The Seahawks Should Be 5-0 For The First Time Ever

In my pre-season predictions, I don’t think I could’ve been more off-base than I was about how good I thought the Vikings would be. I have no idea how I could’ve been so wrong! Well, other than the whole “doing zero research” thing, that might’ve played a part in it. But, it just seemed like they’d finally built the perfect Mike Zimmer-type team. They’ve arranged the offense around one of the best running backs in the game, Dalvin Cook. They have a quarterback who’s more than willing to buy into that scheme, while still being competent enough to hit on some play-action deep passes. They have a top receiver in Adam Thielen to be a security blanket, they have good tight ends for red zone production, and I really thought Stefon Diggs going to the Bills would be addition-by-subtraction (since he was clearly disgruntled in his tenure there). And, as a Mike Zimmer-coached team, they’ve ALWAYS had a good defense (on top of trading for that elite pass rusher from the Jags for practically nothing). With the foundation of a 10-6 wild card team from a season ago – combined with the fool’s gold that was the 2019 Packers season (with their unsustainable injury luck and easy schedule) – I thought this was a perfect opportunity for the Vikings to re-take the NFC North and coast to the Super Bowl.

Instead, it looks like they might be in the running for a Top 10 draft pick next year.

You have to start with the defense, which is truly dreadful. They’ve given up the fourth-most yards per game (fourth-most in passing, and ninth-most in rushing), as well as the seventh-most points per game. Now, you may be saying, “Okay, but the Seahawks are pretty bad in those categories too, and they’re still winning games!” True, but the Vikings don’t have Russell Wilson.

It’s easy to overrate Kirk Cousins, I think. He’s still the only guy who has totally bet on himself and successfully earned a 100% fully-guaranteed multi-year contract. That’s impressive! In hindsight, though, it seems like money poorly spent. I won’t get into all the numbers, but they’re bad. He’s 26th in passer rating, behind guys like Nick Mullens and Mitch Trubisky (a.k.a. guys who have been benched mid-game for their ineffectiveness). To my knowledge, Kirk Cousins has yet to be benched this year, which probably means the Vikings don’t have any better options. That’s a bad sign.

The one bright spot Vikings fans seem to be hanging their hats on is the running game. Dalvin Cook is as advertised. Of course, that’s going to run right into the part of the Seahawks defense that’s actually functioning at a high level this year (further bolstered by the signing of Damon “Snacks” Harrison), so … *Conceited Reaction Meme*

It’s hard not to make this a carbon copy of last week’s pre-Miami post. I mean, I guess the Vikings are slightly better than the Dolphins, but is that cause to worry? I don’t think Cousins is better than Fitzpatrick, so that’s something. The weapons around him might be better, but I think the Vikings’ defense is considerably worse.

It feels like the Seahawks have stumbled upon a defensive scheme that can work against most teams: hang back, don’t give up any deep plays, and wait for opposing quarterbacks to make mistakes. This is likelier to come up the more mediocre the quarterbacks are (obviously, the elite ones will just pick us apart, but we have to deal with those issues as they arise).

In a vacuum, I’d say the Seahawks’ offense should have an easier time scoring this week than they did in Miami. The Vikings are that bad, particularly in the secondary; they should be shredded accordingly. My biggest cause for worry, honestly, is the weather! It’s supposed to rain on Sunday – potentially leading to thunderstorms – and we’ve seen how this team has performed in that type of weather in the past. Not well! In that vacuum, with perfect weather, I could see the Seahawks putting up 50 points, with the over/under of 56.5 easily being eclipsed! But, in a torrential downpour, I wouldn’t be shocked to see the under hit and lead to big winnings for the Vegas sportsbooks.

This game really shouldn’t be close, but I fear it might be due to weather alone. Nevertheless, we’re witnessing two teams going in drastically different directions. The Vikings just aren’t in our league! On top of which, we’re looking at a primetime, nationally-televised game, and you know how the Seahawks love to perform in front of a huge audience! So, it’s really hard for me to see us losing this one.

My official prediction is 27-20 Seahawks. But, I’ll be curious to see if the offense can continue to beat expectations. While we’ve seen plenty of occasions where the Seahawks have struggled to move the football in crazy weather situations, we’ve never seen the Seahawks in those crazy weather situatons while employing a Russ who cooks!

This Guy Cooks …

We’ve got this game, then a BYE week, then we’re not in primetime again until mid-to-late November. Russell Wilson is in the driver’s seat as far as the MVP race is concerned, but you know he’s going to want to make a lasting impression as we head into this national exposure dry spell. So, while I won’t say I’m banking on a huge offensive explosion, it wouldn’t shock me if it still happened, and the Seahawks ended up putting this game to bed relatively early.

We really lucked out with how this has shaken out, all things considered. With the Dolphins and now the Vikings, it’s been a pretty soft landing to our BYE week. These extra weeks for our injured guys to rest will hopefully prove pivotal in allowing them to return well-rested and able to finish the bulk of the season on the field.

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2020: Crisis Averted!

  • Pre-Season Week 1 HERE
  • Pre-Season Week 2 HERE
  • Fantasy Draft HERE

Yahoo! had me projected to lose heading into the week, and continued to have me projected to lose after the Thursday night game when CEH had his outstanding nearly 20-point debut. It was, in fact, looking pretty grim on into the afternoon games, when Crazy N8’s Prostates already had a 35-point game out of one of his quarterbacks with Dak Prescott still yet to play. Even though I had three players going on Monday Night, as we headed into that Cowboys/Rams game on Sunday Night, I was ready to face my defeat like a man and get to work on turning things around in Week 2.

