Tag Archives: Michael Penix

Predicting The 2026 NFL Season

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It’s that time of year again, where I try to predict all the division winners and the playoff outcomes. Let’s go! Here are my prior season predictions:

I don’t really have a whole lot to hang my hat on from last year. I had the Broncos winning the West, which was a little bit of an upset, but not huge. There’s lots of nuggets of sounding like I know what I’m talking about, but I also had the Ravens in the AFC Championship Game, and they didn’t even make the fucking playoffs.

2026 is a new year, though! So, let’s dance.

NFC East

  • Dallas Cowboys
  • Philadelphia Eagles
  • New York Giants
  • Washington Commanders

Yeah, I guess I’ll bite. This will probably look super dumb at this point next year, but Dallas is a very chic pick. The offense looks tremendous, and the defense appears to have taken strides towards improvement. I like them and the Eagles to be neck and neck; maybe a tiebreaker situaton gives Dallas the edge. Also, watch out for the Giants. Don’t ask me why; I don’t believe they’ll have what it takes to make the playoffs, but they could get close. I like Washington to be TERRIBLE.

NFC North

  • Green Bay Packers
  • Chicago Bears
  • Detroit Lions
  • Minnesota Vikings

This is the most difficult division to predict, because all of the teams have a chance to be good. Many are saying it’s going to be the best division in football, which usually feels like a death knell for said division. I have decided to just run back my prediction from last year. I’m choosing to drink the Jordan Love Kool Aid. I’m choosing to believe Ben Johnson will be a Top 6 head coach after this season. I’m also choosing to believe that the Lions keep getting massive amounts of injuries for a reason, and maybe Dan Campbell is kind of an idiot. Finally, I choose to believe Kyler Murray sucks, and no amount of KOC is going to fix that quarterback room.

NFC South

  • New Orleans Saints
  • Carolina Panthers
  • Tampa Bay Bucaneers
  • Atlanta Falcons

I’ll also gladly step onto the Saints bandwagon, as I think Tyler Shough is the real deal! And, in spite of losing a valued D-Lineman, I think the Saints have enough on defense to win this pathetic division. I was going to throw Tampa into the second spot, but they hired one of the worst OCs of recent memory in Zac Robinson (he was with the Falcons last year, and didn’t know what the FUCK he was doing), so they’re third. I legitimately believe Carolina has a good coaching staff, and will continue to hang around .500 in spite of Bryce Young. The Falcons are kind of a disaster, as much as it pains me. Tua has no business starting over Penix. You could chop any three limbs off of Penix’s body and he should still play over Tua!

NFC West

  • Los Angeles Rams
  • Seattle Seahawks
  • San Francisco 49ers
  • Arizona Cardinals

I’m taking all of my homerism out of the equation here. This brings me zero joy, and quite frankly, I hope to God I’m wrong! But, I got the Rams here. It’s not that I believe Seattle will be bad – indeed, they might be my highest-rated wild card team – but I just think the Rams have a chance to be a 2-loss team. I also think the 49ers will be mediocre, and the Cards will be one of the worst teams in football.

AFC East

  • Buffalo Bills
  • New England Patriots
  • Miami Dolphins
  • New York Jets

Maybe my biggest upset of this whole post is NOT having the Dolphins fourth. That just goes to show how little I believe in Geno Smith and Aaron Glenn. I like the Bills for a bounce-back, and I like the Patriots to lay a big, fat turd! Here’s a prediction for ya: the Pats will NOT be back in this year’s playoffs!

AFC North

  • Cincinnati Bengals
  • Baltimore Ravens
  • Cleveland Browns
  • Pittsburgh Steelers

Here’s what I’m thinking: I’m going to pick every single chic team from this offseason to win their respective divisions (Cowboys, Packers, Saints, Rams, Bills, Bengals) and just hope to hit on like 2/3 of them. I will say that this is very much a Heart pick, and not a Head pick. I want the Bengals back in the playoffs. I want Joe Burrow to stay healthy for the full season. And, I’m curious to see if the moves they made on defense can be just good enough. That being said, I don’t think any other team is an overwhelming favorite. I’ll believe the Ravens when I see it; moving on from John Harbaugh feels like a mistake. The Browns are obviously a joke. But, that being said, I think the Steelers will be worse. Aaron Rodgers is toast. McCarthy is kind of a loser. The defense is old and overrated. D.K. Metcalf is abysmal. I think the Steelers will finally bottom out and next year will have a real chance to draft their quarterback of the future.

AFC South

  • Houston Texans
  • Jacksonville Jaguars
  • Tennessee Titans
  • Indianapolis Colts

I like the Texans a lot. So much, in fact, I’m predicting they will get the #1 seed in the AFC. I still like the Jags to make the playoffs. I like the Titans to take a step forward, and I like the Colts to take a step back.

AFC West

  • Denver Broncos
  • Kansas City Chiefs
  • Los Angeles Chargers
  • Las Vegas Raiders

I just think the Broncos are good. Their defense is great, and the offense is fine. Here’s something for you: I like both the Chiefs and Chargers as wild card teams! And, I like the Raiders to be better than last year, but not good enough to make the playoffs.

