Seahawks Signed Sebastian Janikowski

With nothing to write about today, I found myself checking out the Seahawks brand hats on their store webpage.  They all kind of suck hard, particularly the new one that says “We Are 12” or whatever, with the fucked up looking flag.  It’s pretty absurd how terrible almost all of the Seahawks hats are; the logo just doesn’t look good on a hat for whatever reason!  It’s big and weird looking.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the logo itself; but it’s clearly made for a football helmet, and not for the average fan to wear on the front of his or her forehead (also, don’t get me started on that alternate logo where the Seahawk is looking right at you with both eyes).  The Mariners don’t often do anything well, but they stomp the Seahawks into the ground when it comes to hat selection.

Anyway, seeming to notice my extreme antipathy towards their head gear, the signing of a backup quarterback who’s never played a down in the NFL, as well as the recent non-story of working out or not working out Colin Kaepernick (for no other reason than to kick the hornet’s nest of online outrage, and thoroughly ruin today’s sports radio shows with nonstop talk of this utter nonsense), the Seahawks finally did something competent and signed Sebastian Janikowski to a 1-year deal.  I don’t have any more info than that.

I assume there’s little-to-nothing guaranteed.  I also assume he’ll be in a pre-season position battle with that Jason Myers guy.  Both guys, I would think, have strong legs, so it’s going to come down to accuracy.  My hunch is, if Janikowski is 100% healthy from his back injury that kept him out of all 2017 (and caused the Raiders to cut him, in lieu of paying him upwards of $4 million, as a 40 year old man), he’ll be the more accurate kicker.  My other hunch is that if the kicking battle is close at all, the team will defer to keeping the younger, cheaper, and presumably more contract-controlled Myers.

If I had to guess, I’d say it won’t be close, Janikowski will blow him out of the water, and we’ll have an interesting set of decisions to make about our kicking game again in 2019 and beyond.  For now, just to get the taste of Blair Fucking Walsh out of all of our mouths, I’d be okay with a rental year of an aging, dependable veteran.

I’m not asking for the moon and stars here; just make a high percentage of kicks from 40 yards and in, and an average percentage of kicks from 40-49 yards, with a few clutch 50+ yarders mixed in.  That shouldn’t be too much to motherfucking ask from a motherfucking professional motherfucking football placekicker, should it?

God I hate Blair Walsh so fucking much.