Among my disappointments, I have to start with Odell Beckham Jr. I didn’t want to draft him in the first round, for obvious reasons, but I also didn’t want to draft him AT ALL, except he managed to fall to me in the second round and I felt I had no choice. The upside is too great with this guy, but the downside is clear: 3 receptions for 22 yards, for a total of 5.2 points. There are certain teams you JUST don’t want to fuck with, because they’re poorly coached and their overall rosters are mediocre-to-terrible. The Jets are annually one of these teams. The Washington Football Team usually finds its way onto this list. You can usually make cases for the Jaguars and Bengals as well. But, at the very top of my Fantasy Football Shit List, we have the Cleveland Browns (never a more apt team for someone of ODB’s proclivities to play for). All of their guys were off of my draft board. Even Nick Chubb – who is one of the most talented running backs in football – couldn’t be trusted because, as we saw on Sunday, he’s in a pretty strict time-share with Kareem Hunt (another high-level running back they sought to add for no apparent reason other than to distress fantasy football owners).

Anyway, the Browns gave ODB a shit-ton of money (no pun intended no, pun intended) after he came over from the Giants. And, let’s just say I don’t believe he has the heart of a champion. I think he got his millions of dollars and his GAF-level is at an all-time low. It doesn’t help that the franchise is poorly run, his quarterback is overrated, and their offensive scheme is total balls. But, the real tragedy is now I’m stuck with a guy who’s too good to bench, but too bad to help me win games. Everything about this is a disaster because his trade value is so low, all I could reasonably get in return is somebody’s backup defense or something. He gets one more week out of me before I bench him in favor of Darius Slayton of the Giants, who absolutely TORCHED the Steelers on Monday Night (getting me 28 useless points for my bench).

Also high on my disappointment list is Carson Wentz. Once again, his best weapons are all injured, and this week even his security blankets were out. Miles Sanders has a hamstring issue, and his Pro Bowl left tackle was also out. Against a Washington Football Team defensive line that’s apparently among the best in football (and gave Wentz fits all day). In this case, there’s really nothing I can do, because I have no better QB options on my roster, so I just have to hope for improved health luck (and thank my stars he doesn’t have to face Washington again in this fantasy football season).

Finally, I’m putting the Indianapolis defense in this list, because they only managed 8 points against what was supposed to be an inept Jacksonville Jaguars offense, allowing Minshew Mania to complete almost all of his passes. 4 sacks, that’s it. I can’t tell if this was just a bad week, or if the Colts just aren’t as good as I’d hoped, but needless to say I’ll be looking for defensive reinforcements this week.

My matchup against Crazy N8’s Prostates started to turn in my favor during that very Sunday Night Cowboys/Rams game, actually! Dak Prescott only threw for one touchdown, and it was to my running back, Ezekiel Elliott! With Elliott also scoring a rushing touchdown, he actually managed to out-score Dak by five points!

From there, heading into the two Monday Night games, Yahoo! had me projected to win by a considerable margin. But, of course, Crazy N8 still held a decent lead, so my guys would have to put up SOME points.

Daniel Jones (when he’s bad) started off the game in true Danny Dimes (when he’s good) fashion! He had an early bomb to Slayton and the Giants actually held an improbable lead over the Steelers for a spell. Then, with two mind-boggling interceptions, Dimes reverted to Jones and I was pretty distraught. Thankfully, once the Steelers had the game well in hand, Dimes returned with some garbage-time points (in the form of a second TD pass to Slayton). All in all, it was a 20-point effort that’s far from ideal, but is good enough as a baseline level of fantasy production as my second quarterback. Better days are ahead, I’m sure of it.

In the night cap, I had one of my late-round draft sleepers going in Noah Fant. He was terrific! His 19 fantasy points is not only great for a tight end, it actually out-paced Travis Kelce on Crazy N8’s team (who was one of his four keepers)! With Fant’s production alone, it didn’t matter that A.J. Brown only put up 8.9 points for me; I got to go to sleep early, knowing my victory was in the bag; 170.45 to 150.80.

My win and points total puts me in third place among the 1-0 teams heading into this week, where I go up against Colinoscopy Time (our reigning league champion) who scored the second-fewest points in the league in Week 1. At the time of this writing, Yahoo! has me projected as a slight underdog, but we’ll see where we’re at when my roster is set for the week. In the meantime, here’s where I’m leaning:

  • Wentz (QB) vs. LAR
  • Jones (QB) @ CHI
  • Beckham (WR) vs. CIN
  • Brown (WR) vs. JAX
  • Edwards-Helaire (RB) @ LAC
  • Elliott (RB) vs. ATL
  • Fant (TE) @ PIT
  • Jacobs (RB) vs. NO
  • Butker (K) @ LAC
  • Washington (DEF) @ ARI

So this officially brings us to Waiver Wire Corner! I put in one claim this week: the Washington defense, which as you can see I ended up getting. I dropped Mecole Hardman, who wasn’t long for my team, because it’s apparent the Chiefs are using him more as a #4 receiver than the #2 I’d hoped for. Then, when I woke up this morning, I saw a couple other guys sitting out in Free Agency that I could nab. First and foremost, I got quarterback Mitch Trubisky, dropping Sam Darnold. The Jets are a true disaster right now, plus their schedule looks TOUGH. The Bears, on the other hand, have a pretty light schedule – at least to start the season – so I’m hoping Trubisky can build up some confidence. He was a good fantasy quarterback a couple years ago (and I don’t think you could EVER say that about Darnold), so I feel better rolling the dice with the somewhat-proven commodity. Finally, running back Malcolm Brown of the Rams went totally unclaimed! Given how great he looked – getting the lion’s share of the carries, scoring two touchdowns against the Cowboys – I was SURE someone would’ve put in a claim for him. I mean, I’m stacked with running backs, but I can’t just leave him out there! Plus, this way I have both Brown and his backup, rookie Cam Akers (who didn’t have an inspiring debut, even though he technically got the “start”; he’s more of a guy you stash on your bench for better days later in the season). To make room for Brown, I made the tough decision to cut DeVante Parker, who reaggravated his hamstring injury during the game last week, which is VERY discouraging, because he was so good last year. I would LOVE for my wide receiver spots to be as settled as my running backs are, because I need all the help I can get if my quarterbacks are going to be so up-and-down. I might have to trade from my position of strength to get a wide receiver that I’m happy with.

Although, with Deebo Samuel officially hitting the IR – and therefore not available to me for the first three weeks of the season (at least) – maybe he’s someone I can look forward to providing me a little help. That’d be nice.

