Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2023: A Pillow Fight For The Ages

If I was unlucky in Week 3, I’d say luck was on my side in Week 4, as Fight The Mattriarchy defeated Toot Cannons 115.85 to 96.65.

Neither team, clearly, blew the doors off of this week. I got a good game out of Kyren Williams, a few okay performances here and there, but I also got a 0 from Jordan Addison, sub-5 games from Hockenson and my kicker, and my quarterbacks got a combined 29.05 (while Justin Fields and Terry McLaurin got 37.25 and 22.6 for my bench). He, on the other hand, had a good game from Justin Jefferson, but also was saddled with very bad weeks from Olave, Higgins, Goedert, the 49ers’ defense, and his quarterbacks totalled even fewer points than mine (while leaving De’Von Achane’s 27 points on his bench).

That props me back up to a 2-2 record, which is good for fifth place a month into the season. Even though I’ve been wildly inconsistent, I’m looking more and more like a playoff team if I can keep my guys healthy.

This upcoming Week 5 is where I start to see some BYEs take effect. It’s by no means devastating (save that for Week 7, when I have to fill my defense, kicker, and two Cowboys), but Kenneth Walker will definitely be missed.

No roster moves this week, unless someone comes down with an ailment and I’m able to add someone to my IR spot, so let’s get right to the lineups.

  • Kirk Cousins (QB) vs. KC
  • Jordan Love (QB) @ LV
  • CeeDee Lamb (WR) @ SF
  • Jordan Addison (WR) vs. KC
  • Tony Pollard (RB) vs. NE
  • Kyren Williams (RB) vs. Phi
  • T.J. Hockenson (TE) vs. KC
  • Terry McLaurin (WR) vs. Chi
  • Evan McPherson (K) @ Ari
  • N.Y. Jets (DEF) @ Den

We’re at the point I was dreading: flip-flopping between Love and Fields.

It’s obnoxious that it took Fields four weeks to finally blow up. It’s also obnoxious that I opted to sit him against that feeble Broncos defense (and against the allegedly less-feeble Guardians defense). What’s encouraging is that Fields did the vast majority of the damage with his arm, throwing for 335 yards and 4 TDs, while rushing for only 25 yards on 4 attempts (vs. the Broncos) and 282 yards and 4 TDs, while rushing for only 57 yards on 11 attempts last night. Grain of salt and all that, but here’s hoping that he’s able to keep that going against superior opponents.

Love, to his credit, looked fine on Thursday night, until a late interception thoroughly ruined my night. I was more taken aback by Cousins having such a terrible game against the Panthers of all teams; but, you’re gonna get at least four of those a year. We managed to withstand it this time, let’s hope it’s a while before it happens again. Let’s also hope Love and Fields eventually entrench themselves as my two starters, so I don’t NEED to use Cousins against better defenses. For now, though, Cousins has to be my #1, and I’ll continue to mix and match with Love and Fields.

Love is an interesting case, because he seems to be touchdown-dependent. The Packers actually have something resembling a competent defense, so they should be involved in much closer games; whereas the Bears are still kind of a disaster, and figure to find themselves in more negative game scripts. For this week, I don’t love the Fields matchup against Washington, nor do I love playing a guy like him on Thursday night. Love has the Raiders this week, followed by a BYE; during that BYE, Fields plays the Vikings, so the next two weeks could be very instructive. Not for nothing, but Love also has a matchup against the Broncos coming out of his BYE, so that’s definitely encouraging (Week 7 is also a game where Cousins has to play the 49ers, so I’ll be more than happy to bench him that week).

As for this week, I have to hope for a Cousins bounce-back. He’s playing the Chiefs, so they should be throwing a lot. I also have to hope for an Addison bounce-back, as he’s too talented to be this ignored.

My Flex spot goes to McLaurin, though I’m not thrilled with it. I’m sitting Mattison because I think the Chiefs have a solid D-Line. I’m sitting Watson because he’s still working his way back from injury, and might be limited. Scary Terry isn’t sexy, and he’s coming off of a very good week (which gives me pause, because what are the odds he has back-to-back solid performances in that offense?), but the Bears are atrocious, and I don’t see any reason why the Commanders should struggle offensively, even on Thursday night.

Bryce Young returned to the fold and struggled against the Vikings, scoring less than 10 points. He had a season high in yards with 204, but that’s obviously not saying much.

I’m going up against Sloane N Steady, who has this to say:

  • Anthony Richardson (QB) vs. Ten
  • Josh Dobbs (QB) vs. Cin
  • Amon-Ra St. Brown (WR) vs. Car
  • Brandon Aiyuk (WR) vs. Dal
  • Travis Etienne (RB) @ Buf
  • Isiah Pacheco (RB) @ Min
  • Kyle Pitts (TE) vs. Hou
  • Michael Pittman (WR) vs. Ten
  • Younghoe Koo (K) vs. Hou
  • Baltimore (DEF) @ Pit

So, he’s 1-3 and in 8th place. That being said, you could argue I’m pretty close to that fate, so I’m not counting my chickens in this one.

Richardson looks like a stud; he’s going to be a handful. Dobbs looks surprisingly competent, and should have a high floor. St. Brown and Aiyuk are two of my favorite non-Seahawks receivers (I have them in another league and they’re phenomenal). Baltimore looks like they’re going up against the Steelers’ backup QB, so that could be a nightmare for me.

You’ll know I’m destined to lose this one if Pitts and Pacheco have breakout games. Pitts has been a disaster in that offense (it’s not his fault), and Pacheco is a guy who can do everything, but isn’t necessarily their top scoring weapon. If he has a couple touchdowns, it’s going to be a LONG day for me.