NFC Playoffs

  1. Los Angeles Rams
  2. Green Bay Packers
  3. Dallas Cowboys
  4. New Orleans Saints
  5. Seattle Seahawks
  6. Philadelphia Eagles
  7. Chicago Bears

AFC Playoffs

  1. Houston Texans
  2. Buffalo Bills
  3. Denver Broncos
  4. Cincinnati Bengals
  5. Jacksonville Jaguars
  6. Kansas City Chiefs
  7. Los Angeles Chargers

Wild Card Round

  • Packers over Bears
  • Eagles over Cowboys
  • Seahawks over Saints
  • Bills over Chargers
  • Chiefs over Broncos
  • Jaguars over Bengals

Divisional Round

  • Rams over Eagles
  • Seahawks over Packers
  • Texans over Chiefs
  • Bills over Jaguars

Championship Round

  • Seahawks over Rams
  • Texans over Bills

Super Bowl LXI

  • Seahawks over Texans

Who Would The Seahawks Rather Have Over Sam Darnold Going Forward?

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I have very specific parameters for this thought experiment. First and foremost, salary DOES matter. What they’re making, what they’re under contract for, it affects the decision-making. Secondly, age and experience come into play. The idea is: who would you rather have as your quarterback from 2026 onward? Third, everything else remains the same. This is a Seahawks-centric blog and a Seahawks-centric question. You pick the quarterback, you put him on this team with the players we currently have locked in, with all the impending free agents potentially staying or going, and so on and so forth. Fourth, forget about what you might have to give up to get this hypothetical alternative quarterback. Let’s just say, in Imaginationland, it’s a one-for-one swap of quarterbacks; we take on the new guy’s deal, they take on Sam’s deal (forget about any dead-cap implications of guys being traded; for the sake of argument, we’re just getting their deal as it’s listed on Over The Cap or whatever, and throwing it onto the Seahawks as if we’ve had them all along). And, to make it easier on myself, I’m just going to go by their Average Yearly Salary, because I don’t have time to get into the weeds on this. Maybe if I were a millionaire and didn’t have to work anymore, and had all the free time in the world …

Taking a look at the list of quarterback salaries (by average per year), Darnold is 18th on the list, right in between Geno Smith (17th) and Baker Mayfield (19th). We can start chopping off guys making more money than Darnold who aren’t as good. Geno’s out; he stinks. I don’t believe for one second that we would’ve won the Super Bowl with Geno Smith behind center; he definitely would’ve blown the NFC Championship Game, and I don’t even think he gets us to the #1 seed in the first place!

I will also easily rule out Kirk Cousins, Deshaun Watson, Kyler Murray, and Tua Tagovailoa; I don’t need to explain myself, they are all definitively worse than Darnold and making more money.

Next on the chopping block are guys who are comparable (in talent) but making more money. That’s guys like Dak (#1 overall in average yearly salary), Jordan Love (#4), Trevor Lawrence (#5), Jared Goff (#7), Brock Purdy (#8), Justin Herbert (#9), and Jalen Hurts (#11). I don’t believe any of these players are dramatically better than Darnold. They’re also all around the same age or older, and feel at least close to being finished products; I don’t see any of these guys taking big leaps in development the rest of the way.

That leaves names you would expect to see ahead of Darnold: Joe Burrow (#2), Josh Allen (#3), Lamar Jackson (#10), Patrick Mahomes (#15), and Matthew Stafford (#16). I’m going to eliminate Stafford straight away, because he just turned 38 years old and 2025 might’ve been his last elite year. I feel like it’s downhill from there, sooner rather than later. I’m also going to chop off Lamar Jackson and Joe Burrow due to injury concerns. I’m sorry, but they’ve both missed so many games in their respective careers, and they’re only getting older. That’s going to take its toll. Meanwhile, Darnold has been remarkably healthy in his career, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

That just leaves Allen and Mahomes of the 17 players ahead of Darnold in average yearly salary. Let’s pause here and take a look at the guys making less money than Darnold.

Non-starters for me include: Justin Fields, Daniel Jones, Aaron Rodgers, Russell Wilson, and Bryce Young. Too old, too bad, and in the case of Young, too short and inconsistent; I don’t see him doing anything of relevance in the NFL.

Recent draft picks on rookie deals include: Cam Ward, Caleb Williams, Jayden Daniels, Drake Maye, C.J. Stroud, Michael Penix, J.J. McCarthy, Bo Nix, Jaxson Dart, and Tyler Shough. Apologies to anyone else drafted recently, but those are the big names. We’ll return to them in a moment.

Wild cards include the aforementioned Baker Mayfield and Malik Willis. Every other quarterback, I would consider to be NFL backups, and again not worth my time.

Baker is talented, and making slightly less money, but I’m ruling him out because while he’s a tough SOB, he’s also very much worse when he plays through injury, and he seems to get injured quite a bit. I can’t have it. As for Malik, I think he’s been terrific as a spot starter in Green Bay the last couple years, but I need to see him do it over a full season before I can even think about taking him over Darnold.

The young guys make this argument tough. I think I’m going to chop Ward; need to see him actually succeed on the field and lift his team up to respectability before I can roll with him over Darnold. I’m going to cut J.J. and Dart, because I don’t believe they are very good. It’s a close call, but I’m going to eliminate Penix and Daniels because of injury concerns. They’re very slight, and they’ve already had some pretty serious injuries.

That leaves Caleb, Maye, Stroud, Nix, and Shough. Stroud is intriguing, because I don’t think he is nearly as inept as he looked in the playoffs. I think he’s been cursed from the get-go with a terrible offensive line, and he’s had tons of receiver injuries throughout his career. He would be top notch on the Seahawks’ offense, with a proper dedication to the run and play-action game. But, he’s also going into the final year of his rookie deal. Granted, he’ll have the fifth-year option, but that man is going to want to be paid among the big dogs, at which point you’re not necessarily seeing the money savings. With that in mind, is he lots better than Darnold? I’d say not, so he’s out.

