and for the life of me I don’t know if we can beat them and still hold down the #1 pick.  Maybe they can steal a home game against the 49ers or Bills?  Maybe they shock Cleveland once, or steal a game late in the season when Houston starts to fade (as they always do)?  I don’t want to say we’re looking at an 0-16 team here, but I’m sayin’ there’s a chance (YEAH!).  I have to hope beyond hope this isn’t another 1992 season situation (where the Seahawks and the Patriots both had the same record, but since we beat them, they got the #1 overall pick and selected Drew Bledsoe).  Although, these ARE the Bungals; who’s to say they don’t pass over Andrew Luck for some linebacker or something?  My Guess:  Seattle 28, Cincinnati 14.

In Week 9, we go on the road to play Dallas (in yet another 10am start).  I don’t see this going well (because I see Dallas being a playoff team this year).  Tony Romo has a lot of reasons to hate us, he’s still got a lot of weapons, and they still have a defense that’s swarming & attacking like nobody’s business.  My Guess:  Dallas 35, Seattle 10.

By the time Week 10 comes around (when we host Baltimore), Charlie Whitehurst will have bought himself some time with some all-right play.  This is where that ends.  I’m seeing turnovers on top of turnovers, followed by a late-game injury that puts Tarvar back in the driver’s seat.  Meanwhile, Baltimore rolls all over us.  My Guess:  Baltimore 37, Seattle 17.

Going into Week 11, we’re 1-8, we’re most likely banged up, and where we’re not banged up we’re still incredibly young.  Going into week 11, where we go to St. Louis to play the Rams, they’re most likely not doing all that much better to tell you the truth.  By the time Week 11 rolls around, they will have played Philly, Baltimore, the Giants, Green Bay, Dallas, New Orleans, and they’ll have gone on the road to play Arizona and Cleveland.  Who’s to say the Rams won’t be down near the bottom of the division based solely on schedule alone?  Who’s to say the Rams won’t be ready to take advantage of a terrible Seahawks team?  My Guess:  St. Louis 35, Seattle 7.

In Week 12, the Seahawks face their 2nd biggest test of the season.  But, not in the way you’re thinking.  The Redskins come to town and I have to believe they’ll be poised for the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes as well.  Why did Seattle have such utter misfortune as to play the worst couple of teams in the NFL at home?  There’s no way we don’t beat Washington, is there?  Meanwhile, who do they play?  They go on the road to Carolina and Buffalo back-to-back; that MIGHT be two wins, but I wouldn’t count on it because I (unlike most others) like Buffalo and think they can shock some teams this year (similarly to the way Cleveland shocked a couple teams last year).  I gotta hope Washington takes out Arizona or Minnesota or the 49ers at home, because the rest of their home contests are hard as shit.  My Guess:  Seattle 31, Washington 28.

In Week 13, on a Thursday night the NFL Network must already be regretting, the Seahawks host the Philadelphia Eagles.  It’s almost like the NFL has a crystal ball and looks into the future for the WORST possible matchups based solely on the outcome of the game and based nothing on what this game could represent going into the season (or the offseason, or whenever the schedules are actually released).  There’s no way the announcers aren’t yammering on for 20 solid minutes about the Pike Place Market in the middle of the third quarter.  My Guess:  Philadelphia 44, Seattle 21.

Eleven days later, we host the Rams during Week 14‘s Monday night.  Under normal, non-Andrew Luck Sweepstakes circumstances, I’d say this is the NFL making up for the fact we play a shitload of 10am games and have to travel more than anyone else in the league.  Who knows, if we had Hasselbeck for this game, Week 14’s matchup might actually mean something.  As it stands, this should probably end up being a more exciting game than anyone really deserves.  I’m seeing a last-minute drive by Sam Bradford to lead the Rams narrowly over the Seahawks.  My Guess:  St. Louis 34, Seattle 33.

In Week 15, the Seahawks will be 2-11 and going into Soldier Field to play the Bears.  I don’t think Chicago will be worth two shits this year, but it’ll still be December and it’ll still be in the Midwest.  Look for the Bears to take us out much like they did in last year’s playoffs, no matter who’s starting at quarterback for them by then.  By the way, how pissed are the Rams?  They finish 2nd in the NFC West, yet their record dictates they have to play the Super Bowl winner and the New Orleans Saints!  Meanwhile, we get the Bears (who were lucky as all hell to win their division last year) and the Falcons (who many are down on).  Just thought I’d point that out.  My guess:  Chicago 21, Seattle 3.