I don’t have any use for my bench this week, though it’s tough to want to sit Slayton against the Bears, whose defense I don’t think is very good. As I said before, if ODB can’t rack up points against a bad Bengals team on Thursday Night, then next week I’ll be more than happy to make that change.

Colinoscopy Time has the following lineup:

  • Deshaun Watson (QB) vs. BAL
  • Ben Roethlisberger (QB) vs. DEN
  • D.K. Metcalf (WR) vs. NE
  • Stefon Diggs (WR) @ MIA
  • Derrick Henry (RB) vs. JAX
  • Tarik Cohen (RB) vs. NYG
  • George Kittle (TE) @ NYJ
  • Michael Gallup (WR) vs. ATL
  • Nick Folk (K) @ SEA
  • Tennessee (DEF) vs. JAX

His quarterbacks have some very difficult matchups, which makes me happy, because those guys can be monsters. Metcalf might very well struggle against the Patriots’ secondary, but he’s a wild card, so you never know. Diggs should do well against Miami, as should Henry against the Jags. I don’t like Cohen much at all, but you never know when they’ll check down to him 15 times a game. Kittle is a bear, but he’s also a little banged up and may or may not play a whole lot this week. Gallup sounds like he’s a boom-or-bust kind of guy, who’s playing behind their new rookie receiver. Colinoscopy Time should clean up with the Titans against the Jags (but, then again, I thought the exact same thing with the Colts last week, and look at where that got me).

I actually like my chances in this one, which is usually a bad sign. We’ll see, though! Maybe my mojo in 2020 is starting to turn in my favor!

The Seahawks Signed B.J. Finney & Other Stuff

2 years, $8 million. We’re talking about a guy who was never really a starter – though he started a few games here and there – but how good can he be? He was a 4-year backup for the Steelers, which right off the bat, they usually strike me as a good offensive line team. So, you know, that beats picking up some scrub from the Cardinals or Seahawks or something.

It looks like this guy is either going to be a left guard or center, though I suppose he could flop over to right guard in a pinch (but I don’t know if I see Fluker going anywhere). It just so happens with Iupati a free agent, and Britt a likely cap casualty, the Seahawks have a very real need for both of those positions. Also, with the dearth of talent along our defensive line demanding the most of our salary attention, the Seahawks have a very real need for CHEAP alternatives at left guard and center. 2 years, $8 million is pretty cheap for a starting offensive lineman (on top of whatever Joey Hunt gets for his original-round tender, assuming no other team snaps him up).

Now, whether Finney is actually good enough to start at offensive line remains to be seen. He’s listed at 6’4, 318, so presumably he isn’t going to be pushed around. I think ideally you’d love to play him at center over guard, but that’s mostly due to the Vietnam-style flashbacks we all experience whenever we imagine Joey Hunt being shoved back into Russell Wilson’s face like he’s wearing a pair of roller skates. But, then that means we’re paying $2+ million for Hunt to be a backup, which doesn’t seem likely. That would also necessitate the Seahawks picking up yet another guy to play left guard (because there’s no way Hunt is the ideal body type for that spot), which will only cost us more money.

So, for now, it looks like Duane Brown, B.J. Finney, Joey Hunt, D.J. Fluker, TBD, from left to right.

The plus side, of course, is that if Finney proves himself, then the Seahawks just signed a STEAL to be their starting left guard for the next two years. For what it’s worth, from the potential value alone I like this deal more than I like the one for Jarran Reed on the other side of the ball (though Reed’s production will likely prove to be more critical if this team is going to return to the playoffs in 2020). Finney doesn’t strike me as a guy with any significant injury issues, so that’s a step up from an old fart like Iupati (and Fluker, for that matter, and every other interior lineman on this roster to boot). If he ends up being legitimately great, then who knows? Maybe we’ve landed on our Left Guard Of The Future!

***

In other news, I guess Quinton Jefferson signed with the Bills. He’s a fine rotational piece, but as one of the premiere linemen for the Seahawks last year, he wasn’t good enough. So, spending any real resources whatsoever would’ve been money poorly spent. I wish him well on a Bills defense that looks like it’ll be even more stacked than it was last year (as a legitimate top 10 or top 5 unit in the league).

Also going to the Bills: Stefon Diggs (thank Christ!). If he was disgruntled in Minnesota with a dumpy, inaccurate, mediocre guy throwing to him, just wait until he gets a load of Josh Allen! There’s no way the Vikings didn’t do this on purpose! I wouldn’t be shocked if they turned down a significantly-better deal elsewhere just to ship Diggs off to Siberia to play for this generation’s Rick Mirer!

Finally, because I guess it has to be talked about by everyone: Tom Brady is going to Tampa. I want it on the record that I called this last year, when people were starting to talk about where he might go if he ever left New England. Of course, I never believed in a million years that he’d actually LEAVE New England, but that’s neither here nor there. He struck me as such a Bruce Arians-type of quarterback (old, white, used-to-be-successful-but-is-now-sorta-washed-up) that after a year with Jameis throwing 30+ interceptions, he’d back the Brinks truck up in front of Brady’s house! And with that offense, I wouldn’t be shocked to see Brady’s numbers skyrocket (he’s making me seriously re-think my fantasy football keepers for next year, I’ll tell you that much).

That all being said, I don’t necessarily believe the Bucs are automatically a playoff team. We’ll see if their defense shows up. We’ll also see if their offensive line holds up (because if Brady gets hurt, it could get ugly in a hurry). I would also caution tossing any dirt on the grave of the Patriots (though I find the idea of Cam Newton playing there to be endlessly entertaining).

Will Stefon Diggs Be In The Seahawks’ Future?

I’m usually loathe to even READ blog posts talking about possible free agent or trade targets for my favorite teams, because they seem like the definition of a waste of time, so you can imagine my disdain when it comes to writing something on my very own blog. But, God dammit if it isn’t a big ol’ dead season for Seattle sports, and I’ve got this nasty hunch that the Seahawks will be a Two-Diggs team in the near future.