Nix is okay. Is he just good in the one (Sean Payton) offensive system? From a talent perspective, he’s not better than Darnold. He is more cost-effective, though. But, for whatever reason, I’m leaning towards him being a No for me, dawg. Maybe if he didn’t play ball at Oregon.

I think I would say yes to each of Caleb, Maye, and Shough. Shough is rock solid, plus has the added benefit of being a second round pick, so he’s even cheaper! Maye isn’t as bad as he looked in the playoffs; put him behind our O-Line, and I think he’d be just fine. And I loved what I saw from Caleb this year. Just rein him in half-a-crank with the wild throws, and you’ve got something. I mean, shit, it’s not like Darnold doesn’t have his share of wild throws!

Now, let’s go back to Allen and Mahomes. Mahomes might be one of the biggest bargains in the NFL at this point! His $45 million per year is only $11.5 million more than Darnold is making, and he’s under contract through 2031. That being said, there are a couple of void years tacked on, so I don’t know what that means. But, with the way the NFL salary cap keeps going up and up and up, I feel like we could withstand it. Plus, he’ll still only be 36 years old in the final season of his deal, which makes him primed for an extension, assuming he’s still playing at a hall of fame level. If we assume Allen and Mahomes play until they’re 40, I’m not worried about their respective ages being slightly older than Darnold.

You could make an injury case, but I think both guys are pretty smart and talented enough to have second careers as pocket passers. Allen is making $55 million, which is up near the top of the market, but he’s signed through 2030. He’s got three void years on his deal, with almost $22 million in dead money baked in. I’m not overly concerned, because I think he would also be primed for some sort of extension by that point, allowing us to spread the hit a little more evenly beyond that.

That, I think, would be my five quarterbacks I would rather have over Sam Darnold going forward: Josh Allen, Patrick Mahomes, Caleb Williams, Drake Maye, and Tyler Shough. You might think I’m destined for Western State by adding Shough to that list, but he really impressed me this season! He seems to have a lot of traits that are needed to be a winner in this league, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the biggest bargain in the NFL in 2026.

The Calm Before The Gauntlet

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Gauntlet might be a strong word, but here’s where we are right now: this week, we face a pretty bad Falcons team down in Atlanta. Then, we close out with four games against teams with varying records and levels of competence

  • Indianapolis Colts, tied for AFC South lead at the moment
  • Los Angeles Rams, tied for NFC West and best record in the NFC at the moment
  • @ Carolina, 7-6 at the moment, in the hunt for a wild card and NFC South title
  • @ San Francisco, 1/2 game back of best record in NFC, currently the last wild card spot

The Colts are good, but flawed (and fading of late). The Rams are obviously elite. The Panthers are an inconsistent, .500-ish type club, and don’t really scare me one bit (but, you can’t have the “gauntlet” narrative without hyping them up; also, they DID beat the Rams, so they’re not totally without merit). And, the 49ers are pretty damn good, in spite of their litany of injuries.

So, there’s a non-zero cause for concern this week. The Falcons aren’t TOTALLY inept. But, they’re down a starting quarterback (pour one out for Michael Penix) and probably a #1 receiver (pour one out for my fantasy team and Drake London). Their offensive coordinator is yet another Sean McVay cast-off who had never called plays for an offense before going to Atlanta. Remember how Shane Waldron was a “passing game coordinator” for the Rams, before being hired by the Seahawks? Yeah, the Falcons have Shane Waldron 2.0, aka Zac Robinson. Never trust a Zac with no H or K at the end!

I would argue their entire coaching staff is pretty bad. Raheem Morris is a fine defensive coordinator, but he’s not a head coach, I’m sorry. Which shows in the fact that the Falcons have a decent defense. I wouldn’t say they’re anything to be super worried about, but they’re young and they can cause pressue via the blitz. I don’t know if they’re a poor man’s Vikings or a rich man’s Vikings, but I would expect to see a similar defensive gameplan. I hope the Seahawks get things figured out on offense a little better.

This won’t be a total retread of last week’s game for a couple reasons. For starters, the Falcons don’t have Max Brosmer. And secondly, those Atlanta fans can get pretty loud when their team is playing well. So, it would behoove us to get off to a good start and really silence that stadium.

We get to see Kirk Cousins, who is definitely a step down from Penix. But, he’s leaps and bounds better than Brosmer. I do expect us to get to him, hit him, harass him. But, he’ll also complete some things and score some points. This will be a marginally tougher game than last week.

The thing to worry about is overlooking the Falcons. What do they call it? A trap game?

Here’s hoping it’s a Get Right game. The offense has been spotty two out of the last three weeks. I’d like to see JSN get back on track. And, I’d like to see us continue to spread the ball around, until we find a proper #2. I’ve given up on getting anything but a marginal impact from the run game. But, I’d like to see Kupp and Shaheed do some damage. Let’s get ONE deep shot to Shaheed in this one, just to see if we can do it. Put that on tape, make defenses worry about his speed.

This SHOULD be a comfortable win, but I fear it will be a close one. I think we’re going to see a nice, solid Sam Darnold game-winning drive in the fourth quarter to put us over the top. Maybe something like 21-17.