In Week 16, on Christmas Eve, the Seahawks will host the 49ers, and I’m not gonna lie to you, we’ll be in full-tank mode.  At this point, Pete Carroll will be looking for answers, so enter Josh Portis to make his NFL debut.  Portis will show flash and sizzle, but in the end won’t have what it takes to beat on the surprisingly still-in-the-hunt-for-the-division 49ers.  My Guess:  San Francisco 27, Seattle 21.

In Week 17, Seattle goes to Arizona to finish the run of games.  Seattle will lose.  Seattle will still be contending with a couple of other teams, in all likelihood.  I can’t tell you how many people think Buffalo will be right down near the bottom, but I’m just not seeing it.  I like Ryan Fitzpatrick!  He showed a lot of moxie last year!  Plus, they play the AFC West, the Cincinnati Bengals, and the Tennessee Titans at home.  There’s got to be 5 or 6 wins in their future.  Meanwhile, Carolina.  Oh whoa Carolina!  I’m putting them in the toughest division in the NFC (with potentially three playoff teams in the mix), plus they play Green Bay, Detroit (in Detroit), and they start off the season in Arizona.  They have Cam Newton (who will be balls) starting, so that right there will keep them in the lower 5th of the league.  The one upside is:  what are the odds a team takes back-to-back quarterbacks #1 overall in back-to-back NFL Drafts?  Are you REALLY going to invest all of this money in Cam Newton, then turn around and take Andrew Luck the very next year?  Seems kinda silly if you ask me.  My Guess:  Arizona 17, Seattle 10.

And THAT, my friends, is how you find the Seahawks at 2-14 to end the season with a shot at the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes (again, see above definition of THAT).  I encourage you to join me over here.  We the Resigned, we the Giving Up, we the Looking Ahead To Next Year!  Join me, stop caring about wins, quietly root for losses (or, at the very least, 1 more win for all the other crappy teams out there), and let’s look ahead to the #1 draft pick in next year’s NFL Draft!  Yes We Can!

Seahawks Finish Preseason, Make Cuts, Ready Themselves For Losses That Count

I probably didn’t see much more than a minute or two of the action last Friday as 7:30pm was the exact time my fantasy footall draft started.  It’s a good thing Golden Tate had a whale of a game, because I was pretty nervous that drafting him in the first round was a bad idea.

But, it’s not like it matters that I didn’t see the game, because what can you learn from a game like this anyway?  Pete Carroll went the standard route of having the starting quarterback play only a couple of series.  Then, Charlie Whitehurst came in and showed everyone why he wants to be known as The World’s Best August Quarterback.  There were field goals made by a kicker we would subsequently waive over the weekend; there were touchdowns scored by running backs we would subsequently waive over the weekend.  Justin Forsett averaged 3.0 yards per carry; Leon Washington averaged significantly less; and Tarvar – in spite of his only playing those two possessions – still managed to throw an interception.

The only thing we actually learned is:  we need to stop playing the Oakland Raiders.  Every time we play them, we come out of the game riddled with injuries!

This time, it’s Robert Gallery and defensive lineman Jimmy Wilkerson.  So that’s … that’s just great.

Over the weekend, we picked up Denver’s backup kicker (the guy who made the game-winner against us a couple weeks ago) and three other guys.  In exchange, I dunno.  Colin Cole is gone; a casualty of injury and money concerns.  Deon Butler starts on the PUP list, so that’s a shred of good news for a guy trying to come back from a brutal leg injury.  We kept Josh Portis as our third quarterback; that’s pretty exciting I guess.

The great national nightmare is officially over.  No more preseason for another year.  Now it’s on to the regular season.  Now it’s on to the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes.

Seahawks Preseason 2011, Game 2: Minnesota

If I were going to draw conclusions from the first two preseason games, I’d have to say that in spite of having some talented players, the Seahawks are going to be a terrible football team in 2011.

But, of course, nobody in his right mind would ever draw conclusions based on the first two preseason games because that’s retarded.  Still doesn’t change the fact that when things have somewhat mattered – in the first couple drives of the San Diego game and in the first half of last night’s game – the Seahawks have looked mediocre on defense and downright Gawdawful on offense (with little-to-nothing to write home about on special teams either).