Have the Seahawks learned nothing when it comes to acquiring ex-Vikings wide receivers? Sure, Nate Burleson was fine, but he was the obvious short end of the spite stick when it came to losing Steve Hutchinson; but Percy Harvin was a God damn disaster, and this possible move sure as hell feels a lot like that one.

Three draft picks (including a 1st and a 3rd) along with a boatload of money (ultimately costing us the opportunity to extend Golden Tate; whether he would’ve wanted to stay here is another matter entirely, though) for a guy who ran a kickoff back for a touchdown in a Super Bowl we won by 35 points. Not exactly tremendous bang for the ol’ buck.

The cool thing about trading for a receiver who already got his big-money extension is that (in this case) after the 2020 season, you can get out from under the rest of his deal with little-to-no dead money. The Vikings take the accelerated salary cap hit as soon as they move him. That’s a good and bad thing, because obviously when you’re talking about a player like Diggs – who’s arguably a Top 10 or 15 talent at the position – the draft pick compensation in return is likely to be as substantial as what we gave up for Harvin.

I mean, unless Diggs can be a big, loud problem for the Vikings, who might be enticed to make a desperation move in the name of locker room chemistry. But, then again, is that the type of personality we’d want to bring into our environment?

And, that’s ultimately the deal with the devil you make. Diggs has repeatedly complained – both in the media and to the coaches & players on the Vikings – about not getting the ball enough. So, we’re talking about bringing that guy onto the team that throws it among the fewest times in the league? On a team that already has Tyler Lockett and D.K. Metcalf? With a quarterback who likes to spread the ball around with the best of ’em?

Furthermore, we’re talking about a team with holes a-plenty on defense. We’re likely to make a hard push to keep Clowney, and on top of that we’ll need these resources to bolster our defensive line in other ways. From 2020-2023, Diggs is earning between $10.9 million and $11.4 million per year, plus roster/workout bonuses, plus possible incentives. That’s a significant chunk of change for a team already paying beaucoup bucks to the likes of Wilson, Wagner, and Brown. Also, not for nothing, but I was kinda hoping the Seahawks – if they’re going to trade away draft capital for superstar veterans – they’d use those resources for a prominent pass rusher.

But, hey, I get it. Russell Wilson has his heart set on a productive third receiver. Anyone who saw Malik Turner drop that perfect pass in the Green Bay game has all the argument you ever needed to bring in someone like Diggs. Can you imagine this offense with that trio of receivers, plus Chris Carson at running back?

Again, though, what’s the point if he’s going to average 4-6 catches a game? Couldn’t we put that money to better use?

I’m all for bringing in more talented targets on offense, but I’d rather not break the bank – both in salary cap and draft picks – just to take some disgruntled crybaby off of another team’s hands. We’ve got bigger fish to fry.

And, by writing this post and putting it out into the world, I hope I’ve sufficiently jinxed any legitimate talk of this coming to fruition.

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2019: Consolation Bracket Championship Game

Well, through all my Vegas losses, I also lost in the playoffs in the two other leagues I’m involved in; it was almost the perfect storm of shittiness. BUT, I did somehow manage to prevail in the first round of my Consolation Bracket Playoffs in this league. Remember: the winner of the Consolation Bracket gets the #1 pick in next year’s draft, so there are considerable stakes at hand.

I whupped up on Korky Butchek 199.40 to 164.04; if I’d made it to the regular playoffs, I would’ve outscored everyone involved this week. But, alas.

This was the type of performance I was hoping for from my team all year. Wentz and Zeke and the Bills defense and Scary Terry and Waller and Brady and Kupp all had great to solid games.

With my victory last week, I’m guaranteed to draft in the top 2. Last time I was in this position, I lost to the same guy I’m set to play this week: TheGangUnderperforms. True to the name of his team, he had enough points to make it into the regular playoffs, but one blunder in the final week of the regular season – leaving Julio Jones in his lineup on Thanksgiving, when he was inactive – cost him an opportunity. And, in doing so, probably cost me a shot at the #1 seed next year. That having been said, the last time he picked 1 and I picked 2, he took Marcus Mariota and I ended up with Dak Prescott, so if something like that happens again, I think I’d be okay with it.

***

I made 3 waiver plays this week. #1 was Dwayne Haskins of all people. I’ve been killing him on here, but he finally looks like he’s getting the hang of things. He put up 25 points last week against the Eagles and gets a juicy matchup against the Giants this week. #2 was Breshad Perriman, who I should’ve picked up LAST week instead of his understudy, Justin Watson, who did nothing against the Lions after breaking out the week prior. Watson, FYI, is the guy I’m dropping in all three of these moves. The #3 waiver pick is Will Grier. I don’t love the thought of starting a rookie making his first career start on the road against the Colts, but I might have no choice.

***

See, I’ve got Tom Brady’s rotting corpse at home against the awesome Bills defense. I don’t like playing a quarterback against my own defense as a principle, and I especially don’t like playing Brady against my own defense!

My alternate would be the two quarterbacks involved in the Giants at Washington game. I’d probably prefer Danny Dimes in this case, but how healthy is he really? The Giants have the inferior defense of the two, but Haskins (who I got in my waiver claim) is also the worse quarterback of the two, so at the moment I’m leaning toward Dimes, but my mind could change fifty times between now and this weekend.

To pair with Dimes, I’m leaning towards Darius Slayton and hoping the pair blows up the way they tend to do sometimes. Also, I guess I’m Ride Or Die with Cooper Kupp, but I’m far from thrilled with him going up against an angry 49ers defense that’s getting healthier by the minute. My alternative here would be Scary Terry, but what are the odds BOTH of my receivers in this Giants/Redskins game go off? I gotta pick a side, and I’m sticking with the guy who pairs with the quarterback I start.

I guess I’m also Ride Or Die with Le’Veon Bell? God, now I’m starting to understand why I sucked so hard this year. Many things would need to change for him to be even a glimmer of a possibility as one of my keepers next year. He gets paired with Zeke, who’s having a fairly strong finish to the season. With Jacobs out, I’m rolling with the return of T.Y. Hilton in my FLEX. He made it through last week unscathed, he’s got a peach of a matchup, and the Colts are absolutely DESPERATE for a win. If they can’t find a way to get Hilton a few TDs, then I just don’t know anymore.