The Schedule Eases Up A Bit For The Seahawks

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This week, we square off against a one-win Titans team in Tennessee. They’re breaking in a rookie quarterback, they have no weapons on offense to speak of, probably their offensive line sucks, and other than one massive defenseman, they have nothing going on on the other side of the ball. And if they didn’t already fire their head coach, they will at some point before the 2026 season.

I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t think I’ve watched a minute of the Titans play. I think I’ve seen some highlights of Cam Ward; he looks good when his receivers aren’t dropping balls left and right. But, this just isn’t their year. Here’s to hoping they use their high draft picks in 2026 to bolster the O-Line.

I’m expecting the Seahawks to cruise to victory and come back home 8-3. Where the Vikings will be waiting next weekend. The Vikings have a boom-or-bust defense and a wildly inconsistent second-year quarterback in J.J. McCarthy (who I just traded for in fantasy, so look out). They definitely don’t look as strong as they did before the season started. Plus, the Darnold Revenge Game of it all.

Then, we go to Atlanta to play the Falcons, who lost Penix for the year and are saddled with a broken down Kirk Cousins, and that abysmal offensive coordinator. The Falcons have a lot of talent on defense, but I feel like they’re severely restricted by their coaching staff not being up to snuff.

That leads us right into the final stretch: home Indy, home (on Thursday) Rams, at Carolina, and at Frisco. We should be 10-3 heading into those games. Indy is obviously MUCH better than we anticipated heading into the season. But, there are some warts on that team. Obviously, the running game is elite, and Danny Dimes has played wonderfully. The defense isn’t all that; I could see this game going much the same way the Bucs game went (though, hopefully with a different end result).

The Rams game is going to be a Must Win, if we want to win the division. We’ve shown we can hang with them; now it’s time to execute. Carolina is OK, but they’re a .500-ish team playing like a .500-ish team. Sometimes, their offense is on it; sometimes, their offense looks like the most inept unit in football. We should win that one. And that brings us to the 49ers: the ultimate NFL wild card. I don’t know WHAT to expect from this team. Will they be back to near full-strength? Will they continue to suffer myriad injuries? I do expect this game to go differently than in Week 1, with the Seahawks coming out on top.

I think 13-4 is on the table. But, I’ll say this: that one loss CAN’T be the Rams. And, even if it’s not, and we beat them to bring our head-to-head back to even, I’m having a hard time finding a fourth loss for them. It’s going to have to be an upset. They play the Cards twice, they also go to Carolina and Atlanta. The remaining two games are this week against a banged up Bucs team, and a few weeks from now against the Lions (both games at home). They HAVE to lose one of those games, or somehow get beaten by the Cards, otherwise we’re going to lose this division to them regardless.

And, if you were wondering about the Eagles and maybe getting into the #1 seed? Go ahead and forget that. Their remaining schedule is so easy, it’s not even worth going through. At the Bills in late December is their only remotely difficult game, and we just saw what an elite defense can do to the Bills.

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2025: The Moops Are Over .500

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Previously, on Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team:

For the first time all year, The Moops are a game over .500, thanks to a 147.75 to 97.35 victory over The Fabled Fondo Boys.

Pretty much everyone on his team had a bad week, except for the Steelers’ defense. I wouldn’t say my team was any great shakes, but the Browns’ defense also rose to the occasion, and I had a great week from Trey McBride.

However, I can’t get too excited, because calamity has struck my team once again. Michael Penix is out for the rest of the year with a knee injury (not the one he had surgically repaired in college), and Drake London is week-to-week with his own knee injury. For those keeping track at home, Penix and London were largely carrying my team (well, London was anyway). Now, I’m left scrambling.

What’s worse, Week 12 is my last BYE week of the season. Which means I’m missing Ladd McConkey (more critical than ever that I was able to trade for him right before he started blowing up) and Kimani Vidal. I have Parker Washington for the Jags, to at least fill up a WR spot. And, I’ll have to go back to the well of starting both Seahawks running backs again (thankfully, the Titans don’t project to be too much of a challenge). But, now I have a wide open FLEX spot, and a glaring hole at quarterback. Which brings us to …

Waiver Wire Jamboree:  I put in for two claims. First, Bryce Young was available, so I made him my top priority. Since I had no money to spend in my FAAB, though, he was long gone. Second, I went back to Kirk Cousins, who – shockingly (*sarcasm*) – nobody wanted. I ended up dropping Rachaad White (who I picked up for a one-week RB fill-in, after dropping both of the Washington RBs, one after another). I ended up having immediate buyer’s remorse though, so I re-dropped Cousins and picked up Tyler Shough. He seems to have a better matchup this week (Atlanta’s defense has been atrocious the last two weeks), but he’s also at least got a moderate amount of future upside. His last start two weeks ago (before the BYE) saw him generate 25.8 points, in just his third NFL appearance. Since, you know, the long-term viability of Penix might be in question, I’m gonna need to take another bite at that apple. The quarterback leftovers include Davis Mills, the aforementioned Cousins, Tyrod Taylor, Mason Rudolph, and Shedeur Sanders; none of them are worth a damn. So, fingers crossed for Shough!

UPDATE: Once I picked up Shough, I texted with someone else in the league who maybe jokingly/maybe seriously offered me J.J. McCarthy for him straight up, because he hates J.J. McCarthy. Rather than let it go, I decided to make the trade offer and give him something to really think about. He ended up taking the deal by the end of the day, so now I’ve got J.J.