Even though I obviously don’t care for the guy, I’m not going to kill Tarvar after yesterday’s game.  The offensive line is sucking my will to live right now (as I knew it would, because of all the youth on it coming into the season), and it’s not just the right side.  Even Robert Gallery wasn’t all that sharp yesterday.  The only guy I saw any fight out of was Max Unger who looks like the real fucking deal at center.  Aside from his play, Max Unger just SOUNDS like the name of a Pro Bowl center, doesn’t it?  Maybe not this year, but soon, and for a long time.  Mark my words.

Also, if Golden Tate could catch a fucking ball, maybe we’d be singing a different tune about Tarvar.  Hell, if there was any way Tarvar could’ve made chicken salad out of that chicken shit offensive line (by, you know, leading us on a scoring drive or two), I dare say I might even be praising the guy.  Of course, Golden Tate saw to it that we not only wouldn’t score, but we’d give the other team a free defensive TD thanks to his bobbling.

We can’t have Golden Tate sucking dick like this going forward.  He’s really the only receiver that’s able to generate separation thanks to his speed.  We drafted him to be an impact receiver, and he needs to get it together in his second season.  If he finds a way to put it all together – route-running, speed, hands, instincts – he could be one of the most dangerous receivers in all of football.  Let’s hope yesterday was just a minor bump in the road.

Just like I’m not going to bash Tarvar, I’m also not going heap a whole lotta praise upon Touchdown Jesus.  He clearly had better numbers, but he also played against Minnesota’s reserves.  Maybe, if all the starters in the National Football League somehow died of a mysterious illness, leaving every team to play only backups, then I’d say the Seahawks have a better-than-good chance to go pretty far.  But, that’s ridiculous.

I will say this:  I flat out just feel more comfortable with Charlie Whitehurst under center.  That says nothing of the man’s actual ability, it’s just a feeling.  Odds are, if Charlie started this game today instead of Tarvar, he would’ve been planted on his ass with the same amount of regularity.  Nevertheless, I’ve seen what appears to be great strides out of the guy since last year.  I like his instincts, I like his aggressiveness.

As for the rest of the team (specifically the defense), I liked what I saw out of Leroy Hill.  I honestly don’t remember a whole lot of standout performances out of the guy in his career as a Seahawk, but yesterday he was all over the place making plays.  On the flipside, Kelly Jennings was once again made to look like an idiot on a long pass play.  SO GLAD HE’S BACK ON THE TEAM!!!  Actually, I’m so glad they’re giving Brandon Browner every opportunity to make this football team.  It just goes to show that a guy from the CFL is light years better than Kelly Jennings.

Hell, an old lady in a walker is better than Kelly Jennings.  God, that’s it, I’m done.

Seattle Seahawks As Chicks I Would Probably Bang

Looking for breaking news or hard-hitting opinion?  This isn’t where you want to be.  It’s 4pm on a Friday as I start this and I’m just waiting for some of that I-5 traffic to die down.  With a couple hours to kill, I hereby present you a list of Seahawks (both past and present) if they were chicks I would theoretically bang (written obnoxiously in the second person; so really, it’s the chicks YOU would theoretically bang).  Essentially, this is an opinion piece, but you’re going to have to use your imagination a little bit.  It’s sure to be offensive to both women and the specific players mentioned.  I’m sure I don’t give a shit.

Charlie Whitehurst is that chick you meet at a bar when you’ve already downed about a dozen Captain & Cokes.  You saw her earlier in the evening and winced accordingly, but in a blackout state, your loins conspire against you.  At closing time, both of you forget your tabs, hail a taxi, sloppily make out in the back for the subsequent 15 minutes the cabbie is overcharging you for a 5-minute ride.  You wake up in her bed the next morning as she’s snoring her cowpie breath in your face; you collect as much of your clothing as you can find and get the fuck out of there before the beast awakens.  A month later, you find out you have herpes.

Tarvaris Jackson is the same girl as Charlie Whitehurst, only the next morning you’re roused by her boyfriend punching you in the gut.  He kicks your ass for the next ten minutes, you’re forced to do the walk of shame buck naked.  And a month later, you still find out you have herpes.

Jeff Reed is the super-hot girl you think is “the one”, except you’re the only person who can’t see that she’s fucking crazy.  All your friends try to talk you out of her, reminding you of that time she flipped out with a crowbar on your car because she thought you were cheating on her (when, in reality, you were having an innocent chat with a co-worker), but for whatever reason (hotsex) you just don’t understand (hotsex) that she’s just no good for you until it’s too late.  Ultimately, you find her cheating on you with your best friend and you vow, “Never again.  I’m just dating good, wholesome, normal girls from now on.”

