A Paragraph With The Mariners – 83

I love Ron Fairly, okay? There, I said it. I miss that gruff, repetitive bastard. I miss that gruff, repetitive bastard. Well, for anyone around a radio this weekend, he’s been doing games with Rick Rizzs what with Dave Niehaus being on vacation this week. For the most part, I don’t have a problem with the rotation of guys the Mariners use to announce their games on television and radio. I even understand why they have Niehaus only going 3 innings on TV before doing the rest on radio. What I kinda don’t understand is why Dave Sims was brought in to do the other 6 television innings, when they already had (and still do have) a perfectly capable and likeable guy in Rick Rizzs – who’s been demoted for a few seasons now to being exclusively radio. It’s not that I dislike Dave Sims – or really have much of an opinion at all about Dave Sims – it’s just that Rizzs is the man! And, in lieu of Ron Fairly leaving the team at the end of 2006, we brought in Mike Blowers – another guy I don’t really have much of an opinion about. The best compliment I can give Blowers is that he’s not Tim McCarver – the most annoying man in the history of Men Talking On Television. So, I guess I better refrain from ever complaining about Blowers or Sims or anyone else. No, I’m not worried about Tim McCarver slumming it up following the Mariners around all season. But, you never know who’ll be the NEXT Tim McCarver … ye gods, that’s a frightening thought (I imagine it would sound a lot like Dave Valle)

A Paragraph With The Mariners – 31

There’s nothing that annoys the shit out of me more than ballplayers who try to Play Through The Pain, then proceed to Suck Through The Pain. You’re no fucking good to me if you eat shit out there Like A Man. Which is why Adam Moore is a fucking waste of space. You injure your heel while legging out an infield single, you stay IN, then Ichiro hits what should’ve been a fucking double, but was the longest single in MLB history because Adam Waste Of Space couldn’t hobble past 2nd base. Today’s loss could have been avoided. With a 2-0 lead, it would’ve been runner on 2nd and 3rd with 1 out. Figgins wouldn’t have hit into the double play; likely he would’ve gotten a run home somehow, someway. And we could’ve taken a 3-2 lead into the 9th instead of a 2-2 tie that was ultimately lost in the 9th thanks to Colome (by the way, I started writing this in the middle of the 9th when the M’s blew having a runner on 2nd with no out in the top half; I KNEW we’d blow it in the bottom). So, fuck you Adam Moore. I hope you land on the DL you fucking macho dumbshit. P.S. the FOX announcers are clinically retarded and I hope they die in a horrible plane crash on the way to their next scheduled telecast; they could not have been more annoying. Stop talking about Nelly in a tie fucking game in the 8th and 9th innings you miserable fucking twats!