Waller, Tucker, and the Bills round out my team.

***

TheGangUnderperforms is really too good for the Consolation Bracket, and I’m kind of irritated that I have to face him (especially after he just knocked my team out of another league’s playoffs last week). He has Lamar Jackson in both leagues; I don’t know how anyone with Lamar Jackson doesn’t make the playoffs, but this feels like another conspiracy against me somehow.

On top of Lamar, he’s got Baker and Darnold, so not a great second option (just like me). Unlike myself, Lamar is good enough by himself to score the points of two quarterbacks (whereas Wentz is lucky when he doesn’t shit the bed, considering his utter lack of receiver options).

Then, he’s looking at a fully healthy Julio Jones and Stefon Diggs at receiver; Fournette and Ekeler at running back; and Tyler “Big Balls” Higbee at tight end. For his flex, he’s got Kenyan Drake, who just got 4 TDs last week. He’s also got Dede Westbrook and Mark Andrews on his bench. For good measure, he’s got the Saints’ kicker and Indy’s defense going up against that rookie Grier and those terrible Panthers.

#2 draft pick next year, here I come!

The Seahawks Are Leading The NFC West For Now

The Seahawks can’t seem to win a normal, run-of-the-mill blowout game. I guess that’s okay as long as we keep winning, but …

Before the game, I called a score of 34-13, and for a brief moment there early in the fourth quarter, it was 34-17 and I thought I was a genius. Then, the Vikings almost immediately scored a touchdown to bring it to 34-24 and the comeback was officially on.

Things got tight in that fourth quarter and it started to look like one of those stupid games we used to lose in 2015 or 2016, where we’d get a seemingly-insurmountable lead and cough it up in some mindboggling way. After that breakdown in coverage gave the Vikings a 58-yard touchdown, our fumbling problem returned. When you’re talking about Seahawks and fumbles, you’re usually talking about Chris Carson, but he was great in this one. The second person you think of when you think about fumbles with this team, it’s not even that long of a pause: D.K. Metcalf. This game is actually a decent microcosm of his season: he’s had a lot of positives this year (6 catches for 75 yards, to lead the game), but just enough negatives (the lost fumble on a crucial 3rd down conversion that would’ve extended the drive and killed some more clock) to remind you that he’s a rookie. He’s a work in progress, it’s fine.

The Vikings proceeded to drive it 72 yards – aided considerably by a 3rd down pass interference penalty on Tre Flowers that was exclusively due to Kirk Cousins throwing a terrible, underthrown ball – but missed the extra point to make it 34-30. The Seahawks were once again limited in what time they could take off the clock, and the game hinged on the Vikings’ next drive.

They quickly got it out of the shadow of their own red zone, but the drive stalled at that point, ultimately turning it over on downs.

In spite of the score, the Seahawks’ defense was pretty solid. Sack numbers never tell the whole story, as it appeared the Seahawks were able to get consistent pressure on Cousins from a variety of players. Rasheem Green stood out in a big way, really proving his worth these last few games. He ended up forcing a fumble and generally being a presence in the backfield. Ziggy Ansah – before suffering a stinger that took him out – ended the game with 3 QB hits and a batted pass. Clowney returned from his injury to hit Cousins and get a tackle for loss. Jarran Reed also returned from injury and hit Cousins a couple times. All in all, 7 QB hits were recorded for the Seahawks.

The secondary – aside from a couple lapses – has started to come together. McDougald and Diggs continue to prove they’re the best safeties on this roster. Tre Flowers had a BEAUTIFUL interception on a pass intended for Stefon Diggs. And we saw a lot of tight coverage from the linebackers outside of that first Vikings TD drive.

The first half was a little frustrating, but the Seahawks did what they always do: they kept it close. Then, for a change of pace, we came out on fire after halftime, scoring 17 in the third quarter and going on a 24-0 run overall in the second half.

The Vikings’ defense was absolutely baffling to me. I kept looking at what they were doing pre-snap and it didn’t make any sense. They came into the game – I want to say – top 5 in rush defense, but they consistently loaded the box with anywhere from 5-7 guys, like they were daring us to ram it down their throats. Or, at least believing that just their front four would frustrate us enough into throwing more. Hell, on that huge 25-yard run by Carson early in the third quarter, they had a 7-man box against Seattle’s 7-man front; do the math! That’s a hat on a hat with a free Carson chugging towards the endzone!

It was like this all night! I usually finding myself calling out for more passing when I see our offense, but this was one of those rare games where I was begging Wilson to check to more run plays! Carson led the way with 102 yards on 23 carries, but Penny wasn’t far behind with 74 yards on 15 carries. The team totalled 218 yards on the ground on a 5.1 yard average with 2 TDs.

A good chunk of that came on the fake punt in the fourth quarter by Travis Homer (on that same drive that ended in a Metcalf fumble). With the way we were running all night, I kept expecting one of those patented Seahawks clock-churning drives to gobble up all the wind from their sails. That fake punt was a thing of beauty to keep the dream alive for a wee bit longer. From one conservative head coach to another, there was no way Mike Zimmer was expecting that from Pete Carroll in that situation, not with our 10-point lead and Carroll’s devotion to his defense! Yet, there it was, and it came at the best time possible. It’s just too bad we couldn’t finish the job right there.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the game that would vault Wilson back into the MVP conversation. He’s still a very large distance behind Lamar Jackson, and 240 yards and 2 TDs (against 1 fluke INT following two batted passes) isn’t going to cut the mustard. If anything, he’s continuing to let other contenders reach his level, which can’t be good. He’s sitting at a 26:4 TD:INT ratio and a 111.1 passer rating; Jackson is at 25:5 with a 109.6 (plus another 7 TDs on the ground and almost 1,000 rushing yards, which is insane). Luckily, Wilson just cares about winning (not that Jackson doesn’t), and that’s all the Seahawks have been doing of late.

It feels great to finally get over that 49ers hump. With four weeks left in the season, let’s see how long that lasts!