T.J. Houshmandzadeh is the stripper you meet at the club when you’re in Vegas.  You’re drunk, you’re around your friends, and you’ve already blown $200 on lapdances.  So, you sweet talk her into “something more”.  You know what you want, she knows what you want, so she takes you into the back and you get the blowjob of a lifetime.  She’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more.  Then, when it’s all over, an 8-foot, 400 pound bouncer lumbers over with a tab for a shitload of money.  You put it all on your credit card in one sobering moment.  You tell yourself that you’re never going to overpay for sexual favors ever again.

Pete Carroll is like having sex with your boss.  Yeah, she’s old, but she keeps herself in decent-enough condition.  Mostly, you’re in it because you find power sexy.  And afterward, you brag to absolutely no one.

Kelly Jennings is that “friend with benefits” you keep around who you don’t really like, and who absolutely WON’T stop calling you five times a day.  You keep telling yourself, “That was the LAST time I’m calling her for a booty call,” but then there you are, a few weeks later, alone.  On your fifth glass of whiskey.  Pushing the “Send” button on your phone.

Russell Okung is a girl you’ve been dating for a few weeks, but for whatever reason is holding out for “the right time”.  So you just make out and cuddle and then she asks you to take her home.  Then, finally, you convince her to stay over.  You’re both hot and heavy on the couch, then, as you stagger over to the bedroom, pulling off articles of clothing as you go, she trips over her skirt and suffers a high ankle sprain.

Tim Ruskell is a fairly attractive girl you meet in a bar.  You take her home, have your way with her, and promise to call her the next day.  You don’t call her.  A few weeks go by and she shows up on your doorstep telling you she’s pregnant.  Not only is she pregnant with your child, but she’s also underage (having gotten into the bar with a fake ID).  She tells you she’ll call the cops on you if you don’t stay with her.  So, you’re stuck, you’re taking care of her and the kid.  Finally, after she turns 18, you feel you’re free to leave her; but you’re still paying child support on the kid for many years to come.

Deion Branch is a co-worker you start seeing on the side even though you’ve been married for a decade.  Things are going so well, you decide to divorce so you can openly have her as your girlfriend.  This is when you realize that dating your co-worker is a terrible idea.  Not only do you end up splitting with her in a few weeks, but you’re relegated to being a weekend dad for your two kids, letting them sleep on a pull-out sofa in your bachelor pad apartment.  Eventually, you find someone else.  She earns half of what your ex-wife makes for a living, she’s five years older than your ex-wife, and she’s got two kids of her own who don’t get along with your kids.

Matt Hasselbeck is your ex-wife.  You had a great run, but you decide you want to go in for the younger model.  Meanwhile, your ex loses 40 pounds, starts dressing sexier, and hooks up with a guy half her age.

Robert Gallery is a cougar you meet in a night club.  She’s forgotten more than you’ll ever know in the sack.  She’s weirdly strong for someone with no muscle definition.  And she scares the bejesus out of you.  Just do as she says and nobody gets hurt.

Jerramy Stevens is a girl you hook up with in college.  You can’t believe your good fortune that you bagged someone so hot, but then she turns around the next day and tells all your friends (and all the girls you know) that you have a small wiener and lasted less than two minutes.  After that, you avoid her and her friends like the plague while seriously contemplating ways you could shave her head while she sleeps.

What Are YOU Doing Here, Zach Miller?

There comes a time during the year where every Seahawks fan inevitably cries out, “What in the HELL are you doing???”  Actually, if I were to be somewhat more accurate, there are probably about a couple thousand such instances in any given year.  Rarely, though, is that question uttered with such perplexity as it’s being uttered by me right now.

I have absolutely NO idea what the Seahawks are doing.

If I were a more gullible fan, I’d say the Seahawks are loading up for one hell of a shot at the division crown and maybe even the Super Bowl.  Signing guys like Gallery, Mebane, Rice, and now Zach Miller, you gotta think:  here are four guys in the prime of their careers.  Four guys who have shown they can excel at their respective positions.  Four guys who could be building blocks of a really strong foundation.