If I REALLY expect to be a playoff team, this is a game I should win. But, fantasy is a fickle beast, so you never know how it’ll all shake out.

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2022: Let The Justin Fields Era Begin!

I’ll be the first to admit, I’m legitimately shocked. Not only did RoundTine defeat Korky Butchek 158.60 to 114.25, but I would’ve defeated 6 out of the 9 other teams in this league last week! It was far and away the most points I’ve scored this season, which is delightful and also really fucking sad. Teams can score over 200 points in our league fairly regularly. 160 is a decent average weekly score. So, yeah.

All praise goes to Justin Fields, though, who got me 49.95 points. That has to be a personal best for any single player on RoundTine this year. He’s turned into an animal! And to think, in the first month of the season, I was THIS CLOSE to cutting him entirely and moving on. If my team wasn’t so atrocious, I might’ve done just that; I shudder to think what I would’ve gotten in his stead, but rest assured I would have wanted to put a bullet in my brain.

I’m a little gunshy about raising the ol’ Mission Accomplished banner, though. I’d like to sit here and boast about how I’ve FINALLY gotten one of my quarterback spots locked down for the foreseeable future. But, all I really see is a guy who unlocked his rushing ability, but who still struggles throwing the ball. Maybe he improves that over the next year – like Jalen Hurts has this past year – or maybe this is as good as it gets with Fields.

I’ll be very interested to see how Fields progresses through the second half, especially in a stretch that includes some elite-level defenses in the Jets, Packers, Eagles, and Bills. If he continues on this trajectory, and improves his passing ability, I might be able to rest a little easier heading into 2023. At the very least, maybe I can make some noise in the Consolation Bracket this year!

I got another 27.5 points out of Kenneth Walker, as well as a ridiculous trade offer for him, in exchange for a broken-down Matthew Stafford. I shot that down immediately and countered an offer of Brian Robinson for Stafford. He swatted that one away and came back with a Stafford for Philly’s Defense offer. Boy that piqued my interest! I sat with that one for a full day, mulling it over. Stafford clearly isn’t the same player he once was. That shoulder isn’t getting any better, and the more the Rams lose, the closer we’ll get to them just shutting Stafford down for the year. At which point, either he rests & rehabs, or he goes in for surgery (or, worst case scenario, he rest & rehabs, that fails, and then he goes in for surgery later, costing him a chunk of next season). Best case scenario, he’s on an offense with one good skill guy for the rest of this year.

I crowd sourced my dilemma to some friends, who recommended holding out for draft picks next year. I like that idea! I can grab higher draft picks from wherever this guy ends up, and all it will cost me is a defense. On the flipside, I can utilize that defense to help me in the Consolation Bracket this year, getting me potentially a top overall draft pick. There’s a good chance that it won’t matter though. Unless the Philly defense goes bananas in the Consolation Bracket, the rest of my team is likely to be so bad it won’t make a difference. At which point, I’ll wish I had gone after the extra draft capital.

After careful deliberation, I made a slight tweak in my counter offer. I traded the Philly defense and my last two draft picks for Matthew Stafford and his FIRST two draft picks. So, at the very least, even if Stafford gives me nothing this year, I’ll have two first and second rounders in next year’s dynasty draft.

What’s funny is, my trade partner doesn’t really NEED the Philly D. He already has the Patriots. So, other than this BYE week, he’ll have two of the three best fantasy defenses, but obviously he can only play one.

Stafford is looking like he’s out this week, with a concussion. That’s a bit of a bummer, but maybe a week off will do his arm some good. In the meantime, I was able to snag the Jets’ defense. They’re currently fifth in fantasy scoring, but they’ve been on a tear the last six weeks, after struggling mightily the first three. I’ll still need to pick up a defense for this week – with the Jets on a BYE – but if they can keep it up going forward, I don’t think it’s a huge step down from Philly.

This week, I go up against Space Forcin’. Here’s my lineup:

  • Justin Fields (QB) vs. Det
  • Davis Mills (QB) @ NYG
  • CeeDee Lamb (WR) @ GB
  • D.K. Metcalf (WR) @ TB
  • Kenneth Walker (RB) @ TB
  • Tony Pollard (RB) @ GB
  • T.J. Hockenson (TE) @ Buf
  • Gabe Davis (WR) vs. Min
  • Jake Elliott (K) vs. Was
  • TBD (DEF) vs. TBD

We lost Doubs to injury; he’ll be in my IR slot for a while. We also don’t have to worry about the Patriots, thanks to their BYE. What I do have to worry about is what decisions they make regarding their starting quarterback position. How patient are they going to be with Mac Jones, who is clearly struggling? That leaves me in a 2-week limbo period, since you know news won’t leak from there until it’s too late.

Here’s what I’m going up against:

  • Marcus Mariota (QB) @ Car
  • Patrick Mahomes (QB) vs. Jax
  • Chris Godwin (WR) vs. Sea
  • Davante Adams (WR) vs. Ind
  • Alvin Kamara (RB) @ Pit
  • Dameon Pierce (RB) @ NYG
  • Dalton Schultz (TE) @ GB
  • Antonio Gibson (RB) @ Phi
  • Younghoe Koo (K) @ Car
  • Buffalo (DEF) vs. Min

Lots of studs! Mahomes always throws for 17 touchdowns whenever I go up against him, so look for him to out-score my entire team. Also, that Pierce guy is one of the best young running backs in the game today. In the draft, it came down to him or Walker. I’m happy with my choice, but still.