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2019: Winning A Squeaker

Very little about my team pleased me this week. The underwhelming performance kicked off with a thud on Thursday Night, when Scary Terry was well on his way to a solid game. He had 7.90 points at halftime, when it was discovered that Case Keenum had a concussion and was out for the rest of the game. Washington’s backup is a total bust, so 7.90 points was all Scary Terry could muster, as balls flew WELL out of his catch radius.

Sunday morning kicked off promising enough, though. Cooper Kupp had 35 points relatively quickly in his game. Gardner Minshew threw for 3 TDs, and even Carson Wentz did all right for himself against my Buffalo defense (who got me SOME points, which is all I was really asking for). But, of course, the INSTANT I bench Daniel Jones, he reverts back to Danny Dimes! He’s gotten me 80 points for my bench in his best two games of the year; meanwhile whenever I start him he’s that fucking Michigan J. Frog sitting there like a wart on my ass!

“Mediocre” is the best word to describe the rest of my team. The best of the rest was Tyreek Hill’s 14.10 points in the Sunday Night game.

Meanwhile, TheGangUnderperforms had quarterback troubles as expected. Big games from Julio Jones, Leonard Fournette, and Stefon Diggs kept him in it. Heading into Monday Night, I had a tenuous 25.35-point lead and no one left to play. He had Pittsburgh’s defense, who went into the halftime just doing okay, but apparently really turned it on after I went to bed. In the end, I won 147.55 to 145.20. Here’s to better times.

***

The win pulls me up to 4-4 on the season, in fourth place (I have tiebreakers over all the other 4-4 teams; there are four of us in total at 4-4) by way of having more total points. I’m fourth in total points, but there are a bunch of us who are really close; I still have the second-most points against. If I lose this week, at least one team will leapfrog me; more on that later.

***

We’re back to basics this week. Only one prominent player on BYE and that’s Kupp. I’m sticking with Wentz & Minshew (for as long as he’s still starting; damn you Nick Foles, don’t take this away from me!), because I don’t like Dimes against that Dallas defense. I’ve got Hill and Hilton as my receivers, both in okay matchups. Gotta love Le’Veon Bell for the first time this year, going up against whatever Miami has going on with their defense. Zeke is back and well rested, so he should pour it on against the Giants. I’m Ride Or Die with Waller and Jacobs, so let’s hope the Raiders do well against the Lions.

I don’t get to keep A.J. Green in my IR spot anymore, since he’s projected to come back after this week’s BYE, so that’s a little good news/bad news. I had to drop Gerald Everett to make room, but I can’t really justify keeping a second tight end with so many good players out there. I also dropped Robbie Gould, who effectively won me last week’s game with his 9 points, but also cost me David Montgomery (I had to drop someone), who I KNEW it was only a matter of time before he started kicking ass. That one really hurts, because I’d tried my damnedest to keep him, but the roster crunch is real.

To fill the empty spot, I picked up Jaylen Samuels, who I somehow got even with my relatively low waiver priority. It doesn’t look like James Conner is going to be out long (if at all), but I don’t mind stashing him on my bench for at least this week. I also picked back up Derrius Guice to put in my IR spot. They have him on track to suit up in Week 11, so he’s definitely someone to hang onto for the stretch run.

***

My opponent this week is Koncussion Protocol, who has a 3-5 record, but has about 6 more points scored on the season; so indeed, if he beats me, he’ll pass over me in the standings.

Thankfully, he has a number of guys out this week. Brees, Austin Hooper, and the Rams’ defense are all on BYE, plus Cam Newton is still recovering from injury. That leaves him with the very good Deshaun Watson, and the very okay Kyle Allen. His receivers are D.J. Chark and Allen Robinson; his running backs are Aaron Jones, Marlon Mack, and Derrick Henry. He’s got Kittle at tight end and Green Bay’s defense going up against the woeful Chargers. I have three of his guys in another league I’m in, so I’m sure the fantasy football gods will find a way for me to lose both games somehow.

His kicker is also the Rams’ kicker, and this is really interesting. He dropped Legatron to pick up Mason Crosby. I have to believe someone out there is willing to stash a second kicker on his bench for a week in order to upgrade to one of the best in the game. Since I’ve already got Tucker, I don’t see the point, but bully for whoever out there needs the boost.

Yahoo has me favored pretty comfortably, but I see a lot of touchdown-hungry players on his team, so nothing is taken for granted by the Space Pirates!

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2019: Back In The Saddle

Well, it wasn’t the prettiest, but a win is a win. I finally got some good luck in the “points against” department, when Mandelbaum’s Gym had a tough time scoring. Of course, he left Bridgewater on his bench (almost a 20-point swing, but no one was benching Kyler Murray against the Giants) as well as Latavius Murray (nearly a 30-point swing over Kerryon Johnson) and the Saints defense (a 10-point swing over the Bears) which all three combined would’ve been enough to give him the week (and would’ve been enough to cause me to quit fantasy football forever). 168.90 – 118.25. Complain enough on a blog nobody reads and the fantasy gods will finally smile upon me eventually!

I actually made all the right calls, except for the QB spot. Tyreek Hill somehow got almost his projected points, in spite of Mahomes going down with a freak injury. T.Y. Hilton had a good game, as expected. Darren Waller rewarded me for all my weeks of confidence in him with a 2-TD day (should’ve been 3 if not for a holding penalty); Zeke exploded for a nice Sunday Night game. And I even went ahead and benched Le’Veon Bell against the Pats (8.60 points scored) in favor of Josh Jacobs, who had a solid 16.40 points against the Packers.

But, as has been the case all year, I can’t get it right with my QB’s.

Daniel Jones is benched from here on out. I can’t believe I could’ve gotten Stafford and Godwin for him in trade after his 41-point week; it’s probably the dumbest decision anyone has ever made in fantasy football history. He had a terrific matchup in a high-scoring game against the Cards and couldn’t get out of his own way. Meanwhile, Minshew – once again – had a terrific day for my bench. What can I say? I’m an idiot.