But, I’m not gullible (or, at least, not as gullible as I used to be, nor as gullible as the average fan).  I see our quarterbacks, I see our VERY young offensive line, and I see our totally inept secondary and that all adds up to an inconsistent team that is 8-8 at BEST.  Sure, 8-8 runs away with the division last year, but this year I wonder.  This all isn’t to say that our offensive line couldn’t be great in 2-3 years; nor does it discount the fact that our young corners COULD be quality starters if we’re lucky, in those same 2-3 years.

When you put it that way, moves like these (of the Gallery, Mebane, Rice, & Miller variety) could be as savvy as they come.  In 2-3 years, all four of those guys SHOULD still be playing and producing.  If we can somehow find a quarterback capable to take us all the way in that time, we could be some VERY happy fans in Seattle by 2014.

But, just because that’s what I think, doesn’t mean that’s what the organization believes.  To them, these moves are meant for one thing:  winning now.  Their delusion is precious, but it’s leaving me befuddled.

Of course, if it were all about winning now, we’d have Matt Hasselbeck in the fold.  So, yeah, I’m stumped.

The Seahawks Are Getting The Job Done In Free Agency

Look, I’m not going to be all doom and gloom on the quarterback thing ALL the time.  Aside from that, there is a TON to like about what the Seahawks have done.

This team, going into and coming out of last year had just about as many holes as a team can have.  Offensive line, defensive line, defensive backfield, wide receiver, quarterback.  Say what you want about whomever, the Seahawks are showing that they’re up to the task of improving this team at all facets of the game (obviously, aside from cornerback, but there’s still time).

Quarterback – even though I may disagree with the route they’ve chosen, they’ve nevertheless addressed it.  Whether or not they’ve addressed it well is a matter to be determined on September 11th.  At least they didn’t neglect it completely.  Tarvaris Jackson might not be my cup of tea, but in all likelihood (in some capacity), he will be better than nothing.  Grade:  D-

Offensive Line – I love this more than anything they’ve done.  Four tremendous young talents who can grow and meld together over what are hopefully four long careers.  Sure, they’re probably going to struggle THIS year, but what would you expect?  In time, probably within 1-2 years, they’re going to gel and they’re going to be fantastic.  And yeah, while they’ll be on the bad side this year, they’re not going to be COMPLETE trainwrecks!  They’ll be like any group of young athletes: they’ll show flashes of brilliance and they’ll have moments where you say, “What the hell was THAT?”  Robert Gallery will help, hopefully, give us more moments of brilliance.  Grade:  A

Wide Receiver – The last time we had a blazing talent at this position was when Joey Galloway was catching bombs from Jon Kitna and taking punts back to the house.  Ever since, it’s been one fill-in guy after another.  We’ve been a team full of 2’s and 3’s since the end of the 90s.  So, I’m excited we have Sidney Rice.  If he’s truly back from his injury, he’ll be the first bonafide Number 1 starter we’ve had since the Dennis Erickson era.  Teams will have to shift their coverages towards him, leaving guys like Mike Williams and Ben Obomanu with more favorable matchups to exploit.  Now, if only they had a professional quarterback to throw them the balls.  Grade:  B+

Running Back – Pretty much, the Seahawks did nothing here.  Well, that’s not technically accurate, they DID re-sign Leon Washington; though, I’m still skeptical that he’s going to get the kinds of offensive touches he deserves.  Nevertheless, while we may not have an Adrian Peterson type at this position, we’ve got the best of all worlds.  Marshawn the Thunder and Forsett the Lightning.  Tack on the re-signing of fullback Michael Robinson and I’m quite pleased with this group.  Grade:  B

Defensive Line – Today, it’s official, Brandon Mebane is coming back.  Like I said yesterday, this is completely and totally awesome.  We’ve also signed a guy named Alan Branch away from the Cardinals to be our backup 5-technique defensive end behind Red Bryant, so there’s some MORE depth.  I have a feeling we’re not done here, as it would be nice to either see Raheem Brock come back or maybe find another low-cost defensive end to play the Leo position.  Of course, we’ve always got Aaron Curry, if we haven’t completely given up on him yet … Grade:  B

Linebacker – Today (or was it yesterday) also brings the news that Leroy Hill is coming back.  THAT is probably the most shocking turn of events I’ve heard in this abbreviated off-season of free agent activity.  My assumption is he’s coming in cheap and, if he’s lost it or causes trouble, he’ll be easily gotten rid of for little-to-no cost.  I’m not against this decision, but I am skeptical that he’ll return to any kind of form.  Of course, you have to wonder … is Lofa Tatupu on the chopping block?  David Hawthorne COULD slide over into the middle linebacker spot.  Is Aaron Curry on his way out?  Seems like a quick hook for a guy drafted so high; but then again, this regime didn’t pick him.  Could be some MAJOR shakeups afoot in the linebacking corps.  Grade:  C-