I’ll say this: I don’t have a lot of hopes for this working out. There’s been talk of him being benched earlier this season; there’s been talk of him being benched again at some point in the near future. He doesn’t throw for many yards, he doesn’t seem to be accurate, and he turns the ball over way too fucking much. He’s got two 20+ games under his belt, and one of them came in Week 1. But, here’s the thing, if it’s going to work out for him, we’re going to find out in the next six weeks. The Vikings’ schedule really opens up, especially in an upcoming three-game stretch against Washington, Dallas, and the Giants. If he can’t get it done against those dogshit defenses, then probably all hope is lost.

I’ll also say this: I don’t think I’ve ever won a trade against the guy I just traded with. His was the infamous trade I made, giving up a young Tyreek Hill for an old Tom Brady (back when Brady was on the downside of his Patriots career, pre Tampa-resurgence). I’m sure there are other trades I’m forgetting, but that one really stuck out. So, put your money on J.J. continuing to suck, while Shough becomes a future MVP candidate.

In other waiver news, I still needed a receiver to fill out a full roster, so I picked up Darnell Mooney and finally dropped Matthew Golden. Based on the players getting added this week, there’s apparently some buzz behind Golden, for literally no reason, which has me concerned. But, I mean, I can’t start a guy who’s going to get me 3 points, and I need to at least TRY to win this week, to keep my playoff hopes alive.

My victory last week brings me to 6-5 on the season. More importantly, three of the erstwhile 5-5 teams lost, dropping to 5-6. Which means, you guessed it! I am currently sitting in a playoff spot! I’m not only in fifth place, but for the first time in a long time, I’m not last in total points scored! What a comeback!

Will this be my high-water mark on the season, though? Will it all be downhill from here?

Next up, I face the first place team, Toot Cannons. That’s not what you want right after losing your best quarterback and wide receiver. Fortunately, he’s got issues of his own. Jayden Daniels is on BYE, Kyler Murray is on IR, Cam Skattebo is on IR, Travis Hunter is on IR, the Broncos’ defense is on BYE, De’Von Achane is on BYE, and R.J. Harvey is on BYE. Then, he has the questionable Marvin Harrison Jr. and Bucky Irving.

Any way you slice it, these are two beat-up teams getting ready to play one another.

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2025: The Miracle Moops!

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Previously, on Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team:

By the time the stupid Germany game was done, I had already lost one league (going up against Jonathan Taylor’s 50-something points) and by the time the morning games were over, I was well on my way to losing a second league (going up against De’Von Achane’s 40-something points), with The Moops not far behind.

It wasn’t so much The Moops suffering one massive opponent player, but rather my own guys getting off to a slow start, and Beasts’ players projected to do very, very well. I only got 10 with Cleveland’s Defense; he had Seattle’s 26. I got a combined 22 points out of Walker and Charbonnet; he got 20 from JSN alone. I had 5 from Tampa’s kicker; he got 15 from Seattle’s.

But then, things started to go my way. I got almost 28 from McBride; he was limited to 11 from Derrick Henry. I only got 14.75 from Penix, but he only got 5.3 from Nix. And then the Sunday Night Game REALLY pushed this one in my favor. He had Herbert, who was outscored by my McConkey. D.K. sucked; Kimani Vidal was awesome. It got to the point where I had a 10-12 point lead heading into Monday Night Football, with my Jordan Love going up against his Josh Jacobs; the game was practically in the bag!

And then that bizarre Eagles/Packers game happened. Jordan Love was largely impotent; Josh Jacobs scored the Packers’ only touchdown. We were running out of time, and Beasts had overtaken me. I needed a miracle!

That came in the form of a late game Josh Jacobs fumble on fourth down. That put him behind by less than half a point, with just under 2 minutes to go. If the Eagles had managed to run out the clock, I would’ve had the narrowest of victories. Instead, they gave the ball back to Green Bay with 25 seconds or so. Thankfully, Love didn’t turn it over, and added a bit to his total. The Moops won 152.25 to 151.10!

Waiver Wire Jamboree:  No waiver claims this week. I just waited until Wednesday morning and picked up Parker Washington as a free agent, dropping the second kicker I no longer require. It’s not that I need a fourth receiver – I could certainly use a decent running back – but I opted for Best Player Available. Not for this week, naturally, but next week I have three guys on BYE, including Ladd. I’ll end up putting both Seahawks running backs into my starting lineup again, then I’ll toss Washington into my FLEX spot. Washington is interesting to me, because the Jags just lost Hunter for the year, and Brian Thomas has been a colossal bust. On top of which, his last three games have seen him score in double digits, with the last two being 17+ games. Maybe he’s a guy who fills the void on that team and dominates the rest of the way! Or, maybe he has one more great week and I can try to trade him to a receiver-needy team for an upgrade at running back.

I have clawed my way back to 5-5 after a 1-4 start. It’s only good for 8th place right now, but I’m tied with five other people, with 4 regular season weeks to go. 4 very difficult regular season weeks.

Up next, I have The Fabled Fondo Boys. He’s got Lamar and Dak and Chase; the only break I catch is having Taylor on a BYE. On the plus side, I get my full roster back, so both Lamb and Aubrey will return, and I can sit one of the Seahawks’ running backs. It’ll be a dogfight, that’s for sure!

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2025: Traveling Moops

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Previously, on Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team:

I’m on my first-ever business trip this week – having just returned late last night – so this one is going to be a quickie.