***

The win this week brought my record up to 3-4, which officially puts me in the 6th seed for the playoffs, if the season ended today. There’s remarkable parity in my league right now, aside from the top guy who’s 7-0; the next seven teams are either 4-3 or 3-4, and we’re all within 155.02 points of one another. I have the third most points scored, and the second most points against.

***

It’s a real shame that Dimes isn’t worth a damn, because I’d love for nothing more than to be able to bench Carson Wentz this week, as he travels to Buffalo to go up against my defense. There’s just no good that can come from your quarterback going up against your defense. My hope is for Wentz to get on track, while the Bills still get some sacks or something; maybe a fumble return for a TD by one of the skill guys losing the ball. Long odds, but I can’t put Dimes in anymore, particularly on the road against the Lions. Worst case scenario is that Wentz throws a bunch of picks, but then the Eagles score a bunch of garbage points with their running backs. I hate this matchup.

With Zeke on a BYE, I’m rolling with Kupp, McLaurin, Jacobs, and Bell as my Big 4. Waller is still in there as my TE of choice, but the Texans apparently shut down tight ends with regularity, so I’m probably in for a terrible week.

My FLEX spot is the real disaster this week, as Hilton has a bad matchup against the Broncos, and Tyreek Hill has Matt Moore throwing to him. At this point, I’m leaning towards Hill over Gerald Everett; maybe he’ll take a WR screen to the house or something.

The guy I didn’t mention was David Montgomery, who I’ll once again have to drop (just as soon as the stupid Bengals finally rule A.J. Green out, so I can keep him in my IR spot), as I need a kicker this week, and there’s no way I’m letting Justin Tucker go. There aren’t a lot of great options on the free agency pile. I woke up super early on Wednesday morning to try to get Detroit’s kicker, but this whole IR spot situation is a real fiasco; I ended up losing out on him to the guy who has Dallas’ kicker, making my pickin’s even slimmer. I might have to go up until gametime on Sunday before filling out my roster in full.

As I noted earlier, I’ve got Buffalo as my defense. I could see them really dominating the Eagles and doing really well for me; I could also see them give up 30 points and really stinking up the joint. So, fingers crossed everything works out in my favor!

***

My opponent this week is TheGangUnderperforms, who in spite of his name really blew out his opponent last week! I lucked out with Lamar Jackson being on BYE; he’s forced to put Baker Mayfield in there up against the Pats’ defense. He also has Darnold going up against the Jags, so he could have a lot of QB problems much like yours truly!

Julio Jones should have a field day against the Seahawks, regardless of who’s throwing to him. I’d also wager highly on Stefon Diggs busting out against the Redskins (particularly if Thielen is out). Fournette has been an absolute workhorse for the Jags, and against the Jets should have no problem putting up big points. Ekeler has been a monster in the passing game, and it wouldn’t shock me to see him come up big in a difficult matchup with the Bears. He currently has Jimmy Graham as his tight end, who isn’t my favorite, but has a favorable matchup against the Chiefs’ defense. And his flex is currently Calvin Ridley, who isn’t good (now that I say that, watch him dominate).

He’s got the Saints’ kicker, who should ball out against Arizona; and the Steelers’ defense against Miami, so look for all the sacks and all the pick-sixes you can imagine.

I really don’t have a good read on what’s gonna happen this week. He’s got some really scary guys who could have enormous games, but he’s also got some possible duds in there (as do I, on both counts). This is a game I probably SHOULD win (I’ll be a slight favorite as soon as I pick up a kicker), but trying to predict fantasy football is about the dumbest thing you can do.

Not Winners & Losers Of The Seahawks’ Game Against The Vikings

Looks like we DIDN’T need to take the Vikings seriously!

What an odd game.  It went sort of the way I thought it might, then again totally against expectations!  True:  the Seahawks did struggle to move the ball in general; but actually we ran the ball better than I ever could’ve imagined, 42 times for 214 yards and a 5.1 yard average.  The passing game for both teams was non-existent, which amounted to the Seahawks clinging to a 3-0 lead through three quarters before putting them away – following a late scoring spree – by a final of 21-7.

What I’m Geeked Out About After Thirteen Games

This was the most impressive defensive effort of the season by these Seahawks.  Sure, they were pretty overwhelming against the Raiders in London, and they were all over the place against the Cowboys early in the season, but this was complete and total domination, against a highly-rated offense.  I mean, it doesn’t sound like a lot, but the Seahawks held Diggs & Thielen to a combined 9 catches for 146 yards.  When you figure how much of the Vikings’ offense revolves around those two guys, that’s pretty amazing.  Thielen in particular was held in check, as I don’t think he even had a target his way until the second half!

The Seahawks only ended up with a couple sacks, but were in Cousins’ face all night.  He rarely had a clean pocket, and was frequently running for his life.  Of course, with the coverage being so tight down field, this harmonious convergence was something we’ve been waiting for all year with this team.  Nice to see everyone stepping up when it matters most!

Other Things That Caught My Eye (In A Good Way)

Hey, where do you think YOU’RE going?!  I’m not done talking about the defense!

How about that night by Frank Clark?  He was a BEAST!  4 Tackles (1 for loss), a sack, and a couple hits on the QB.  How about Jacob Martin with his second career sack!  How about his sack turning into a fumble that Justin Coleman picked up and took back to the house?!

Also, how about those cornerbacks?  Griffin and Flowers combined for 15 tackles and 3 passes defended; they tightened up their games in a big way!

HOW ABOUT BOBBY WAGNER JUMPING OVER THE LINE AND BLOCKING A FIELD GOAL?!?!?!

Was it legal?  FUCK YOU AND YOUR PRECIOUS RULES!  The guy just did something fucking amazing, so how about we appreciate a physical act that the vast majority of humanity would be too afraid to even TRY, let alone have the ability to achieve it!

Also, how about a quick shout-out to Akeem King for a nasty blitz and an even nastier hit on the quarterback to force an incompletion?!

All in all, the defense was the star of the show, so what’s the point in talking about anything else?