Secondary – So far, the Seahawks have done squat after the draft to bolster this group, but like I said earlier, there’s still time.  I’m tempted to give the secondary a passing grade on the Addition By Subtraction Rule thanks to ridding ourselves of Kelly Jennings, but he remains unsigned.  Until I know I’m in the clear, I can’t possibly have a definitive opinion on these guys.  In listening to John Schneider on the radio a little bit ago, he said he’s not concerned and made overtures that the group we have in camp now could be the group we go to the grave with.  I still think there are moves on the horizon, and I’m on record as saying that I think we should bring back Big Play Babs.  Grade:  F

I didn’t come into this post with an eye towards grading the positions.  To be clear, though, the grades aren’t on the positions themselves, but they’re the grades on what Pete & John have done in free agency to improve these positions.  I decided to not include Special Teams because I frankly don’t give a shit right now.  Olindo Mare got a shit-ton of money to go to Carolina because they’re idiots who over-pay for kickers.  They’re like that guy in every fantasy league who drafts a kicker in the 7th round because he wants to have the “best” kicker.  Or that guy in the bar who hits on the most reasonable-looking fat chick because he’s desperate to go home with someone.

This post just got a little misogynistic right out of nowhere, so with that I’m going to say my good nights.

The Seahawks Say GTFO To Some More Guys

On the plus side, the Seahawks have also said Get The Fuck In to some guys guy too.

GONE is Matt Leinart.  Of course, since he was never here to begin with, this makes no sense.  Still, he’s decided to stay in Houston, presumably because he’s decided it’s better to go full retard than to go to a team with your former head coach and no defined starter at his very position of employment.  What does that say about a guy’s heart?  I mean, assuming these rumors were true and the Seahawks were truly trying to sign this guy, where are your nuts at, guy?

Matt Schaub is the man in Houston.  He’s proven himself and they’ve proven they’re married to him by way of what it took to get him there in the first place.  The Seahawks, meanwhile, have two suck-asses at quarterback.  Regardless of the fact that we’ve invested draft picks and millions into Whitehurst, regardless of the fact that we hired Jackson’s offensive coordinator (i.e. regardless of the fact that it appears both have a leg up over a theoretical Matt Leinart), neither of those guys have established themselves as starting quarterbacks in this league.  Therefore, you’re looking at a strict 3-way competition with the best of the worst earning that starting job come September.

Leinart just chose an automatic 2nd string quarterback job over the potential for a 1st string job.  Somebody get that guy a tampon, stat.  For his vagina!  Because he a little girl!  Ho-ho!

GONE is Will Herring.  He’s signing with New Orleans.  I lamented this for about 10 seconds until I realized that backup linebackers are a dime a dozen and we drafted a couple more a few months ago.  Herring was good, worthy of being a starter SOMEWHERE, and he was aces as a special teams coverage man.  I hope the Saints let him start because I have a feeling he’ll dominate for many years to come.

GONE is Olindo Mare.  He goes to Carolina.  What is it with Carolina stealing all our fucking kickers?  I didn’t even know John Kasay had retired … and apparently he didn’t know that either.  That’s too bad, I guess.  Since I no longer have any delusions of competing for even a crappy NFC West, I’m not going to sweat this Olindo Mare move.  We should just sign the best undrafted free agent kicker out there and give him a shot for a year; what harm could it do?  Better than picking up some old fuck off the scrap heap.

GONE is Brandon Stokley.  Again, another move I’m not going to sweat.  It’s not like we’ll have Hasselbeck around; buying a possession receiver for the likes of Jackson or Whitehurst just seems like a waste of funds.  Unless the possession receiver has Go-Go Gadget arms to reach all the overthrown balls tossed in their general vicinity, I don’t see the point.

HERE is Robert Gallery!  This is pretty exciting.  The lone bright spot in this whole week of disappointment, we’ve got our O-Line set for at least the next 3 seasons.  What ISN’T there to like?  He’s experienced, he’s good, he’s familiar with Tom Cable’s system, he’s a veteran presence for these young guys on the line to grow up around, AND it’s only a 3-year deal.  Not that teams are necessarily bound by contract years, this is still a good thing all around.  I’ll probably have more good things to say about this as the season approaches, but it’s new and fresh now so I thought I’d mention it.