The Moops defeated Turd Sandwich pretty handily, which isn’t surprising when you see what happened. C.J. Stroud got hurt, Mahomes had a bad game; meanwhile, my Penix to London connection got me almost 70 points! I had a couple of okay players after that, but it was really my big two that carried me to my 151.20 to 133.95 victory.

The victory takes me to 4-5 on the season. I have hereby won 3 of my last 4 games, and 4 of my last 6. If I didn’t start with such a miserable 3-game losing streak, we might be talking about something! Instead, I’m still mired in 9th place.

There are 4 teams who are 4-5, 3 teams who are 5-4, and 2 teams who are 6-3. So, I’m still – technically – two games out of first place. But, my hard luck with injuries and BYEs have thwarted any hope for a tiebreaker with anyone. I just need to keep stacking wins and see what happens.

Waiver Wire Jamboree: Last week, I mentioned someone finally got sick and tired of Marvin Harrison Jr.’s shit and waived him, only for him to promptly have the best game of his season (and maybe his career!). Well, on Sunday morning – before the action got started – that same dude waived Rico Dowdle, only for him to promptly be given the starting running back job in Carolina and have another fantastic week.

I think THIS is the reason why you don’t shoot your wad with FAAB so early. Hey, live and learn, right? I will say that we didn’t have nearly this many instances of utter insanity the past few years. Based on the trends of this particular league, guys don’t usually just drop #1 players. Now, we’ve had players in back-to-back weeks up for grabs.

I got a bit of bad news this week. Looks like Omarion Hampton isn’t projected to be designated for return until AFTER the Chargers’ week 12 BYE. Does that mean he’s projected to return to action in week 13? Or, does that mean week 13 is going to be the first week of his 21-day window to return to practice without counting towards the team’s roster limit? Are we actually looking at a week 16 return to action? This is my nightmare!

On top of that, there has been no news whatsoever on Trey Benson. Yahoo just keeps setting him to return when his IR stint is projected to be up, but then kicking that can down the road when nothing happens. The optimistic view was that he would be back this week, but that’s looking less and less likely.

Meanwhile, both Seahawks running backs are pictures of fucking health, of course. The one running back duo you could count on to have someone get injured … and they’ve been available every damn week (except that one game Charbonnet missed, and Walker went off for 2 TDs).

And, to top it all off, I have Dallas on a BYE this week, which means I lose my top wideout (again) in CeeDee Lamb, as well as the world’s best field goal kicker (sit down Jacksonville guy who just hit a 68 yarder; talk to me when you get over 90 fantasy points). Thankfully, I have no use for the Lions defense (who did me a solid and got me 14 points against the Vikings, when it looked like they were actively shitting the bed), so I can drop them and pick up a rental kicker.

But, I have to fill a FLEX spot this week, and it’s fucking miserable. For whatever reason, that Bill guy from Washington keeps getting projected for double-digit points, even though it’s been four straight weeks of sub-6 point games (since his breakout week that caused me to shoot my wad with the last FAAB dollars I had), and he’s been ceding carries to his backup more and more of late. Unfortunately, my only other FLEX options are Matthew Golden (who has thus far been a total fantasy BUST) or doubling up on Seahawks running backs and starting Charbonnet with Walker. This might be one of those games where I just play both Seahawks and hope they combine to get somewhere in the realm of 30 points, even if it’s one guy with a monster and the other just being fine.

I’m really getting concerned about Golden now. The Packers just have so many weapons that are all kind of the same; there’s no way for Golden to stand out. They also don’t seem to be interested in manufacturing any opportunities for him. This year might just be a total lost cause. That being said, I know as soon as I drop him, the Packer fan in our league is going to snap him up. This is when rookie receivers – if they don’t start out on fire – tend to make big leaps in their development. I can’t hold onto a guy this long only to drop him in November, right when he’s going to accelerate!

So, to try to counter that, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! I proposed a trade to the Packer fan in our league: Jordan Love & Matthew Golden for Jalen Hurts and Khalil Shakir. We almost had a similar Hurts for Love deal set a couple years ago, but he backed out. Then, he tried to revive talks after that season ended, and I balked. But, with his shenanigans dropping guys like Harrison and Dowdle, maybe the mood is right and he’s ready to go full Packer Bandwagon Guy. We’ll see.

Anyway, we’re back to the start this week, a revival of my week 1 matchup with Beasts. He destroyed me then, and is projected to do the same now. I don’t see that I have a prayer, outside of some weird, wacky shit happening. He has Herbert & Nix, CMC & Henry, JSN & D.K., and if that wasn’t enough, he has Josh Jacobs as his FLEX. I have the Falcons playing overseas against Indy; I’ll be lucky to get over 100 points in total.

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2025: Last Minute Injuries

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Previously, on Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team:

Every so often, I have these fantasy football moments where it’s like when Luke switched off his targeting computer in Star Wars. I get a wild hair up my ass believing that someone who’s hit or miss is going to out-play someone who is almost always a sure thing. Except, I’m not Luke, I don’t have the force, so I get destroyed by the fucking Death Star every fucking time.

This week, it was Matthew Golden going up against the Steelers on Sunday Night Football. My three usual receivers all had tough-looking matchups (Lamb against Denver, London against Miami, McConkey against the Vikings). I ended up starting Golden over McConkey because I thought the Vikings might step up and dominate on Thursday Night. Instead, Ladd got 20.8 points for my bench.