Let’s Talk About Chris Carson

He’s been dealing with nagging injuries all year – he dislocated a fucking FINGER in last week’s game – and yet there he was, dragging around those Vikings defenders for extra yards and extra first downs.  90 yards on 22 carries and a TD doesn’t sound like a whole lot, but that was a MAN’S performance last night!  I still contend that Vikings run defense is stout, and Carson – with a little help from the O-Line, of course – made them look ordinary.  In the days leading up to the game, they all talked a good game – particularly Sheldon Richardson and Tom Johnson, ex-Seahawks – but in the end those guys were non-factors.

Yes, there’s committment to the run and all that, but this thing is extra special when Carson is back there running over fools.  On the year, he’s carried it 179 times for 794 yards (4.4 per touch) and 5 TDs.  Again, that doesn’t sound like a whole lot, but considering what he’s had to deal with injurywise, combined with the fact that this offense really likes to spread the love around, I think it’s remarkable.

Other Things That Caught My Eye (In A Bad Way)

David Moore had a pretty bad game.  His best play was probably preventing an interception on an under-thrown deep ball by Wilson.  There was a picture-perfect touchdown opportunity, but he failed to drag his foot down in bounds.  That was the same drive that ended the half on an interception, so it ended up being a 7-point mistake in what was a 3-0 game for three quarters.

Speaking of which, Russell Wilson had probably his worst game in a winning effort.  37.9 passer rating.  10/20 for only 72 yards and an INT.  His day was somewhat salvaged by the 61 yards on the ground (40 of which came on a single play), but otherwise he was a non-factor.  I think he could’ve turned it around if we needed him to, but the run game was working so well, it was okay to write this one off.

It was a bummer that Doug Baldwin couldn’t go, as he was sorely missed in the passing game.  But, at this point, the Seahawks are 8-5 and just need to beat either the 49ers or Cardinals to guarantee a playoff spot.  Better to get guys like Baldwin and Fluker and whoever else completely healthy for the playoffs.  We’re gonna need those dudes when it’s Loser Goes Home!

Seahawks Fans Don’t Appear To Be Taking The Vikings Seriously

Frankly, I don’t think ANYONE is taking the Vikings seriously.  I think people are looking at the Vikings’ record (6-5-1) and all they see is a mediocre, middle-of-the-road team.

Furthermore, they see this game is on Monday Night, they see the Seahawks are at home, they see the Seahawks have been on a tear recently (3 in a row) and over the last 10 games (7-3), and that’s the end of the analysis.  Seahawks in a laugher, and let’s move on to next week.

There’s a lot at stake in this one.  SO MUCH.  If the Seahawks win, it all but guarantees we secure a playoff spot.  Winning this one – even if we somehow drop one to the 49ers or Cardinals in the final three weeks – still puts us in tremendous position to make the playoffs with a 9-7 record.  

But, the Vikings have just as much on the line.  A win for them puts them in the driver’s seat for that top wild card spot.  From here, they host the Dolphins, go on the road to the Lions, and host the Bears; they should win 2/3 EASILY and it wouldn’t shock me to see them winning all three.  Don’t forget, if the Vikings win out, and the Bears drop one either to the Packers or 49ers, then the Vikings steal the division at 10-5-1.

To their credit, the Vikings sound as pumped up as I’ve ever heard a team coming into Seattle in a primetime game.  If you don’t think they’re coming ready to play, you’re crazy.  If you think the pisspoor crowd noise we’ve had at CenturyLink this year – and really for the last few years – will be enough to rattle them, you’ve got another thing coming.

I keep reflecting on 2017.  Kirk Cousins – on an injury-depleted Redskins team – coming into Seattle as heavy underdogs and narrowly escaping as victors.  The Seahawks were riding high and 5-2 coming into that game.  The season went into the tank from there, as including that game we finished 4-5.

These Vikings are SO MUCH BETTER than that Redskins team.  I would argue a big reason why the Vikings’ record appears so bad is because they started off the season with a lot of injuries, and they’re just now getting healthy again.

The Vikings have a ferocious defense, for starters.  Don’t expect the Seahawks to run the ball as well as they’ve been doing most weeks.  D.J. Fluker being out definitely plays into that and no one’s really talking about it, because Jordan Simmons started in one of those Rams games and did okay.  I think the Seahawks’ O-Line is going to struggle tonight.  Quite frankly, it wouldn’t shock me if they looked Tom Cable-esque.  I expect Chris Carson to be bottled up, and I expect Russell Wilson to be running for his life like we really haven’t seen since the Chicago game back in Week 2.

Our only hope is if we throw the ball a ton, but I don’t know how confident I am in that either.  I’m obviously more confident in that than I am in our running game, but not by a lot.  I think Wilson is destined for at least one turnover, maybe two.  I think we’ll be playing from behind pretty early on in this one, so he’ll have a ton of attempts when it’s all said and done.  And, since I need Wilson to absolutely crush it for one of my fantasy teams, let’s just go ahead and lock it in that he’s going to score below 20 points tonight.

Defensively for the Seahawks, I think we match up about as poorly as with anyone in the league.  The Vikings have two ELITE receivers with a capital ELITE in Adam Thielen and Stefon Diggs; whereas the Seahawks have a secondary that can’t tackle and doesn’t really cover all that well.  I expect Cousins to have a monster game.  Furthermore, while the Vikings don’t run the ball particularly well, the Seahawks are among the worst defenses in the league at stopping the run, so figure the Vikes get at least 150 on the ground as they move the ball at will.

Honestly, I won’t call for a Vikings blowout, but I think they’ll be up big by halftime, and it’ll take a furious Seahawks comeback in the second half to bring this game back to single digits.  Ultimately, I see a Seahawks loss – their THIRD of the season at home – and I see this thing being a lot more interesting the rest of the way.

I still think the Seahawks make the playoffs.  I still think we’ll beat the 49ers and Cardinals.  Honestly, I think our chances of beating the Chiefs are better than the Vikings!  It wouldn’t shock me in the SLIGHTEST if we scored with the Chiefs and nipped them in the end, because their defense is so bad!

But, like I’ve said before, when do the Seahawks ever make it easy on themselves?  This should be a minor blip, but it will be a blip.  Thankfully, as I believe both us and the Vikings will be wild card teams, we won’t have to play them in January.