So, what’s next?

Part of me thinks it’s ominous that we don’t have Brandon Mebane signed yet, but I just need to calm down a bit.  He’s GOING to test free agency, that’s just something I’m gonna have to get used to.  Doesn’t mean he’s going to sign elsewhere, but it does mean his price will go up accordingly.  He’s one of the better, younger D-linemen out there on the market; he deserves to get his money now.  I just hope Schneider is a little flexible with his negotiating.  I have a feeling he’s got a firm offer on the table and it’s going to be dwarfed by the open market.  I guess we’ll see.

Also, still no word on a cornerback.  It’s still early, none of the big studs have found a home yet (in other words, the market won’t be set until Nnamdi Asomugha signs), and who knows?  The Seahawks could very well be comfortable going with Trufant, Thurmond, and the rookies.  At the very least, though, I wish they’d get Big Play Babs back in here (if, indeed, they’re not going to make a bigger splash in the cornerback market).

Man, can’t wait for Day 3.  At this rate, I’m going to be writing one of these recaps every day through the weekend!

To Contend Or Not To Contend

I’m torn.

The rabid, brain-dead fan in me sees an opportunity.  This division is still for the taking!  Sam Bradford’s by no means an All Pro in only his second season.  The 49ers are breaking in a rookie.  And the Cards will either be going with a young guy or Kevin Kolb; either way, they’re going to have some growing pains.  If we re-sign Hasselbeck, shore up our defense with some key free agents, and find a capable veteran offensive guard who HASN’T had a million surgeries on his knees, we could be division champs once again!

Of course, the rabid, brain-dead fan in me knows that’s a lot of ifs.  IF we fail in achieving any one of those ifs, then I would abort the whole fuckin’ thing, because it just might not be worth it.

I’m not COMPLETELY stupid.  I know this was a pretty mediocre team last year.  Hasselbeck alone won’t make the difference.  But, Hasselbeck, + Robert Gallery, + a starting corner, + another defensive lineman or two just might = Super Bowl Contender.  I mean, no one said you have to rebuild by hitting rock bottom first.  Not all rebuilding projects are the Seattle Mariners!

I said earlier that I’m torn, and it’s true.  Because while part of me wants to try to shoot the moon, the other part of me wouldn’t TOTALLY mind it if we just tanked the whole damn thing away and got Andrew Luck in next year’s draft.  THAT is enticing.  In this scenario, we let Hasselbeck walk, we sort of neglect the defense a little bit – going after mid-range guys on short-term deals, and maybe we take a shot at one of those aging reclamation projects on the offensive line.  And then pay $30 million to Olindo Mare to make sure we’re above the minimum salary requirement for 2011.

While Hasselbeck, as I said before, won’t make the difference all by himself; all of this actually hinges on whether or not he re-signs.  Because we didn’t go after any quarterbacks in this year’s draft, it hasn’t been determined yet if we’re going to go full rebuild or if we’re still going to try to take a shot at the playoffs.  Hasselbeck makes us a playoff contender; he might not guarantee our making the playoffs, but he still makes us a contender.

No Hasselbeck makes us a total and complete bottom-feeder.

I’m so confused, I don’t know what I want!

It’s Time To Start Thinking About Seahawks Football Again

If you’re like me, you’ve been avoiding all this stupid back-and-forth, will-they/won’t-they nonsense with the Lockout.  As such, if you’re like me, you’ve pretty much blocked all thought about the NFL and the Seahawks in particular.

This post is a little lot self-serving, but here are the issues we have to think about as Seahawks fans as the two sides come to a Collective Bargaining Agreement.

  • We’ve got a lot of Free Agents to think about re-signing.  An update to this link:  Leon Washington is back with a 4-year deal.
  • There’s a 50/50 chance we’ve seen Hasselbeck play his last game as a Seahawk.
  • There was a Draft; I’m a big fan of who we picked.
  • Here’s to hoping the Final Eight rule doesn’t exist once we have a new CBA.  The Seahawks have a lot of money to spend on guys like Nnamdi Asomugha and Robert Gallery.
  • Regardless of who’s under center, there probably shouldn’t be a lot of optimism for this team repeating as Division Champs; we’re rebuilding, these things take time.
  • Don’t call it Qwest anymore.

My goal is to not rehash everything I’ve written over the past offseason … let’s see how well it goes.