The week went downhill from there.

I found out on Saturday that Kirk Cousins was likely to start over Michael Penix. I was able to pick up Cousins in time, but I had to drop Kyle Pitts to make room. That not only cost me another 14.9 points (because I played no tight end), but then I also found out that Drake London was also banged up and unlikely to play. When he was ultimately ruled out, I had no one on my bench to fill my FLEX spot. That’s two 0’s for my team, with 20.8 on my bench. Oh, and Cousins could only muster a whopping 8.85, meaning I would’ve been better off taking a zero from my quarterback spot and starting Pitts at tight end.

I got hammered by my opponent in this one, 169.05 to 107.95. What can you do? Other than, you know, stop being an idiot?

Waiver Wire Jamboree:  One simple move. I picked up the Lions’ defense and I dropped Kirk Cousins. Either Michael Penix is coming back this week, or I’ll scramble and find someone else. But, I’m not going down with Kirk Cousins again. Detroit has actually put up some serious defensive points this season, so they’ll be a nice little fill-in for the Browns, who are on BYE. I don’t think I’ll be able to hang onto the Lions long-term, but against the Vikings this week? Hopefully, they’ll clean up.

I did notice that whoever owned Marvin Harrison Jr. dropped him this week. He was subsequently purchased with a $41 waiver claim. Seems extreme to me, but if he pans out, worth it if you’ve got the money. I can’t say I feel bad about not having him. That being said, I’m starting to lose my faith in Golden. I think if I have to make an emergency move in the near future, he might be the guy to go.

This week, The Moops go up against Turd Sandwich. A battle of 3-5 vs. 4-4. There is a crazy amount of parity in this league right now. The top three teams are 5-3, five teams are 4-4, I’m 3-5, and last place is 2-6. I don’t know if this is totally random, or what happens after your league has gone Dynasty for a few years, but it’s kinda crazy how everyone is still legitimately in the playoff hunt (what with the top six making it).

I am currently projected to win by a healthy margin this week, and for once that doesn’t feel like a fluke. Unless I’m totally overcome by injuries, I believe I SHOULD win this game! That’s probably a bad sign, right? Confidence in one’s chances is the death knell of this league.

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2025: My Best Week Of The Year

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Previously, on Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team:

The Moops defeated Sloane N Steady 176.80 to 113.05. This was my highest-scoring week of the season, and it was quite enjoyable to have this one pretty much wrapped up at the jump on Sunday.

All praise to the Cleveland defense, who I had in every league I’m in. They got me a whopping 39 points, but the hits didn’t stop there. Trey McBride had a monster game for a second week in a row; both weeks were without Kyler Murray, coincidence? I think not! Bench Kyler, you cowards!

I also got CeeDee Lamb back into that awesome Cowboys offense, which was a sight for sore eyes. And, to double up, the Dallas kicker got me a sweet 17 points; he might be the best keeper I have!

On the downside, I didn’t get much from Love or Penix; both were in the teens. And, while I was happy with Ladd McConkey for another week (15.70; his third productive week in a row), I once again got nothing from my running game. I benched both Seahawks running backs against that Houston defense. That left me with Bill and that Chargers backup. The fact of the matter is, I’m not going to have a good running game until Hampton and Benson return, or until one of the Seahawks guys get injured.

Waiver Wire Jamboree:  Nothing major. I was looking to swap out Cleveland’s defense, but what’s out there isn’t remarkably better. Cincy’s defense is going against the Jets, that’s probably the best available matchup. But, I don’t think I trust the Bengals, even against the worst team in football. So, for now, I’ll keep Cleveland and hope they dominate the Patriots.

I did, however, pick up Kyle Pitts, dropping Terry McLaurin. I’m at a point in my season where I have a tight end BYE this week, I have a kicker BYE coming up in a couple weeks, and in Week 12 I’m going to be short a bunch of players. I need the roster flexibility. And, frankly, with the way he’s been hurt – and the way he’s performed even when healthy – I feel Scary Terry is the most expendable player on my roster. So, he’s out for now. We’ll see if I can get him back at some point.

The win brings me to 3-4. In my league, the top two teams are 5-2, then there are three teams at 4-3, followed by four teams at 3-4. Given my extremely low total points, that puts me firmly in 9th place (ahead of the lone team that’s 1-6).

Our fantasy season is exactly halfway done. The good news is, I’m firmly in the hunt still; I pretty much control my own destiny. The bad news is, I’m all but assured to lose every tiebreaker in the standings, meaning I’ve really got to start stringing together some victories and leapfrogging some guys.

This week, The Moops goes up against the 10th place team, Car Talk With Josh Allen. He’s riding a 6-game losing streak, but he’s projected to beat me pretty soundly. I lucked out in that he’s got Brock Bowers and Travis Etienne on BYE. But, he recently got Rashee Rice back from injury, Josh Allen is coming off a BYE of his own, and Danny Dimes has a pretty choice matchup with the Titans this week.

I, on the other hand, will be playing without my all-world tight end. Also, all three of my receivers have extremely tough matchups. I am absolutely convinced that Matthew Golden is going to outscore at least one of them, but for the life of me I don’t know who I should bench!

Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team 2025: I Won’t Be 0-5

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Previously, on Nobody Wants To Hear About My Fantasy Team:

This was lowkey a critical week for me. Maybe the most important week of my season. If I had lost to The Lance Petemans, I would’ve been guaranteed an 0-5 start. Because this week, both Penix and Love are on BYEs, which means I will have zero quarterbacks starting. As noted previously, I have no backup quarterbacks. And, thanks to the rest of the teams in this league, there are no quarterbacks available in free agency/waivers either. I mean zero. I don’t just mean, “Oh, the leftover handful of QBs are terrible. I mean, they’re all taken! My singular hope – aside from some of them getting dropped this week – would be to pick up a couple of random backups and hope their respective starters get hurt mid-game.

But, let’s face it, I would never do that. Even if I could have my pick of the leftover scrubs still healthy and starting, I wouldn’t waste the roster space. I am riding or dying with Love & Penix. I hope Korky Butchek enjoys the free victory next week.

It has been a lot of dying with Love & Penix this year, but in week 4, we rode! Love got over 35 points, Penix settled for over 23. More importantly, Penix fed London, who got me over 25. This is what I envisioned heading into this season!

Things were a little scary coming off of the Thursday game. Benson, Walker, and McBride got a combined 34.6 points, with zero touchdowns. But, thankfully, Omarion Hampton picked up the slack with 27.5 by himself. I will also say that I managed to drop Baltimore before their dud against the Chiefs this weekend, picking up New England, who got me a healthy 15 (compared to the Ravens getting negative points in their third out of four weeks).

The real key to my victory was Lance having tough matchups. The Lions didn’t do a whole lot against Cleveland, so Goff and his two running backs didn’t get him much. 171.70 to 149.35, with 33.4 of his points coming from George Pickens on Sunday Night.

I will say that Ladd McConkey got me a whopping 2.1 points. Kyren Williams got 10.4 points for my trade partner, but suffice it to say I’m concerned. I fully don’t understand what’s happening. McConkey was SO GOOD last year as a rookie; how is he not the next Puka Nacua? If he doesn’t pour it on against a legitimately bad Commanders defense, I may have to admit I made a huge fucking mistake.

I’m still a month away from Lamb returning, and Scary Terry is week-to-week. Considering McLaurin didn’t look all that amazing when he was healthy, I’m not very confident in things improving. I really NEED Ladd to step it up.

Waiver Wire Jamboree:  A note popped up on Brandon Aiyuk last week, essentially saying the 49ers have no idea when he’s going to be back. It didn’t sound like anytime soon, that’s for sure! And, if/when he does, will he be as effective as he’s been in the past? To me, that makes him expendable. So, I moved Lamb into my IR slot and Aiyuk onto my bench, primed for waiving.

I made two claims this week. One for Woody Marks, for $25. He had a big game last week, his usage has gone up and up, and it feels like he could be a league-winning type of back. The other claim was for Jacksonville’s defense, for $0. I ended up NOT getting Marks. Someone else – someone with most of their waiver dollars – doubled my bid. I wasn’t even the tops of the losing offers, as someone else bid $28. So, again, I had the range correct, but couldn’t get there. I will say it’s nice that I don’t have the highest single bid of the year anymore, and that I don’t have the lowest amount of FAAB left over.

I did end up getting Jacksonville’s defense, so that’s something. Either they’re truly great (right now, they have the second-most points among defenses through four weeks), or they’re pretty good, but have some excellent matchups in the coming weeks. I’ll know a lot more after this week, because if they can take care of business against the Chiefs, then they might have to be an every-week start for me the rest of this year.

Finally, Trey Benson popped up as Questionable. Fuck my life. I dropped New England’s defense to pick up his handcuff, Emari Demercado, because I’ll be God damned if I spend $45 on Benson, only for him to get hurt and someone else reaps the rewards of Arizona’s running game! Sigh, so now I have two handcuffs on my roster, and if Benson is out this week, or otherwise gets outplayed, probably two running back committees as well. FUCK MY LIFE!

In addition to losing my only two quarterbacks to BYEs this week, I’m also down Drake London and Matthew Golden (who has back-to-back weeks of double-digit fantasy points, though is still looking for his first TD). I definitely expect Golden to crack my top three receivers at some point this season, and maybe even hold down a coveted keeper spot when it’s all said and done.

So, to fill out the WR spots, I have Ladd and Chris Godwin, who returned from injury last week, but only generated 5.6 points. I will gladly bench him in favor of Scary Terry, if it looks like he’s going to play. But, either way, I’m not getting my hopes up.

Everything else is the same. Hampton and Benson are my top two guys, with Walker in my FLEX. After this week, I don’t have to worry about BYEs again until Week 8. So, let’s hope I can find some luck with my opponents catching BYEs in the meantime, and I can crawl back to relevance.

I will say it’s a little too bad I’m definitely going to lose this week, because my opponent has some tough-looking matchups. He’s losing Bijan Robinson and Caleb Williams. He’s also the poor sap who has Joe Burrow in his IR slot for the year. He “lucked” into picking up Dillon Gabriel for the Browns, making his first NFL start, otherwise he was just going to have the one QB going this week. Considering Gabriel is making his first start against a blitz-happy Vikings team in Europe, that could actually end up being negative points for him. Really unfortunate timing on my part, but what else is new.

I’m going to try my best not to get my hopes up. I mean, teams have terrible weeks all the time. I just had less than 77 points in week 3 for Christ’s sake, and that’s with both of my QBs going! Anything can happen! But, no. I’m projected to lose by 40 points, and that might be a conservative estimate. After next week, I will be 1-4. And, from there, the big climb begins.